Transcript/927: May 14, 2015
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I have a great respect for knowledge night, knowledge night, I'm sick of them hoes, I
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have a good day, I'm sick of them hoes, I'm sick of them hoes, I'm sick of them hoes,
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and i'm Okey, okey, okey I need money, need money, need money, need money, need money,
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Andy in Kansas.
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Andy in Kansas.
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Stop it.
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Andy in Kansas.
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Andy in Kansas.
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Andy in Kansas.
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You started Brady.
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Andy in Kansas, you're on the air Oxel.
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Hello Alex,
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I am a
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great fan color orange fan.
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I love your work.
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I love you.
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I love you.
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Hey,
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everybody!
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How are you doing Baltimore?
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Hello!
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Welcome to Knowledge Fight. I'm Dan.
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I'm Jordan.
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We are a couple of dudes who like to travel around the East Coast.
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Yep.
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Sit around and talk a little bit about Alex Jones.
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Oh!
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Indeed we are Dan!
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Jordan!
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Dan!
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Jordan.
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Quick question for you.
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What's up?
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Am I putting it on too thick? No.
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What's your bright spot, buddy?
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My bright spot is...
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We're gonna ham it up. We're gonna ham it up!
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You guys came out!
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Why don't you go first? Why don't you go first?
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I have sort of a light one.
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I'm gonna tell you that my bright spot... I'm gonna require a little context because the great people of Baltimore might not understand right away.
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But my bright spot is I was not robbed last night.
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Okay.
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So that was nice. But not in a way that is insulting to the great city of Baltimore.
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I was almost not robbed last night.
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No, I went out to... because after we got back we were both exhausted.
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And I was like, I just want to go get a drink at the hotel bar.
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Well, we were coming off of a very brief flight from Boston and the Baltimore airport lost our luggage.
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We got it back. We got it back. It was just a chaotic...
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Now, that was a light robbing from Baltimore.
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Right.
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That's what we call a loose rob, you know?
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It set the stage.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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So yeah, the hotel bar was trash.
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They didn't have things which you usually require to drink.
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And so I went across the street to this little townie bar and there was only two people in there and the bartender.
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And I was wearing my headband, right?
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My headband, it's a little tie-dye headband.
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Oh, no, no, no.
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It's quite nice.
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I walk in there and she is bullying me in like a 16-year-old way.
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Like she was heavily implying the slurs that you know about gay people.
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And I was like, this is a great bar to be in right now.
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So I'm sitting there and I'm like, I still want my drink.
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I can't leave because she bullied me.
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I'm from Chicago.
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Fuck you, Baltimore.
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So we get to talking.
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She's doing this whole thing.
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And then after talking for a little bit, I make her laugh and she switches tack.
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She's like, I bet you love doing drugs.
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And I was like, all right, I'm fine with that.
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I do like doing drugs.
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You're wearing a tie-dyed bandana.
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Exactly.
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We've achieved our first step.
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Now we're on neutral footing.
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That's what I think.
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But then the questions become more and more like job interview questions.
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Like, can you lift 50 pounds?
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And I was like, ah.
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What's your greatest strength and weakness?
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I like drugs too much.
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It's both.
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I don't know why I'm giving this bartender all this information.
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And then she's like, I know like five people that got robbed just last week.
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How much are you carrying on you?
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And I was like, ah, you're a scout.
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You're a scout.
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I know you.
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So immediately after that, I was like, I'm going to have to close this out.
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I'm going to have to pay my tab.
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And I'm going to have to run away with my tail between my legs.
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But not before some random guy across the bar was like, I bet you're a Christian, aren't you?
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And that was when I left.
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I got to go, dude.
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So that's my bright spot.
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How's that story?
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It's a good story.
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That's a good story.
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Thank you.
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I like that you had a tab open.
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I had a tab open.
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I had to go, man.
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What's your bright spot, buddy?
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I guess my bright spot is that I stayed in last night.
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No, I mean, I guess I've got a couple of Baltimorean bright spots.
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And they're a little bit pedestrian.
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But we were walking around earlier today because I have a Fitbit.
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That's one pun.
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I'm trying to get my steps in.
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And I met a duck.
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We did meet ducks.
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Yep.
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I hate geese.
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They're evil.
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One attacked me as a child, and I think they're very hostile to humans.
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But ducks are cool.
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I spent, and Jordan watched me.
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He can vouch for me.
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I spent about two minutes in a crouched position staring at a duck.
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I am not a tie-dye headband wearer.
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I don't use drugs.
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I wasn't even high.
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I don't have any excuse except I was like, yeah.
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Hamming it up, buddy.
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You got a response for pulling out your tie-dye.
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They were like, take it off.
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But it wasn't on.
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It's in my pocket.
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It's in my pocket still.
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So it was kind of a bright spot, that two minutes where I was sitting there.
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I was like, this duck might come over here.
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It didn't.
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No.
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So it's kind of a little bit of a dud as a bright spot.
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So the real bright spot.
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I saw a duck.
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I was this close.
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I almost made friends with a duck.
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No, I understand.
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No, I got very excited because they inched closer to us like two or three times.
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And every time they took a step, you're like, oh, shit.
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Maybe I'm going to be best friends with a duck.
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How am I going to get this duck back to Chicago?
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Under my arm.
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Do I have to check a duck?
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According to Hedberg, ducks eat for free at Subway, my man.
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That's a reference.
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I'm still not going to Subway.
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Yeah, that's fair.
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That's not enough to entice me in.
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You know what it is, though?
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Jimmy John's has free smells.
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It's a sign that they have up at Jimmy John's.
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Free smells.
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I do not like that sign at all.
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Nope.
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Not at all.
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I don't either.
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And I was lying.
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I don't like Jimmy John's.
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We have free smells.
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Then I'm gone.
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I'm gone.
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The real bright spot for me, and this is just, I'm almost ashamed to admit it,
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but we got in and we were walking to check in.
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And we walked past an It's Sugar.
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Is that like a Baltimore thing that everybody knows about?
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No.
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I don't think so.
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I think it's a chain.
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I think there are a lot of candy shops.
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Oh, okay.
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So we're a bunch of touristy bullshit people.
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Yeah.
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All right.
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Yeah, it's touristy bullshit and it is just bulk candy.
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And I went to fucking town.
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Yep.
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I couldn't stop myself from like, ooh, here's another kind of gummy.
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Here's another kind of gummy.
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I am so excited about these weird like, oh, gummy pizza slices.
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I've never seen that before.
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Again, I don't smoke weed.
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These aren't weed gummies.
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Nope.
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This is just...
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I smoke weed all the time.
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Not interested in gummy.
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No.
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Nope.
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So I had like this moment of pure bliss of like all of these candy containers in front
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of me with tongs and bags.
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And then I had two horrifying kind of thoughts in my head.
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And one was that you were waiting outside for me.
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I was.
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I was like, if I take more than a certain amount of time, this is really sad.
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And then the other thought was, I just was like, this is a lot bigger bag than I thought
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it was going to be.
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Walking up to the counter.
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I was like, this sucks.
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I got to check out.
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Oh, God.
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That was I think the most like a couple.
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I think I've ever felt with the two of us.
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Because.
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Don't worry, honey.
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I'll stay here while you go get candy.
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No, no, no.
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It was totally like we walked by and he was like, it's innate sugar.
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And I was like, we're going to go in.
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And we were both pulling our bags, our suitcases with us.
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And I was like, you know what?
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I'll hold your suitcase.
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You go on in there.
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You have a great time.
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I'm not certain that I did this, but I felt like you may have had a feeling like when
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your dog will like wine.
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No, no.
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I feel like I might have done that instinctually when I saw that story.
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No, I just wanted to give you happiness and joy for just a brief second.
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Well, thank you.
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At the it sugar.
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It did that.
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And then I ate too much.
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Ate too much candy.
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Yep.
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Yep.
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Turns out enabling.
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Great strategy.
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So this is why I need to get even more steps in to work off these fucking gummy bears.
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So, Jordan.
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Yes, sir.
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We got a show to do today.
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Oh, shit.
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For people?
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There are these people who are in my living room.
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So they've got all these people in our living room.
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So, Jordan, today we're going to be doing a little episode.
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We're going to be talking about May 14th, 2015.
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May 14th, 2015.
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Obama is just elected president.
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What?
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What?
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No.
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Wrong year.
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Wrong year.
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Wrong year.
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Okay.
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What's going on?
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What's going on?
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What your vibe is?
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What your...
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May 15th?
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How long before this...
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Well, I said May 14th.
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May 14th.
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Psh.
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This is...
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Last night.
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Last night.
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On the Boston show.
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Yeah.
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On the Boston show, I was like, May 3rd.
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And you're like, again, I said May 4th.
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No.
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Okay.
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I'm going to...
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So when did Trump say the thing about people not from this country?
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This has nothing to do with Trump.
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Okay.
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Good.
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Yep.
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Well then...
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But that's the only thing you could...
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Yeah.
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That was all of 2015 for me.
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watching Hillary suck and Trump hate people it was a wide widely shared
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experience so Jordan here's here's where we're at here's the situation all right
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we're you and I we're both guys who have had a few beers in our day you know the
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drinks sure you love some IPAs but personally I've always been a shitty
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beer kind of guy I love the paps of the world the hams the Stroh's even
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Milwaukee's best but let me be clear I don't go in for the garbage like
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Keystone light that's not me hmm my standard has always been you have to
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have had a brewery that was founded before 1900 if you're gonna get in my
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business unless I was drunk at a house party and I was stealing the Keystone
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then I was definitely gonna drink all of it well would it surprise you Jordan to
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learn that Baltimore is home of one of if not the number one weirdest old-time
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breweries in the United States that also makes shitty beer I did not everybody
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else knows these people know I'm talking of course about National Bohemian or as
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the kids call it Natty Bo Natty Bo oh boy Natty Bo all right I'm listening so
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the National Brewing Company was founded in 1885 right here in Baltimore and
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their flagship product Natty Bo has failed to really catch on anywhere
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outside of the city oh yeah I have never heard of it I've drunk at every terrible
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bar but they most estimates put the figure at 90% of the sales of this beer
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comes from Maryland oh my god it comes from here yeah and part of the reason is
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I think that they're trying too damn hard case in point Natty Bo claims that
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they invented selling beer in a six-pack back in the 1940s I swear to God and
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tell me they never even thought of six at a time free sure everybody drank five
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but I was the one who was like add one more and you got something so this this
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seems like a preposterous thing to take credit for it does but could it be true
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good it no there's well-documented history of soft drinks being sold in
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six-packs prior to this but when you see this claim about the Natty Bo it's
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trotted out on blogs all the time they aren't sure if they actually did invent
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the six-pack okay and sorry but I'm here to tell you they didn't I was able to
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find a newspaper ad from the Montana Missoulian dated June 29th 1934
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advertising six packs of beer for 33 cents too much that brand one of my
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other old standards Schlitz aka the beer that made Milwaukee famous
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Schlitz was marketing them as the handy six back in the back in the 30s which is
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a great name so also Natty Bo has something that these other shitty beer
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companies don't have right an extra finger to touch the balls that is
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exactly right six god damn it people I'm not gonna spoon feed you it is not that
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it is that Natty Bo has a deeply upsetting mascot okay okay mr. Bo is a
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dude with a Julius Pringles ass mustache but also only has one eye he's got one
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eye and it's not like a cyclops like a pirate thing just missing his right eye
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it's just a guy missing his eye yeah all right remember earlier today we were
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outside of a bar and I pointed at the yeah yeah that's him oh shit I was like
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this is just a stupid as the roommate of a one-eyed cat this naturally triggered
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my heartstrings getting pulled on so I found myself being interested in this
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bow character I dug a little bit deeper and what I learned shocked me to my very
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core to your core yes okay did you know no obviously not I feel like I've asked
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you to absolutely not know so this mascot mr. Bo is married to another
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mass no no no no yes for a different product yes in a different universe of
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no it's in our universe okay I understand it's in our universe but it's
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not like it's not like the MCU like mashup mm-hmm on May 14th 2011 mr. Bo
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canonically married the girl from the UTS potato chips bags and they had an
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actual wedding ceremony that was actually just a commercial for a
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Baltimore right that's a pro wrestling shit is what that is or synergy just
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rocket it sure sure so we're gathered here today to celebrate the glorious
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anniversary of their union
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nattie Bo and its potato chips a marriage that has lasted the test of
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time this is their fourth anniversary because all the other ones weren't good
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sure I love I love knowing how many episodes of the show that you listen to
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to get us to here and you have to understand something this is a man who
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is like I'm not gonna let them get away with saying they invented the six-pack
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not a fucking chance I honestly would have been more thrilled if I could come
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here and said you did it but unfortunately alas I am the bearer of
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bad news mmm and I have more bad news and that is we should get started with
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the eclipse oh do we do that yeah I guess I thought we were just gonna have
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a grand old time nope but it was a delight to talk about to inform you of
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their yeah yeah I like it I like it I blew I blew a mind here today like I
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always cry at a wedding yeah you oh that's not a job I was actually just
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telling you a true thing I really do I find them you would have cried at this
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one because you would have been wasted on shitty beer that's true rub your
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fingers with salt from everybody would be like this guy he really is feeling it
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he feels the love so we're gonna start here where Alex starts off and it's a
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very exciting beginning to this episode here on May 14th 2015
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Boston Globe he's going to be joining us in studio today I don't have time to do
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an interview after the show or before the show and we've got Al Jazeera flying
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to town to interview me I'm on Alan Cum's radio show all that said cuz I'm
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so afraid to be interviewed with that whole stunt ABC this week pulled that is
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still in newspapers every day it's just Alex Jones won't defend himself on Jade
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Helm the coward the coward so he's gonna have this guy on to do an interview on
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the show all right like a real journalist from the Boston Globe yep
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that's right Matt visor Matt visor I very I was very close to
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trying to reach out to him yeah but I was like I don't want to bother absolutely
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not just cuz his name rhymes with Budweiser is not a reason to come on I
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can't rhyme with bow that he buy drink natty bow yeah there's there's no my
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brain's going slow no non-misogynist way to go with that one so in March 2015
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Alex started spreading fear about a government takeover that was coming
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under the guise of a training exercise called Jade Helm 15 this was an
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eight-week long set of exercise that was set to take place across multiple states
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primarily in Texas and the Southwest Rockies region because as the army
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special operations press release put it these states contained quote diverse
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terrain that replicates areas special operation soldiers regularly find
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themselves operating in right overseas right as soon as Alex heard about this
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planned exercise he began fear-mongering about it and here is a little discussion
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of his horrors the these issues here what are they gonna do right this is
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from March 19th of this year okay they admit they're gonna be engaging in shy
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op and military takeover domestically this is in preparation for the financial
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collapse and and maybe even Obama not leaving office I mean I'm telling you
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this is so huge there will be 1,200 service members participating in
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Operation Jade Helm it says increase military presence increase aircraft in
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the area at night you may receive they may receive noise complaints some
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individuals may conduct suspicious activities designed to prepare them for
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complex environment overseas did you hear that they're gonna practice breaking
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into things and stuff practice breaking into shit so that other voice you hear
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there is none other than Rambo Joe big who is currently serving a 17-year jail
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sentence for committing seditious conspiracy for his role on January 6
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just to be clear just to be clear this is a guy having a conversation about how
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terrible it would be if the president refused to leave office a little ironic
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hmm so Biggs was very intertwined with the conspiracy narratives Alex sold
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about Jade Helm because it was a military story and Biggs was a veteran
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so that gave him built-in credibility sure the coverage of Jade Helm was
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obsessive on Infowars at the end of March and all through April because it
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was the hottest topic in the online conspiracy world in no small part
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because Alex was feeding the coverage himself the end goal of the exercise was
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anything you could imagine one day it was to normalize military on the streets
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the next it was maybe a plan to prepare the u.s. to be invaded and then what do
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you know it's actually about prepping FEMA camps to round up all of Alex's
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buddies and right in there right by this point in the episode we're listening to
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when it takes place we're a good month and a half to Alex it covering Jade Helm
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at this point things got worse on April 28th when Texas Governor Greg Abbott
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wrote a letter that seemed to validate the conspiracy narratives about Jade
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Helm in his letter he said that he was gonna have the Texas Guard keep tabs on
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exercises to make sure that Texans didn't have their rights infringed which
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was a thing that wasn't gonna happen anyway right right so he was basically
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saying I think the military is gonna break into people's homes and then
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violate the Third Amendment well we at least we have to make sure they don't
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right right right because if you have to quarter a soldier I mean it's all over
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for America mm-hmm now yeah this led to a wide array of responses the
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conspiracy-patriotic media like Alex took this thing from Abbott as a
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validation that their concerns were rational and it emboldened them further
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former Texas State Representative Todd Smith accused Abbott of quote pandering
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to idiots the major effect of this though was that media entities took a
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greater interest in what was fueling this story and one of the influences you
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will obviously find is Alex Jones yeah which is why you might have been seeing
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an increase in interview requests in mid-may one of the issues with Alex and
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Jade Helm is that he was all over the place on it you know he was saying that
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he was gonna bring in foreign troops other times he was saying it was gonna
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happen every year so the public was desensitized his messaging was
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inconsistent and unclear so it makes sense that people would want to
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interview him like bro right what are you talking about what what exactly are
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you trying to say yeah what am I supposed to be scared of exactly are you
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are you saying that I need to be afraid of French soldiers we oh shit
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Ben sir ah fuck the Boston Globes gotta get on this this is where my limited
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French really worked it enough potential means a little never mind it
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didn't work enough so it's really funny that Alex is gonna have the Boston
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Globes mad visor come and interview him as a part of the show but you might
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notice that he's also in that first clip he was a bit mad about ABC News sure so
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what happened there is classic Alex the previous Sunday Alex was scheduled to be
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a part of a panel on this week on ABC to talk about these Jade Helm theories
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however he did not show up Martha Raddatz the host of the show pointed out
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the no-show which prompted Alex to accuse a ABC of engaging in dirty tricks
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apparently ABC was supposed to send a car to take him to a remote studio but
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they showed up a mere 12 minutes before the interview was supposed to begin an
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ABC spokesperson said of the claim quote that's completely false they told
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media I quote the car had been at Jones's apartment an hour ahead of time
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Jones did not respond to phone calls and the network went so far as to having the
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building security knock on his door to no answer seeking to cast more shade on
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ABC News Alex alleged that they'd been in talks to do a live interview but at
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the last moment they tried to force him to do a pre tape which was also flatly
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denied by their spokesperson quote we were always going to do a live remote
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right right all right I'm not totally sure what happened here because Alex has
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no problem going on shows where he can't really defend his points and just using
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it as an opportunity to yell infowars.com a bunch before they cut his mic
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yeah I don't know why he wouldn't do that here so I kind of think he
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overslept you think it's that yeah I think I think he just fucked up
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overslept and now he's like I think he was afraid he was gonna eat George
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Stephanopoulos it's a small enough to be edible and maybe society collapsed 15
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days before so it's time to eat people I feel like Alex eating Stephanopoulos is
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something a fear we all share yeah to quote the Beastie Boys watch out
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Stephanopoulos you taste good with Budweiser so Alex is mad at the media
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he's mad at he's having mad visor on but he's mad at ABC sure it turns out he's
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also mad at Fox's the five the show the five and now one of the Fox News the
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five guys says no we're not gonna have you on via tweets in fact I've got Joe
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Biggs printing them off right now he's gonna come in and talk about it cuz Joe's
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been tweeting back and forth with a staff reporter Joe Biggs the former
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Staff Sergeant Joe Biggs now this particular Fox News five host wants to
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meet me at the corner of some street in New York City or a fistfight you know
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that was the joke about us getting in the ring dumbass but if you really want
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to that's fine but I do it legally and lawfully wherever they allow bare
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knuckles boxing okay we can like the fly to some third-world country and have
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pay-per-view I think we probably make about ten million dollars apiece but
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you're too stupid to want to actually do that you want to dance to the puppeteers
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the orders there at Fox News and make crap up and I don't mean to diverse and
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and and to diverge off into side issues and I apologize side issues yeah like
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taking a man to Venezuelan beating him up in bare-knuckle boxing yeah yeah
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this is what happens when you eat George Stephanopoulos uh-huh he takes over your
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body and wants to fight yeah so what happened here is that Eric
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Bowling one of the hosts of foxes the five had made fun of Alex not showing up
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for that ABC appearance and I guess that he and Joe Biggs then got into a Twitter
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fight he overslept okay he was trying to save face they set him up so just the
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day before this Alex was playing clips of them joking about him on foxes the
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five and was more or less he was just begging them to book him right right I'll
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even take you all fly to New York I'll take you out to dinner come on please
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please put me on your show yeah it's kind of tough to believe that he has the
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time to fly to New York to or even you know to do a bare-knuckle boxing match
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with this guy but they just he's so crunched for time that he's got to do
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this interview on air yeah else it's just we have no time we don't have time
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it is impossible absolutely so he's mad yeah he's mad not at the crew though no
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no just the media just the media but mad visor will be here shortly and everything
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will be fine for sure but Matt visor will be in studio first he said oh my
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editors won't let me interview live and I said fine we can't do it so now he
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should get here in a few minutes we'll see if that happens and then they can
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interview me about imaginary jade helm according to them coming up and like I
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told ABC News Fox News everybody I stand ready anytime live they've got scores of
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satellite uplinks downtown Austin I'm a hundred and ten percent ready to face
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you anytime anywhere any place any time but advisor is coming on but through a
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camera what I'll face you anytime anywhere anyplace like link yeah yeah
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I'll come get you through my computer right I don't want to accidentally eat
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you Joe Biggs will tweet at you yeah yeah though I saw some of the tweets
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they were not they were not friendly hmm yeah which makes sense you know they're
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talking about fighting words well meet you on the corner of somewhere New York
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City corner is something famous corners where you fight so you excited for this
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advisor interview I mean okay so I first at first I didn't understand quite
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because I thought that Alex was going to interview him yeah on the show not
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really now if I understand this correctly the guy from the Boston Globe
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is coming to give Alex an interview for the newspaper you bet all right and then
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Alex is like I don't have time for this shit let's do it on air yes you have
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understood the scenario entirely can you do that I guess I mean you can ask okay
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I'm going to take a shit the entire time during this interview whatever you
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would there's whatever I'm doing yeah okay so this goes about as predictably as it
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could you think at this point we should all be pretty clear what's about to
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happen we are not going to let you play your sneaky underhanded tricks anymore
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you back-biting crew of scallywax that's just how this works we're done with you
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we know you're not media you're propagandist and we are not backing down
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we are not standing down we are not going away now weeks ago we're having
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such victories against Monsanto I had the Nico start working on hey Alex I
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hate to interrupt I just got a text from him he said mr. visor said another
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editor was leery of this interview to go on the air so he's backing out now
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they'll say I backed out though yeah now they're gonna say he backed out now
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they're gonna say it was me who backed out but we got it on the radio so this
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is a real bust mad visor has canceled sure sure so the interview apparently
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isn't happening and Alex is immediately defensive you're gonna hear they're
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gonna say I canceled right but guess what mad visor did end up publishing an
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article in the Boston Globe but instead of it being about Alex's take on Jade
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Helm it was about his unsuccessful attempt to interview Alex okay is it
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expose yeah the reasons for backing out of an interview were totally clear for
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Matt for one it would center the story around himself which wasn't the intended
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goal and secondly the interview would be aired on Alex's show immediately which
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kind of makes the delayed print a little superfluous as he put it the quote the
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trade-off didn't seem worth it now if you read visors article you learn that
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he was interested in Jade Helm conspiracies just like a lot of people
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in the media after they started to bubble up from the underground he knew
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that Alex was the font of most of it so he decided just to head out to Texas
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from his article quote in the days before leaving for Austin I put in
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requests to interview Jones I put in more requests once I was there over
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nearly a week like a spurned suitor I emailed I called I texted silence he got
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nowhere but decided to show up at the in for studio since the address wasn't a
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secret even back then he found the building boring and basically decided
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that that was a dead end he was just gonna go back to Boston I would agree we
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found that building boring too yep yep no snipers on the roof is not a single
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sniper no disappointing disappointing but then on May 13th at 956 p.m. the
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night before this episode sure Rob do emailed him back and said quote you can
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interview him on the show interested you up I've had a few drinks you want to be
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on the show so Pfizer immediately thought this was a bad idea and
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counter-offered to that he interview Alex in between segments from his
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article quote by the next morning do said the only way Jones would meet me in
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person would be if I came on the live show another option he said would be to
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have Jones call me on the phone that afternoon when the show ended sure
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Pfizer agreed to come on the show because he wanted to see Alex in the
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natural environment but then immediately had editors tell him this is a terrible
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idea yeah quote within 15 minutes I messaged you back saying I wouldn't
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appear live but would still like to do a phone interview he agreed saying he
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would send me Jones a cell phone number after the show so could you imagine
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Pfizer's surprise when he tuned into infowars that day and heard Alex claim
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that he was gonna be a guest on the show wait wait so then oh my god they set
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this whole thing up you best Christ I feel like the dumbest so he was sitting
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in his car baffled as quote to do went on air and pretended as if the text
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message which he had acknowledged receiving 30 minutes earlier had just
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arrived this is not 30 minutes into the show unsurprisingly quote when I
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attempted to reach Jones that afternoon at the time they had previously said he
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would be available my messages went back to being unreturned sure sure yep this
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whole thing was a charade yeah it's all a hoax
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fun they knew they probably knew when they went on air that he wasn't coming
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on see now I like that I like that because that suggests the two of them
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had a little talk before the show and they were like how are we gonna do this
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we can't just say that the Boston Globe guy rightfully decided not to do this
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dumb shit that we were gonna trick him into doing in the first place right
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right put him on trial right so we could just say now he's not gonna be here or
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we could just not talk about him at all no cuz Alex is so mad about everybody
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thinking he didn't want to go on ABC right right he's got that sort of you
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know yeah so then they come up with this whole charade yep which means that at
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some point they were sitting here just going like like oh my god what do we do
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hmm what do we do do we pretend he's coming on and then you can come on and
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say you just got a text and then I will immediately say now they're gonna say I
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do it's too afraid I'll be defensive about it and then we win I think that's
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a great idea yeah I think that's a great idea you have got some great ideas oh my
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god that's such a good idea yeah well let's do it twice
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text visor back you up also do you have more coke did you get that good Boston
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shit yeah so Alex is hurt he's hurt by this and he's like fuck this sure only
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big interviews from now on we need to only go with the big interviews because
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we have to do this dance while these reporters all their little neurotic you
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know OCD editors BS so I just said they probably wouldn't show up that's good
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we're done so I don't have time to talk to him now we've already talked to him
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last night this morning on through all these gesticulations I told him I do a
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phone interview with him today when I'm in traffic driving home to pick my kids
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up but that's it we're done talking to him
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they want to have a stand-up fight we'll have it but we're not gonna play patty
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cake that sounds really cool if you didn't know that the whole beginning
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part was yeah yeah we're done with all these people so long as they text us in
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advance to let us know they won't come on the show yeah advanced warnings nice
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sure none of these tiny outlets like the Boston Globe waste no no we're gonna do
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a patriot guns in your balls comm interviews from now on only that only
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dick wadmick I'm gonna fight you is gonna interview me from here on out only
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unscrupulous blogs that do whatever I want so he's he's pretty mad about the
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media in general he was mad when he thought visor was coming on sure he's
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only more mad now yes is this has only gotten worse and so he decides that what
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he's gonna do is like my advisors not coming no but I'm still gonna like prove
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Jade Helm like for all the media out there who's yeah yeah just because he's
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not there in front of me doesn't mean I don't have a job to do which is prove
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that soldiers are gonna break into random people's houses across a few
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states in the middle of nowhere and they're gonna be French and they're
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gonna be French the most terrifying the soldiers have all so what I think
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happened is maybe when Alex thought that Matt visor was coming on he prepared a
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little bit of stuff to be like what about this sure sure sure sure I think
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he did a little bit of that and then my advisor is not coming on so Alex just
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decided I mean I can't waste it it's in the stackies speaking of which yeah very
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dark moment for me oh no I was at a Walgreens and I held a 450 sheet pack of
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paper in my hand I was like I'm gonna bring this as props
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it's fake paper that I sure sure sure I like I don't think I could trust myself
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to recycle all of that that's why I decided not not because it would look
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insane you know when you do the math on that it's like is the bit worth the
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waste hmm you know hmm and the answer is yes I think I think it's a maybe but
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it's also talking about being at the Walgreens holding the paper right see
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the problem second the problem is you needed to take it to the Nkinko's and
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have them print out stackies on every single sheet of paper huh just one over
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and over and over again and then the last one says makes Jack a dull boy too
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much stackies no play yeah so let's let's dive in here um the basic
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framework is that Alex has a new video that is of out like just absolute
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tyranny right um and he starts talking about other stuff tyranny instead of
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that one clip he's talking about other stuff sure and it's not that I'm mad
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that you're trying to say I'm a coward I'm mad at your lives so this week
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better have me on she don't really want rage you know they get more rage they
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just pulled a stunt to act like they tried to have you know everybody's like
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why don't you have him on so they got to act like I won't come on see this is
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their whole culture meanwhile info wars calm alarming video footage from US
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Marines training drill which took place in Arizona last month shows armed troops
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chasing down unruly citizens inside a mock internment camp all role players
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camp for food and water now before we get to that let's play from a month
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ago right around the same time in California next door the Army National
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Guard training to take on sovereign citizens and when the sovereign citizen
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says I have rights I'm a sovereign citizen that's when they attack with
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their baton ah that clip then we'll play the new clip but if you're a radio
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listener you got to see this footage info wars calm forward slash show we're
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streaming it live but let's go to the previous clip here it is and we've got
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the moment we've got other compelling it we've got very clear what was going on
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before the hours for the Patriots for the veterans it's for the
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constitutionalist should I play all those again and show you 25 articles I
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got a whole stack of mainstream news right here I had him reprint them when
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the media guy came in waste the Boston Globe was a here here here's here's
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dozens of mainstream articles admitting they're training to fight the American
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people and gun owners here here here this is for the Boston Globe but see
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their editors don't want me to show you the man behind the curtain they don't
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want me to go fear here's the proof jackass here it is right here they want
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to just go liar hates the military racist Boston bomber I mean you know
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wait what it just doesn't work anymore there's a massive gear up for martial
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law so that Alex is a little bit upset that some people are saying that
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Tamerlan Zarnav one of the Boston Bombers was a fan of info Wars oh sure
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just because all the terrorists like me just because he was sure sure remember
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exactly the relative but like one of his relatives like his sister-in-law or
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something it's like he's getting really into info Wars and the protocols of the
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elders of Zion like oh wow what a shock those two yeah that's no good so you
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like that clip I was wondering what exactly so first off I have a question
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yeah as the National Guard known for batons yes yep are they uh-huh I don't
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know anything about the National Guard but I always thought it was like so
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really raise are known for piano wire right right and the National Guard have
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their like so it suddenly occurred to me I was like wait I'm suddenly seeing like
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the the 1950s British police with their dumb helmet hats on just like trying to
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beat up Benny Hill or whatever it is imagine said they're American National
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Guardsmen imagine if that was the video Alex wanted to show my advisor what now
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Boston Globe so that clip that we just heard Jordan that was a blending of the
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two main stories from this episode today Alex is bad that people think he's too
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chicken to go on ABC News and there's a military training drill drill that he's
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insisting is about bringing in this martial law mm-hmm so I find it really
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interesting that he's talking about like the main story is a video out of Arizona
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but instead of covering that well he plays a different older video from a
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different state the reason he does this is because the new footage is not that
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good it shows people in military uniforms their their training for
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detention methods but that doesn't mean they're training to detain US citizens
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necessarily you can possibly be opposed to that kind of a training thing but if
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you peel the layers of that onion back defending that position eventually leads
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you to needing to support disbanding the military and I don't think Alex wants
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that doubtful if they're gonna be serving in these kinds of roles then
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they need to train and that's often gonna be using people as actors in these
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scenarios yeah so Alex plays this other video from California so the audience
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will see any footage that they see subsequently through the prism of that
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video in that video the person does say that they're a sovereign citizen which
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you might have heard in the jar bold shit which is Alex he's he's using it to
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imply that they're US citizens who the military is training right right but
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this introduces two problems first there are sovereign citizens in other
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countries and more importantly sovereign citizens they don't think they're US
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citizens I was gonna say you can't be both a US citizen and also not believe
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the United States government exists right right by demanding they be treated
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like US citizens Alex is contradicting sovereign beliefs many of which he holds
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himself but pretends he doesn't right so that video that he's playing from
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California has a watermark on it that I was able to track down from a website
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called courage sewers calm I'm sorry yeah like sowing seeds I think okay my
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guess anyway all right so it's SOW yes all right so it could just be stitch it
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could be courageous pigs it could be yeah there we go all right whether it is
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or not it's a pseudo hippie type blog who is created by a couple who love to
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can things I'm sorry what yeah they got a lot of information about cannon so so
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the place is called courage sewers dot-com dot-com and it's more about like
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the joy of canning your own tomatoes and pickles yeah yeah okay I prefer that
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sovereign citizen belief system I'm not sure their position on sovereign
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citizenship but they do believe it should be legal to camp okay can you
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imagine all of the imagine all of those videos where some dude in like 2014 was
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going through a police checkpoint with his phone right here just going like oh
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I could totally drive through here without lowering my window all the way
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because these cans are delicious that would be nice it would give a little better layer to the more fun so these courage
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sewer folks they have a YouTube channel which hosts eight videos one of which is
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a video titled Richmond California dirty bomb drill 2015 okay the full clip is
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longer than what Alex plays but all he needs is that person saying I'm a
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sovereign citizen it may be worth noting that two of the participants in this
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drill appear to be in police uniforms and the person claiming to be a
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sovereign citizen is wearing a Vans shirt and is very clearly improvising
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it's actually Jason Lee
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2015 he had to get something going if this was a harsh rebrand because he had
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taken off the mustache so I did another point a couple people call the military
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folks who were doing the training racists and everybody laughs after this
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dude says he's a sovereign citizen people chuckle if you watch the fuller
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version of it this guy is just like Hammond he's having a great time he's
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he's having a great time and dicking around he had he had dreams at one point
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and they were never gonna come true so this was his shot the local theater of
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he's gotten a lot more exposure out of this and maybe he realizes thanks to
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courage sewers and a bunch of weirdos in the right way and now you know about it
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right congratulations yeah we all do so it's my assessment that this was a
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situation where the California Army National Guard was running a drill for
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crowd control in the case of a dirty bomb and the people who were role
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playing as the crowd were not given very specific instructions I don't actually
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know what a dirty bomb is other than a thing that will explode and then make
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you feel real bad it's filthy it's gross this bomb it's other people spit right
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in the bomb it like explodes and then it's like it drips on the forehead right
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been spit oh god it sucks dirty yeah the little bubbles yeah exactly thank you
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for confirming that feeling so this crowd that is like in this exercise or
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they're a disorganized mess and the guy who says that they're sovereign citizen
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if you watch this which I don't I don't know if you need to but if you do you
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can tell he yearns for the stage like it's very very obvious that's why Alex
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cuts that so short because that's all you really need you watch more of it
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you're like look at this asshole his next words are shall I suffer the slings
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and arrows of being a sovereign citizen come on so also it's important to point
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out no one is getting detained or even attacked with clubs in the footage that
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Alex plays these soldiers are just forming and holding a line that's all
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sure sure and then it's clipped in you can find pictures and details about this
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training exercise and it involves so much more than this little crowd control
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drill there were people in hazmat suits all kinds of triage and even some
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friendly bomb robots all right yeah it was cool the only thing that matters is
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the way did you say friendly bomb robots I might be making that part up I can't
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confirm with the friend I just I just like the idea of unfriendly bomb robots
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shitty alright I guess we're gonna send in the asshole bomb robot I don't know
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if anybody's gonna survive how was your weekend like I care
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robots a dick I don't even fucking like these people guy hit me with a baton the
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other day so the only thing that matters for Alex here is the optics of this one
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dumb-dumb improvising a line about being a sovereign citizen and how that proves
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that this whole thing was about training to round up all of his buddies it's
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ridiculous but it's the framing that he needs to portray Eve every military
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training exercises secretly attack on himself and his compatriots and all his
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friends and I hope that mad visor would have laughed at him that would have been
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fun yeah would have been it would have been more fun just because like it was
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clear from visors vibes er yeah I'm taking that one and I'm going home no
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no is clear that whenever he finally did get the email he was not thinking
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clearly because he'd been he'd been stalking them for such a long time so he
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got the email he's like oh I'm gonna do it I'm gonna go on your show but I'm
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gonna do it and then and then an editor was like you're just desperate man you
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just gotta stop doing this yeah yeah that would've been a nightmare for him
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oh yeah no idea what he missed just like Alex yelling at him about various
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improvisers it drills coked out Rob do sitting on the side watching I'll get
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him get him get him oh shit we're invaded by the groundlings say not
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terribly in soon a part Arabian huh all right come on that also that's that who
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is also that's also in French the sound is okay universal yeah it's a cognate
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it's a cognate so Alex spends quite a bit of time talking about how he's
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actually right about all this Jade Helm stuff and it's all bit nonsensical and
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then Joe Biggs Rambo Joe Biggs comes in and he has a little bit of an
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irresponsible report what tell folks the information you've been documenting so
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yesterday I'd say around 6 p.m. our time central time I got a an email from an
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oathkeeper that I know saying that hey man this guy just came to me with some
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really scary information I'm gonna take screenshots of this stuff send it to you
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so he sends me this you know email and I'm looking I'm like there's no way this
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can be true what I'm reading right now we've got to vet this guy can you get
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him in contact with me and tell him I need a copy of his military ID so I can
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at least get that part going so I can make sure this guy is who he is he tells
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me what his MOS is it's a 15 Sierra that's a OH 58 repair sounds legit I
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would helicopter that we use in Iraq and Afghanistan it's a little small bird we
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call them little birds just holds two guys and he gets me the ID to him like
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alright and I asked him a few questions seems legit and what he's telling me is
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that he is so freaked out because what they're doing he said they were loading
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live ammunition on these Kiowa helicopters and these are going to be
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specifically used for Jade helm and they're already loaded yes and like I
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said I didn't go to the sky I didn't keep this person out this person reached
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out and I was put in contact with them and I'm currently vetting and trying to
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find out more information if I can get some pictures and video and they're
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already loaded I feel like this baby is a story that you should take the time to
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vet before you get on air tell people that they're putting live ammunition and
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helicopters to shoot citizens I do appreciate that we see two examples of
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journalism simultaneously you know you've got you got visor who has
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editors mm-hmm and they're like don't do that right and then he does that right
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he doesn't do it mm-hmm but then you got Joe Biggs who's like some do just texted
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me this thing it's probably true I'm looking into it but I'm probably not
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let's do it a friend of a friend told me they're putting live ammunition and
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helicopters to fuck with people that's severe if imagine can you imagine how
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long the show would be if every time Joe Biggs was like I don't think this is
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true he ended the sentence oh man he's just like I don't think this is
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true the end and then they don't continue on reporting it we got so much
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time to fill my eyes are cancelled makeup gossip
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visor sucks fuck that guy it's very close to asking him to be a guest yeah
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just like what was that like when Alex said no so Alex gets into a bit of a
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heady mood after this irresponsible ass coverage that'll happen he starts
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talking about the individual and the collector oh no you might learn a few
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things I'm expecting to I think you will this is very educational all right I'm
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an individual when you become a real individual you then understand the
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collective they try to bring a collective that you submit to and give
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up your individualism no we as individuals gravitate to what what's the
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core of the human spirit the human drive and then we collectively radiate those
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ideas and actions and sorry build a harmonistic collective but the
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collective comes out of the individual what not out of the collect and that's
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why own philosophy and own ideas but I know it's true and so I am the planet I
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am the people you are the people we are we are this species and we have to
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decide that we care about everybody but that doesn't mean then being told oh do
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this to show you're moral you've got to go do research to really follow the
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right path to really help people you can't just give away your free will to
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the false corporate collective that it tells you is moral what I'm ranting now
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briefly we're running two specials right now powerful concentrated herbs we have
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in full words life calm female vitality cool cool oh my god that's a lot of fun
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okay so the individual is the collective and is the species we are the species
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and the individual is the planet yes but also you shouldn't be the collective
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even though you are the collective be the speed what what I don't know man do
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you want some pills I'm telling you man Rob do had some great ideas be the
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collective but also the individual man be the collective but also the individual
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where's visor at it'd be so funny if all the clips that I didn't play were just
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Alex being like Rob do is really smart rocky is really really smart so that was
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I always love it when he's getting all esoteric and kind of like philosophical
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and then it just goes straight into a yeah and that made me think maybe it's
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time for a commercial okay so here is a little god yes piece of one of Alex's
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commercials from 2015 okay communist China freely allows the sale of
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bulletproof armor plates while our u.s. politicians argue from banning
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Americans from owning body armor does that sound right to you arm your
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American body at infidel body armor dot messaging is strange feels threatening
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even though it's a defensive product infidel body armor uh-huh seems to have
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a purpose in mind hmm before you even begin and a target for somehow defensive
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weaponry it is it is strange yeah yeah this bulletproof vest is only for
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Muslims it does not protect against sovereign citizen bullets uh-huh what
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about people who are role-playing as sovereign citizens that's dangerous
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depends on what their real religion is hmm everyone stops absorbs what just
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happened and is ready to move on gotcha you're all right not us I'm with you so
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the beginning of this show I would say a great deal of it is this fake Matt
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visor drama Alex is mad about ABC people saying that he canceled eating cancel
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baby and then like thinking he's going to be able to prove his point about Jade
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Helm and what have you Joe Biggs you know spreading some shit sure so that's
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kind of the first chunk and then the rest of it is a lot of GMO nonsense okay
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it is oh that's right cuz he brought up Monsanto or did yeah okay did that make
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sense which I'm no fan of no like Monsanto sure yeah still think Alex is
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wrong about a lot of stuff but you know Monsanto is not cool maybe I don't know
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is this a Monsanto crowd this is everybody in Baltimore depends on oh
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and natural bohemian to survive okay there's corn that only grows once and
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then there's beer that kills you those are the only two things you get here so
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the two years two guests on to talk about GMO stuff and one of them is a guy
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named Jeffrey Smith and I'm just gonna play a little clip of their interview
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because I thought it was mostly very boring but there's a vibe that you get
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that I thought was really interesting okay we've tracked in the epidemiological
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trends what is related to the increase of GMOs or what's related to increase
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of Roundup the list of diseases is astonishing that's from stroke that's
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from senile dementia that's from obesity that's from high blood pressure that's
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from it by the way we see all that going up I mean every week I hear about some
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25 year old woman or 30 year old guy who just dies of a stroke it's just crazy
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so the whole vibe that I get listening to this is just like oh you guys haven't
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figured out the COVID vaccine yet no you haven't gotten there yet yeah it's all
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the same stuff but it's about GMO and glyphosate it's all the like exact same
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narrative yeah and that same stuff being pitched I mean it would have made more
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sense if we injected ourselves with Roundup during COVID hmm then I've been
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like yeah yeah yeah this guy's on to something don't do that right yeah it's
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bad for you that may be bad that's probably poisons yeah yeah so like you
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can even hear like Alex being like there's 20 year old people having
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strokes that never happened before sure sure exactly the same like the same
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talking point kids playing soccer that just die of a heart attack just like
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that mm-hmm yeah gotcha yeah it's just it's very strange you just see these
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these mirrors these echoes through time that's like ah you're doing the same
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shit it's dark yeah it is it's a little bit of a bummer yeah in a way definitely
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won't be sad ten years from now when we're doing the exact same thing yeah
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god I hope not oh but if we do we'll be right back here in Baltimore drinking
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Natty Bo stealing the UTS mascot and the wife mm-hmm mm-hmm so Alex has another
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guest about the GMOs there's a guy named Percy Schmeiser what Percy Schmeiser
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ah just like the Beastie Boys say uh-huh I drink Budweiser Percy Schmeiser
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that's good okay here's here's the introduction okay and Percy Schmeiser is
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again a farmer from Bruno Saskatchewan Canada I interviewed him when it was
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literally first in the news I'm proud of that fact now he specializes in breeding
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and growing canola he creates his own amazing seed line they didn't like that
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that's who they target they bought up the original seed line see it's a
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monopoly he became an international symbol and spokesman for independent
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farmers rights and the regulation of transgenic crops during his protracted
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legal battle with multinational agricultural company Monsanto he was a
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subject of the 2009 David vs. Monsanto film Schmeiser served as mayor of Bruno
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from 66 to 83 and his town councillor since 2003 and currently serves as the
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deputy mayor wait what in 2000 he received the honey pronounced that
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Matthew Oh Mahatma Gandhi award
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pretty cool pretty cool I understand if you're talking about it like it's a word
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you've read and you've never heard said out loud before right but if you don't
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know how to pronounce Mahatma Gandhi huh I think you're telling us a lot more
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than just I have not read that name recently right right who so Ben Kingsley
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so Percy Schmeiser is a farmer from Canada who had Monsanto canola seeds
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find their way onto his land back in 1997 uh-huh this led to Monsanto suing
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him and what can only be described as a cascade of negative PR for Monsanto
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which to be fair they probably deserved yeah to beat fuck them to be totally
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clear Monsanto didn't sue him because some of their canola was accidentally
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seeded onto his property after he discovered that herbicide resistant
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canola was there he separately harvested that for seed and replanted it the next
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season so widely that his 1,000 acre crop was 95 to 98 percent from that seed
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which is what Monsanto ended up suing him over and keeping of this it's still
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kind of bullshit wait wait so if I understand correctly what else could
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they sue you over if it just finds its way onto your land and you're like this
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helps if it was just like blown on and a little bit I don't think they could sue
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him I think I think they probably they wouldn't have been able to it's I think
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it's still bullshit though yeah people often oversimplify it like
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just a few seeds got on there and then he took it to Monsanto and he's like I'm
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gonna I'm gonna get your free shit we're gonna get you shit for free I like it
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I'll take that and then you got sued for taking there is that the case made it
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all the way the Canadian Supreme Court who decided that Monsanto they do oh my
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god you're gonna find out the hard way we get to Toronto so they the court that
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you do not do not acknowledge the Canadian Supreme Court's you're a
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sovereign citizen but only in Canada so they decided that Monsanto had a valid
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patent for the gene that made their canola herbicide resistant but they also
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found that Schmeiser didn't have to pay them anything because there was no
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evidence that he made additional profit by using the seeds that contained the
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patented gene so in the end the court kind of ruled against him on all the
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issues but he was personally fine he can just go just to let everybody know we
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have wasted everybody's time for years waste of everybody's time but guess what
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a lot of lawyers got paid maybe so after this he became a folk hero the anti GMO
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folks and in 2022 there was a movie made about him called Percy where he's played
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by Christopher Walken there's not enough guys there's not enough guys but he did
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later star in Percy Jackson as Schmeiser the yeah so this movie about the guy
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yeah it was directed by Clark Johnson who played Gus the newspaper editor in
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season 5 of the wire which I'm contractually obligated to bring up once
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while we're on this tour yep so that was where I got it in yeah we have been told
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by no fewer than four people about either the wire or how great crime is
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here the cab driver that it's low I mean that you guys are fucking great at it so
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Percy did win the Mahatma Gandhi award as Alex points out sure but Alex is kind
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of wrong that's not given out by the Gandhi family I would not be surprised
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if that was the case it's awarded by the Gandhi global family which is an NGO
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that works with the UN sure Alex should definitely not be you should not like
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them that much it'd be kind of weird if the Gandhi family specifically gave out
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awards mmm just like randomly you remind me of Mahatma you got one you you kept
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going when Monsanto sued you good job reminds me of a thing mm-hmm
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so I didn't think this interview was all that interesting either honestly and
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part of the reason is Percy seems kind of just like a nice old man who's a
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farmer and Alex does Alex that's about as good as he's gonna get and so this
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dynamic I thought was really well embodied by this clip where Percy is
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talking about like Monsanto telling him like no one stands up to us yeah yeah
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and then you'll hear how serious Alex is as a person and coming out the door of
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the Assembly of the South African Parliament
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Monsanto's reps ran into it my wife and myself and he shook his fist in our face
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and said no one no one ever stands up to Monsanto we're going to get both of you
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somehow someday and we're going to destroy you so you can imagine the
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pressure that we have had on us at a time this went to the Supreme Court of
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Canada there Percy we're gonna give you the floor in a long 18-minute segment
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coming up it sounds like but bored we will assimilate you resistance is
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futile submit to Cybertron submit to Megatron hand yourselves over GMO no one
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will be spare on the March the Empire's on the run hell yeah oh my god
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Percy's talking about like we went all the way to the Supreme Court it's up
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for Monsanto said no one stands up to us and I fought the good fight like where
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you're going but I want to explain it to my audience it's like Star Trek it's the
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Borg they're coming for you and I'm so good at voices here is the board people
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people I am the Borg it's not really an episode of Alex doesn't do a voice yeah
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I think yeah I think at this point yeah I think you're right huh yeah so it's
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kind of a bummer you know like the the whole rest of this episode is like I
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don't care yeah yeah I mean it's cool that the guy like one sort of win well
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he lost but he was into one on the issues but one in terms of I don't owe
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Monsanto a shitload of money what a weird world yeah yeah yeah that's a
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push right like how do you go to court and just get a push it's like yeah we
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tied yeah what that's Canada you tie here what yeah Canada you tie in court
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we went to the Supreme Court like why did we do this come on the verdict was
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whoops the verdict in Canada Supreme Court is we kind of want to make
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everybody happy yeah that is sure I did read the court case yeah the Supreme
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Court yeah brief that ended up from this case and it does end with I'm sorry we
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apologize for the inconvenience yeah so I didn't there's nothing else from the
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episode to go over sure but I do have one more clip for you all and that is
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because there's another commercial whoo and this commercial contains a song that
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has plagued me forever oh my god I'm so excited it is a company that has
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sponsored his show over years so I've heard this commercial can't even count
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how many times sure sure sure but it's not the same commercial it's the same
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company okay it's different commercials at this commercial freaks me the fuck
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out all right it is one of the weirdest commercials I've ever heard you are
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hyping it as if you we were born to hype I was oh my god all right hey neighbor
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what are you doing digging you had a heart attack last year what I know I was
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told no more hard labor then why are you digging well I've been taking extend a
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vite it's been approved to help my heart extend a vite is that a new drug no not
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a drug it's more like an herbal combination made from garlic and cayenne
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watch we've taken herbs for thousands of years extend a vite is doing the job for
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me does your doctor know about extended my doctor knows and he said it seems to
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be working for you so don't stop taking it I feel great I don't want to stop
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okay man really defensive about you taking this extend a vite I'm just your
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neighbor I was just trying to be polite asking you why you're out here digging
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you had a heart attack you're out here digging now you're telling me about
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garlic and cayenne why he's digging you just had a heart attack last week yeah I
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know why do you think I'm fucking digging you think my wife can afford a
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gravestone no oh I'm taking extend a vite it's not a drug legally it is not a
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drug also I love a commercial that in the middle of the commercial is just
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like hey does your doctor know about this don't worry about it and don't ask
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yeah he totally does he's cool he said he was great idea I love it but again
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don't ask your doctor cuz mine knows about it you can go see my guy he knows
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and the last line is I don't want to stop taking it at no point does she say
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stop taking this stuff it freaks me out and extend your life with extender who
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I sing that in the shower it is plagued me and now it will do the same to you
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all unfortunately extend a light extend o-vite extend o-vite extend o
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invitation but I don't know sure sure sure I bet it's not still available you
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don't think so I bet they've gotten let's say they've made it to the
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Canadian Supreme Court I'll tell you this based on that commercial I don't
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think it even exists I think if you order extend o-vite you will get a big
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box of nothing you'll get just cloves of garlic spicy garlic no wonder your doctor
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knows about it I do like that that commercial too is like a bad sketch yeah
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yeah it's great like if someone was doing that intentionally no if I was if
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I was at Second City and somebody was like hey why are you digging you just
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had a heart attack last week I'd be like ah that's a shit premise that's no good
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that's no good yes and that what see now this is dangerous because we come from
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stand-up so when we see a phone that is like the get the fuck off stage so but
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now but it's even worse news and that is that extend o-vite is still available I
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just like I just like that we we've developed an audience that is not just
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gonna let that shit fly no all right and and you know as soon as you asked I was
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like I fucked up because I don't have ten minutes of lore about extend o-vite
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I just heard a fucked up commercial exactly yeah oh my god well Jordan what
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do you how do you feel how do you feel like you've learned a lot oh my god I I
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mean man I still don't know whether or not I am an individual or the collective
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here's the great news it doesn't matter okay that's nice cuz super male vitality
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will make you feel weird and then you'll get it yeah that does actually sound
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right oh my god still available extend o-vite that sounds also like a like
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adjacent to a dick pill right extend o-vite kind of all of these things
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could they could work they probably do they probably were great
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Dan why are you fucking your wife you just had a heart attack last week well
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my doctor's cool thank you all so much thank you all so much thank you all for
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coming
