Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent is a completely disgusting rock musician who hasn't had a hit in decades, but maintains his "relevance" by being an outspoken advocate for guns and murdering Democrats.

Ted's Career

For someone who most people know about, Ted Nugent has had an underwhelming career as a musician. Most of his songs never made it above #70 on the charts, and he's never had an album make it above #13, and that was his live album Double Live Gonzo from 1978. Arguably, the most successful thing he's ever done musically was being a part of the "super group" Damn Yankees, who made it to #3 on the Hot 100 with "High Enough."

Throughout Ted's career, two trends are remarkably consistent.

The first is that he writes songs with an adolescent understanding of sexuality. Songs like "Wango Tango," "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang," "Yank Me, Crank Me," and "The Harder They Come (The Harder I Get)" all sound could have been written by a middle school kid.

Unfortunately the second trend of his career is that Ted seems to also be attracted to middle school kids. Songs like "Jailbait," "Little Miss Dangerous," "Girl Scout Cookies," and many others include deeply disturbing lyrics that point toward that conclusion.

There are plenty of musicians who have written songs that cover this sort of territory (Gary Puckett and Benny Mardones come to mind), but what makes Ted's case particularly disturbing is that there appears to be a blurring between art and artist.

In an interview with Howard Stern, Courtney Love discussed how Ted Nugent had her come backstage and perform oral sex on him when she was twelve years old. He would have been approximately 29 at the time. Three years later, he would record the song Jailbait, which includes the lyric, "I don't care if you're just 13/You look too good to be true."

Many people have claimed that in 1978, Ted adopted his 17 year-old girlfriend Pele Massa so her parents could not object to them having sex. This story has been contested by Ted, who insists he didn't adopt her, he just got her parents' blessing. He does not contest being a 30 year-old man who dated a 17 year-old, which is gross, with or without the adoption.

Ted The Patriot

Throughout his career, Ted has paradoxically been one of the grossest creeps in music, and simultaneously the darling of the supposedly "morally driven" GOP. A large part of this is thanks to the GOP being a group of craven hypocrites who lack any true convictions, but the rest of it mostly boils down to how much Ted Nugent loves guns.

Ted has been a Board Member of the National Rifle Association since 1995. In his tenure, he's accidentally been a living embodiment of a strong case for gun control, ranging from the time he called the victims of the Parkland shooting soulless, to the (many) times he brandished machine guns on stage and discussed telling Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Barbara Boxer, and Dianne Feinstein to "suck on his machine gun."

Ted wears his politics the way he wears his sexuality, like a child. When he opens his mouth and argues for gun rights and all manner of conservative positions, all that comes out is the political and policy equivalent of "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang."

Thus, it's really not worth it to even entertain him as a serious thing. That said, it's hilarious that Alex Jones has Ted Nugent on as a guest and as a friend. The excessive love of guns and an adolescent obsession with masculinity clearly creates deep bonds.

Relevant Episodes by Release Date

No.	Title	Coverage start date	Coverage end date	Air date	Episode type
14	14: February 17, 2017	February 17, 2017	February 17, 2017	February 20, 2017	Present Day
15	15: February 20-21, 2017	February 20, 2017	February 21, 2017	February 22, 2017	Present Day
22	22: March 14, 2017	March 14, 2017	March 14, 2017	March 16, 2017	Present Day
28	28: How Not To Cover Alex Jones			April 10, 2017	Deep Dive
40	40: May 10, 2017	May 10, 2017	May 10, 2017	May 11, 2017	Present Day
43	43: May 17, 2017	May 17, 2017	May 17, 2017	May 19, 2017	Present Day
48	48: May 31, 2017	May 31, 2017	May 31, 2017	June 1, 2017	Present Day
57	57: August 12-16, 2015	August 12, 2015	August 16, 2015	June 25, 2017	2015 Investigation
66	66: September 6-17, 2015	September 6, 2015	September 17, 2015	July 25, 2017	2015 Investigation
72	72: August 9, 2017	August 9, 2017	August 9, 2017	August 11, 2017	Present Day
78	78: October 12-15, 2015	October 12, 2015	October 15, 2015	August 30, 2017	2015 Investigation
129	129: David Rothschild Interview			February 14, 2018	InfoWars Interview
138	138: March 13-15, 2018	March 13, 2018	March 15, 2018	March 16, 2018	Present Day
139	139: St. Patrick's Day Special Report	March 17, 2018	March 17, 2018	March 19, 2018	Special Edition
143	143: March 25-31 Part 1	March 25, 2018	March 31, 2018	April 2, 2018	Present Day
144	144: March 25-31, Part 2	March 25, 2018	March 31, 2018	April 2, 2018	Present Day
145	145: April 2, 2018	April 2, 2018	April 2, 2018	April 4, 2018	Present Day
146	146: April 4, 2018	April 4, 2018	April 4, 2018	April 6, 2018	Present Day
147	147: Aaron Russo			April 9, 2018	InfoWars Interview
166	166: February 2-3, 2009	February 2, 2009	February 3, 2009	June 4, 2018	Tea Party Investigation
178	178: Rowdy Roddy Piper w/ Marty DeRosa			July 9, 2018	InfoWars Interview
226	226: November 7, 2018	November 7, 2018	November 7, 2018	November 8, 2018	Present Day
242	242: December 18-19, 2018	December 18, 2018	December 19, 2018	December 21, 2018	Present Day
244	244: October 5, 2014	October 5, 2014	October 5, 2014	December 26, 2018	Time Travel
250	250: Remote Poisoners And Crypto Bigotry			January 9, 2019	Project Camelot, Wacky Wednesday
257	257: January 25, 2019	January 25, 2019	January 25, 2019	January 28, 2019	Present Day
269	269: December 19, 2012	December 19, 2012	December 19, 2012	February 27, 2019	Sandy Hook Investigation
272	272: December 20, 2012	December 20, 2012	December 20, 2012	March 6, 2019	Sandy Hook Investigation
283	283: January 4-6, 2013	January 4, 2013	January 6, 2013	April 12, 2019	Sandy Hook Investigation
286	286: Wrestling With Disappointment			April 19, 2019	InfoWars Interview
288	288: January 7-9, 2013	January 7, 2013	January 9, 2013	April 24, 2019	Sandy Hook Investigation
294	294: January 15-16, 2013	January 15, 2013	January 16, 2013	May 10, 2019	Sandy Hook Investigation
295	295: Crossover With QAnon Anonymous			May 13, 2019	Knowledge Fight Interview, Wacky Wednesday
307	307: February 3-5, 2013	February 3, 2013	February 5, 2013	June 10, 2019	Sandy Hook Investigation
321	321: February 24-26, 2013	February 24, 2013	February 26, 2013	July 15, 2019	Sandy Hook Investigation
324	324: Bilderberg Speeches	June 9, 2013	June 6, 2013	July 26, 2019	Time Travel, Wacky Wednesday
326	326: July 26-29, 2019	July 26, 2019	July 29, 2019	July 31, 2019	Present Day
331	331: March 13-14, 2013	March 13, 2013	March 14, 2013	August 12, 2019	Sandy Hook Investigation
335	335: March 15-22, 2013	March 15, 2013	March 22, 2013	August 25, 2019	Sandy Hook Investigation
336	336: March 24-26, 2013	March 24, 2013	March 26, 2013	August 28, 2019	Sandy Hook Investigation
339	339: March 29-April 1, 2013	March 29, 2013	April 1, 2013	September 4, 2019	Sandy Hook Investigation
345	345: September 19, 2019	September 19, 2019	September 19, 2019	September 20, 2019	Present Day
347	347: September 23, 2019	September 23, 2019	September 23, 2019	September 25, 2019	Present Day
350	350: September 29-30, 2019	September 29, 2019	September 30, 2019	October 2, 2019	Present Day
358	358: October 18, 2019	October 18, 2019	October 18, 2019	October 21, 2019	Present Day
398	398: February 9-10, 2020	February 9, 2020	February 10, 2020	February 12, 2020	Present Day
410	410: March 19-20, 2020	March 19, 2020	March 20, 2020	March 23, 2020	Present Day
415	415: April 1, 2020	April 1, 2020	April 1, 2020	April 3, 2020	Present Day
417	417: April 5, 2020	April 5, 2020	April 5, 2020	April 8, 2020	Present Day
462	462: July 26, 2020	July 26, 2020	July 26, 2020	July 29, 2020	Present Day
466	466: August 5-6, 2020	August 5, 2020	August 6, 2020	August 7, 2020	Present Day
467	467: August 7-9, 2020	August 7, 2020	August 9, 2020	August 10, 2020	Present Day
547	547: April 8, 2021	April 8, 2021	April 8, 2021	April 9, 2021	Present Day
551	551: April 20-21, 2021	April 20, 2021	April 21, 2021	April 23, 2021	Present Day
557	557: May 11, 2021	May 11, 2021	May 11, 2021	May 14, 2021	Present Day
604	604: October 5, 2021	October 5, 2021	October 5, 2021	October 11, 2021	Present Day
620	620: November 23, 2021	November 23, 2021	November 23, 2021	November 26, 2021	Present Day
632	632: Christmas Message and More	December 25, 2021	December 29, 2021	December 31, 2021	Present Day
635	635: January 6-7, 2022	January 6, 2022	January 7, 2022	January 10, 2022	Present Day
660	660: February 11, 2014	February 11, 2014	February 11, 2014	March 18, 2022	Time Travel
687	687: May 24, 2022	May 24, 2022	May 24, 2022	May 30, 2022	Present Day
688	688: May 25, 2022	May 25, 2022	May 25, 2022	June 2, 2022	Present Day
690	690: May 27, 2022	May 27, 2022	May 27, 2022	June 10, 2022	Present Day
693	693: August 4, 2003	August 4, 2003	August 4, 2003	June 20, 2022	2003 Investigation
696	696: June 24, 2022	June 24, 2022	June 24, 2022	June 27, 2022	Present Day
731	731: September 29-30, 2022	September 29, 2022	September 30, 2022	October 3, 2022	Present Day
733	733: October 6, 2022	October 6, 2022	October 6, 2022	October 10, 2022	Present Day
741	741: December 2, 2015	December 2, 2015	December 2, 2015	October 28, 2022	Time Travel
755	755: Ye Takes a Sip of (Mc)Guinness			December 9, 2022	Wacky Wednesday
758	758: December 8, 2003	December 8, 2003	December 8, 2003	December 19, 2022	2003 Investigation
785	785: March 4, 2023	March 4, 2023	March 4, 2023	March 13, 2023	Present Day, InfoWars Interview
836	836: The Crowder Announcement			August 9, 2023	Present Day
896	896: February 2, 2024	February 2, 2024	February 2, 2024	February 5, 2024	Present Day
932	932: June 2-6, 2024	June 2, 2024	June 6, 2024	June 10, 2024	Present Day
933	933: June 7-11, 2024	June 7, 2024	June 11, 2024	June 14, 2024	Present Day
953	953: August 8, 2024	August 8, 2024	August 8, 2024	August 12, 2024