Transcript/856: Live In London (Night 1)
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Oh my goodness, look at that rabble of merit, those fire arms, it's so horrible.
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But are they training them with constant brainwashing and cause to worship Britannia and to hate
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our ancestral enemies, the Frenchies?
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Oh, the French.
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Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we are back live and now for all of you Anglophiles out there,
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prepare for the pain.
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The funny thing is we're trying to save the dumbed down British people.
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They are the attack dogs of the people that are soft killing them and nothing against England.
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I mean, I've got a lot of English here, blood myself, and one of my ancestors, Gresham, invented the stock exchange on record.
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And the king of England, the sworn enemy of humanity, he couldn't stand the queen of England.
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That's in mainline history books.
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She was a nympho-naniac.
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20 times a day.
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You didn't know the queen of England's husband was a Nazi?
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You didn't know his cousin that started the Bilderberg replace?
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If you don't wake up and say no, you deserve to die.
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And again, folks, I've got extensive British lineage.
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So did George Washington, and he absolutely defeated the Transylvanian king.
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They're not British, they're not Scottish, they're not Irish, they're not Gaelic, they're not Viking.
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Prince Charles is the heir of contractions.
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The queen doesn't run anything, folks.
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She runs that whole country.
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She shuts down roads in England every day, randomly to exercise her power.
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You don't have a snotty...
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Shut up!
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Do you hear that I have a snotness?
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I am Piers Morgan, my dear boy.
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Go ahead, now.
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I'm ready for my salute.
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My proboscis while I talk to you.
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I'm sorry, go ahead.
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Go ahead.
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The show is called 8 out of 10 Cats.
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And this is how our society is turning into a tyranny.
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Everything is turning into a tyranny.
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The queen of England has now joined with the United States and the West.
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And so the Transylvanian queen knows which way the wind is blowing
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and can see that Trump and America are winning, and now she's coming in like the deuce axe.
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The hero comes in at the last moment when the main hero is going to lose.
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Queen Elizabeth, with this axe, has now become behind solo deuce axe at the moment.
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Live from the UK, it's Knowledge Party.
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It's Knowledge Party.
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Hey everybody!
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And hello London!
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I'm Dan.
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I'm Jordan.
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We're a couple of dudes who like to go all around the UK
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very sleepily and miss my cat Celine dearly
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and talk a little bit about Alex Jones.
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Oh indeed we are, Dan.
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Jordan.
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Jordan.
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Quick question for you.
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What's up?
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What's your bright spot today, buddy?
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I might have dual bright spots.
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Dual bright spots?
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The first one is how panicked I was sitting backstage while my playlist played.
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That's true.
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I could not stop telling Jordan like,
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I don't know if this is the right Avril Lavigne song.
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I feel like being a teen woman is not going well for me right now.
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I swear it's the most judged I ever feel is when I put on a song.
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So we made it through.
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My real bright spot is, I would say, lodging in the UK.
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Is that you alone?
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Nothing but great times, I will say.
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Great times.
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Wonderful trip, but hotels here...
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Don't know how to do it.
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Wow.
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They just don't.
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It's not your fault.
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I assume it's like historical.
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Your country is a million years old, so assumably you're like,
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we don't have to be hospitable to anybody.
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We conquered India, right?
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Like it's fine.
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Glasgow wasn't too bad as a hotel situation.
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But then we show up in Manchester and we're put into a hotel.
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That's how you would describe it too.
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We were put into a hotel.
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Yeah, yeah.
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I'm up on the 12th floor.
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I got no Wi-Fi and everything is not cool because I need Wi-Fi to do some work and stuff.
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It's kind of important.
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So Jordan, as the wonderful tour manager that he is,
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he pulled some strings and got me moved to a lower floor,
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where theoretically there would be Wi-Fi.
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He talked to the front desk and they said,
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the lowest we can go is the 10th floor.
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The 10th floor?
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The lowest we can go is the 10th floor?
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That's where there's openings.
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I mean, that's two floors at least.
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That's fine.
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What is that, 12 feet?
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At least.
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Yeah.
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Six foot floors.
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I don't know how tall I am.
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We didn't mention that.
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That's the real bad part about the hotel, six foot floors.
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So I talked to the person at the front desk and exchanged my keys
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and I end up on the 7th floor, which is mysterious because that's lower than the 10th.
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By the way, before he wound up on the 7th floor,
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the last words I said to the front desk was,
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please take care of Dan.
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Now continue.
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So I get a room on the 7th floor.
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Get in there.
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Still no Wi-Fi.
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Great.
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Also notice that there are exposed roof tiles that are really scary.
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And I poke my head into the bathroom and there's drag marks of something.
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And I'm like, this is a murder room.
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It did feel like if I were to grab two ankles and drag a body,
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those are the marks that would be left behind.
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I mean, it wasn't red, so it's like, especially if you're really trying to clean it.
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Yeah, you got the wrong ammonia, so it just turned to...
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Yeah, I got you.
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I'm like, I'm not staying in this room.
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Fuck this.
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And so I go back down and they put me back on the 12th floor.
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But as I'm talking to the person, they're like, how did you get in that room?
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I don't think people are supposed to be in there.
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That's a fucking murder room.
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Yeah, because there was a murderer in that room.
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Yes, exactly.
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They're still investigating that room.
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Exactly.
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I tampered.
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I poked the ceiling tile.
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I tampered with evidence.
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Yeah, you're a suspect.
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You left DNA behind.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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So get up to the 12th floor, still no Wi-Fi and make it good.
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Then we show up here in London.
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I'm in a hotel.
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My bathroom has a sewage leak.
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So I have to use Jordan's shower.
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Yeah, that's true.
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Anyway, I want to get back to my cat.
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Maybe worse now.
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But everything else is wonderful.
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It is just the hotels.
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Everybody is wonderful.
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Anyway, Jordan, I'm sorry.
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I monopolized time.
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No, no, no.
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Everything is great except for the parts that we are not doing right now.
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Yeah.
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My great spot, Dan, is that I can see.
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Whoa.
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I can see.
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Look at my eyes.
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I'm not wearing glasses right now because I left them on the train.
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So yesterday I went to multiple optometrists to be like, hey, listen, I get you have laws.
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Fine.
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I'm not from here.
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Let's forget about them.
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Just give me two pairs of contacts.
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That's all I need to get through two days.
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And they're like, we have laws.
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And I'm like, I get that.
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I started with we have laws.
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I opened with that.
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Yeah.
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You were agreeing with that from the jump.
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Totally.
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Totally.
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But let's ignore them.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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So this all happens.
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And after an almost excessive amount of badgering and me being this loud, they finally agreed
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to give me an eight-minute eye test just to get laws out of the way.
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And then they gave me exactly what I asked for.
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And I couldn't just, because at the end of it, here's what I was thinking.
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What I was thinking was like, once they give me the merchandise, then I can say whatever
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I want to say.
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And I chose against it.
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Yeah?
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Polite.
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You kept yourself together?
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I did.
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How long were you yelling at them?
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Was it more than the eight-minute eye test?
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No, it was way more than the eight-minute eye test.
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Yeah.
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I can see that.
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It was a good half hour because I kept getting different answers.
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Like, oh, we don't have an appointment until tomorrow.
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And then it's like, let's talk a little bit more.
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And they're like, ah, we don't have an appointment until like six o'clock tonight.
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And I'm like, you guys close at six o'clock tonight.
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And they're like, we know.
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And then eventually after just talking, they're like, fuck it.
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Come back in an hour.
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The guy's available.
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He'll poke your eyes with the...
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And then that'll be it.
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Is that, he's spitting your eye?
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No.
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No, when you get the eye test, everybody knows the part where it goes...
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Like that.
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I got that and then they gave me contact.
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You know, the fact that there is an eight-minute eye test really calls into question...
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Sure does.
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...how long those eye tests need to be.
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Sure does.
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Yeah.
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I feel like you have a new campaign.
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Bring this bullshit down.
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Listen, I'm against the monarchy, but first we got to deal with eye tests.
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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They're fucking with us.
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It's a charade.
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That's the idea.
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So folks, we have a show here to do.
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Oh, we do.
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Yeah.
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And so we are going to be talking about today, Jordan.
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October 30th, 2013.
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All right.
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That's Halloween, right?
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Day before.
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Oh.
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October has 31 days?
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You bet.
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Okay, hold on.
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Do you remember the rhyme?
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No, you do the hand thing, right?
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Knuckles?
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I don't.
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Never mind.
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I don't.
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I certainly don't.
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What is it?
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My very easy...
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Please excuse my dear Aunt Sally.
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No, I thought I was going with the planets, but okay, that's fine.
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I don't know how many...
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I'm always surprised by how many days there are in a month.
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Just let it ride.
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I know one of them for sure.
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Every four years, I'm off.
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And then October, I know for sure, because it's the candy holiday.
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That's true.
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You love candy.
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Yeah.
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And you love putting razor blades in other people's candy.
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What was that weird sound I made?
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As if I was lusting for candy right now.
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I kind of am.
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Get this man a Haribo.
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I have enjoyed...
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Everything that's bad about the hotels has been made up for by wonderful candy selection
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over here.
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It hasn't hurt.
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Yeah, it's great.
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So October 30th, 2013.
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No idea why I would choose that day?
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No.
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Okay.
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So when I was planning out these shows, one of the things that was in my mind was that
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we're going to be in the UK and that's where so much great music comes from.
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Sure.
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That's the sound that molded eras so often from here, to the point where to pick out
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a best example, you'd have a really hard time.
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So as I was poking around, I realized that today, when we're doing the show, September
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26th is the anniversary of the release of Abbey Road, arguably the Beatles' best record.
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No response.
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You know what's fun about that is you started with...
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I said arguably.
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I was going to say, you started with arguably and everybody agreed to argue.
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This is Dan's style, playing it safe.
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So one of the best albums by one of history's most important bands came out on the day that
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we're doing a live show in London.
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Yeah.
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Almost too perfect.
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It is.
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Yep.
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It is too perfect.
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And it felt false for me as a person because I kind of like the Beatles, but as a kid,
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I wasn't allowed to listen to music that my parents construed as being inspired by drugs.
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I was hit with the switch and not allowed to listen to the Beatles.
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Yep.
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I gained appreciation for the Beatles' catalog through Beatles Rock Band.
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And I'll probably never live down the moment when me and my buddies, Nicky Gifts and Swearingin
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were playing a few songs and Yesterday came on and I recognized that song, but I had no
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idea it was by the Beatles.
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My dad let me listen to that, but he kept the little secret that it was the Beatles
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from me.
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That is one of the weirdest things I've ever heard.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Anyway, I couldn't in good conscience do an episode where I pretended to love the Beatles.
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If I were going to talk about British music, it needed to be something I truly loved.
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And as far as I'm concerned, there's only two options.
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Avril Lavigne.
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No, she's from Canada.
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Sorry.
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Commonwealth country.
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It's basically the same thing.
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It's the first option, Phil Collins.
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He's had a career full of hits, both solo and with Genesis, but what really put him
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over the top is he did that cover of Home with Bone Thugs and Harmony.
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Was that it?
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Yeah.
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Take, take me home.
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That was the one.
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That was the one.
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Put him over the top.
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Yep.
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Alright.
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There is nothing cooler than seeing old man Phil Collins in a music video nodding along
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as Lazy Bone raps.
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That puts him deep into the consideration.
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See, I always felt like his lasting legacy will just be, choo choo, choo choo, choo choo,
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choo choo, boom.
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Yeah.
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That's it.
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That's what he's called.
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Just doing that at a bar.
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Whenever we've forgotten all music, that will be the break that ends it.
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Like at the end of time, as everything is crushed down into a white hole.
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Yep.
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Hey man, you know.
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Yeah, that's physics.
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And that'll be what plays.
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As the earth explodes, it's just that drum beat.
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And it's Phil Collins' fault.
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You know that song's about him watching someone watch someone drown.
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So anyway, Phil Collins is not the winner here.
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Any whoozle.
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Yeah.
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No one should be surprised that the winner is the Spice Girls.
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Right.
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The best musical act this fine country has ever produced.
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And guess what?
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September 26th is also the anniversary of the release of what might be their most iconic
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single, Say You'll Be There.
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Certainly iconic in terms of the awakening of my sexuality as a young boy.
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But look, here's the thing.
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Alex has never had a good show on September 26th.
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I listen to all of them and they're all shit.
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It was like the universe was playing a prank on me.
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Right.
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And so I decided I would go Spice Girl by Spice Girl.
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I would go Spice Girl by Spice Girl.
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One at a time.
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Find their birthday.
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Each of their Achilles tendons shall be...
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Wait, no.
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So who's your favorite Spice Girl, Jordan?
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I swear to you, I've never listened to a Spice Girl song on purpose.
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You're the music guy and you've never listened to this Spice Girl.
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I just didn't do it.
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I really feel uncomfortable that I...
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Because I don't know if this is true, right?
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Is there one called Scary Spice?
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Yeah.
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Ginger, Baby, Scary, Sporty, Posh.
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All right.
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Can I ask you...
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What?
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Can I ask you a quick question?
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Yes.
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Which of them is non-white?
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Scary.
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Look, you're the one making a face.
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Maybe I didn't want to listen to the Spice Girls.
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Just throwing that out there.
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All right, so you don't have a favorite Spice Girl.
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I do.
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My favorite was Sporty.
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Because he was the one who didn't really get solo singing parts,
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but would just yell a bit.
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I always felt a strong kinship to the one she was like,
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I don't be there.
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Yeah, all right.
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All right.
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Anyway, Sporty Spice was born on January 12th.
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And guess what?
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Alex has never done a good show on January 12th.
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Just before we go any further,
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Dan told me recently that he listened to over 60 episodes
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that he did not use for this particular night.
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And now we're finding out why.
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So we've got roughly 20 attributed to The Beatles.
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We've got 20 attributed to Sporty Spice.
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Where are we going?
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And then I kind of turned against the Spice Girls
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while prepping for this.
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Because Scary is the only non-white Spice Girl
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and that's kind of fucked up.
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Well, sure, I'll say it's that.
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After listening to a ton of January 12th episodes
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of Alex's show and struggling to understand
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some of the Spice Girls' more problematic lyrics
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that don't age well,
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Spice Up Your Life in particular is a little dicey.
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I decided to say fuck it and do the thing
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that I did not want to do,
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which was be the guy from the U.S.
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who loves talking about Oasis.
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Oh, no.
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Sorry.
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I was just the right age when What's the Story?
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Morning Glory came out.
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And I still get emotional when I hear
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Don't Look Back in Anger.
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All right? Fine.
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That and Wonderwall were basically
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like an unfair one-two punch for a 12-year-old to hear.
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Plus, the nonsense lyrics of Champagne Supernova,
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that was better than whatever the Spice Girls were doing
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in, again, Spice Up Your Life.
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Don't revisit it.
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Anyway, I lost track of those dudes
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from Oasis around 1998,
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but I'm sure nothing eventful has happened for them
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in their lives.
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I'm sure everything is fine.
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They just were preserved in amber from that time.
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There'll be a Jurassic Park about them.
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So regardless of how much I wish this wasn't what I was doing,
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we are celebrating the anniversary
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of the release of Wonderwall.
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So that was October 30th.
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I think it's funny that I'm the music guy
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and I have to celebrate the 30th anniversary of Oasis.
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It's not the 30th anniversary.
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Or whatever it is.
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Yeah, but October 30th.
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So anyway, I thought I would do something a little bit fun,
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which is give you all a taste of the only fun thing
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that I found in listening to all of those episodes.
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And here is that.
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Or not.
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Uh-oh.
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Okay, here we go.
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There we go.
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Welcome back.
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Thank you so much for joining us.
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I love stopping in the churches.
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Hell yeah.
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What a perfect moment.
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Love stopping in the churches.
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Somehow that's even menacing.
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So we're going to get into this October 30th episode,
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but beyond just that little fun taste from an episode
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that I have no idea when that was from,
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here is an out of context drop from today's show.
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And you think if you come up to them and curl up next to them
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that the starving ravenous wolves are going to give you kissy time.
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They're not going to give you kissy time.
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You've been warned.
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I don't understand quite the need for a warning
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about wolves not giving you kissy time.
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Ravenous wolves.
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Ravenous wolves.
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They're hungry.
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Absolutely.
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So you go into a wolf's den, all right?
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Yep.
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Who's going into a wolf's den expecting kissy time?
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Me?
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I love wolves.
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No, I don't like wolves.
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I was going to try and play that out, but...
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Are you going to like...
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What does kissy time with a wolf even mean?
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Come here.
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I don't know.
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You know how you snuggle with your dogs?
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I do, but I don't...
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They're basically wolves.
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Like, not on the mouth.
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Wow.
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You're missing out.
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I don't know.
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Don't people kiss their dogs on the mouth?
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Is that, like, a stand-up bit that people are like,
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why are you white people kissing dogs on the mouth?
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I feel like I've heard that before.
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Right?
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I've heard that before.
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I've not seen Def Jam comedy in quite a while.
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Missing out.
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But now I'm kind of wishing I revisited it.
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Yep.
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So we are going to start here where Alex starts off,
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where he plans on this episode to get to calls.
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We're going to take calls.
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We're going to be real serious.
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I like the foreshadowing.
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I do feel like everyone in this room knows
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we're not really going to get to calls.
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He plans to do something.
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Yeah.
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It's not going to happen.
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Here's where we go.
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Everybody pretty much knows what a lot of the big news is.
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There is some breaking news we're going to be getting to.
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But I'm going to just open the phones up to first-time callers,
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and I'm going to go to your phone call,
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and I'm going to give the person one minute,
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and then I'm going to move to the next person.
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I've never actually been able to do this.
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Back 10, 15 years ago, I could do dog radio
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and take 50 phone calls in an hour,
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in 45 minutes of air time.
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I just cannot get out of the rut I'm in of just covering news
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and ranting and pontificating, which is incredibly popular
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and, I think, informative to certain extent.
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But I'm still very hungry.
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He's hungry.
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He's hungry.
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He's hungry for those calls.
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Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp.
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Take a bite out of them.
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I don't understand what any of his callers
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could say in one minute.
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All of them.
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Hey, Alex, cold blood suck.
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Got to go.
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Baba booey.
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No, they all start with, like, Alex,
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I have a question for you.
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First off, I need to tell you about how the Jews are doing.
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You're like, no, we got to click.
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The phenomenon of, like, a minute-long Alex Jones phone
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call is, like, two seconds for the caller and 58 for Alex.
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That's really the problem.
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And the problem is that people love his rants too much, man.
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They're too good.
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Too good.
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I like how he complains about stuff that
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is entirely under his control.
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But there is some responsibility.
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He's taking some responsibility for it.
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Like, I can never do this.
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I constantly say I'm going to do this.
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I do appreciate a man who consistently
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refuses to change anything.
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Yeah.
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While at the same time being like, hey,
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I should really do that.
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I should, but I got to give the people what they want,
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which is me ranting.
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You know, I'm thinking this heroin addiction,
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not going to do it for me long term.
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But the people love it.
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The people love it when I'm high on heroin.
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Right.
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Got to give the people what they want, which is
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a needle sticking out of your arm.
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As usual.
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So there are a lot of advertisement mascots
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of the times of your old time advertisement mascots.
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If you had to choose one that you think Alex
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would compare himself to, who do you think it would be?
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I mean Kool-Aid Man, for sure.
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Kool-Aid Man?
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Kool-Aid, I mean, literally.
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Barging through the walls?
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Literally.
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Oh, yeah.
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Yeah, Kool-Aid Man.
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Well, do that again, but then say,
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let me tell you about the Bilderberg Group.
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The Bilderberg Group!
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Trilateral Commission is also in there,
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but I keep forgetting about them.
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I like that.
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That would be a long thing for the Kool-Aid Man.
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But sure.
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One of his preamble was a great deal longer than, oh, yeah.
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He starts before he breaks through the wall.
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Yes.
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Beware, everyone.
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I'm going to be breaking through this wall.
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I hope there are no innocent bystanders.
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No, that's not it.
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No.
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So here we go.
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And many of you have heard this probably a hundred times
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the last 10 years.
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Heard me give this speech, and I'm going to take your calls,
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and it's kind of like licking to the center of a Tootsie Roll.
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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop
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or whatever it's called?
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And a little owl goes, one, a two, a three, crunch, a three.
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And it's the same thing.
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I can never get through five or six articles
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without one of them making me mad
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and then going off onto a rant that makes me think of something else
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that goes to another rant.
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But in the interest of time, we are going to come back,
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open the phones up, and take a lot of calls.
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I mean, that's just poor impulse control, really.
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Right.
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Right.
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The joke of that is the owl should be licking it a great deal more times.
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Right.
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Yes.
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And by failing, he has proved both that he is addicted to candy
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and he hates that turtle guy or whatever it was.
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The turtle, yeah, yeah.
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Was it a turtle?
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I think so, yeah.
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At least the original one.
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Uh-oh.
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Somebody's after us.
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Someone heard that you're doing heroin.
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No, they heard you shitting on a Manchester hotel.
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Oh, no.
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Is that illegal here?
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I don't know the law.
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No ill words about the lodging.
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So I have some problems with this.
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The first, obviously, is like you mentioned,
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the Tootsie Roll Owl has no intention of licking.
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He just wants to get to the center of that pot.
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They didn't go in planning to help the kid or the turtle
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find out how many licks it takes to get to the center
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only to change their mind to licks in.
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Yeah.
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So if this metaphor is to hold,
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then Alex is really just saying that it's always his intention
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to find that story that will set him off and launch a rant.
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He knows what the audience wants.
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That's the Tootsie Roll center of the pot.
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Right.
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Sure, maybe you'd end up with more information
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if you took your time and licked the Tootsie pot.
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That shit's boring.
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It takes too long.
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Chomp on that shit.
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Take the shortcut.
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That, of course, is analogous to how Alex lies about the stories
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and fakes the emotion that helps make his rant seem interesting.
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These are the shortcuts that he uses
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to afford the laborious licking,
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which in this case is a metaphor for doing his fucking job.
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At least in the original 1969 commercial,
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the depressed-ass turtle has the decency to tell the kid
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he has no idea how many licks it takes
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because, quote, he can't stop himself from biting it.
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The kid comes up and he's like,
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I don't know, I'm just gonna bite that thing.
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I like that somehow a Tootsie Roll commercial
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has turned into one of the great satirizing
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of the media of our time.
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Scathing.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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The owls are Alex, the mainstream media's the turtle,
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and we're all getting fucked over by both of them
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because the turtle's lying to us about how many licks.
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The owl's eating our shit.
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Yeah, and it's essential for our survival
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to know how many fucking licks it takes.
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It is essential!
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Yeah.
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That's the thing about misinformation these days.
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Yeah, we nailed it.
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The Zoomers haven't seen that commercial.
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We need to show the Zoomers the commercial.
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Also, fun fact, that owl was originally voiced
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by Paul Winchell, who was also the voice
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of Tigger and Gargamel.
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That is a fun fact.
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Yeah, he was a world-famous ventriloquist
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who works with his puppet Jerry Mahoney,
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one of the legends in the ventriloquism game.
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I have a puppet named Jerry Mahoney.
Unknown Speaker (00:27:27.000)
Yeah, you don't know about Jerry Mahoney?
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I like that.
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He's one of the big ones.
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Not like that these days.
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It's not like the demon guy or whatever it is.
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Not just like a regular-ass name.
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Yeah.
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Also, this ventriloquist who did the voice
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of the owl in the Tootsie Pop commercials
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may have invented the artificial heart
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that allowed for the first heart transplants,
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which he developed alongside Dr. Henry Heimlich,
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the guy who invented the Heimlich maneuver.
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Crazy.
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There's not enough guys, man.
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There's not enough.
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There's not enough guys.
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What are the rest of us doing?
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Also, think about this if you want your mind blown.
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Sure.
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The guy who invented the Heimlich maneuver
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died after Trump was elected president.
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He lived that long.
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That maneuver is not that old.
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Hey, man, I just don't even know anymore.
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Where am I in time?
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This is a simulation, right?
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I think so.
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I think it has to be.
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Yeah, I think so.
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So Alex gets down to business and tries
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to get to calls, which, of course,
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means he gets completely lost in the weeds.
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Right.
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And, you know, it is what it is.
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Yeah.
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I'm not going to preach here today.
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I'm going to do something different.
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I'm going to do it.
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I'm not going to cover news until about 45 after,
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and then I'll hit all the big top stories.
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They're here.
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Is that because there's no news?
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All the insanity.
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Obamacare even worse than I thought.
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Design for pure fraud and incredible preparations
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for martial law and school children being taught
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that they must follow the orders of government
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no matter what and their parents are bad.
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And Russell Brand, listener of the show,
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said that he took a job working in a newspaper
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because he was enamored with the beautiful woman
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that headed it up.
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He was enchanted by her.
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Instead of saying, oh, how romantic, the chivalry,
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the, oh, no, he's been scared by the feminazis,
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as Russell and Paul call them.
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He's been scared by the who know that they're
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taking over the culture.
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It's not about empowering women.
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It's about empowering them as tyrants.
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Never before, but with modern feminism, as it's called,
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have we seen women more debased, more bankrupted,
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more unhealthy, more brought low, more dishonored,
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more trampled.
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And Russell Brand tells the establishment anti-human
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authoritarian salon that he took a job working somewhere
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because he was so enchanted with the female editor
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that headed it up.
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And then they called that hateful and all the rest of it.
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When I was asked to edit an issue of The New Statesman,
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I said yes because it was a beautiful woman asking me.
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See, just the act of men and women loving each other,
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just the purity and goodness of that is anathema to these people.
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They know what they're doing.
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They say you can't dress up like a cowboy on Halloween.
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It's hurtful to cowboys.
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They are the arbiters of reality.
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They put you in a smaller and smaller cage
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where your mommy and daddy can't make your lunch.
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They're not trusted.
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If someone says, hey, let's go eat Chinese food,
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everyone goes, ooh, don't say Chinese.
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I've witnessed that.
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This is the ultimate tyranny, and it's done by design.
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These are not misguided liberals.
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These are conscious dominators of the psyche.
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Were you going to get the calls?
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Because that was fucked up.
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So about that simulation thing, huh?
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Do you know what I've begun to appreciate about this show?
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As, like, 2023 starts getting into real motion,
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or, I mean, whatever, we're prepared.
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Fuck it.
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Yeah, almost in October now.
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Yeah, the year's starting to get into motion.
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No idea.
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No clue.
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Is Halloween on the 30th?
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Anyways.
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No, it's like every time we go back in time,
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the hashtag, like, Alex Jones was right
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should actually have been, like, the complete opposite.
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If everybody was paying attention,
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it would have been, like, Alex Jones was wrong,
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and that's why we arrested Russell Brand ten years ago.
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You know, like, everything we go back, we're like,
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oh, 20 years ago, Alex Jones was like,
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hey, I'll tell you what, this Bob Iger guy is super cool.
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Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, red flag, red flag.
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Yeah, exactly.
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If everybody had had one of us 20 years ago,
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we would be fine.
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Oh, if only we could be on our 27th year of doing this show.
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God.
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Yeah, it is weird to go back in time, though,
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and see these things that are so prescient.
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It's no good.
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Every time something terrible happens in the present,
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eventually somebody on Twitter is like,
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you know you could have seen this coming 20 years ago.
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Just listen to Alex.
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If he supports something, it's bad.
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Terrible.
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It's interesting, though, this other formulation
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that he has here where it's like,
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you can't dress up like a cowboy
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because it's offensive to cowboys.
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Yeah, obviously.
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Obviously, this is about, like, him being mad
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about, like, ethnic appropriation in costumes.
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I was going to say, his black face.
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He's like, listen.
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Cowboy face is the exact same thing as black face.
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That's essentially what he's doing.
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And then jumping over to you can't say Chinese food,
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which is strange.
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But, I mean, you've got to take the handholds
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where you can find them if you're
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climbing this bullshit rock.
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I have no idea why you can't call it Chinese food.
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Well, can you dress up?
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What do you have to call it?
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Can you dress up like a cowboy?
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Szechuan?
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Sure.
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Mandarin?
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Cantonese?
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Well, I mean, if you want to get real specific with it.
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Sure.
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Any more?
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No.
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There's tons more.
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If I can name all five Spice Girls,
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then you have to name every.
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I should be able to name the 138 countries that exist.
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From the top.
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All right.
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Fair.
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Fine.
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No.
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Can't do it.
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Can't do it.
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Fair enough.
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So Alex finally does go to calls.
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He gets a caller.
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And this caller has a fucking awesome question for Alex,
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which is, hey, bro, do you like sci-fi?
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There's more people awake every day
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and it's coming to a conclusion sometime in the future.
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Are you a science fiction fan, Alex?
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I am a science fiction fan back when I had time to read The Greats.
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Well, the movie, I can't help but feel what's happening now.
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Do you remember at the end of the first Star Wars movie
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where the X-wing fighters are coming in
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and the Lieutenant goes up to the Death Star Commander?
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I think it was played by Peter Cushing.
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And he said, you know, we better evacuate.
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These guys are onto something.
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Do you remember what Peter Cushing said?
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He said, evacuate in a moment of triumph.
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I think you overestimate their chances.
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I think I really feel like...
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Evacuate in a moment of triumph?
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I think you overestimate their chances.
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I love that scene, Alex.
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It's flight of Greeks and the great American officers
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and Shakespeare wrote about arrogance and hubris
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is because it will be the downfall of people
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who try to take control without honor.
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Several fighters have broken off from the main group.
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All right, brother, God bless you.
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I appreciate you calling in.
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Let's go ahead and talk to Brian in Canada.
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Give a call from Canada.
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That's how you do a call in a minute.
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That is how you do a call in a minute.
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Caller brings up an idea if you do two Star Wars impressions.
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All right, I'm going to explain my point
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via a Star Wars reference.
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And then you're just going to be like,
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oh, man, Luke and Leia made out, right?
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That's weird.
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I like that the caller is basically making a point
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and then Alex is like,
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I think he's asking me to do that voice.
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I think I'm going to do that voice.
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And another one.
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I find your lack of faith disturbing.
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Did you have to hold your throat while you did that?
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Absolutely.
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Otherwise I would screech like I normally do.
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Are there any screeching Star Wars characters?
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I mean, the wailing jizz was pretty screechy.
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In the remastered version of Return of the Jedi,
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they give an entire musical number to the wailing jizz
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right before Luke Skywalker comes in
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and Jabba the Hutt is like,
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ah, I'm going to throw you into the Sarla.
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Wait, do the voice.
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Come on.
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Do the Jabba the Hutt voice.
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Come on, do the Jabba the Hutt voice.
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Mita illa solo.
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Good, good.
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That's not terrible.
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That's not terrible.
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Hold on.
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All right.
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That's better, that's better.
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Salacious crumb, I got.
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I would like to do a physical impression of Jabba,
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which is I'd like to lay on my side.
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I'd like it to get strangler-like.
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I'd like it to get strangled by beautiful women.
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Wait, no, what?
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Wait, what?
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So, we get nowhere with that caller.
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They've elicited some voices, which is something.
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It's fun.
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But we get another caller, and this caller asks
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what I would describe as a very heady question,
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which is trouble.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:18.000)
Alex, I am another one of those Canadians
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who love you to death up here, and I just wanted to say,
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this is maybe a little bit off topic,
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but I guess I just wanted to share it with you.
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Your slogan says, because there's a war on for your mind,
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and I just wondered, Alex, if you would share
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with your audience what your thoughts are
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with regard to mind versus brain.
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Is the mind the same as the brain in your estimation?
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Holy shit, man.
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This is your response, brother.
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Thank you.
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Whoa, boy.
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Fuck.
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I don't even know the answer to that question.
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If I were Alex, sitting in the studio,
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and somebody asked me, I'd be like,
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get the fuck off the line.
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What are you talking about?
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You asked me that question.
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I'd be like, get the fuck out of here.
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Unless we're sitting around a hookah, having a nice time.
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I haven't had a hookah in a long time, my man.
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What do you think?
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What do you think is the difference
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between the mind and a brain?
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I don't give a fuck.
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I don't know.
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The brain is a physical thing.
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The mind is boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
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I'm sold.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:20.000)
All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:21.000)
So are we ready for Alex's answer?
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Yeah, let's do it.
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Because it's painful rambling.
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I believe that.
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I believe that more.
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Well, you know, I'm no scientist,
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but I've read a lot of scientific reports
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and had a lot of top experts on,
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and I don't get into some of the areas
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where they can't completely prove everything,
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but throughout time immemorial, historians, researchers
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have pointed out that there's something more than just the brain.
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They can do a perfect clone that's 100% the same,
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and for some reason it just doesn't have the same vigor.
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It doesn't matter whether it's a lizard, whether it's a mammal.
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It just isn't the same,
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and we know that there are a sixth sense,
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and we know there are magnetic cells in the brains,
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not just of mammals, but of birds and other fish.
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That's how they're able to navigate.
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It's how they're able to fly south for the winter.
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It's how a hummingbird can fly, you know, 5,000 miles,
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and now from science they know that the brain
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is able to go into the fourth and fifth dimension
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in calculations that it's able to make,
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and of course we live in the third dimension.
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We sure do.
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All right, so there's six senses.
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All right, so we live in the third dimension,
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which means we are free from time.
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No issues there.
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Well, I feel that way on this trip for sure.
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I feel no attachment to time.
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I thought it was two weeks from now, but that's fine.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:48.000)
Yeah, you're living in July.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:51.000)
Okay, so have we cloned any...
Unknown Speaker (00:38:53.000)
Actually, that's a good question.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:54.000)
Yes, the problem with clones is they lack vigor.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:57.000)
Well, obviously that's the problem.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:59.000)
I remember Dolly and the sheep.
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I'm just wondering, have we cloned any lizards?
Unknown Speaker (00:39:03.000)
I feel like we've only cloned lizards in Jurassic Park.
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And those fuckers were vigorous.
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They were vigorous as fuck, spat acid and shit.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:13.000)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:14.000)
Dolly the sheep was pretty lazy, though.
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How's Dolly doing?
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I don't know.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:20.000)
Is Dolly dead?
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I have bad news.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:22.000)
What?
Unknown Speaker (00:39:24.000)
How's it talking to Grand Prix?
Unknown Speaker (00:39:25.000)
Hanging out with Dolly.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:26.000)
Oh, shit. All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:28.000)
Yeah, so we get six senses, which are apparently
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like how birds can geolocate
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and fish can go back to where they spawn to reproduce.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:36.000)
Sure.
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But those are fish and birds.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:39.000)
Yeah.
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I don't know what that has to do
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with the human mind and brain.
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They're magnets.
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So I also...
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How do they work?
Unknown Speaker (00:39:45.000)
That is a great question.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:46.000)
Shout out to the Juggalo we met in Scotland.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:49.000)
Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.
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I also would have thought that the part
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about going in the fourth and fifth dimensions,
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that would have been the mind, not the brain.
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I'm lost.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:03.000)
What is the place you go to?
Unknown Speaker (00:40:06.000)
What is the difference between the fourth and fifth dimensions?
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Like, do you go to the fourth dimension first
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and you're like, man, these people are shit out here.
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So I'm going to head to the fifth dimension,
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see what's going on there.
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Yeah.
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Right?
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And then you just go back?
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How does it work?
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You got to go through the fourth on the way back, though.
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Oh, that's shit.
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Yeah, you got to go like...
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It's like along the drive.
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Oh, it's like the drive from Chicago to New York.
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It's like, fuck, I got to go through Pennsylvania?
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Jesus Christ.
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Oh, shit.
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Pennsylvania, the fourth dimension.
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Yeah, I don't know.
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I'm all lost on all of this.
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I don't think Alex was expecting a question like this.
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I agree.
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And his response shows.
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So we get to learn a little bit more about the sixth senses
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in this next clip.
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I'm into it.
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But Alex expounds on that a tiny bit.
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But most of us have had dreams where exactly
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that that dream comes true.
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Not like you dream of being a rock star
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to become a rock star.
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I mean, you dream of being mugged.
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That's happened to me.
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And then six months later, whatever, the exact mugging
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happened.
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And it's like deja vu.
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And you even know what the person's going to do.
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And it's almost like your brain was able to jump forward
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into the future.
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It's not like deja vu where you think you've seen this before.
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You talk about it.
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You remember it.
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It's very upsetting.
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Those dreams are waking dreams, is what I call them,
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where you know it's real.
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When I was a child, I had them obviously more.
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It's been marked throughout history
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that children are more sensitive.
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It's why the global's like to abuse and hurt them.
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True.
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Because, you know, the evil wants to feed on that.
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Obviously.
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But, I mean, I still have waking dreams.
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And you always know one.
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Even if it's something good coming.
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But most of it, the most common waking dream
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is of your children unborn.
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A lot of times parents, when their children
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will have dreams about their grandchildren.
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That's very common.
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My dad had dreams about my daughters.
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And then only later when, oh my god,
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that was the little blonde-haired girls
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I imagined that were going to be my children.
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That, I mean, was exactly them.
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That's the issue.
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It was a little later.
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He said, oh my gosh, that was that dream.
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Because he told my mom about this when they first got married.
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We're going to have daughters.
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I've seen these daughters.
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They weren't his daughters.
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They were his granddaughters.
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And the enemy knows this.
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That's why they don't want you to think there's anything
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else outside of what we can see.
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One minute per call, buddy.
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One minute per call.
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Talking about your dad prophesying your daughters.
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Yeah.
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My dad had a bunch of dreams about young women.
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And I'm like, that's OK.
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Yeah.
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I feel like I'm reaching a point where
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I think that everything that Alex says his dad told him
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is made up.
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I don't think his dad has said any of these things.
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Yeah.
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I mean, it's either he's making up what his dad is saying.
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Or his dad is a creepy psychopath
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who keeps lying to Alex just as a sort of weird experiment.
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If he was the smartest boy in Texas,
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perhaps his whole idea was like, I'm
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going to raise a child like a weird fucking evil bullet
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to shoot into regular society and break
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everybody's fucking brains.
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And then he's also like, but I'm going to make
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him think some weird shit too.
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But I think that if that's the case, which I'm into,
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I think that would be interesting just narratively.
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I'm not into it, but it's not a terrible idea.
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Well, from a storyline perspective,
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I think it's fascinating.
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Sure, sure.
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But it also then has to be the case that Alex's dad has
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such discipline that he never involves himself in anything.
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Like, the first time I ever saw him physically
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was in that deposition that he got dragged in for.
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Like, he never comes on air.
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He never does anything.
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And that, to me, I think is, you know.
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The sign of a brilliant psychopath.
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See, it could be.
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Yeah.
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I mean, he's like Pablo Escobar.
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But see, we see lack of impulse control on Alex's part.
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And you're describing a shocking level in this psychopath
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dad of his that we're imagining.
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That's true.
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I had a dream about his dad being a psychopath
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with great discipline when I was a child,
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back when I was more sensitive.
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It's crazy because I had a dream about your granddaughters.
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What?
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Yeah.
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Oh, that sucks.
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I'm going to have kids.
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That sucks.
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This is a terrible way to find that out.
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No, you had an illegitimate kid 10 years ago.
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It's fine.
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Oh, what a relief.
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Yeah.
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That's the best news ever.
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It's so good.
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It's good news.
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They'll never ask for money.
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So I have more good news.
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We have a guest.
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The silence from the never ask for money part?
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We have a guest coming on here.
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And it is someone who we don't get to see all that often
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anymore these days.
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Yeah.
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It's a man named Max Kaiser.
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Oh.
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Max coin.
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The king of the bitcoin, Max coin.
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I do like when he shows up.
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And that's because he is the only person who
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outwardly disrespects Alex.
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I don't think that this episode is a good example of it,
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but he's the only person who seems to have the freedom
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to just be like, hey, fuck you.
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See what happens.
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I'm going to do a bit on your show.
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But this isn't that.
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This is him trying to sell bitcoin.
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In the meantime, bitcoin has surged
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to become the napster of currencies,
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to totally be threatening to all central banks and backers
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everywhere.
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And as the days go on, we're finding out this to be the case.
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And of course, the big story this week was somebody
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bought bitcoins in 2009 for $57.
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And now they're worth $800,000.
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He just bought an apartment in Norway.
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And these types of stories are bringing
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a lot of attention to bitcoin.
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Who was really behind bitcoin?
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Uh-oh.
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What?
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Whoa, whoa, whoa.
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Now we're activists who hate bankers.
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So you've got a group of folks back in 2009
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who put what's called the bitcoin protocol
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onto the internet, which is, I think,
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the most remarkable piece of technology and insight
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since going back to Copernicus, who reasoned that, in fact,
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the sun was at the center of the solar system and not the earth.
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At the time, he was a lot of flak for that.
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The creators of bitcoin have figured out
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that you can take the encryption algorithms used
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for sending encrypted emails, and you can turn that
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into a currency that would be completely stateless
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and completely safe to you, this outside of all government
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interference.
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It's a complete ingenious idea.
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And it's changing the entire global economy.
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Well, I want to be clear.
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I want to be clear.
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I totally believe in free, open, digital currencies,
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believe it is the way of the future.
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It gives the power of fiat to the people
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and the power of choice.
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And a bunch will emerge.
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And whatever's the most trusted and the best
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will become preeminent.
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And it could take the globalist out of the equation.
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My issue is, I believe whatever the first big one is,
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they're going to try to sabotage it, demonize it,
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come after it.
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So I haven't endorsed it to my listeners,
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because I, when it comes, you know,
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it ends up getting brought down if it does.
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I don't want to be connected to that,
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just because I understand how volatile and dangerous it is.
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See, now, this is interesting.
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Because what we've got going on here
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is Alex being rightly skeptical about bitcoin
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in the face of Max Keiser.
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No, he was being wrongly skeptical.
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Well, his point was wrong.
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But he was right to be skeptical.
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He was right to be skeptical.
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He was doing it poorly.
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But he was right.
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Yes.
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But this creates an alternate universe right now, right?
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So if bitcoin is at $57.
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Put it up on the whiteboard.
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Right.
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So yeah, so it's at $57.
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Every one of his listeners at least spends $57 on his shit.
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If they had bought like two bitcoin,
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those people would have turned $57 into like 60 grand
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right now.
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So of all the things that Alex could have done,
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he could have made every Infowars listener a millionaire.
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Theoretically.
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And if they had gotten out at the right time,
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it could have been even higher?
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Yeah.
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Well, I mean, right now is the right time.
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I mean, it's still 20 grand or something like that.
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That's crazy.
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Compared to like $0.10 that it was at one point.
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I am so weirded out by Max Keiser being an inexplicably terrible
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and at the same time inexplicably great financial advisor.
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Hmm.
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He has a niche spot.
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Yeah.
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No, it's like, again, Alex is right to be skeptical.
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Yeah.
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But Max is right because bitcoin is so insanely expensive now.
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Yeah.
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Well, that's the flip side of what I was saying.
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It's like if Alex had not been skeptical and just jumped in,
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he would be a billionaire now.
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I know.
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Like Max Keiser is.
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Like of all the things for Alex.
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Oh my God.
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This fucks with my head.
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Yeah.
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Because I do feel like if we're in a simulation,
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there is a moment where Alex is like, eh, fuck it.
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I'll buy 10,000 bitcoin for eight cents.
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Max offered him 10,000 bitcoin.
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Exactly.
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Yeah.
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Now let me ask you this.
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I'm going to lose my mind.
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Does it fuck with your brain?
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Sometimes.
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Or does it fuck with your mind?
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All right.
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Well, the rest of the show is going to be.
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Oh, he's back.
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I don't know.
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I thought about it.
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So obviously there's an obsession
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that Alex has had over the years with the idea
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of getting rid of saying mother and father.
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Right.
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We can't do it.
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Purple penguins.
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Right.
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Purple penguins aren't in play here.
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But Max has an interesting theory
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about how they will stop us from using mother and father.
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OK.
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Well, just a couple of late-breaking things
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that are happening during the break here.
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First of all, you just said they banned
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the word mother and father.
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How do they do that?
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They use copyright law.
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They'll say, we own the word mother and father.
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That's the problem.
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Hell yeah.
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Professional copyright law.
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Now you can't even use the word mother and father.
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They use copyright law.
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That's how they create the copyright apartheid law.
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Well, isn't political correctness a type of copyright?
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Everything becomes racist.
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It's not about political correctness.
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They'll present it as being somehow politically motivated
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or ideologically motivated.
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No.
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It's about just they want to own it.
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They want to own the word.
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And then if you ever use the words,
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they want you to pay them.
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If you can't pay, they'll lend you the money.
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It's all economics.
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There's no ideology whatsoever.
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If everyone thinks it's ideologically driven,
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they're pulling you out of the trap.
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It's just money, money, money.
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Money, money, money.
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That's a little dumb, huh?
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I genuinely don't understand the sequence
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of events that would occur.
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All right.
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The globalists copyright the word mother and father.
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Right.
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Like happy birthday.
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Well, no, not the words.
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The song, maybe.
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Right, right.
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That's what I'm saying.
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So they copyright happy birthday.
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And that way, if you sing it in a movie,
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you have to pay them a billion dollars.
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Right, right.
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So the globalists have copyrighted
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both mother and father.
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Right.
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So you can only say mom in a movie.
Unknown Speaker (00:50:49.000)
Whoa.
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Someone else owns that copyright.
Unknown Speaker (00:50:54.000)
Mama, someone else has that.
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Warner Brothers bought it recently.
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Yeah.
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And yeah, I mean, I've copyrighted the word human.
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You are all no longer humans.
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That's worth a couple of bitcoin right there.
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I love it when you just pop in and find something
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really fucking stupid like this.
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Somebody just out of their depth trying to roll
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with one of Alex's dumb headlines.
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Like the news of the day is they have banned
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mother and father.
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And so now we have to rationalize that
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with copyright law.
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Don't you think, but if you got the copyright
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paperwork filled out and you take it to an office
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and there's a person who's reading it going like,
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oh, shit.
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I didn't know we could do this.
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Stamp.
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No one's thought to do this.
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This is out of control.
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I'm going to copyright the word arm.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:44.000)
Yeah, absolutely.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:45.000)
Absolutely.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:47.000)
All three letter words are mine now.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:50.000)
So I think it's time for a commercial break.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:52.000)
OK, good call.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:53.000)
Yeah, so here we go.
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Here's one of the commercials that Alex was playing
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at this period of his career.
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An e-cig revolution is sweeping across the country.
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What is yours, American made?
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Vapriate e-liquid by LASIG is manufactured
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in Arkansas with 100% USA sourced ingredients.
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And when you buy American, you support local jobs.
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Vapriate e-liquid by LASIG is top quality
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at an affordable price.
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The very principle that once drove the American economy.
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Get great taste with no ash, tar, or smoke.
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You've been wondering why you didn't make the change
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to Vapriate e-liquid by LASIG a long time ago.
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LASIG.com has everything you need
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for beginners to the advanced vaping enthusiast
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with a wide variety of hardware
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and also imported e-liquid flavors as well.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:35.000)
Hell yeah.
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I want to describe the difference
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between the beginner and the advanced.
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I was curious about that myself.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:43.000)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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And I wonder where I fall on this letter.
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I'm not a beginner.
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Is it length of time?
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Is it number of pulls per hour?
Unknown Speaker (00:52:53.000)
Oh, you think it's just clock and shifts?
Unknown Speaker (00:52:55.000)
I mean, yeah.
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What I see is like a Fitbit for vaping.
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So it's like, oh, I got 10,000 vapes today.
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I'm an advanced vaper.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:06.000)
This is a Gladwell thing.
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You have to get your 10,000 hours of vaping.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:09.000)
You have to have a Gladwell for anything.
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I think it's about if you can be fancy with it.
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Some people can blow smoke rings.
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I can't do that, so I'm a beginner.
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If you can Gandalf it, you're an advanced vaper.
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Oh, I blew a ship that flies in the sky.
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Yeah, I wish I could do that.
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I just don't have the patience.
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Or magic?
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What is magic but patience?
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The end result of patience.
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I have no rebuttals.
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I do like this, though, attaching patriotism to vapes.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:46.000)
Absolutely.
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And this is back in, what, 2013?
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This is way early for that.
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And then he stopped.
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Anyway, we get back to the show and we find out something else
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that Alex's dad has told him.
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That's always my favorite.
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I believe at this point Max Keiser has left us,
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but we get to hear about a dumb thing Alex's dad said.
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Let me tell you, these bureaucrats come around, folks,
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a lot of them, they look you right in the eye.
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My dad, when I was a kid, the IRS called him.
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He said, I have all my receipts.
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I've paid all this.
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I don't owe you all this back tax stuff.
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And the woman said, Mr. Jones, we are white collar criminals.
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This was before people would record stuff.
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Interesting admission right up again.
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She said, look, we're going to destroy you and your family.
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I am a criminal.
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Another interesting thing to say.
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And my dad came home and I remember was freaked out for weeks.
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And my dad never gets depressed.
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My dad was shook up bad.
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And then they started taking his bank accounts.
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He fought them for years.
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These are gang raping criminals.
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They want to hurt you.
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They're bank robbers in huge swarm clusters like locusts coming in on us.
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They're not going to stop.
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They're never going to stop.
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They're armed into the teeth against us.
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They're telling troops they can't be Christians.
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These people are Joe Stalin on PCP.
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Okay.
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And they're pedophiles.
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Okay.
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That's the main brigade.
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That took a turn.
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That was, that was probably the closest I've ever been to like a 1940s gangster
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with a Tommy gun, just firing a million bullets into me.
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They're pedophiles.
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My dad told me the IRS admitted they're just white collar criminals.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:23.000)
No, I don't believe that.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:24.000)
I don't think he's telling the truth about any of this.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:27.000)
No, but again, this gets to that interesting distinction.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:29.000)
Is this something Alex's dad actually said to him?
Unknown Speaker (00:55:32.000)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:33.000)
Or is this just whole cloth?
Unknown Speaker (00:55:34.000)
Yeah.
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Like imagine Alex's dad.
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So what happens if, if, uh, David Jones, not David Bowie comes home one day
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and is like, okay, Alex, uh, I had a bad day.
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And Alex is like, Oh, what's going on?
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And he's like, uh, I don't know.
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Like, how do you describe that to a child?
Unknown Speaker (00:55:53.000)
Well, the IRS done told me that they're white collar criminals
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and they want to murder us and they're Stalin and troops can no longer be Christian.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:03.000)
Yeah.
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And would you like some dessert?
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Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:08.000)
Yep.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:09.000)
I don't think they said any of that.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:10.000)
You don't think so?
Unknown Speaker (00:56:11.000)
That's such a weird thing to open with.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:13.000)
Hey, by the way, basically we're white collar criminals
Unknown Speaker (00:56:15.000)
and there's nothing you can do about it.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:17.000)
How do you do?
Unknown Speaker (00:56:18.000)
Just doing a little bit of workplace visit.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:19.000)
We're white collar criminals.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:21.000)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:22.000)
It seems unlikely.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:23.000)
That's absurd.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:24.000)
So Alex gets to talk to him a little bit more about this idea that you can't dress up like
Unknown Speaker (00:56:27.000)
a cowboy because it's offensive.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:29.000)
Uh, and I think he's being intentionally obtuse.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:31.000)
2010 M4 was reported on effort by a coalition of more than 30 liberal organizations to shut
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down the first amendment right of political enemies.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:38.000)
They're doing the same thing in Europe folks, these are the enemy.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:41.000)
And so they're trying to hide in plain view.
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Your kids don't belong to you.
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They belong to the state.
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MSNBC promo.
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Uh, you can, don't go out as a cowboy.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:49.000)
That hurts the cowboys.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:51.000)
And don't go out as a native American.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:53.000)
That's racist and insensitive.
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And don't be a geisha girl.
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Wait, what?
Unknown Speaker (00:56:58.000)
Don't be an artist.
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Don't have fun.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:01.000)
Next, don't dress up like Spiderman.
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It's racist against spiders.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:04.000)
Don't put green paint on your skin.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:07.000)
It's racist against the Hulk.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:09.000)
It's just getting you all like where you can't even talk.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:11.000)
You go, oh, I'm sorry.
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I'm sorry.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:13.000)
I'm sorry.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:14.000)
They're like, that's okay.
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Do what we say and you'll be all right.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:16.000)
See, this is the problem that I have with my left leaning friends.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:19.000)
I try to dress up like Spiderman.
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I get cancelled.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:23.000)
I am tired of people denying the Hulk genocide.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:28.000)
It's very disappointing to me.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:30.000)
Yeah?
Unknown Speaker (00:57:31.000)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:32.000)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:33.000)
I think Alex is intentionally not getting the point.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:35.000)
So we've got cowboys offended by chaps.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:38.000)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:39.000)
Or I guess maybe those black masks like the Lone Ranger had.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:44.000)
Was he a cowboy or was he a thief?
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Holy shit.
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Was he a good guy or a bad guy?
Unknown Speaker (00:57:49.000)
I genuinely have no idea anymore.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:50.000)
Here's the point of the show where I realize I don't know what the Lone Ranger was.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:54.000)
I vaguely remember that Johnny Depp was the Lone Ranger and now I'm against it.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:00.000)
I know that there were like a mask.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:03.000)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:04.000)
So we got that.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:05.000)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:06.000)
Then we got spiders who had been writing letters with all eight legs for a long time.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:09.000)
It's very efficient.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:10.000)
Yeah, they get eight times as many letters to their congressmen as we do.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:14.000)
And then you have, again, hulks.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:16.000)
Also, by the way, can we talk about how spiders have been getting away with representation
Unknown Speaker (00:58:20.000)
without taxation for way too long?
Unknown Speaker (00:58:22.000)
That is true.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:23.000)
That is true.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:24.000)
It's the reverse of the revolution.
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They're fucking squatters.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:26.000)
Right?
Unknown Speaker (00:58:27.000)
That's what they are.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:28.000)
Absolutely.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:29.000)
Oh, I eat other bugs.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:30.000)
Great.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:31.000)
Pay rent.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:32.000)
Here's the ultimate problem, though.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:34.000)
I feel like you're forgetting that if a hulk is offended, they will smash.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:40.000)
That is true.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:41.000)
As opposed to write a letter and say, I'm offended.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:44.000)
Yeah, there's not going to be some like complaining that goes on.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:47.000)
No, no, no, no.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:48.000)
There's going to be hulk smash.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:50.000)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Strange.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:52.000)
Yes, much like the Kool-Aid man.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:54.000)
Which, let's not get started on dressing up like the Kool-Aid man.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:57.000)
Oh, that's offensive to red.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:59.000)
It's offensive to jars.
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Pitchers.
Unknown Speaker (00:59:02.000)
So Alex in this next clip, he kind of faked some excitement in himself by talking about
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how demonic his enemies are.
Unknown Speaker (00:59:10.000)
Sure.
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They are the enemy.
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The enemy.
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The enemy, enemy, enemy, enemy, enemy.
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The enemy.
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The sworn enemy of everything good.
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They are demonic.
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They are the hordes of hell.
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They are absolute anathema to everything good.
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They are the plague.
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They are the scourge.
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They are the traitor.
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They are the destroyer of ideas.
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They are the opposite of liberals.
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They are absolute pit of hell, child molesting murderers.
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You've signed on with these people.
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You've signed on to absolute hell.
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Oh my God.
Unknown Speaker (00:59:46.000)
And they're really going to try it.
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And believe me, I just want them to know they strike me down, set me up, whatever I've already
Unknown Speaker (00:59:54.000)
won, not being a pile of garbage traitorous filth like you.
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Don't you get it?
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I'm not worried about what you do to my body.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:02.000)
Even if there isn't a God or a life after this, my family goes on.
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All that matters is that you be beaten so that people in the future can have a chance
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to enjoy God's creation and to build something better.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:14.000)
That's what life's all about.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:15.000)
It's stretching forward like all our ancestors did to try to get fingerholds into a future
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of honor and goodness.
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The public has been psych warfare with demonic evil, the sitcoms, the dramas, businesses
Unknown Speaker (01:00:30.000)
cheating each other, cheating sex.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:33.000)
It's all meant to just fry everyone.
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Everyone engaged in evil thinks they've learned some secret technology, a betrayal, and they're
Unknown Speaker (01:00:40.000)
smart and you're not, and they deploy lies on you like it's a game and they're winning.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:46.000)
They don't know they're losing by being frauds.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:49.000)
They don't know they're losing by being scammers.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:51.000)
They don't know they're losing everything.
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Everything.
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They're dishonorable.
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And it is our responsibility to crush them politically.
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It is our responsibility to disdain them and to call them out for the pieces of trash they
Unknown Speaker (01:01:04.000)
are and do the opposite of everything they say.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:07.000)
You want to know a battle plan?
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Do the opposite of everything they say.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:11.000)
If they run up to something, it's the kiss of death.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:14.000)
You got that?
Unknown Speaker (01:01:15.000)
Anything they push is failure.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:17.000)
Everything they push is meant to screw you up.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:19.000)
Everything they promote is meant to poison you physically, mentally, spiritually.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:23.000)
Everything.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:24.000)
Everything they are is the enemy of everything good.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:27.000)
Yeah, man.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:28.000)
It's like how the CDC will tell you if you get a cut, you should wash it out.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:31.000)
Do the opposite.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:33.000)
Get it dirtier.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:34.000)
I mean, I almost appreciate this clip because it shows us that all we should have done is
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said to a group of people the opposite of what they shouldn't do.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:46.000)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:47.000)
Give bad advice.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:48.000)
Yeah, if we give them bad advice, they would do it.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:50.000)
But if we give other people good advice, they'd do it.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:53.000)
And then we'd all do the same thing for different reasons.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:55.000)
Well, I think you run the risk of one organization giving contrary advice to different groups.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:01.000)
Like, expecting different groups will pick it up, you know?
Unknown Speaker (01:02:04.000)
Yeah, that would be strange if the CDC was like, hey, only dumb people take this advice.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:11.000)
But then you'd almost have to double bluff, you know?
Unknown Speaker (01:02:15.000)
Like, smart people would take this advice.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:18.000)
Huh?
Unknown Speaker (01:02:19.000)
Not.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:20.000)
What?
Unknown Speaker (01:02:21.000)
But dumb people would.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:22.000)
Whoop.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:23.000)
Oh, God, I don't even know anymore.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:25.000)
Oh, what tangled webs we weave.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:27.000)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:28.000)
They tell you not to eat spoiled meat.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:31.000)
You should.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:33.000)
So I shouldn't?
Unknown Speaker (01:02:35.000)
Well, if you listen to the officials and the globalists, it's just a recipe for death.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:40.000)
What's Fauci saying about meat these days?
Unknown Speaker (01:02:42.000)
These days or in 2013?
Unknown Speaker (01:02:44.000)
Oh, no, no, no.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:45.000)
I want to know these days.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:46.000)
I can't tell you that.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:47.000)
Fair enough.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:48.000)
We've been on the road too long.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:49.000)
I've not gotten a Fauci update.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:52.000)
Brutal.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:53.000)
Probably still cool with meat, I assume.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:55.000)
It was never really about meat, was it?
Unknown Speaker (01:02:57.000)
Nope.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:58.000)
Yep.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:59.000)
It was mainly about COVID.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:02.000)
So, calls have been happening.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:08.000)
If you'll recall, the agenda was calls.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:11.000)
That was the idea.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:12.000)
And we've not gotten to too many of them.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:14.000)
We've had two calls, right?
Unknown Speaker (01:03:15.000)
Yep, yep.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:16.000)
And there were a couple scattered in also, just randomly here and there.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:20.000)
But we actually only have one more clip left in the episode.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:24.000)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:25.000)
And it's when Alex gets to another call.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:27.000)
Oh, that's exciting.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:28.000)
And then there is another shocking flash in time.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:32.000)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:33.000)
A rip in the facade of time.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:37.000)
I can't do this.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:39.000)
I can't fake the enthusiasm.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:42.000)
Hold on.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:43.000)
This is you.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:44.000)
This is you.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:46.000)
What do you mean?
Unknown Speaker (01:03:47.000)
Do you mean there was a rip in the fabric of time?
Unknown Speaker (01:03:51.000)
See, that's not bad.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:52.000)
Nah, I could do better.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:54.000)
It's been a long time since I've skipped an acting class.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:59.000)
When you took an acting class, did they have a faking enthusiasm day?
Unknown Speaker (01:04:03.000)
Well, I mean, I had to pretend that I wanted to be there.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:07.000)
So that was pretty close.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:08.000)
So, yes.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:09.000)
Alright, here we go.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:10.000)
Here's a caller.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:11.000)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:12.000)
I would pay your debt back to a local bank or a local group or a family that loans you
Unknown Speaker (01:04:17.000)
money.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:18.000)
Real quick, the caller has asked him if he should pay back his loan.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:21.000)
Should I follow rules and pay back money?
Unknown Speaker (01:04:24.000)
Uh-huh.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:25.000)
So, yeah, in those cases, yes.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:27.000)
But...
Unknown Speaker (01:04:28.000)
Everybody always cheats, though.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:29.000)
They're family.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:30.000)
If it was with a big bank or something, one of the big sex narcotics trafficking banks,
Unknown Speaker (01:04:35.000)
it's almost your duty, in my view, to not pay.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:38.000)
And then, of course, you can later settle with them.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:41.000)
Or do what all the big gangsters do.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:45.000)
Like, Trump and people, they just declare bankruptcy over and over again.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:51.000)
But, of course, they'll go after you if you're small.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:53.000)
They only let the billionaires engage in fraud.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:56.000)
Yeah, man.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:59.000)
Don't pay back your loans.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:00.000)
Be a gangster like Trump.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:03.000)
I mean, it is just...
Unknown Speaker (01:05:06.000)
If everybody had listened to this show and done the opposite of what he said, we'd be
Unknown Speaker (01:05:13.000)
fine.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:14.000)
Simulation, baby.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:16.000)
It is almost like Buddhist Cohen, Alex Jones being wrong.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:24.000)
Because it's like, listen, if you had listened to him, he was so wrong that it's just diametric.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:31.000)
It's a big circle and he's on one side and you should just be on the other.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:34.000)
That's all you need to do.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:36.000)
The problem is we've all tried to live in the middle ground.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:39.000)
We've tried to make Venn diagrams.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:41.000)
What we should have done is just listened to Alex and been like,
Unknown Speaker (01:05:47.000)
I'll do exactly the opposite of everything you say.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:50.000)
Which is strange because he said you should do the exact opposite of everything we say.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:58.000)
Whoa.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:00.000)
What is the difference between the mind and the brain?
Unknown Speaker (01:06:05.000)
I don't know, man.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:08.000)
Also, I refuse to do the opposite of him on some things.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:13.000)
Like what?
Unknown Speaker (01:06:14.000)
Some of his choices in country music are pretty good.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:16.000)
That's fair.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:17.000)
Yeah, I'm not going to not like the highwaymen because he loves them.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:21.000)
Sure.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:22.000)
What if we no longer belong to the city?
Unknown Speaker (01:06:24.000)
Whoa.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:25.000)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:26.000)
Do you belong to the countryside?
Unknown Speaker (01:06:31.000)
Where's Glenn Frey?
Unknown Speaker (01:06:33.000)
He lives in England, right?
Unknown Speaker (01:06:35.000)
Doesn't he?
Unknown Speaker (01:06:36.000)
I don't know.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:37.000)
I thought he did.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:38.000)
Is the Eagles?
Unknown Speaker (01:06:39.000)
No.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:40.000)
They're from Philadelphia.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:41.000)
I don't know where Glenn Frey lives and I genuinely don't know why you would think I would know where Glenn Frey lives.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:49.000)
My man, you don't keep tabs on Glenn Frey.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:52.000)
There's a part of me that is now like, oh boy, if I had kept tabs on Glenn Frey, this would be the only moment that I could pull that off.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:59.000)
It would have been huge.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:00.000)
It would have been huge.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:01.000)
This place just, a bomb goes off with laughter.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:04.000)
Holy shit.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:05.000)
Amazed by your ability to recall.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:07.000)
That'd be cool.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:08.000)
I do also like, just getting back to this last clip for one second, the idea that Alex is so against people having their student loans forgiven and his honor,
Unknown Speaker (01:07:16.000)
actively being like, if it's a big back, don't even fucking pay it back. You have an obligation not to.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:22.000)
You prick.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:23.000)
Yeah, I like that.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:24.000)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:25.000)
Put a lot of people in jail for movies, right?
Unknown Speaker (01:07:27.000)
Mm-hmm.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:28.000)
Good call.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:29.000)
Well, we come to the end of this, folks, and it's a little bittersweet.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:32.000)
Dave, what did we learn?
Unknown Speaker (01:07:33.000)
What did we learn tonight?
Unknown Speaker (01:07:34.000)
Ha.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:35.000)
All right.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:37.000)
One, Spice Girls.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:40.000)
Smoke American.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:41.000)
Yep.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:43.000)
Hit it.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:44.000)
Hit it.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:45.000)
Don't quit it.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:46.000)
That's the advanced move.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:47.000)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:48.000)
If you want to support the country.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:49.000)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:50.000)
We don't know what the difference between the mind and the brain is.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:52.000)
Nope.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:53.000)
Nope.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:54.000)
Alex was wrong about Russell Brand and Trump in advance.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:58.000)
And yet at the same time, by being so wrong diametrically, he was in fact correct.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:03.000)
So he is a wizard in some sense.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:05.000)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:06.000)
Yeah, yeah.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:07.000)
He's the dumbest.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:08.000)
Like, there is the Oracle at Delphi, and then there's the Alex at Fuck Yourself.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:13.000)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:14.000)
There's like the Oracle at...
Unknown Speaker (01:08:17.000)
Man, how am I going to fucking pull...
Unknown Speaker (01:08:20.000)
You got to land this one.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:21.000)
How am I going to pull a city that sucks in Greece?
Unknown Speaker (01:08:23.000)
How am I going to do that?
Unknown Speaker (01:08:26.000)
I bet you could pull one from Pennsylvania.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:29.000)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:30.000)
Hershey.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:31.000)
What?
Unknown Speaker (01:08:32.000)
It's a law?
Unknown Speaker (01:08:33.000)
Somehow we're in the UK and I'm still getting regional-based awes?
Unknown Speaker (01:08:38.000)
Pennsylvania.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:39.000)
I mean, I figured that part out.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:43.000)
That was the gist.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:45.000)
I didn't expect you to be from Louisiana and be like, I will protect every United States.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:52.000)
Well, thank you all so much.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:54.000)
This has been the show.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:55.000)
Thank you so much.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:57.000)
We will be back for another episode, and we will be out at the bar here in a few.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:02.000)
If you want to come say hello, take a picture or whatever.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:06.000)
Thank you all so much for coming.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:08.000)
Thank you so much.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:09.000)
What a wonderful...
Unknown Speaker (01:09:10.000)
Thank you so much.