Transcript/247: Lionel

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Andy in Kansas, you're on the air. Thanks for holding.

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Hello, Alex. I'm a first time caller. I'm a huge fan. I love your work.

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I love you.

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Hey, everybody. Welcome back to Knowledge Fight. I'm Dan.

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I'm Jordan.

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Uh, this is a podcast where, uh, sit down and drink. Oh, boy.

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Oh, boy. What just happened there?

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2019, starting off with, uh-

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I thought we were a couple of dudes.

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We like to sit around and drink novelty beverages and talk about Alex Jones.

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The reason I was, uh, I had that terrible hiccup is I,

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my instinct was to say Happy New Year to everybody right out the gate.

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Right.

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And I tried to integrate that into the we're a couple dudes.

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It was a disaster.

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Holy shit.

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Oh, man.

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I cannot get fancy.

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That was, that was, oh, boy.

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Stick to the script.

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No kidding. We've been opening the show the same way for two years now.

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Oh, boy.

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Oh, Dan?

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Yes, sir.

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Dan?

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Yep.

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What's your favorite New Year's?

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What's my favorite New Year's?

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Or what was your best New Year's?

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What my best New Year's?

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Yeah. Tell me about your best New Year's.

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I don't think I've had a great New Year's, honestly. I mean, what-

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Me neither.

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I can't think of any that stick out in my head as being, like, super awesome.

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I remember, no, I mean, they're all just,

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you know, various amounts of booze with friends, which is not, you know,

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it's usually a pretty good time, but there's never been one that was, like,

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you'd make a movie about or something like that, you know?

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Right.

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The glory of youth, uh, in a way.

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Right, right, right, right.

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I got nothing on this, man.

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No, I mean, most, most New Year's for me are, especially since I've been, like,

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over 21, have never been all that exciting.

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Yeah, I'm not a big New Year's fan. I think the only New Year's that I really remember,

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uh, with any fondness, because the rest of them have been an absolute disaster,

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uh, was when I was, like, 19.

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My friends and I came up to Chicago, uh, one of my friends was at Columbia,

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and we just actually went, like, we went all over the place.

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Like, it was bananas.

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At four o'clock that morning, uh, one of my friends peed on the subway tracks.

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Hell yeah.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Third rail?

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Uh, yeah, not, not yet, uh, but, but yeah.

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And I remember distinctly everyone being fine with it.

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Of course.

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It was 4 a.m.

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On New Year's.

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Everybody's there.

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Everybody's just like, hey, man, that guy's, it's, when you gotta go, you gotta go.

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You gotta go.

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That's the way it's gotta go.

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That's a scene from, uh, like, glory days of youth kind of movie.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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That's where it is.

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I've got, I think one year, the only thing that sticks out to me is there was, like,

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an open bar thing, uh, like, back in Columbia at this dance club that we, me and my friends

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never would have gone to, but it was, like, it was an open bar for, like, 20 bucks or

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something like that, like.

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Oh, yeah, no shit.

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Let's go crash this and see how weird it can get.

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What are you talking about?

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Yeah.

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And I remember I left, I believe, a couple times to go down to the hot dog vendor outside.

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Okay.

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Selling hot dogs.

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A couple times to get some hot dogs.

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That's how bored I was with the scene in there.

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I think I got, I, it might be a different night, but I'm pretty sure it was that night

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that I got into a little altercation with the DJ, because I don't like going to the

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clubs.

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What could it have been?

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Hey, could you play, uh, could you play some Highwaymen for me?

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It wasn't that.

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It's my special day.

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The first thing was I thought they were playing the music too loud.

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And I, like, didn't know that.

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It's too loud.

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And then the second thing was, like,

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everyone agreed with you dad.

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Everybody had elected you, uh, silently the spokesman.

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It was too loud though, even looking back.

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I know I'm like, you know, Hey cranky old man, shut up.

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It was too loud.

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And the second thing I had a little bit of a tiff with him about was like, I thought

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the music needed to get off your lawn as well.

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He could have stood too.

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He was playing music that I thought was just real bad, derivative and boring.

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And so I went up to the booth and I was like, could you play something better?

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Like, this is just a disaster.

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Wow.

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And he's like, I got something that's going to blow your mind.

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Oh no.

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The happy birthday song.

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I'm playing it next.

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I'm like, all right, cool.

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So I go back and get another shot and I'm standing there and, uh, he's looking over

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at me as he puts on the next song.

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With a positive expression or was it like, Oh, I'm going to kill him.

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It was kind of like a wait, wait till he sees this.

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Okay.

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Check this shit out kind of thing.

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Okay.

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And then the next song was a dance remix of the mamas and the papas.

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Uh, uh, did it blow your socks off?

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No, it didn't.

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And as he was looking at me, I made eye contact with him.

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Of course.

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I went like this thumbs up.

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Did not get kicked out, but probably should have been.

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Anyway, that, that might have been one of my new years.

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Now that's from a movie right there.

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I also, that's a glory of old age movie right there.

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I also might've been 23 at the time.

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It's not like it was 60.

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Anyway, Jordan, this, uh, this is a podcast where I know a lot about Alex Jones.

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And I only know what you tell me about Alex.

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And it is a new year.

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And I've been getting, I've been getting some feedback from folks that maybe our

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show is too depressing at times.

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Yeah.

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And so what I wanted to do today is I wanted to mix things up and do an episode that I

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think is possibly, I don't think anyone could be depressed by this.

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I think this will be one of our softest episodes.

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It's going to be, are you going to get the, the antisemitism out of the way up top?

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Is that how this is going to go?

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It's going to be a fancy, free, weird, wacky Wednesday episode.

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And I'm excited to talk about it, but before we do, I've got to give a shout out to a

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couple of new donors here in the knowledge fight fold.

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First, I'd like to say thank you to Jeremy.

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You are now a policy wonk.

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I'm a policy wonk.

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Thank you very much, Jeremy.

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Secondly, we're a little late on this based on the name, but I appreciate it all the same.

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Thank you so much.

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The Christmas fish.

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You are now a policy wonk.

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I'm a policy wonk.

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Thank you so much, Christmas fish.

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Who are you?

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Mysterious, enigmatic Christmas fish.

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This next one, I, I at first thought this was a name that I don't want to, I don't want

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to talk about on the air.

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I thought this was a goofy trolling prank, but I'm going to go ahead and allow it.

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The Hanukkah dog.

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It is.

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Thank you so much.

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You are now a policy wonk.

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I gambled on a fart and lost a memoir.

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I'm a policy wonk.

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Thank you so much.

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All right.

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Thank you very much.

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I gambled on a fart and lost a memoir.

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We appreciate it.

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Yes.

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Next.

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And finally, I'd like to say thank you to somebody who donated on a little bit of an

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elevated level.

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We appreciate it also very much.

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So Reed, you are now a technocrat.

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I'm a policy wonk.

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Four stars, go home to your mother and tell her you're brilliant.

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Someone, someone sodomite sent me a bucket of poop.

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Daddy shark.

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Jar Jar Binks has a Caribbean black accent.

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He's a loser.

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Little, little titty baby.

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I don't want to hate black people.

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I renounce Jesus Christ.

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Thank you so much, Reed.

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Yes.

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Thank you very much, Reed.

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If you out there are listening, you're thinking, Hey, I'd like to support this show.

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I like these gents and what they do.

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You can do that by going to our website, knowledgeflight.com, clicking that button that says

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support the show.

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We would appreciate it.

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Yeah.

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If you that's, that's a, that's an interesting thought to have.

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Like when you're driving at work and you're just like, when you're driving at work, you

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might be driving to work.

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If you're a long haul trucker or a chauffeur, it could be a show for, could be, could be

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an Uber driver.

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Absolutely.

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Because, because an Uber driver playing our podcast while driving would be fantastic.

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Five stars on the app.

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Um, what were you saying?

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Uh, I think, I think it's a strange thought to have to just be like, Hey, I want to support

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these guys.

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But some people do and it's a weird thought and we appreciate it.

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Thank you very much to all of you.

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Speaking of that, I know that I said that the Wiki would probably be posted on the first.

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There's a little bit more work I need to do.

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And I realized how much better would it be if it came out on January 7th, the formal

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anniversary of our show.

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That's right.

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The second anniversary.

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So that will be the day that it goes live.

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I'm sorry for the false start there, little hiccup, but it will be on knowledgefight.com

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on January 7th in celebration of our anniversary.

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Perfect.

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Now, Jordan, today, I told you this is going to be a little bit light.

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It's positive.

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I don't know if it's positive.

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God damn it.

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Nothing in this show is positive.

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Yeah.

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Well, fair enough.

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But it can't be depressing.

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Wacky Wednesday is a place where we fulfill time travel requests.

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Right.

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Talk about project Camelot, Jim Baker, coach, uh, Dobbin Meyer.

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That motherfucker.

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Um, any of these things, but also one of the things I like to do is I like to highlight

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guests of Alex Jones's and dig in a little bit more about what they're into, what they're

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about.

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Oh boy.

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And today is one such episode where we will be talking about someone who I know has delighted

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you every time he's been on, but you haven't heard too much of him.

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The soap guy.

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I wish, I wish it was all about Marty Schachter who did a deep dive every limerick he's ever

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told. No, today we're talking about Lionel.

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See, you don't even remember who Lionel Lionel, the call Lionel, the guy who called Lionel

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is a guy who hosts the fourth hour for Alex pretty regularly.

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And he's one of Alex's longterm guests.

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He's been around since about 2011 and had late 2010, 20 early 2011 and has a, he's still

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there today.

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He still hosts the fourth hour from time to time.

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He's still a very regular guest on David Knight's show in particular.

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Great.

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Um, and so I thought.

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Which get well soon, David Knight.

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Yeah, absolutely.

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I take no pleasure in him having a heart attack.

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Yeah, that's not how I want him to go.

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So Jordan, Lionel is a guy who you, as soon as you hear his voice, you will remember who

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he is and remember how much you like him.

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Okay.

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Now I didn't want to go find a ton of clips of Lionel on Alex's show.

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Of course not.

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Because the first one I found was good enough to give you a taste of the type of weirdo

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Lionel is.

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So here is a clip of Lionel filling in for Alex Jones in the fourth hour of the Alex

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Jones show.

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How about you Lionel, with you sitting in for Alex Jones.

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So glad to be here.

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I want to get down to business.

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I've got so much to talk about.

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I, I, I've been thinking, which is a dangerous thing.

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And one of the worst parts about this is what I want to talk about.

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Do you remember who he is?

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No, but I love him.

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Okay.

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I love him.

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He was, he's the guy who talks like an auctioneer.

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A little bit.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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There's 25 million things.

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So in no particular order, in no particular sense of what's important and what's not.

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Let me tell you what's really getting me charged up.

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Do you know what last night opened?

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Let me try this in English.

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You know what opened last night.

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There we go on Broadway.

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Do you know what it was that absolutely has taken Broadway by storm?

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Do you have any idea Harry Potter, Harry Potter?

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Now I will tell you this much.

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I not familiar a lot of Harry Potter.

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I know who he is.

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I know what it is, the story that is.

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Okay.

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But what is it about?

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What is it?

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I got to give you a lot of my followers here.

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I don't believe in black magic.

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I don't believe in any of this stuff.

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It sounds like you believe in black magic.

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I'm sorry.

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Point of complete disclosure.

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I'm irreligious.

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I don't speak God and I don't speak French.

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I'm not saying the French people don't exist just because I don't understand what they're

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saying and I'm not saying there's no religion because I don't understand it.

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But I'm not into any of that stuff no matter what.

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So I don't react in horror from that point of view.

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But isn't it funny that right now as this world, this society of ours is being so contaminated

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I'm so excited to see where this is going.

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The fetid, the feculent, the rancid world of sex trafficking, sex abuse, human trafficking,

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cults, and the like.

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Here we go.

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By virtue of a couple who believe in symbology and letting you know everything that they

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do with hand signals and Instagram.

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That's all pizza game, baby.

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What is going on here?

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Do you think that's interesting?

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I think it is.

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I just want to give you that.

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Park it over there.

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Just make you say for no particular reason to say that's odd.

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Now I think it's terrific.

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People can see whatever they want.

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I don't care about it.

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But just think wizards, warlocks, magic spells, the occult, whatever.

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Does that scare you?

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Does that frighten you?

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Maybe, maybe not.

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But isn't that interesting because you know the more that I think we as humans elevate

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beyond that, the more I say, I see that we've never really evolved that we've been like

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this since we first crawled out of the ooze.

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Okay.

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It goes on for a while.

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Humans first crawled out of the ooze.

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Right.

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Is this some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles twos yet?

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I don't fucking know.

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He's got some point to make about Harry Potter being on Broadway.

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It has to do with weaving in like it's a distraction.

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It's a kid and there's magic and wizards and I don't fucking know.

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Did it make you stop and go?

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Hmm.

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That whole clip did.

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Yes, absolutely.

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I struggle to find the meaning.

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I struggle to find, I'm glad to hear he's a religious.

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That's certainly nice.

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Yeah.

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So we don't need to get too into the weeds of what he's talking about there because I

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think it's pretty obvious.

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Like if you just listen to that, it's nonsense.

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Okay.

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But it's important because he's weaving in these like sort of Pizzagate narratives, the

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idea of the hand gestures that goes back to a mis-interpreted.

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Well, the Instagram thing is straight up comet ping pong, right?

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James Elephantes.

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The hand gestures is in reference to a picture of John Podesta that everyone is misrepresented.

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Sure.

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It's very easy to understand what's going on in that picture with the hand gestures and

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what have you.

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It's all hot nonsense.

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But that should give you this sort of place where you need to be for this next clip to

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not be surprising at all.

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Let me make this first of all, unequivocally clear, limpid, pellucid.

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I want to add clarity, no ambiguity.

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Listen and listen good.

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I stand with Q, I stand with the Anons, I stand with these brilliant decoders who are

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just breathtakingly, I'm saying the word too much, brilliant.

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It's Bletchley Park.

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It's our own project enigma.

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It's our own cryptographers.

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It's brilliant.

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And I want to provide this because there are still folks coming around saying, what the

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hell are they talking about with this Q?

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Who's Q?

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Who's fighting?

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It's Harry Potter.

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It's probably Harry Potter.

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So look, I don't want to get too into this either because there's been a number of requests

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from people that we do an episode about QAnon.

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And I'm not going to say that we won't do it.

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But one of the reasons I've resisted doing it is that I think that there's a lot of other

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great resources out there of people who have been following it much more closely than I

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have, that I feel like it almost would be a disservice.

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The level of attention and insight that I could bring to it is not nearly on the level

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of a number of other people out there.

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But it may be something that we dive into at some point.

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And when we do, we'll talk more about it.

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For now, suffice it to say that Lionel is a huge QAnon guy.

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He thinks they are breathtaking.

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By the way, somebody burn his fucking thesaurus as soon as possible.

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This guy thinks he's Dennis Miller over here.

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What are we doing with every possible adjective?

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Just a long series of synonyms.

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The manufactured appearance of intelligence is what's going on here.

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Absolutely.

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He is irascible.

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He is annoying.

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He will never stop talking.

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I find it necessary to point this out and make it clear.

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I want to delineate exactly how silly he is from how silly he is not.

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And it is all silly, my friend.

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You need a thesaurus.

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You said silly three times.

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You need fucking Lionel's thesaurus.

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I'll take it.

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I don't mean to sit here and tell you that Lionel's an idiot or anything like that.

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Because Lionel's real name is Michael Lebron, and he's technically a lawyer, having graduated

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from Stetson University College of Law.

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Stetson's a small school with a current enrollment of 901 and a bar pass rate of 67.2 percent.

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For some context, according to the 2017 data from the Internet Legal Resource Group, that

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would make Stetson the 169th best law school in the country, tied with University of Detroit

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Mercy.

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Less than 50 percent of the 2017 graduates found work in law firms.

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OK.

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So it's not a great law school.

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This is what I'm getting at.

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It's not a good law school.

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Not a high reputation coming from this law school.

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67.2 is not a good percent for bar passage.

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I was just going to ask that.

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That's a D.

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Yeah.

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I would like to know more about University of Detroit Mercy, though.

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That sounds great.

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I would go there.

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It's very similar to Stetson in terms of...

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Anyway, Lionel was a trial lawyer for a bit, but according to his own bio, after O.J. Simpson

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got arrested, he decided to rebrand as Lionel.

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I can't stress enough, that's in his own bio.

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He wrote that.

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The trial of O.J. Simpson made me change my whole life around and get a new name.

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It made him decide to rebrand as Lionel and become a media personality on a local New

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York VHF station called PIX11.

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In 1999, Lionel got his own show on Court TV called Snap Judgment, where he would provide

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an irreverent, satirical look at legal news.

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It was canceled before 2000 came along.

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Gotcha.

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Very short-lived Court TV show.

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Yeah, what are you going to do?

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From then on, Lionel's career was largely radio-based.

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Interestingly, in April 2007, Lionel's show replaced the majority report with Sam Seder

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on Air America.

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Seder had been a fixture of the network literally since it launched, and this was a huge turn

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off for the listener base.

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According to many sources, replacing Sam's show with Lionel created a big backlash that

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lost the network a ton of subscribers and listeners.

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The writing was on the wall when Air America was sold to the Green Brothers in early 2007,

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but many consider replacing Sam with Lionel was the point when Air America truly died.

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Yeah, that was it.

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That was the point where everyone's like, well, all right, this is...

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Fuck this noise.

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Yeah.

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Uh, so when Air America went under, Lionel took a real serious hard turn to the right.

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He began appearing on Alex Jones's show on a fairly regular basis.

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He needed a gig.

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Right.

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But he also kept appearing on that VHF station, PIX11.

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And let me tell you this, all of his reports are still online.

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Hell yes.

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Hell yes.

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This is what...

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I want VHS or VHF.

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Hell yes.

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Today's episode, we'll be going over a number of Lionel's local New York TV news reports,

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seeing what kind of commentator he was.

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I like it.

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In 2011 and onwards.

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Okay.

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And seeing if we can track a certain bit of change that happens in the course of his rhetoric

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and his worldview over the years.

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I'm going to bring you back to one of the earliest videos that's still available.

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This one is, you know, he's a commentator.

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He's got druthers.

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He's got to complain about things.

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Enjoy.

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I should have probably warned you.

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He has a theme song.

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He has a mariachi inspired theme song.

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That's just his name.

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Over and over again.

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Lionel, Lionel.

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To the casual observer, New York in this country must be the exercise capitals of the world.

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You'd swear that we were obsessed with fitness.

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No, you're close.

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Not fitness.

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We're obsessed with fitness commercials and fads.

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Some of my favorites.

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First, the Russian kettlebell.

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It's a recycled hidden gems all over.

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Notice two things.

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First, as in the case of a perverted human behavior, when naming an exercise product,

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start off with the name of a place.

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Russia suggests hardcore Cleveland denotes.

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Well, you know, next now, who is laughing?

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You stop it.

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Those are the anchors.

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Stop it.

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Those are the anchors.

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Stop laughing right now.

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And you will see how sporadic that laughter is.

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I'll look closely, make the movement seem uncomfortable, humiliating, suggestive,

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and threatening the human reproduction.

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Next, if it looks stupid, they'll buy it.

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Look at this thing.

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It's seen everywhere.

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I call it the exercise cyst.

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Billions have been sold and they come in different sizes and colors.

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What is it?

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It's popular.

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That's what it is.

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Next, hire an obnoxious pitchman who screams at you the whole time.

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Like this guy.

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You're jealous.

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Make sure he's in great shape using methods you know never included the contraption he's using.

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Never have fat people or out of shape people anywhere near the thing you're advertising.

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Remember, you're selling dreams, not reminders.

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I'm going to cut this one short because I think we get the point.

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He's complaining about exercise equipment.

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This is essentially the grind my gears from Family Guy.

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You know what?

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Exactly.

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It's not far off.

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Yeah.

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I'm going to complain about exercise equipment.

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So what is his point?

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Ooh, exercise equipment.

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Stupid.

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Here's my, you know, it's kind of, uh, you know, there's a, there's a hackiness to it.

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There's a pointlessness to it.

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Oh yeah.

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I mean, it's one of those things like I understand life's tough, but like if you have a position

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where you're on television, you know, you think you would make use of that time.

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And like, really, if you're someone who has a lot to say, you know, don't waste your time

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talking about how exercise equipment is stupid, that's well, like well traveled ground.

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No, come on.

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It leads me to believe that maybe you're not, maybe don't have a lot to say.

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I might, I might agree with you.

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So a little bit later.

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Especially considering the fact that he uses a lot of words and essentially said,

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I don't like exercise equipment.

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I think it's kind of a scam.

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Which I mean, fine.

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Could have, yeah, yeah.

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Could have gotten that out.

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Could have gotten that out in a sentence.

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Um, so a little bit after this, maybe a week or two after this, probably, uh, he comes

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in with another hot take.

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This one, this one is going to burn.

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Oh no.

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It's going to burn your hand.

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Okay.

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Why isn't that our intro?

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The Supreme court will decide whether the government can ban the Delta or rather video

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games sold to minors.

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Now, what will they decide?

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Simple.

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They can do anything they want for any reason whatsoever.

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But the real issue is whether violent video games destroy minds of kids.

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And the answer is yes.

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Talk to any teen gamer, a kid who plays non-stop for hours.

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Look at him.

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Does he have that blank and vapid stare?

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Does he mumble?

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So that even Demosthenes would say, wow, look at that fake internalized world of gamers.

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And you'll see that there's something very, very wrong there.

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And it's not so much that the games are violent.

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It's that they're repetitive and mind numbing gamers become catatonic after hours of this

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vacuous exercise.

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There's no socialization and conviviating.

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Sure.

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They may have some other like-minded zombie who's logged onto the game from some corner

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of the world, but that ain't socialization.

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You know, parents used to just worry about kids getting high or stoned on married.

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And while I don't advocate its use, I sure as heck would prefer any activity that actually

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involved and encouraged social interaction as opposed to the video lobotomy.

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And to call it a game is a riot game.

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If you took lifers and supermax and subjected them to nonstop staring at a computer monitor

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where aliens are killed by way of a joystick for hours and hours at a clip, Amnesty International

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would be all over you.

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I think he thinks that all video games are just space invaders or whatever.

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Like he's stuck in that and not realizing that a lot of games have like really compelling

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narrative structures to them.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Staring at a computer screen.

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Dude, also, also, yeah, you know, the most social drug out there is weed.

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You know, you know how when you get high, you don't just, you know, sit around and eat

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Chinese food.

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You go out with a lot of friends and you get your jollies off.

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Sure, the drug that makes like, I don't know, 20% of the people who smoke it incredibly

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scared of other people.

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Yeah, exactly.

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There was even a PSA.

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Do you remember the PSA commercial where the kid smoked marijuana and then sunk into the

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chair and became flat?

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That's the point.

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Wait, are you quoting drug PSAs?

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Exactly.

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Okay.

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Whoa, meth.

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Ooh, meth.

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You might as well be quoting a Lionel report.

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Anyway, he has more to say about video games.

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Okay.

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Let me try to articulate my thoughts precisely.

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Let me, let me try to explicate and limb thoroughly my objections.

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It's turning kids into cyborgs, antisocial duds, children who've lost the appreciation

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of mere eye contact, kids who will one day try to interview for a job and will be shocked

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when they're 86.

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A kid who, I'll bet, never shakes the interviewer's hand.

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And if so, it's that creepy squishy non-committal jello hand squeeze thing.

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He has no discernible handwriting or penmanship skills because he's never used a pen for most,

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if not all of his life.

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And let's throw into the mix the teen boo Radley of today who enjoys a self-created

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sense of entitlement.

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And God only knows the amount of medication that's been prescribed in more cases than

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you can imagine to dampen what's left of a gamer's paralyzed personality.

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Yeah.

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So pass all the laws you want.

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That's what we need, right?

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Parents, look at me.

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Games are fun.

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Games make you happy.

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These aren't games.

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These aren't toys.

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This isn't funny.

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Let me know what you think.

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Contact me at the mind numbing graphics.

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So has he ever played a video game?

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I don't fucking know.

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So what is he describing?

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I don't, I don't know.

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He's describing just being completely clueless about the topics he's covering.

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Now I think that you can already see that what we've got is a hot take machine on our

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hands.

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Oh man.

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So that's one issue, but there is a fundamental problem with us doing this episode.

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And that is that Lionel is also trying to be funny.

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I know it's not going well.

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There is a piece of this that is unfortunately, we're going to have to drift into deconstruction

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of humor and stuff like that because he's trying to be funny, but behind that, there

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are points that he's trying to make.

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And so we could still talk about the points he's trying to make, even though he's trying

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to make them in a humorous way.

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Right.

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I think he's against video games, I guess, but he seems to also, if you hear the end

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of that, be against the idea of legislating against the video game.

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That's what we need.

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He's just against everything.

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He's a negative.

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What is this?

Unknown Speaker (00:27:42.740)

Connor Friedersdorf?

Unknown Speaker (00:27:43.700)

Come on now.

Unknown Speaker (00:27:44.259)

He's just manifesting a crank.

Unknown Speaker (00:27:47.460)

He's just a cranky old shaking his fist at video games and the parents who allow their

Unknown Speaker (00:27:53.059)

kids to become penless zombies.

Unknown Speaker (00:27:57.299)

Yeah, they don't have penmanship, Dan.

Unknown Speaker (00:27:59.539)

You play so many video games, you literally have a pen in your hand right now.

Unknown Speaker (00:28:02.740)

I know.

Unknown Speaker (00:28:03.539)

And I can't write with it.

Unknown Speaker (00:28:04.819)

It's unfortunate.

Unknown Speaker (00:28:05.700)

I have no discernible penmanship.

Unknown Speaker (00:28:07.539)

It's all just for show.

Unknown Speaker (00:28:11.059)

They have no penmanship.

Unknown Speaker (00:28:12.740)

So exercise equipment sucks.

Unknown Speaker (00:28:14.980)

Right.

Unknown Speaker (00:28:15.619)

Video games turn you into a cyborg.

Unknown Speaker (00:28:18.900)

Even it's not about the violence of the video games.

Unknown Speaker (00:28:21.140)

I think that's my favorite part of the take is that he's not even doing the regular take.

Unknown Speaker (00:28:25.460)

He's just like, hey, you think violent video games are bad.

Unknown Speaker (00:28:28.339)

All video games turn you into the demons.

Unknown Speaker (00:28:30.900)

Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (00:28:31.299)

Pac-Man will make you unemployable.

Unknown Speaker (00:28:34.180)

Great.

Unknown Speaker (00:28:34.579)

How do you shake somebody's hand whenever it's so gnarled?

Unknown Speaker (00:28:39.700)

It's got so much arthritis from the joystick.

Unknown Speaker (00:28:42.660)

Oh yeah.

Unknown Speaker (00:28:43.380)

So if that take was boiling, right?

Unknown Speaker (00:28:46.339)

Hot.

Unknown Speaker (00:28:46.819)

This next one is nuclear.

Unknown Speaker (00:28:58.019)

I would like to take this opportunity to describe a subject of great annoyance to me.

Unknown Speaker (00:29:02.420)

I know what you're thinking with all the problems and unspeakable horrors that the world suffers.

Unknown Speaker (00:29:07.700)

How bad can my annoyance possibly be?

Unknown Speaker (00:29:10.579)

Let me worry about that.

Unknown Speaker (00:29:11.700)

Okay.

Unknown Speaker (00:29:12.259)

And frankly, I don't need that attitude, Missy.

Unknown Speaker (00:29:14.980)

Now, where was it?

Unknown Speaker (00:29:15.700)

Oh yeah, my annoyance.

Unknown Speaker (00:29:17.460)

Backpacks, big purses, satchels, bags, anything slung over the shoulder or affixed,

Unknown Speaker (00:29:23.619)

attached to or suspended from the back.

Unknown Speaker (00:29:26.180)

And it contains space like a subway car.

Unknown Speaker (00:29:28.660)

I loathe.

Unknown Speaker (00:29:30.740)

Yet again, one's desire for totability and portability outweighs any discomfort,

Unknown Speaker (00:29:36.420)

inconvenience, or pain that having some bag or purse shoved into you by an inconsiderate,

Unknown Speaker (00:29:41.859)

self-centered egocentric and selfish bore who believes she's the center of the universe.

Unknown Speaker (00:29:47.380)

A universe you are merely permitted to wallow in.

Unknown Speaker (00:29:50.660)

It's their world.

Unknown Speaker (00:29:52.099)

Maybe it's me.

Unknown Speaker (00:29:52.900)

Maybe I'm a freak of nature.

Unknown Speaker (00:29:54.740)

Maybe I'm possessed with some superhuman sentience and sensitivity because I can tell

Unknown Speaker (00:30:00.579)

when some Sherpa-like backpack that I might wear slams into some helpless strap hanger

Unknown Speaker (00:30:05.940)

for two reasons.

Unknown Speaker (00:30:06.900)

One, keen tactile sensitivity, and two, the incessant screams of someone yelling,

Unknown Speaker (00:30:12.900)

you're hurting me.

Unknown Speaker (00:30:14.259)

Look, Bloomberg, you want to pass a law that actually makes sense?

Unknown Speaker (00:30:17.539)

That doesn't fascistically extinguish yet another civil liberty?

Unknown Speaker (00:30:21.700)

Pass line of law that makes one criminally liable for up to five years at hard labor

Unknown Speaker (00:30:27.220)

for wearing a backpack or a satchel or bag looped over or suspended via a shoulder strap

Unknown Speaker (00:30:32.660)

that touches, abuts, intrudes upon, or in any way brings pain to or inconveniences a subway

Unknown Speaker (00:30:38.660)

passenger or anyone who must share close confines and whose incredibly horrible luck through

Unknown Speaker (00:30:44.660)

some sick draw of the human idiot lottery positions them next to said idiot.

Unknown Speaker (00:30:50.019)

What we're seeing is the systematic disregard for the feelings and comfort of others.

Unknown Speaker (00:30:54.500)

Exhibit A, the devolution of our once proud society.

Unknown Speaker (00:30:59.059)

Comment as you see fit.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:01.380)

What the fuck?

Unknown Speaker (00:31:02.420)

All right.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:03.299)

So if I understand correctly, right.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:06.019)

Tote bags, bad shopping bags, bad satchels.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:11.619)

I'm not even ready to get into backpacks.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:13.700)

Backpacks are way down the line.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:14.900)

That's pretty serious stuff.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:15.940)

I'm trying to figure out how to get there.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:18.019)

That's the crack of this conversation.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:19.779)

You know, all of that, all of that is why our society is falling apart.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:25.539)

I know that that's part of the bad comedy.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:27.619)

Like that's him being hyperbole in the same way, saying like five years of hard labor.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:31.460)

I'm not going to respond to that in a serious way, but I am going to respond to like, why

Unknown Speaker (00:31:35.460)

did you waste everyone's time with this hacky, washed over bit?

Unknown Speaker (00:31:38.500)

Like this is a bad bit.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:39.940)

Hey, people with backpacks on the train suck.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:42.019)

Go to any open mic.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:43.059)

You'll hear that bit.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:43.859)

This is low.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:44.740)

This is low hanging fruit.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:46.740)

This requires no creativity.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:48.420)

There's no point of view, no perspective whatsoever.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:51.619)

This is trash.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:52.740)

Like this is legit trash.

Unknown Speaker (00:31:55.220)

I am struggling to remember why the 80s comedy boom ended.

Unknown Speaker (00:32:00.259)

And I can't fucking Lionel.

Unknown Speaker (00:32:01.779)

I killed air America.

Unknown Speaker (00:32:04.900)

It's possible.

Unknown Speaker (00:32:07.299)

So the quality was just so high back then, Dan, no fucking backpacks on the train.

Unknown Speaker (00:32:13.859)

That what would, where would they go then?

Unknown Speaker (00:32:16.980)

Like, I know that like that part about like hard labor and all that stuff is kind of,

Unknown Speaker (00:32:21.059)

it's a joke, right?

Unknown Speaker (00:32:22.019)

But if you even think about what he's saying, like, what would you do?

Unknown Speaker (00:32:26.180)

Like, would you want to make a rule in place where people can't have bags?

Unknown Speaker (00:32:30.660)

Like how, like how draconian would that be?

Unknown Speaker (00:32:34.900)

What kind of a nightmare fascist nanny state would be living in there?

Unknown Speaker (00:32:38.819)

Like no backpacks in public.

Unknown Speaker (00:32:40.660)

So, so we have to have armed guards near every door of the confiscate.

Unknown Speaker (00:32:45.859)

Everyone's bags, right?

Unknown Speaker (00:32:47.299)

Put them on a, like in a cannon and shoot them to the, in the direction of their house.

Unknown Speaker (00:32:51.539)

Right.

Unknown Speaker (00:32:51.859)

Fair.

Unknown Speaker (00:32:52.259)

So it'll land there.

Unknown Speaker (00:32:53.140)

And you can find, if you have like, uh, you know, things that are like, might break.

Unknown Speaker (00:32:57.859)

Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (00:32:58.180)

That's on you.

Unknown Speaker (00:32:58.819)

Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (00:32:59.220)

That's your fault.

Unknown Speaker (00:32:59.859)

You should have known about the cannon policy.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:01.220)

You know, people are going to get around this by smuggling bags in, you know, they're going

Unknown Speaker (00:33:05.380)

to get through the security guards and you know how they're going to hide the bag in

Unknown Speaker (00:33:09.700)

a bigger bag.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:10.339)

Probably.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:10.819)

Yep.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:11.299)

Look, I get it.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:11.940)

You'll never catch them.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:12.660)

I get it.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:13.220)

It's nice to be considerate to people, but like, let's say if you're taking the blue

Unknown Speaker (00:33:17.220)

line to O'Hare or something like that, or coming back from O'Hare on the blue line.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:20.500)

No luggage.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:21.059)

No luggage.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:23.220)

You can never really be that upset by people with luggage on the train because they're

Unknown Speaker (00:33:28.579)

going somewhere.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:29.460)

I am.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:30.259)

I'm furious with them and they need to do five years hard labor.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:33.859)

I'm glad you should never have taken the train to get to the trip.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:37.779)

I'm pissed off.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:38.500)

Also, you shouldn't have bags and planes.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:41.059)

Well, now what you're really critiquing, not the bags and planes thing, but like you shouldn't

Unknown Speaker (00:33:44.740)

take the train to the airport.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:46.900)

What you're critiquing is them not being able to afford a cab.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:49.539)

Right.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:49.940)

Now you're getting into some real class punching down issues.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:53.220)

Oh, come on.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:54.819)

You know hat comedians never punch down?

Unknown Speaker (00:33:58.579)

That'd be crazy.

Unknown Speaker (00:33:59.859)

So there's no way to really put a finer point on this than to say this is terrible.

Unknown Speaker (00:34:06.819)

Yeah, he is not good at jokes.

Unknown Speaker (00:34:08.820)

This is very bad stuff from a comedic perspective and just from like a being interesting perspective.

Unknown Speaker (00:34:13.460)

But I did find, I should say I watched so many goddamn Lionel videos.

Unknown Speaker (00:34:18.019)

It sounds great.

Unknown Speaker (00:34:18.980)

Purely, purely for the theme song that he enters into.

Unknown Speaker (00:34:23.380)

And it's interesting because in these early days, he has a perspective that's kind of

Unknown Speaker (00:34:30.980)

cranky old man hack.

Unknown Speaker (00:34:32.820)

Certainly.

Unknown Speaker (00:34:33.219)

We've seen that.

Unknown Speaker (00:34:34.820)

But he also comes in with a little bit of decent analysis every now and again that might

Unknown Speaker (00:34:40.900)

surprise you.

Unknown Speaker (00:34:41.539)

I think this next clip, I mean this completely non facetiously.

Unknown Speaker (00:34:46.260)

This next clip is a little bit surprising.

Unknown Speaker (00:34:57.780)

It is rare that I don't care about something.

Unknown Speaker (00:35:00.179)

I have opinions about everything and I mean everything.

Unknown Speaker (00:35:04.659)

So what's most odd that I can say the following as to Donald Trump's, I guess birther claims,

Unknown Speaker (00:35:10.579)

namely that either the president wasn't born in this country or that there's something

Unknown Speaker (00:35:15.460)

fishy about the history of past.

Unknown Speaker (00:35:18.179)

I can say unequivocally, I don't care.

Unknown Speaker (00:35:21.300)

And that's odd because if the allegations are true, that the president's term and administration

Unknown Speaker (00:35:25.699)

are invalidated and everything he's ordered or caused to happen heretofore are in fact

Unknown Speaker (00:35:30.260)

a constitutional nullity.

Unknown Speaker (00:35:32.659)

But here we are halfway through his first term and we're talking about it now.

Unknown Speaker (00:35:37.380)

Okay, Donnie, make your case.

Unknown Speaker (00:35:39.860)

And this is where it falls flat.

Unknown Speaker (00:35:41.619)

You see, maybe it's the prosecutor in me, but call me wacky.

Unknown Speaker (00:35:45.860)

I want this thing called proof.

Unknown Speaker (00:35:49.460)

Make your case and something fishy ain't exactly a cause of action.

Unknown Speaker (00:35:54.340)

Now, I don't know, maybe for example, something like maybe a Kenyan birth certificate or somebody

Unknown Speaker (00:36:00.179)

proving that his Hawaiian certificate of live birth is a forgery.

Unknown Speaker (00:36:03.780)

That might be nice.

Unknown Speaker (00:36:04.500)

That's something.

Unknown Speaker (00:36:05.380)

And the country, as per usual, couldn't care less about this or elections or the Constitution

Unknown Speaker (00:36:10.260)

or anything.

Unknown Speaker (00:36:11.139)

They're not exactly rioting in the streets over the issue.

Unknown Speaker (00:36:14.019)

But I love the fact that he's driving MSNBC's Chris Matthews crazy.

Unknown Speaker (00:36:19.940)

And that's not a very long ride.

Unknown Speaker (00:36:22.579)

Thank you, Joe.

Unknown Speaker (00:36:23.860)

Anything that makes him turn, beat red and yell and produce voluminous and prodigious

Unknown Speaker (00:36:28.099)

pools of saliva makes me happy.

Unknown Speaker (00:36:30.659)

So, Donnie, as far as being the Torquemada, the Grand Inquisitor and prosecutor of the

Unknown Speaker (00:36:35.139)

claim, you're fired.

Unknown Speaker (00:36:36.980)

Your claim so far, what's the word, suck.

Unknown Speaker (00:36:40.579)

But you're driving Chris Matthews batty.

Unknown Speaker (00:36:45.380)

And I love that.

Unknown Speaker (00:36:46.420)

So keep it up.

Unknown Speaker (00:36:47.300)

And one more worried about Mr. Drool Cup, the hardball dude.

Unknown Speaker (00:36:50.579)

You know and I know that if he had any doubt about Sarah Palin's birth country, he'd be

Unknown Speaker (00:36:55.300)

all over it.

Unknown Speaker (00:36:56.179)

You know what's true, Matthews?

Unknown Speaker (00:36:57.699)

You know it's true.

Unknown Speaker (00:36:58.820)

And finally, I personally hate people who think they're funny when they're not.

Unknown Speaker (00:37:03.619)

Next to leprosy, that tops my list of stuff I loathe.

Unknown Speaker (00:37:11.780)

So it's leprosy and people who think they're funny.

Unknown Speaker (00:37:16.980)

I'm going to leave that there for a second.

Unknown Speaker (00:37:18.500)

Let him finish the clip.

Unknown Speaker (00:37:19.380)

But that is a crazy one, too, of things you're mad about.

Unknown Speaker (00:37:23.699)

So I hereby announce and declare that all Donald Trump hair jokes have been used.

Unknown Speaker (00:37:28.739)

And from here on, the comedic subject matter is absolutely and thoroughly exhausted.

Unknown Speaker (00:37:33.380)

So stop.

Unknown Speaker (00:37:34.420)

There is nothing new, novel or vaguely unique about anything of an end relating to or pertaining

Unknown Speaker (00:37:39.460)

to that that thing on his head.

Unknown Speaker (00:37:41.219)

So please, it's over.

Unknown Speaker (00:37:43.380)

OK, all right, fine.

Unknown Speaker (00:37:45.460)

I don't I mean, here's here's my first thought.

Unknown Speaker (00:37:49.300)

All right.

Unknown Speaker (00:37:49.619)

With that with that blistering non take, I guess.

Unknown Speaker (00:37:54.260)

I mean, I think for for someone who ends up becoming a QAnon expert and a frequent Alex

Unknown Speaker (00:38:00.179)

Jones devotee, regular guest, I think I think I think the idea of him saying years back,

Unknown Speaker (00:38:07.699)

Donald Trump, please shut up about this unless you can prove it.

Unknown Speaker (00:38:11.619)

As far as you being in charge of this birth certificate nonsense, you're fired.

Unknown Speaker (00:38:16.019)

I think that's pretty that's a take.

Unknown Speaker (00:38:18.420)

Like, oh, it might not be in the general population.

Unknown Speaker (00:38:22.179)

Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (00:38:22.579)

But in the population of Alex Jones guests and stuff like that, that's shocking to hear.

Unknown Speaker (00:38:27.139)

I am a big fan of the I need proof to I think Q is great.

Unknown Speaker (00:38:33.940)

Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (00:38:34.340)

Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (00:38:34.500)

It's a crazy transformation.

Unknown Speaker (00:38:35.699)

And I can tell you why that happened.

Unknown Speaker (00:38:37.300)

Now, here's my question.

Unknown Speaker (00:38:39.860)

He clearly hates people who think they're funny when they're not.

Unknown Speaker (00:38:42.659)

But you said as much and he thinks he's funny and he's not.

Unknown Speaker (00:38:47.139)

So that leads me to believe he also has leprosy.

Unknown Speaker (00:38:52.260)

That's the only way to explain transitive property.

Unknown Speaker (00:38:54.820)

Yeah, exactly.

Unknown Speaker (00:38:56.260)

But he's just another example of like someone who's a failed humor kind of person who ends

Unknown Speaker (00:39:01.059)

up supporting fascism.

Unknown Speaker (00:39:02.739)

No, come on.

Unknown Speaker (00:39:03.699)

Just yet another.

Unknown Speaker (00:39:05.940)

So I think that that take is interesting in the world of his tapes.

Unknown Speaker (00:39:11.539)

Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (00:39:12.019)

I should say that there's a lot of ones we're not going to listen to at all, like things

Unknown Speaker (00:39:15.300)

where he's against globalism or the Federal Reserve and stuff like that, because it's

Unknown Speaker (00:39:19.139)

like it's what you'd expect.

Unknown Speaker (00:39:21.059)

It's not an anomaly.

Unknown Speaker (00:39:22.260)

It's like, OK, yeah.

Unknown Speaker (00:39:24.340)

Should we waste our time confirming that this guy who loves Ron Paul and all that even back

Unknown Speaker (00:39:29.380)

then, yeah, believes the things that anybody who loves Ron Paul believes?

Unknown Speaker (00:39:33.300)

Right.

Unknown Speaker (00:39:33.699)

Not really.

Unknown Speaker (00:39:34.420)

It's not worth our time.

Unknown Speaker (00:39:35.460)

Of course not.

Unknown Speaker (00:39:36.179)

What is worth our time is this blistering surface of the sun level take that he's got

Unknown Speaker (00:39:45.059)

about holidays, according to the National Retail Federation report, seven in 10 Americans

Unknown Speaker (00:40:00.260)

will celebrate the most insidious and pathetic public spectacle known Halloween.

Unknown Speaker (00:40:08.420)

This year, Americans are expected to spend an average of seventy two dollars each with

Unknown Speaker (00:40:13.860)

total outlays by consumers expected to reach six point eight six billion dollars.

Unknown Speaker (00:40:20.260)

Is that a lot?

Unknown Speaker (00:40:21.300)

Does he think that seventy dollars is a lot or is that is that not enough?

Unknown Speaker (00:40:26.980)

I don't understand what he's just saying numbers.

Unknown Speaker (00:40:29.539)

And I don't think if you live in some sort of a neighborhood and like buying seventy

Unknown Speaker (00:40:33.059)

dollars worth of candy to give to the kids on Halloween, that's a lot of candy.

Unknown Speaker (00:40:36.739)

It's a lot of candy.

Unknown Speaker (00:40:37.539)

But I also don't see it as like woo numbers.

Unknown Speaker (00:40:42.579)

It's Halloween, Dan.

Unknown Speaker (00:40:43.460)

Of course, it's woo numbers.

Unknown Speaker (00:40:45.699)

I don't think that's a meaningful statistic in this context.

Unknown Speaker (00:40:48.500)

Also, like, oh, they're going to spend six point billion dollars.

Unknown Speaker (00:40:54.019)

So, you know, somebody's getting that money like I want this part of the economy shut

Unknown Speaker (00:40:59.460)

down.

Unknown Speaker (00:40:59.780)

But I agree there.

Unknown Speaker (00:41:01.380)

But if you said like everybody on average is spending three hundred and eighty dollars,

Unknown Speaker (00:41:06.340)

I'd be like, that seems like we need to consider this.

Unknown Speaker (00:41:08.739)

Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (00:41:09.139)

Seventy is within the realm of like that's just a lot of candy for a lot of kids.

Unknown Speaker (00:41:13.380)

Which is a crime.

Unknown Speaker (00:41:15.780)

Or there are those people who spend so much money on their crazy house decorations and

Unknown Speaker (00:41:20.260)

bump the average up.

Unknown Speaker (00:41:21.300)

Right.

Unknown Speaker (00:41:21.539)

So there's also that to consider.

Unknown Speaker (00:41:22.980)

But who cares?

Unknown Speaker (00:41:23.860)

This guy's dumb.

Unknown Speaker (00:41:25.539)

For what?

Unknown Speaker (00:41:26.579)

A pagan ceremony and celebration that has been commandeered by a sick and demented group

Unknown Speaker (00:41:32.500)

of psychologically twisted people, namely adults.

Unknown Speaker (00:41:35.380)

What, like valence or something?

Unknown Speaker (00:41:36.099)

There's nothing more pathetic than to hear a grown adult man or woman talking yammer

Unknown Speaker (00:41:40.980)

on incessantly about the cool costume they'll buy or what they'll be.

Unknown Speaker (00:41:46.579)

Translation.

Unknown Speaker (00:41:47.699)

I'm nothing.

Unknown Speaker (00:41:48.579)

A zero.

Unknown Speaker (00:41:49.460)

A human nullity.

Unknown Speaker (00:41:50.980)

But for this one night, I'll become something, anything but this miserable empty vessel and

Unknown Speaker (00:41:56.179)

vapid zero that I call me.

Unknown Speaker (00:41:59.219)

It gives women the chance to strut about like trollops, slatterns and spikes all under the

Unknown Speaker (00:42:04.099)

excuse of Halloween celebrations.

Unknown Speaker (00:42:06.980)

Translation.

Unknown Speaker (00:42:08.099)

I'm a zero.

Unknown Speaker (00:42:09.219)

A sexual empty set.

Unknown Speaker (00:42:11.059)

I'd be safe.

Unknown Speaker (00:42:12.019)

No, no.

Unknown Speaker (00:42:12.340)

The Greek galley ship or in a lumberjack camp tonight.

Unknown Speaker (00:42:16.659)

Tonight, I'm the sexy nurse.

Unknown Speaker (00:42:18.659)

A scantily clad Bo Peep, the syphilitic French maid.

Unknown Speaker (00:42:24.019)

Halloween for me will always be that of my youth.

Unknown Speaker (00:42:26.820)

Well, you got a costume in a box and it consisted of a mask whose eye holes didn't match up

Unknown Speaker (00:42:32.179)

in a way to the orbital radius of a child.

Unknown Speaker (00:42:34.820)

It doesn't affect blinding you, and it was held on with the flimby piece of elastic that

Unknown Speaker (00:42:41.139)

fastened with a t-bone metal fastener.

Unknown Speaker (00:42:43.860)

That cape or costume had the design of a hospital examination robe and was made of a substance

Unknown Speaker (00:42:51.219)

that made a bookies flash paper look like asbestos.

Unknown Speaker (00:42:54.579)

They swore the costumes were safe.

Unknown Speaker (00:42:56.980)

Check out this train on PC label flame retarded.

Unknown Speaker (00:43:01.059)

Ah, boo.

Unknown Speaker (00:43:05.059)

He thinks he's being super edgy there in terms like flame retardant.

Unknown Speaker (00:43:09.699)

Get it?

Unknown Speaker (00:43:10.099)

Yeah, yeah.

Unknown Speaker (00:43:10.579)

These PC people wouldn't be cool with that.

Unknown Speaker (00:43:13.139)

He thinks that's a great joke.

Unknown Speaker (00:43:14.340)

It's the same thing with like oriental.

Unknown Speaker (00:43:16.099)

You can call a rug oriental.

Unknown Speaker (00:43:17.539)

Like you can all think.

Unknown Speaker (00:43:18.579)

PC people wouldn't like that.

Unknown Speaker (00:43:20.260)

They don't mind.

Unknown Speaker (00:43:21.059)

It's totally fine to call like an oriental vase or something like that.

Unknown Speaker (00:43:24.579)

How dare you?

Unknown Speaker (00:43:25.059)

People are not.

Unknown Speaker (00:43:26.579)

In the same way that like flame retardant or, you know, there's a retarder that you need

Unknown Speaker (00:43:31.460)

to use for bread preparation, like that sort of thing.

Unknown Speaker (00:43:34.340)

Because retard means to delay, to slow down, that sort of thing.

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So flame retardant is a delay or slower down of flame.

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That's a term.

Unknown Speaker (00:43:43.619)

It's not OK to apply that term to people.

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He's not being edgy at all, but he thinks he is.

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I know.

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Really thinks he's scoring a point.

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He is.

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He's making an accusation about these imaginary PC people that he's so against or worried

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about that isn't a point anyone would make.

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No, that nobody would care about.

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He's not quite done.

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I think my favorite part of him, though, so far, is that he's not even like an old crank

Unknown Speaker (00:44:08.980)

where he's like, it was better back in my day.

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I think he's just more like, I hate everything.

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Kind of.

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For no reason.

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Except QAnon and Ron Paul back then.

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Right.

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Ouch.

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Ouch.

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Because of the consistency of the polyester torch fabric, ventilation was nonexistent

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and hyperthermia would set in within 10 minutes of your nighttime death stroll.

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You'd put on this thermal blanket that would go up like a torch for you to get anywhere

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near an open flame, affix your mask that effectively acted like a blindfold, and you'd

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make your way to the night alone, knocking on strange neighbors' doors.

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Think Boo Radley meets Ed Gein.

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And part of the fun was hearing the stories of kids slip the apple with the razor blade.

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And the image stuck with me to this day.

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Now, that was Halloween.

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Not this tawdry, demented garbage today.

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Trick or treat.

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Comment as you see fit.

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Comment as you see fit.

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That's his sign-off?

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It's become his good night and good luck as time goes on.

Unknown Speaker (00:45:15.480)

He incorporated it a little bit down the line and he stuck to it.

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I don't like the idea that he's talking about the idea of razor blades being in apples as

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a positive thing that he remembers.

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That was Halloween.

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That was Halloween.

Unknown Speaker (00:45:27.159)

Yeah, constant fear.

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Yeah, and about the people laughing, the only explanation I can come up with, because I've

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watched so many of these and most of it's pity laughter, but that was a big load of

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laughter.

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And I think it's because it's a Halloween episode and they're drunk.

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I'm guessing they're drunk in studio, just like, it gives a shit it's a holiday.

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We get to drink at work.

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I think it would be funny to watch this if I was in a UHF station.

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VHF.

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Uh, VHF.

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Jesus.

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I'm not doing great.

Unknown Speaker (00:45:59.400)

It's all right.

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If I was there and I saw this happening live, I think I would find it hilarious, but not

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because of what he was saying.

Unknown Speaker (00:46:07.239)

No, in the same way watching someone bomb at an open mic often will laugh.

Unknown Speaker (00:46:10.599)

Oh, it's my favorite thing.

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It's like, wow, wow.

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Hacky bits about Halloween.

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You got them.

Unknown Speaker (00:46:17.960)

Yeah.

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I don't want people to laugh at this.

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I more want the people there just to be like pumping their fists in the air, like, yeah,

Unknown Speaker (00:46:27.400)

man, you take them down.

Unknown Speaker (00:46:29.559)

Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (00:46:30.280)

So as time goes on, Lionel starts to have a slight transformation, I believe.

Unknown Speaker (00:46:37.719)

And I think you can trace it to around when the second term of Obama starts to come around.

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When the reelection campaign starts getting going, you start to see a little bit more

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weird things being said.

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Because up to this point, this is like the stuff that we're not covering is the stuff

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you'd expect.

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I wonder if he doesn't like hip hop music.

Unknown Speaker (00:46:59.880)

No, although that would fit right in with it.

Unknown Speaker (00:47:02.599)

Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (00:47:03.079)

Like what this is, is like the real deal with Bill McNeil.

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Yeah.

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One hundred percent just basically the real deal even had its own theme song.

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So it is exactly that Lionel is living a news radio bit.

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Basically, the real deal with Bill McNeil, Lionel, Lionel, Lionel, Lionel.

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I'm intending to drive the audience crazy by playing that forever.

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I want to hear that theme song.

Unknown Speaker (00:47:30.119)

I want I here's what I would prefer.

Unknown Speaker (00:47:32.519)

Don't worry, you're going to hear it at least six or seven more times.

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I want to hear it every single time.

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I think what I would do if I was going to punch up his show, play the theme song, and

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then do a lightning round of just him with any topic.

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Just like, hey, how do you feel about paper?

Unknown Speaker (00:47:49.079)

Too lame, too big.

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How do you feel about bah?

Unknown Speaker (00:47:51.880)

How do you feel about bah?

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Get it get it in and out within two minutes.

Unknown Speaker (00:47:55.239)

It'd be great.

Unknown Speaker (00:47:55.800)

I honestly don't think that would be great.

Unknown Speaker (00:47:58.519)

No, I'm going to go with editing.

Unknown Speaker (00:48:00.360)

Zero, zero adjectives.

Unknown Speaker (00:48:02.199)

If I were going to help bump this up, what I would do is a page one rewrite.

Unknown Speaker (00:48:08.119)

There's just the whole thing?

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I would recast it.

Unknown Speaker (00:48:10.119)

You'd recast it?

Unknown Speaker (00:48:11.000)

I'd probably take it out of PIX11.

Unknown Speaker (00:48:13.320)

Seems like not a great environment for this sort of thing.

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I would rewrite all the bits.

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I would change the perspective of the show.

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I would do everything differently.

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Oh, wait, I just wouldn't do it.

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I'm going to be honest.

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I do find he's got a certain amount of showmanship.

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I mean, appeal.

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I can see he's got a certain amount of like, oh, I can see what you're doing.

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I can see why you got this job.

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He presents as someone who's having fun.

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And there's a little bit of that that is infectious.

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But beyond that, I can't say much for it.

Unknown Speaker (00:48:50.760)

No.

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So like I said, as the reelection starts to come around, you start to see a shifting.

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And I can say this as someone who watched too many of these videos,

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this clip really struck me as pretty weird.

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You know, when I like something, I like it.

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And I don't care what you think or what's popular or hip or in.

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If I like it, I like it.

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And if I don't like it, I don't.

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Now, in fact, the best way to kill my endorsement of anything

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is to tell me that everybody's digging it.

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Take W as in the press, POTUS, Bush 43.

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George Bush is making the rounds, pushing his book decision points.

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And listen to me carefully and look at me.

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I like him.

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How does the president him?

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I don't know what happens to a president.

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They they leave office and they let their guard down.

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They they change.

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Remember Bob Dole?

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OK, he ran for president, but for years he was this stiff, a stick in the mud.

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And then he leaves office and he became the poster child for Edie and Viagra.

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By the way, you know what happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?

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He gets taller.

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And George Bush has qualities I like.

Unknown Speaker (00:50:04.199)

OK, first.

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Now, here's a word you'll never hear anybody ever use on TV because,

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A, they don't know it.

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And B, they think you're stupid.

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I don't.

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Bush was a cackle-epist, a mispronouncer, nuclear.

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Remember that one?

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He was king of the malaprop.

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He said parents wanted to put food on their family.

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Fine, I know that scared me, too.

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I could only imagine him on a secure phone reading the nuclear code backwards.

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But I like his sortitude.

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Dog on it, make up your mind.

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Fisher, get off the pot.

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See, now he's got me doing it.

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Now, he won't slam Obama.

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He says now that he's always said about the war,

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he said the same thing about the war in Saddam and WMD.

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He's the decider and could not care less what you or I or polls think.

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I must admit the bit with Barbara Bush and the miscarriage and the fetus in the jar.

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Loved it.

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OK, a little different.

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And I like his honesty about drinking.

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You know, some have suggested that he's a dry drunk.

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You know, he stopped drinking but didn't get sober.

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Yeah, 24 years ago.

Unknown Speaker (00:50:57.480)

But that's admirable.

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In a society with the Charlie Shains and Lindsay Lohans spiraling out of control,

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he took control of himself.

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He never chased women or compromised national security

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by opening himself up to blackmail, playing hide the Panatella.

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He's not the worst president.

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That was Franklin Pierce hands down.

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As a president, meh.

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But don't kid yourself.

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Obama is exactly the same.

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But as a man, a human being, I like him.

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Almost as much as the 22nd Amendment.

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Comment as you see fit.

Unknown Speaker (00:51:27.719)

So that's weird.

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For someone who ended up as a QAnon conspiracy theorist

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who believes that the Bush family and the Clinton cabal

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and all that are intertwined and all that.

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And I find this very strange.

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I find this to be very weird.

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Like the idea of, even if he's saying, I'm not saying I like him as a president,

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but I like the guy.

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He's falling into the same sort of trap that dumb media people did

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with the idea of like, now that W is out of office,

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isn't it interesting that he's a painter?

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That sort of thing.

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Instead of in The Hague.

Unknown Speaker (00:52:04.519)

Right, but that's what he would say now as the QAnon conspiracy theorist,

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because he's made that pivot now.

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Whereas before, he had every reason to hate Bush.

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Bush's term was over. All of the war crimes had been committed.

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He has every reason at this point to be like, fuck that.

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I'm not giving him a pass.

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I kind of like the guy.

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I kind of like the guy.

Unknown Speaker (00:52:24.599)

Hey, he's being honest about drinking.

Unknown Speaker (00:52:26.360)

How about that?

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Everyone hated that Obama was honest about cigarettes.

Unknown Speaker (00:52:32.039)

Oh no, but that's because Obama is evil.

Unknown Speaker (00:52:34.840)

Definitely for, I mean, definitely for non-race related reasons.

Unknown Speaker (00:52:38.440)

100% for non-race related reasons.

Unknown Speaker (00:52:40.119)

Yeah, I wonder if that has anything to do with when I look at Obama,

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see George Bush.

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I like the guy.

Unknown Speaker (00:52:44.599)

It's strange.

Unknown Speaker (00:52:46.039)

Hey, Obama, same president, but as a person, I don't like him.

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And I can't put my finger on why, but based on all of my shit opinions so far,

Unknown Speaker (00:52:55.159)

I think you can guess.

Unknown Speaker (00:52:56.199)

Now might be a time to tell you about the overwhelming number of videos

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that Lionel has put out about how George Zimmerman is totally cool,

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didn't do anything wrong, about how Donald Sterling is all right.

Unknown Speaker (00:53:08.840)

What?

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The Westboro Baptist Church are crusaders for free speech.

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He doesn't like them, but they're crusaders for free speech.

Unknown Speaker (00:53:15.800)

Right, right, right.

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Of course, of course.

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Ferguson was a disaster.

Unknown Speaker (00:53:19.079)

I thought it was a hoax.

Unknown Speaker (00:53:19.960)

Uh, you might believe that now, but back then it was just,

Unknown Speaker (00:53:23.639)

you know, it's all nonsense.

Unknown Speaker (00:53:25.239)

He has a real trend of weirdly, exactly like Alexey kind of stuff,

Unknown Speaker (00:53:32.360)

but it's a little bit more understated.

Unknown Speaker (00:53:34.280)

And a lot of the time he's doing these like reports

Unknown Speaker (00:53:37.800)

that there's an attempt at humor added in it.

Unknown Speaker (00:53:40.679)

But I should say he is probably like 40, 50.

Unknown Speaker (00:53:43.159)

It's in the dozens of videos about Zimmerman.

Unknown Speaker (00:53:45.639)

It's pretty wild.

Unknown Speaker (00:53:46.360)

That's too many.

Unknown Speaker (00:53:47.239)

It's pretty wild.

Unknown Speaker (00:53:47.880)

How can there be dozens of videos about Zimmerman?

Unknown Speaker (00:53:49.880)

Because he's a trial lawyer, so he has a legal take on it.

Unknown Speaker (00:53:53.800)

Although there are a lot of other legal cases that have come out

Unknown Speaker (00:53:56.199)

that he could have spent that much time on,

Unknown Speaker (00:53:57.719)

but it seems like this one was really important to him.

Unknown Speaker (00:54:00.119)

You know what's weird is the more he talks,

Unknown Speaker (00:54:02.840)

the more I feel like when he was nine, he saw my cousin Vinny.

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He was like, that's what I'm going to be when I grow up.

Unknown Speaker (00:54:08.039)

Interesting.

Unknown Speaker (00:54:08.679)

Like, this is weird.

Unknown Speaker (00:54:10.920)

I don't think the ages match up for him to have been nine.

Unknown Speaker (00:54:15.400)

No, the moment he saw my cousin Vinny, he grew about 30, 40 years.

Unknown Speaker (00:54:19.480)

That's possible.

Unknown Speaker (00:54:20.199)

It could be a big situation.

Unknown Speaker (00:54:21.480)

Oh, yeah.

Unknown Speaker (00:54:22.519)

So, you know, he talked in that last clip about liking W.

Unknown Speaker (00:54:26.679)

And that's kind of like, I just feel like that's a little hacky.

Unknown Speaker (00:54:29.880)

And, you know, if you're a serious commentator,

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you should probably be above that.

Unknown Speaker (00:54:33.800)

But then this next clip made me even more concerned that maybe this guy ain't cool.

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Dick Cheney's book In My Time hits the bookstores and downloads today.

Unknown Speaker (00:54:52.679)

Not exactly a brilliant title.

Unknown Speaker (00:54:54.599)

In My Time.

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Isn't that understood?

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What else would he call his biography?

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After I'm Dead?

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Before I Was Born?

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Where's the real shot?

Unknown Speaker (00:55:01.719)

Now, the worst stuff that he and Bush pushed had the most incredibly boring names,

Unknown Speaker (00:55:06.119)

unitary executive, presidential signing statements.

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But trust me, they were so toxically unconstitutional and the country couldn't care less.

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But Nancy Grace on Dancing with the Stars.

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Well, that's news.

Unknown Speaker (00:55:19.320)

So real quick, we have at the beginning the presentation of a statement.

Unknown Speaker (00:55:24.039)

You know, it's very clear.

Unknown Speaker (00:55:25.000)

He's saying what Bush and Cheney did.

Unknown Speaker (00:55:27.480)

It's unconstitutional with boring names, but people weren't paying attention.

Unknown Speaker (00:55:30.760)

That was the trick.

Unknown Speaker (00:55:31.400)

Let's see where this goes.

Unknown Speaker (00:55:33.719)

Well, look, I didn't vote for him or Bush either time, and I thought he did irreparable

Unknown Speaker (00:55:38.119)

harm to what's left of our country's international image.

Unknown Speaker (00:55:41.239)

That being said, I miss him.

Unknown Speaker (00:55:44.119)

I miss his certitude and his decisiveness, that lip snarl thing, the fact that he has

Unknown Speaker (00:55:51.159)

no pulse.

Unknown Speaker (00:55:52.280)

I miss his refusal to equivocate when he and the decider made up their minds.

Unknown Speaker (00:55:56.280)

That was it.

Unknown Speaker (00:55:56.679)

Don't call him.

Unknown Speaker (00:55:57.239)

It was all wrong.

Unknown Speaker (00:55:58.119)

They were making work early.

Unknown Speaker (00:55:58.840)

It was definite and unambiguous.

Unknown Speaker (00:56:00.360)

This president doesn't have that.

Unknown Speaker (00:56:02.519)

And while Bush hemmed and hawn and stambered and stumbled, he spoke extemporaneously, poorly

Unknown Speaker (00:56:08.519)

perhaps, but they were his words.

Unknown Speaker (00:56:10.760)

Poorly cobbled together, granted, and ineffectively delivered, but no prompter.

Unknown Speaker (00:56:15.320)

The whole nuclear business drove me nuts.

Unknown Speaker (00:56:18.440)

Where was I?

Unknown Speaker (00:56:19.559)

Oh, Cheney.

Unknown Speaker (00:56:20.440)

Right.

Unknown Speaker (00:56:20.679)

Now, look, you've got to give him one thing.

Unknown Speaker (00:56:23.239)

He scared the hell out of most people, mostly Americans.

Unknown Speaker (00:56:26.360)

But there's something to be said for that.

Unknown Speaker (00:56:28.440)

Look, let me tell you.

Unknown Speaker (00:56:29.079)

Ordering the deaths of hundreds of billions of people should be terrifying.

Unknown Speaker (00:56:32.360)

There's something to be said for a guy who looks like a cross between Mr. Potter and

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Cerberus, the three-headed hound that guards the gates of the underworld.

Unknown Speaker (00:56:38.840)

Shut up, Dennis Miller.

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Believe me, you know and I know that there are some nasty folks in the world, and it

Unknown Speaker (00:56:44.199)

comes in handy to be able to say, you know, I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Unknown Speaker (00:56:48.519)

I don't think Dick Cheney would appreciate that.

Unknown Speaker (00:56:50.920)

First is, I don't want to have to tell Joe Biden.

Unknown Speaker (00:56:53.639)

Or, watch it, fella, or President Obama is going to read you the riot act as long as

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it's prompter ready.

Unknown Speaker (00:57:00.280)

Dick Cheney also has an attitude that's doggone it.

Unknown Speaker (00:57:02.920)

I love it.

Unknown Speaker (00:57:04.280)

It's that, I don't care what you think attitude.

Unknown Speaker (00:57:06.920)

Recently, when he was being interviewed about his book, some idiot thought she'd get him

Unknown Speaker (00:57:10.840)

a, you know, a tough question.

Unknown Speaker (00:57:12.519)

And before she could even get it out, he'd answer it like, of course, no big deal.

Unknown Speaker (00:57:17.639)

Vice President Cheney, you want the riot torture?

Unknown Speaker (00:57:20.440)

Yes.

Unknown Speaker (00:57:21.239)

Well, I wasn't done.

Unknown Speaker (00:57:22.920)

Waterboarding, yes, of course, please, sir, let me finish.

Unknown Speaker (00:57:26.679)

Jumper cables on genitals, absolutely, please, let me finish.

Unknown Speaker (00:57:30.519)

Be honest, don't you kind of miss him a little bit.

Unknown Speaker (00:57:34.360)

Comment, has you seen fit?

Unknown Speaker (00:57:37.000)

I understand he's trying to be funny, and that's why I leave a tiny bit of room that

Unknown Speaker (00:57:41.400)

this is all satire, but I don't think it is.

Unknown Speaker (00:57:44.599)

No.

Unknown Speaker (00:57:45.400)

Because the talking points about Obama and the teleprompter are consistent.

Unknown Speaker (00:57:49.239)

Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (00:57:49.719)

The idea that Biden and Obama are ineffectual is consistent.

Unknown Speaker (00:57:53.800)

Of course.

Unknown Speaker (00:57:54.280)

What he's expressing underneath a lot of that attempt at humor is something that I believe

Unknown Speaker (00:57:59.480)

he's sincerely arguing, that is, the world is afraid of Dick Cheney and that is a positive

Unknown Speaker (00:58:04.519)

thing, which is not something anybody should argue if they're a serious thinker.

Unknown Speaker (00:58:09.800)

Like, that's not good analysis.

Unknown Speaker (00:58:12.599)

That is very, very bad.

Unknown Speaker (00:58:14.119)

Dan, don't you miss when stupid people used to just assume they were right and do things

Unknown Speaker (00:58:19.239)

without any kind of pre-analysis whatsoever and just kind of really get shit done.

Unknown Speaker (00:58:25.239)

Now, admittedly, that shit was war crimes.

Unknown Speaker (00:58:27.719)

Right.

Unknown Speaker (00:58:28.199)

Death, torture, hundreds of millions of people killed.

Unknown Speaker (00:58:33.000)

Why should he be worried about, like, or praise efficiency if it's efficiency towards a goal

Unknown Speaker (00:58:37.800)

he's against?

Unknown Speaker (00:58:38.760)

Like, what is the, like, that makes zero sense.

Unknown Speaker (00:58:42.599)

Like, there's internal inconsistency through so many of these reports because I think they're,

Unknown Speaker (00:58:47.159)

like, an attempt to be interesting, an attempt to be funny, and an attempt to make points

Unknown Speaker (00:58:51.880)

that are very poorly thought through.

Unknown Speaker (00:58:54.039)

Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (00:58:54.360)

And that is exactly what you'd expect of someone who ends up becoming a QAnon guy.

Unknown Speaker (00:58:58.360)

Right.

Unknown Speaker (00:58:58.760)

Like, just...

Unknown Speaker (00:58:59.880)

Well, of course, of course, with that kind of dumb worldview, you look up to Trump and

Unknown Speaker (00:59:04.760)

you're like, yeah, see, he's gonna just do it.

Unknown Speaker (00:59:08.199)

Like, it's kind of interesting that so many of these people, like, the nationalist movement

Unknown Speaker (00:59:14.519)

that we're seeing right now globally is, of course, just a reaction to all of the neoliberalism

Unknown Speaker (00:59:23.000)

bullshit, but there is a certain part of us that, you know, that goes both ways.

Unknown Speaker (00:59:29.400)

Like, when people elected Obama, there was a certain part of everybody going like, oh,

Unknown Speaker (00:59:35.239)

now we have somebody who's just going to finally fix it.

Unknown Speaker (00:59:38.280)

Not we have to constantly be vigilant to avoid war crimes, but because we finally got our

Unknown Speaker (00:59:45.480)

guy who's just gonna, you know, cut through all the bullshit, Dan, we all want to cut

Unknown Speaker (00:59:50.360)

through all the red tape.

Unknown Speaker (00:59:51.719)

What are you planning for?

Unknown Speaker (00:59:52.840)

What are you doing all of these statistics for?

Unknown Speaker (00:59:55.400)

Cut through it and get shit done.

Unknown Speaker (00:59:57.320)

That mental weakness does exist all over the place.

Unknown Speaker (00:59:59.719)

Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (01:00:00.119)

It feeds into each other from both sides, for sure.

Unknown Speaker (01:00:02.760)

I just think that what you see here is it was the order of the day, because at this

Unknown Speaker (01:00:07.000)

point, the, you know, the election had already happened.

Unknown Speaker (01:00:10.360)

Obama, like, Ron Paul's not going anywhere.

Unknown Speaker (01:00:13.320)

The Ron Paul revolution had deflated by 2012, so it's stupid to have some sort of an idea

Unknown Speaker (01:00:19.000)

that, like, Ron is gonna be the guy.

Unknown Speaker (01:00:21.480)

He ends up retiring from Congress in 2013.

Unknown Speaker (01:00:24.199)

His whole, like, sense as a, like, savior, a potential savior is gone.

Unknown Speaker (01:00:30.840)

So what you do when you're Lionel, and you're a hack, and you're basically just libertarian

Unknown Speaker (01:00:37.719)

leaning establishment nonsense, what you do is you hearken towards the strong man who

Unknown Speaker (01:00:43.079)

was there.

Unknown Speaker (01:00:43.800)

Of course.

Unknown Speaker (01:00:44.280)

Because you're so dissatisfied with Obama, it's the easiest, cheapest route to having

Unknown Speaker (01:00:49.480)

a position that someone will air.

Unknown Speaker (01:00:51.480)

Right.

Unknown Speaker (01:00:51.960)

And so that's what he does.

Unknown Speaker (01:00:53.000)

That's, you know, that's the position that he weaves into.

Unknown Speaker (01:00:57.079)

Now, granted, there's still, you know, the consistent, I am against globalism nonsense.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:02.760)

Right, right, right, right.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:03.400)

And I will say, to his credit, there are a number of videos that he's put out about,

Unknown Speaker (01:01:07.320)

like, defending gay rights and stuff like that.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:10.280)

OK.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:10.760)

So to his credit, he seems to be on the right side of that, and I'll take my hand to that.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:14.679)

Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:15.159)

He does seem to have a weird stance on, like, fat shaming and bullying, though.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:18.360)

He seems to think that those things are things that are totally cool, but the people who

Unknown Speaker (01:01:21.559)

do it are bad.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:22.199)

Oh, of course he does.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:23.000)

That's, like, I don't know.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:24.679)

Yeah, that makes perfect sense.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:25.719)

I couldn't get my hand, I couldn't get a handle on that in terms of where his position was.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:32.039)

I think his take on that, if I was going to guess without any knowledge of what he said,

Unknown Speaker (01:01:37.400)

I assume there are plenty of synonyms, a little bit of a vocabulary show-off session.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:44.039)

Maybe a Greek mythology reference.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:45.480)

Exactly.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:46.360)

Somebody is Boo Radley in this situation.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:48.199)

Absolutely, that's going to come into play.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:49.639)

For sure.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:50.360)

The fat person who's being shamed is Boo Radley.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:52.599)

Of course.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:53.079)

He's made to be Boo Radley.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:54.199)

Of course.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:56.360)

They can't shake anybody's hands.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:57.639)

No.

Unknown Speaker (01:01:57.960)

But it sounds to me more like he's doing that thing where he's like,

Unknown Speaker (01:02:01.320)

bullying and fat shaming made me stronger, and I hate bullies and fat shamers.

Unknown Speaker (01:02:07.320)

It's possible.

Unknown Speaker (01:02:08.119)

So I want it around, but I think they should be killed.

Unknown Speaker (01:02:11.000)

It does feel like, I mean, you've already pointed this out on an earlier clip, it's

Unknown Speaker (01:02:14.920)

like you're projecting a bit here.

Unknown Speaker (01:02:17.159)

Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (01:02:18.039)

These points are hacky and lame, the comedy is bad, the perspective is weak, and you're

Unknown Speaker (01:02:23.800)

talking about yourself.

Unknown Speaker (01:02:24.760)

Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (01:02:25.400)

Now, I want to say he's made these hearkenings and overtures towards a romanticized past

Unknown Speaker (01:02:32.760)

of Chaney.

Unknown Speaker (01:02:33.480)

Of course.

Unknown Speaker (01:02:33.960)

And liking Bush and stuff like that.

Unknown Speaker (01:02:36.519)

And don't think for a second that even at that point he had forgotten where he came

Unknown Speaker (01:02:41.880)

from.

Unknown Speaker (01:02:42.380)

He still is a man who knows his roots.

Unknown Speaker (01:02:54.300)

Mayor Bloomberg, I beg you to do something about an instance of incivility seen daily

Unknown Speaker (01:02:59.820)

in the bowels of our subterranean locomotive system.

Unknown Speaker (01:03:02.619)

Are we doing bags again?

Unknown Speaker (01:03:03.980)

The subway.

Unknown Speaker (01:03:05.500)

And I beg, implore, besiege and entreat you, dear leader, to unleash and untether the full

Unknown Speaker (01:03:10.860)

faith and credit of your limitless power to strike down, apprehend, and if necessary,

Unknown Speaker (01:03:17.099)

incarcerate these practitioners of untold and unimaginable savagery, those who insist

Unknown Speaker (01:03:23.820)

upon wearing the bane of my existence, the backpack.

Unknown Speaker (01:03:29.019)

Not just the huge, oversized Sherpa-like, lawnmower-sized bundles that people strap

Unknown Speaker (01:03:34.139)

to their backs in complete contravention of the rules of civility.

Unknown Speaker (01:03:38.780)

But all backpacks.

Unknown Speaker (01:03:40.860)

Mayor Bloomberg, L. Bloomberg, you're the problem.

Unknown Speaker (01:03:45.019)

Stop the madness.

Unknown Speaker (01:03:46.300)

Stop the insanity and terror.

Unknown Speaker (01:03:48.699)

Oh, the horror, the humanity.

Unknown Speaker (01:03:52.380)

Mayor Bloomberg, sir, please.

Unknown Speaker (01:03:54.699)

In a cramped train, as in life, every available inch counts and matters.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:00.460)

I understand that an elbow, a knee may indeed intrude upon my space.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:05.340)

I don't know.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:05.659)

I'm going to shut this off.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:07.099)

He did backpacks again, man.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:08.619)

This is backpacks again.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:09.820)

This is crazy.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:10.780)

He's got to get back to it.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:12.059)

It's crazy to do it once.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:13.980)

Nobody.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:15.420)

Nobody is keeping it in the news, Dan.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:17.659)

It's got to stay in the news cycle.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:19.420)

You got to harp on it.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:20.780)

You can't.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:21.500)

You got to hold Bloomberg's feet to the fire, Dan.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:25.340)

I got to think like he just ran out of time to get the report together for that and forgot

Unknown Speaker (01:04:30.460)

he'd already covered backpacks on the train.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:33.019)

It's borderline.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:33.980)

What in the fuck?

Unknown Speaker (01:04:34.940)

It's borderline the same script, too.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:37.099)

It's very close.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:37.739)

It's super close.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:38.780)

A lot of different synonyms.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:41.019)

So like I'm saying, he's still doing that, even at this point when he started to take

Unknown Speaker (01:04:46.300)

this like pretty harsh pivot towards, I mean, just conservative nonsense that just the train

Unknown Speaker (01:04:55.739)

that he's not wearing a backpack on.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:57.340)

Of course not.

Unknown Speaker (01:04:57.820)

Just keeps going that direction.

Unknown Speaker (01:05:00.699)

And you'll see in this next clip him say some stuff that is just like it's indefensible

Unknown Speaker (01:05:06.300)

level.

Unknown Speaker (01:05:06.699)

Like he takes he's taking a turn now where it's not just like these weird globalism and

Unknown Speaker (01:05:14.300)

Ron Paul apologetic like sort of positions that are weird.

Unknown Speaker (01:05:18.780)

He's starting to say things that are like, I can't I can't believe this.

Unknown Speaker (01:05:29.659)

The Todd Aiken case was a distraction, a disgusting, despicable distraction.

Unknown Speaker (01:05:34.300)

Todd Aiken's comments about legitimate rape have absolutely nothing to do with anything.

Unknown Speaker (01:05:39.099)

Let me repeat.

Unknown Speaker (01:05:39.900)

No, they do.

Unknown Speaker (01:05:40.380)

They're irrelevant.

Unknown Speaker (01:05:41.179)

An opposite and no, they are.

Unknown Speaker (01:05:42.940)

And believe me, believe me when I tell you this, that Romney, Obama and everyone charged

Unknown Speaker (01:05:47.739)

with crafting policy or stewarding a presidential election could not be happier with this story.

Unknown Speaker (01:05:53.500)

Todd Aiken is irrelevant.

Unknown Speaker (01:05:55.099)

Todd Aiken's thoughts about anything and I mean anything are irrelevant.

Unknown Speaker (01:06:00.539)

But what this did was to give the media something to talk about because it was something they

Unknown Speaker (01:06:04.780)

could grasp, especially Democratic and Obama reelection campaign operatives and specifically

Unknown Speaker (01:06:09.659)

those as seen on their official network, MSDNC.

Unknown Speaker (01:06:13.340)

He thinks you're too stupid about everything, anything that will affect you and your family

Unknown Speaker (01:06:17.099)

has been suspended and instead we parse and reverse engineer rather the mind of Todd Aiken

Unknown Speaker (01:06:23.980)

and his unique theories of how legitimate rape prevents contraception or something I

Unknown Speaker (01:06:29.579)

don't even understand and frankly, I don't care.

Unknown Speaker (01:06:32.059)

The issues like Mittens' tax returns, his offshore accounts, Ryan's abs, these subjects

Unknown Speaker (01:06:37.260)

are easy to digest and comprehend.

Unknown Speaker (01:06:39.340)

Todd Aiken means nothing.

Unknown Speaker (01:06:41.019)

Todd Aiken is a red herring, a rodeo clown, a distraction, a diversion and quintessentially

Unknown Speaker (01:06:45.260)

irrelevant.

Unknown Speaker (01:06:45.340)

This is a distraction.

Unknown Speaker (01:06:46.380)

Look how much time has been wasted in this meaningless discussion.

Unknown Speaker (01:06:49.019)

Democrats and MSDNC-ers trying to conflate and associate this man's idiocy with Romney,

Unknown Speaker (01:06:55.340)

Ryan, the GOP, RNC, the right wing tea party, evangelicals, name it.

Unknown Speaker (01:07:00.300)

American political discussion is a rehashed, refurbished, reconstituted left-right paradigm

Unknown Speaker (01:07:05.500)

argument.

Unknown Speaker (01:07:06.059)

I can't believe it.

Unknown Speaker (01:07:06.940)

The level of sophistication when it comes to the issues is beyond simplistic.

Unknown Speaker (01:07:11.099)

Seriously, let me put it this way.

Unknown Speaker (01:07:13.260)

Imagine talking baseball with a pal and he turns to you and says, eh, you're a typical

Unknown Speaker (01:07:18.059)

national leaguer.

Unknown Speaker (01:07:19.179)

That's so national league.

Unknown Speaker (01:07:21.019)

I'm an American leaguer.

Unknown Speaker (01:07:22.300)

True blue.

Unknown Speaker (01:07:23.179)

What does that have to do with anything?

Unknown Speaker (01:07:25.179)

Here's where the argument falls apart.

Unknown Speaker (01:07:28.219)

Exactly.

Unknown Speaker (01:07:30.139)

In one of the leagues, pitchers have to hit and the other one, they don't.

Unknown Speaker (01:07:34.059)

So there is a substantive difference between the national and American leagues.

Unknown Speaker (01:07:37.500)

Your attempt to minimize this into some reducto ad absurdium argument falls apart.

Unknown Speaker (01:07:43.500)

Dumb, dumb.

Unknown Speaker (01:07:44.860)

What kind of argument is that?

Unknown Speaker (01:07:46.300)

National league?

Unknown Speaker (01:07:47.420)

What about baseball?

Unknown Speaker (01:07:48.300)

The game, the sport?

Unknown Speaker (01:07:49.659)

That's where we are today.

Unknown Speaker (01:07:51.260)

We've distilled and reduced the argument to personality bumper sticker playbook argument.

Unknown Speaker (01:07:55.900)

The world monetary systems are on the verge of absolute collapse.

Unknown Speaker (01:07:59.019)

We are on our way to endless wars and countries that have absolutely nothing to do with our

Unknown Speaker (01:08:03.179)

country and freedom and way of life.

Unknown Speaker (01:08:05.579)

Our personal liberties are under attack.

Unknown Speaker (01:08:07.420)

Surveillance is out of control.

Unknown Speaker (01:08:09.099)

So while all of this is happening today, we're talking about Todd Aik.

Unknown Speaker (01:08:13.420)

Tomorrow, something equally as a name and the obfuscation will continue until November.

Unknown Speaker (01:08:18.300)

And yet these 10 backs or sock puppet media barking seals con you into thinking that they're

Unknown Speaker (01:08:23.579)

giving you the news coming as you see fit.

Unknown Speaker (01:08:27.899)

I will.

Unknown Speaker (01:08:28.619)

So, so what are you doing then?

Unknown Speaker (01:08:31.340)

That's, that's a really important point because he's covering it.

Unknown Speaker (01:08:37.100)

Right.

Unknown Speaker (01:08:37.420)

The idea is like, first of all, he's not taking into account the idea that a media can cover

Unknown Speaker (01:08:42.699)

multiple stories simultaneously because it's not like the media has one employee.

Unknown Speaker (01:08:46.460)

Oh shit, all my time has been spent writing this Todd Aiken article.

Unknown Speaker (01:08:50.779)

Can't get to the bigger things.

Unknown Speaker (01:08:52.380)

Right.

Unknown Speaker (01:08:53.260)

The examples that he's talking about here, like the endless wars, the economy collapsing

Unknown Speaker (01:08:57.579)

and stuff like that.

Unknown Speaker (01:08:58.619)

He is the one who is guilty of not covering all those things in favor of talking about

Unknown Speaker (01:09:02.859)

Todd Aiken, but his angle on it is to dismiss this Todd Aiken, uh, you know, legitimate

Unknown Speaker (01:09:09.340)

rape doesn't cause pregnancies nonsense that Todd Aiken did.

Unknown Speaker (01:09:12.859)

Now the bigger issue is that Todd Aiken being conflated with like the tea party and stuff

Unknown Speaker (01:09:17.579)

like that isn't irresponsible because he's a member of the tea party.

Unknown Speaker (01:09:21.579)

That makes sense.

Unknown Speaker (01:09:22.699)

The other thing is that his, uh, statements weren't condemned by the people on the right.

Unknown Speaker (01:09:28.859)

They, they, maybe a couple people did, but generally speaking people, much like with

Unknown Speaker (01:09:34.380)

the Nazi Steve King, just sort of like, let's not talk about this.

Unknown Speaker (01:09:38.460)

Hope this goes away.

Unknown Speaker (01:09:39.739)

That's sort of the thing.

Unknown Speaker (01:09:40.460)

And it did!

Unknown Speaker (01:09:41.500)

He was a member of the house of representatives.

Unknown Speaker (01:09:43.500)

Like it is relevant.

Unknown Speaker (01:09:44.699)

No, it's irrelevant.

Unknown Speaker (01:09:45.819)

No, it's relevant.

Unknown Speaker (01:09:46.619)

He's got nothing to do with the world.

Unknown Speaker (01:09:48.140)

It's right.

Unknown Speaker (01:09:48.539)

He's an elected official with a modicum of power.

Unknown Speaker (01:09:51.100)

Ignore him.

Unknown Speaker (01:09:51.659)

It is relevant what his views are when they're this inane and misogynistic, uh, about both

Unknown Speaker (01:09:57.420)

the issues of abortion and rape.

Unknown Speaker (01:09:59.180)

It is very important.

Unknown Speaker (01:10:00.460)

He's got no, there's no point in talking about him.

Unknown Speaker (01:10:03.979)

It's not like he has the power to draft legislation.

Unknown Speaker (01:10:06.939)

He does.

Unknown Speaker (01:10:08.060)

Wait, what?

Unknown Speaker (01:10:08.539)

It's yeah, I should tell you that.

Unknown Speaker (01:10:09.899)

Oh shit.

Unknown Speaker (01:10:10.619)

Well then he's an important person to talk about.

Unknown Speaker (01:10:12.939)

I got bad news about the house.

Unknown Speaker (01:10:15.659)

It is very, it's very relevant.

Unknown Speaker (01:10:17.340)

It's not a distraction.

Unknown Speaker (01:10:18.699)

Um, this is a distraction.

Unknown Speaker (01:10:20.619)

This is, this is distracting you from the idea of what Todd Aiken, like what it highlights,

Unknown Speaker (01:10:27.500)

what it illustrates.

Unknown Speaker (01:10:28.699)

It's not to say that every person who's against abortion is like him.

Unknown Speaker (01:10:32.859)

It's not to say that every conservative is like him.

Unknown Speaker (01:10:35.659)

But how fucking loud are.

Unknown Speaker (01:10:37.340)

It shines a light on somebody who probably up till that point didn't say anything like

Unknown Speaker (01:10:41.979)

that, but appeared to be a normal run of the mill conservative anti-abortion guy.

Unknown Speaker (01:10:46.300)

It gives you a chance when people misspeak to see like, oh, there's probably at least

Unknown Speaker (01:10:50.779)

a couple other people who had those same sort of views.

Unknown Speaker (01:10:53.500)

And that's really fucked up to think about.

Unknown Speaker (01:10:55.420)

It's called saying the quiet part loud.

Unknown Speaker (01:10:57.100)

Right.

Unknown Speaker (01:10:57.659)

It's also really fucked up how he apologized and then lost to Claire McCaskill and then

Unknown Speaker (01:11:02.220)

later wrote a book where he was like, I shouldn't have apologized.

Unknown Speaker (01:11:04.779)

I definitely believe those things.

Unknown Speaker (01:11:06.060)

That's fucked up.

Unknown Speaker (01:11:07.579)

I didn't read that.

Unknown Speaker (01:11:08.699)

No, most people didn't.

Unknown Speaker (01:11:09.819)

I didn't, I didn't read his book saying, yeah, legitimate rape is right.

Unknown Speaker (01:11:13.819)

See?

Unknown Speaker (01:11:14.939)

I was right on the science.

Unknown Speaker (01:11:16.140)

Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (01:11:16.699)

I was right on the science.

Unknown Speaker (01:11:18.220)

It's crazy.

Unknown Speaker (01:11:19.100)

Like this is, this is nuts, but this is the sort of behavior that you'd expect to see

Unknown Speaker (01:11:23.100)

out of someone like this.

Unknown Speaker (01:11:24.539)

Going out of their way in order to run interference in some ways about conservatives who do things

Unknown Speaker (01:11:30.460)

that are really horrible.

Unknown Speaker (01:11:31.579)

Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (01:11:32.060)

It's much like his comedy is hacky.

Unknown Speaker (01:11:33.979)

This is just political hack.

Unknown Speaker (01:11:35.420)

Right.

Unknown Speaker (01:11:36.619)

It's, it's like he, and this is something that I think a lot of white people do as they

Unknown Speaker (01:11:42.539)

get older.

Unknown Speaker (01:11:43.340)

Like they ride the minor inconvenience train to out and out white supremacy.

Unknown Speaker (01:11:47.899)

Oh, you bet.

Unknown Speaker (01:11:48.380)

Where it's like, Oh, I hate bags on these fucking trains.

Unknown Speaker (01:11:51.659)

It's terrible.

Unknown Speaker (01:11:52.779)

And sure it's a lot of black people who do those bags, but for right now it's not going

Unknown Speaker (01:11:58.460)

to be important, but five years from now, five years from then it's like, and of course

Unknown Speaker (01:12:03.500)

that's why whites need to break away from civilization.

Unknown Speaker (01:12:06.539)

Naturally.

Unknown Speaker (01:12:07.819)

It's the bags, Dan.

Unknown Speaker (01:12:09.180)

It's all about the bags.

Unknown Speaker (01:12:09.979)

It's always been about the bags.

Unknown Speaker (01:12:11.180)

Everything else is a distraction.

Unknown Speaker (01:12:12.779)

It's a distraction from the bags.

Unknown Speaker (01:12:15.020)

And I can't stress enough how like you clearly have editorial oversight of your own show.

Unknown Speaker (01:12:20.619)

You chose to talk about this, Lionel.

Unknown Speaker (01:12:23.260)

Also every time.

Unknown Speaker (01:12:24.060)

Nobody's assigning Lionel a thing to bitch about.

Unknown Speaker (01:12:27.100)

If I had any like Photoshop capability, I would take the Lionel theme song and just

Unknown Speaker (01:12:31.739)

use the Zelda villain, bad guy, you know, the, the Lionel.

Unknown Speaker (01:12:35.659)

No, the Lionel.

Unknown Speaker (01:12:36.779)

Oh yeah.

Unknown Speaker (01:12:38.140)

Okay.

Unknown Speaker (01:12:38.619)

Make a, like a, like a flash video of the Lionel dancing with a mariachi band.

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That's all that goes through my head.

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But so the next clip we're going to play, think about that while the theme song plays.

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Would someone

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please explain to me the inordinate fascination all of a sudden with Chaz Bono.

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I know, I know.

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I am going to explain to him the inordinate fascination with Chaz Bono.

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You know, what's interesting.

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Actually, he asked me politely.

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He said, please, you don't need to because at the end of the clip, he will invalidate

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everything he said during the clip and make evident that he knows what the fascination

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with Chaz Bono is.

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And he's just being an obsequious dick.

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I'm using words like I'm Lionel.

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That's a, that's a great adjective, Dan.

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He's just being intentionally obtuse here by pretending he doesn't understand why the

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media has an interest in covering Chaz Bono.

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He's just being an asshole.

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This young man, he went through female to male gender transition.

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I will say, though, I do appreciate that he doesn't miss gender, Chaz.

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That is nice.

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I appreciate that because anybody else of this ilk probably would.

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For sure.

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And is truly in my book, a hero, a hero to thousands of people, including teens who through

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no fault of their own are born with a sexual apparatus that does not comport with what

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they feel in their mind.

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Sexuality and gender identity are located in the brain and the heart.

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That's as good as you're going for you Chaz.

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That being said, I'm starting to get sick of Chaz Bono.

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Now I know the problems with his mom.

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She freaked out originally, but she's come around.

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I understand all that.

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And now the news is centered around Chaz appearing on Dancing with the Stars.

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I get it.

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But maybe it's me.

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Maybe I get bored easily.

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Maybe I'm so accepting of Chaz and it's no.

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He gets bored easily.

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He did over 30 videos about George Zimmerman being cool.

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That's because he was so boring.

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Big deal.

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Maybe I'm the only person who actually couldn't care less about Dancing with the Stars.

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I mean, I have that initial.

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The second time.

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Yeah, this is a multiple references to Dancing with the Stars.

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This isn't one of those there are more important issues lectures.

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I'm a fan of pop culture and intellectual fast food.

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But the question that I like to ask Chaz that I know you want to ask to come on, face it.

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You want to know.

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And my friend Judy Golden, her new one woman show says it best.

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You're not friends.

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Or I guess asks it best.

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Why is Chaz so fat?

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It's not the penile reconstruction or I guess to be accurate, the construction that I wonder

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about.

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That's pretty straightforward.

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Wait, is that a pun?

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Or is it that MSNBC model that nobody understands?

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Anywho, the enormity of Chaz's girth, the weight that is, is troubling.

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To reiterate, the guts and courage part I can't emphasize enough.

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And let's be fair.

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The fact that he's got a platform with famous parents certainly helps.

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There are transgendered folks in small towns who literally risk their lives coming out,

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so to speak.

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The whole boys don't cry Brandon and Tina thing comes to mind.

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And on a different note, if Jenny Craig, who's a genius, doesn't snatch Chaz up, she's

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crazy.

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I think America's ready for him.

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After all, if Carrie Fisher with her ECT electroshock every six weeks story is okay,

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which is fine, if she's good for business, so will Chaz.

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There.

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I'm glad I got this off my chest.

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Comment as you see fit.

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So isn't that interesting there at the end where he's talking about how like, you know,

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Chaz has a large platform as a celebrity and there's a lot of transgender youths who are

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struggling.

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I don't understand how he can end the clip with such an invalidation of what his premise

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was.

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The idea that he's sick and tired of seeing Chaz Bono around when at the end of the clip,

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he makes very clear that he understands that this is very valuable for transgender youths

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who are struggling in small town America.

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Get to see somebody who is representative of them, making them feel normal for him to

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pretend that he's like, I'm totally fine with trans people.

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I'm not against that at all.

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But fuck this representation thing.

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I'm fucking annoyed by it.

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I'm pretty sure, yeah, Chaz is fucking fat.

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I'm pretty sure what he just said was, uh, I don't like it because it doesn't affect

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me.

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Sure.

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I get it because for the people it does affect, it's actually very important.

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But people being fat affects me.

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I don't understand.

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I really don't.

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Like if I were the segment producer on this show and he submitted this as a script, I

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would be like, there's internal problems here.

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You contradict yourself or at very least you let make clear at the end here that you

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know exactly what the issue is and why you shouldn't be annoyed by this.

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But the fact that you are still annoyed by this and aware of why Chaz is a valuable figure

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in pop culture and media indicates that maybe you aren't so into trans rights and acceptance

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as you're pretending to be.

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Perhaps, perhaps the end of this undercuts your point.

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I would go to a page one rewrite recast.

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That's probably why you're not a segment producer for a VHF station.

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God damn, this, that is just embarrassing.

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Like from a comedy perspective, from a human perspective, from a point perspective, from

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a writing perspective, from a thought, everything about that is just really bad.

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Yeah.

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I don't know.

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So that's interesting that we have Chaz Bono here.

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And this is his take on him and that's great.

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His take on him is it's super awesome that a trans person is coming out.

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I'm annoyed by it.

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I can see why people find it inspirational.

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And the fact that he is out and we are talking about him so much also helps normalize trans

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people and that helps normalize and make trans people feel comfortable in places where maybe

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they wouldn't be ever made to feel comfortable because finally this pop culture image is

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being transmitted to their parents, making them feel more comfortable with the idea of

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their children being trans, but also Jenny Craig needs to get too fat.

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That goes back to the bullying and fat shaming thing that I brought up earlier.

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Like I really can't understand where his heart lies on it because he does have a number of

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videos about how bullies are bad people.

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They're committing a bad thing.

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Right.

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He defends the right to bullying and the idea that it's okay to do but the people who do

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it are bad.

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But it would be not a difficult argument to make that what he's doing there is a bit

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bullying.

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Yeah.

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It's a little bit bullying.

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Also, hey buddy, why do you think somebody who spent most of their life feeling uncomfortable

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in their own skin, afraid of coming out to his parents or his mom, afraid of doing so

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many things, why do you think that person might gain weight?

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No idea.

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So yeah, it's just a mess.

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It is a mess.

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So that's how he talks about Chaz Bono and let's see how he talks about someone else

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in this next clip and see if there's differences.

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I'm guessing RuPaul.

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Have you noticed how immediately after the horror in Norway, the killer was said to be

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connected to right-wing groups?

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That he was a right-winger, an extremist, anti-Muslim, anti-immigration.

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Listen to me, this is dangerous.

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Let me explain why.

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The motivation for crime, though fascinating, is absolutely irrelevant and the focus on

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ideology is dangerous.

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Why?

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First, it allows for the expansion of a singular sick event into a bigger message, a theme

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that then seeks to include and brand all those people that are believed to fall under the

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dangerously vague title of right-wing whatever.

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Yes, correct.

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Insanity knows no ideology.

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Giving evil a particular political label seeks to legitimize the terror by explaining its

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motivation and inadvertently we're giving queens to killers.

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When Charles Manson orchestrated the Tate-LaBianca murders, it was believed that this nut wanted

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to incite a race war through helter-skelter.

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Because he said he did.

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How would that make Manson, a white supremacist or a fallen lefty hippie?

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No, a white supremacist.

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Like hate crime laws, we needlessly complicate the issue by throwing in the sailor's motivation

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and bias into the elements of proof, thus complicating matters.

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Now prosecutors have to prove why a crime was committed in addition to a defendant's

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intent to commit the crime.

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Have you noticed that in our country, domestic terror is different for Democratic and Republican

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administrations?

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When Republicans are in power, domestic terrorism is foreign.

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Islamofascism, an oxymoron, bin Laden, Al-Qaeda.

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When Democrats are in power, domestic terrorism is homegrown.

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Right wing.

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Think Waco, Oklahoma City.

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Counterpoint.

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When was the first, who was in power during the first time bin Laden attacked the World

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Trade Center?

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I have no idea who you're talking about.

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Malicious.

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In our current system, let me add, constitutionalist, anti-tax, pro-second amendment, anti-big government

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types.

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Sounds like Alex.

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Now here's where the danger really gets dangerous.

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Yes.

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The more that these discussions go from the Norway case at hand to his support of the

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English Defense League and its similarity to right wing extremist groups here and further

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similarity to our Tea Party and the likes of Ron Paul or Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann,

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the mutual conflation and expansion then leads to some weird kind of transitive property

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application that connects the nut in Norway to our political and special interest groups

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here, labeled right wing by the brain dead media.

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And look at me.

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That's exactly what's happening here, you dig?

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So listen to the talk of the echo chamber.

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Be careful.

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Cenographic media connecting culpability and cause to the right wing whatever.

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Don't let the horror of the Norway massacre be co-opted and exploited for political reasons

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here.

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Comment as you see fit.

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I will.

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That's what you're doing.

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That's what he's doing.

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He won't even say Anders Breivik's name.

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He won't even acknowledge that.

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He won't talk about this in any real way.

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And if you want to hear more about why this is bullshit, we did a whole episode about

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Anders Breivik and his attack.

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And one of the things I can tell you with categorical certainty is that Lionel has never

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read his manifesto.

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Lionel has no interest in understanding exactly what motivated Anders Breivik to do the things

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he did because they are so close to the same motivations that do inspire the militias and

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the right wing and the Tea Party, like those sorts of anti-immigrant, anti-Muslim sentiments

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are so deeply embedded in what motivated his attack and all that.

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Like I do understand what he's saying in terms of, hey, this guy isn't representative of

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all of us at a point well taken.

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Like I do think that is a fair thing.

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If you want to make the argument that insanity has no party, we can have that conversation.

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No, and I respect that.

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It's not to say that someone like Anders Breivik is indicative of the mainstream of conservatism

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no matter the country.

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But to say why somebody did something is irrelevant is to say I'm afraid of looking at why this

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person did that thing because it will unveil and reveal how these lines of thinking, these

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anti-immigrant, these anti-Muslim lines of thinking left to their own devices and taken

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to the logical conclusions end up in a place where why don't we kill people?

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That is the end result of this line of thinking.

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It just is.

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Hey, he's a crazy person.

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He's a crazy person.

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It's definitely not anything to do with his motivations.

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That doesn't matter.

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It's almost like for white terrorists, the motivation doesn't matter because they're

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crazy.

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They're just nuts.

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You can't paste their manifestos that say exactly the same shit that I say all the time

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as being indicative of the shit that I say all the time.

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That's crazy.

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But if it's a fucking Muslim terrorist, that's because all Islamic terrorists.

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Because Islam is so horrible, like Sam Harris likes to tell us.

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Or conversely with this world, because they don't even want to engage that far, it's just

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all fake.

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It's all false flag by the globalists or whatever.

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So when I hear something like this and I hear this clip is interesting to me because he's

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talking about Anders Breivik like this after he talked about Chaz Bono the way he did.

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This is actually more akin to the Todd Aiken clip where it is like don't associate us with

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this, but I will take no ownership of the idea that this is very close to what I believe.

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I absolutely will not look at the logical conclusion of all of the stuff that I say

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and believe.

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Because by doing that, I might see that it would inspire people to kill indiscriminately.

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And we're on the left and I'm totally fine to look at the motivations of eco-terrorists

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or animal rights terrorists.

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It's kind of important to look at their motivations in order to understand what it is they're

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doing.

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I have no fear of looking at those things and seeing like, oh yeah, they are motivated

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by sort of left principles or whatever taken to maybe too far of an extreme, willing to

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have that conversation.

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This is just a shutting down of that conversation in any way because of the fear of what it

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could...

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You lift that mattress up, what's under there?

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And I think it's sad.

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I think it's a very cowardly, sad type of place to live in.

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And that's what we see here.

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We see a sad hack more or less, which is why I wanted to cover this stuff as opposed to

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any QAnon nonsense because I think this is more important.

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This is the career that Lionel is living.

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This is what he put into the world.

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This is a large chunk of his creative output.

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I think this is more damning, quite frankly.

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And at the same time, if you QAnon ding-dongs knew that this is the guy who you're now all

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like super into, I think you should take a step back and think about who your intellectual

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heroes are.

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Well, we all get very bored of our heroes, of course.

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Absolutely.

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People who become heroes.

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It's so boring.

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I love QAnon.

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I believe there are tens of thousands of sealed indictments coming and everybody's...

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Hillary's going to prison.

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The Bushes are going to prison.

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100%.

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I kind of like Bush and I'm sick and tired of exercise equipment ads.

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Absolutely.

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And if you fucking wear a satchel, I swear to God you're worse than Anders Breivik.

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So oh yeah, certainly.

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That is actually, that's exactly what he's saying.

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It is the sense you get from listening to too much of this.

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Yeah, it really is.

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So it's interesting to me that early on, Lionel had that video where he was talking about

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how Trump needs to show proof about his accusations that Obama wasn't born in this country.

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Now much like he went back to the well about backpacks, after Obama was reelected, he went

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back to the well on Trump's birtherism.

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Donald Trump is my new hero.

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I've never really been a fan before.

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I've never watched a pico second of The Apprentice and frankly, I may be the only person who

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really knows and cares little about him.

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That being said, lately he's driving folks nuts by daring, daring, I say, as an American

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citizen to question the eligibility of his president to serve as his president, the nerve

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of anyone questioning him.

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And this week when I saw CNN's permanently comatose, the poster child of mind numbing,

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the stultifying catatonic and resident crash test dummy, Wolf Blitzer absolutely lose it

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over the subject of daring, daring to question the president's eligibility specifically as

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to his natural born status.

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He had already released his birth certificate long before this.

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I thought you know if I didn't know better, I'd swear there was something to this old

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birther business because Wolf, who I swear died in 1978, but nobody told him, the Wolf

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man went crackers.

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Nice.

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Anyway, I don't remember ever seeing anyone ever being shut down for asking any embarrassing

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questions of presidents in the past.

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Think about it.

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Oh really?

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Remember during the Clinton years, he had old Bill and Hill accused of everything from

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whacking Vince Foster to rape, to kidnapping Judge Clinton and nobody said a word.

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Ask away, they said.

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Nobody said a word?

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Every country.

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Did nobody say a word?

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Everybody should know who thought Obama was a Muslim.

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For sure somebody said a word.

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Obama nation folks just blew it off and mumbled, oh, they're nuts.

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When you ask Obama acolytes or really anyone in the media why Trump's crazy or off base

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in bringing up the issue of Particle II eligibility, folks either say, well, look at his hair or

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he's a racist or whatever.

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Remember Sparky, Particle II Section 1 prescribes absolutely mandatory eligibility requirements

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for office.

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Look, presidential scholars might recall that there were questions along somewhat similar

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lines during Herbert Hoover's presidency.

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Really?

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President Trump in 1931 had worked for a British mining company and prior to his election had

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spent some time abroad.

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Did the 14-year residency requirement apply?

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Did that mean 14 years that preceded the term or 14 years cumulative?

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It was a valid question.

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There were even questions about John McCain who was born at a naval air station in the

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Panama Canal zone.

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Spathetic deflection.

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Admittedly.

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That's not, there were questions because that is already decided.

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Michael Beschloss of our time might not be the best guy to tackle arcane and historically

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recondite Article II parsing, but he's still an American citizen.

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Bad hair or not, boy, old Donald Trump has hit a nerve and I love nerve hitters.

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Touche, Donny boy.

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Touche.

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Come on, as you see fit.

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Not a lot of laughter in the studio on that one.

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No, that starts to go away at the longer he has a job there.

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Yeah.

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I think everyone kind of-

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Surprise.

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The novelty has worn off.

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Yeah.

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There's a couple of really important points in there.

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One, at the end of his last Donald Trump clip, he declared hair jokes dead.

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He did two of them in that clip.

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Oh, no.

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So, hey buddy, by your own rule about hating people who think they're funny, by your own

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rule of jokes that are dead, you have transgressed your own rule.

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Now second, nothing had really changed in terms of Donald Trump's birtherism stuff in

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the intervening year and a half, two years between these clips.

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Nothing on the ground had changed.

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And nothing really had changed in terms of his perspective.

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In the first clip, he was like, Trump, you have no evidence.

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You got to stop this, although I'm thrilled you're making Chris Matthews mad.

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Right.

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What's motivating him to make this clip is that Wolf Blitzer is now mad about it.

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There is no substantive difference except for something, something.

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I don't know what it is.

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I have no idea.

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But something changed that has led him to completely flip his position on something

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to a point where he's like, why are people mad that Trump is questioning the birth certificate?

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You made a video being mad about Trump questioning the birth certificate.

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You're condemning your past self without calling yourself out that like, hey, I was even thinking

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he was stupid to do this.

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This is indicative of absolute something behind the scenes changed.

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I don't know what it is.

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And it could probably be explained by Ron Paul's retirement.

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That could be a huge piece.

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Yeah.

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That alone could account for a great deal.

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Right.

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But it's something.

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It's something.

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And it's nefarious.

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That's all I know.

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I mean, I don't know.

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Generally speaking, I kind of think I'm right that old white people take the minor inconvenience

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train to white supremacy because it does kind of just sound like he's getting crankier and

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less fun.

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Like, he's not having fun.

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It doesn't seem like he's enjoying himself at all, giving this prepackaged shit rant.

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No.

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And if you listen to a bunch of this stuff, he doesn't seem he doesn't have a lot of joie

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de vivre in him, although I'm sorry.

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He doesn't speak French.

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He said that earlier.

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Oh, that's true.

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You know, you should you should be rightly pilloried for your trying to be funny when

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you aren't.

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So there are tons and tons of these shit videos that you can find.

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These are the ones that I thought told an interesting story over time of Lionel's career

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and work.

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Yeah.

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Now, it should be noted that, you know, in 2011, he started appearing on Alex Jones's

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show.

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And here is a clip from their first interaction.

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Oh, wait, wait, wait.

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So this his last clip that we just played for VHF is 2013, 2014.

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Around 2013.

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Right.

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So now we're going two years prior to that.

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So two years prior to the timeline isn't super important necessarily for this, this part

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of it.

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But yeah.

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Yeah.

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I mean, this is before the reelection when he starts appearing on Alex Jones's show.

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But it's pretty close to after when Air America folded.

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Right.

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So we're we're in that place.

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And I think this should speak volumes about why Lionel is very dumb.

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I'm Lionel.

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Great to have you on, my friend.

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I know.

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And I've got to tell you something, I every day I have listened to your show and I've

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listened for I don't know how many years my blood pressure goes up.

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I actually physically, viscerally respond to this.

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I get sick every single day.

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You make me sick this way.

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And I'm serious.

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There is not one show.

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There is not one day that goes by.

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Boy, I turn to my wife and say, what country are we living in?

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Number one, two.

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Where are the mainstream media?

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Where are these narcotized, zombified sock puppets?

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What are they talking about?

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Do you know that today, the big story is in New York, by the way, thank God you're not

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in New York for a variety of reasons, the president's here and Justin Bieber's here.

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That's it.

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And if you walked around and listen to local media news, you swear that those are the only

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two things that are happening on the planet in front of everybody, in full view, those

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are the stories.

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And I'm looking at your website and listen every day and I swear to you, my blood pressure

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is going up.

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My diastolic is through the roof.

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I don't know if I can take this anymore and I don't know how you do it.

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I've heard and if anybody who's ever, you know, I study your show, Alex, I love it.

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And I've devoted a lot of time to it and you've been a great inspiration for me and LionelMedia.com.

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So he's sick about it, Dan.

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He's ill about it.

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He's convalescent, Dan.

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He's got a disease.

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He is infected with so many different biomes.

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It's got thrombosis.

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Yeah, no kidding.

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Christ.

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I think what you see here is someone who probably is just, I don't, it's hard to say, I actually

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have a very strong theory on this.

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Okay.

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Lionel is a pathetic, stupid con man.

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I think he is marginally talented in the, in terms of expressing something, usually

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hacky things, but a lot of people like hacky things.

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It's a very large market for bad opinions.

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Gavin McInnes exists.

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Well, I mean, even beyond him, if you just go to like road comics, you know, like there's

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a lot of very terrible ones who make a very decent living because they're on the right

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circuits and middle of the road stuff that's kind of boring to anyone who thinks about

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things.

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But you know, like a lot of talk radio isn't very interesting.

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What?

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Yep.

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Unfortunately, this is bad.

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I have bad news.

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Dan.

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A lot of it is full of like really bad, bland opinions, but that is the wide net that can

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be cast.

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Catch more fish that way.

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The lowest common denominator, Dan.

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A person at the bottom rung can enjoy it.

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Somebody who's on the low part of the totem pole, culturally, we're at risk of becoming

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Lionel with this sort of hacky opinion that talk radio is bland.

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But I'm saying it in service of making the argument that I think that he fell into that

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scam after the OJ trial, I guess, because he realized that like law is hot.

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People are interested in hearing these legal opinions and stuff like that.

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I have a law degree from a bad college.

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I'm going to get into this game.

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I am least talented enough with the word that I can do this.

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You know, I can be charming enough.

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And so he did that.

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He got into that.

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And as he got into it, he fell into this, you know, local access TV news spot where

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he does his hacky, washed over, warmed up comedy routines that I wouldn't be surprised

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if there was an expose that turned out that he moonlighted going to open mics in New York

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and just writing down premises.

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Not surprising at all.

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I would not be surprised at all based on the level of quality I'm seeing here.

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So he does that for a bit, but it's not really doing all that well.

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It's not working out all that great.

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Gets involved with Air America.

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He is maybe in some ways responsible for Air America falling apart because of them turning

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their back on Sam Seder and making him a Sunday-only show.

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And when Air America falls apart, he's kind of left with, all right, I have a talk radio

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show that it's not really that great, makes a pivot towards the right.

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But he interprets as being the right at the time that is anti-Obama and in some ways glorifying

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Bush and Cheney.

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And absolutely anti-youth people.

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True.

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Yeah.

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Now he's still at that whole period of time, has the Ron Paul background.

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He still was on board with all that stuff.

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So it's a natural transition.

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So he's already a racist.

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Fair.

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It's a natural transition though for him to start getting involved with Alex Jones.

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Absolutely.

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As he gets involved with Alex Jones, whether it's because he recognizes how good Alex's

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scam is or whatever, he becomes radicalized a little bit and he starts to go down a harder

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path with Alex.

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His videos that he starts putting out on YouTube are more hardcore.

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They're a bit more...

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It goes from him in a news studio doing this shit to him in his office at a webcam doing

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30-minute videos that are a bit more extreme.

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Oh, that's not good.

Unknown Speaker (01:40:10.739)

Right.

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It's not a track, but still none of it is that successful.

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You still look at these numbers and the videos that he has that are posted of him doing these

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like news things.

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Hundreds of views.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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It's minuscule the number of views these ever got.

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And when he started broadcasting and going with Alex and that sort of thing, when he

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started doing his videos on YouTube, it's still only like a thousand views for these

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videos that have been online for five years, six years.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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As soon as he pivoted to Trump and as soon as he started doing QAnon stuff, it's now

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in the 50,000, 100,000 realm.

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He took a massive jump.

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And I think that that...

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I think it's the path of the con man.

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I think he's always been looking for the better con, the better game, and he found it.

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So you think what's going on is this is a dude who has just always been looking for

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a gig and he keeps jumping from gig to gig trying to find the bet.

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It's like somebody working at a company trying to move their way up the corporate ladder.

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And then eventually he becomes what he was pretending to be for the gig.

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Yeah.

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But what's interesting about it is I think you're right in characterizing it as like

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trying to get up the ladder or whatever.

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But I think that what he didn't realize probably is that the ladder leads to propaganda.

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Like the ladder that he was on, I think he thought it was commentating and having a position.

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But on the lower rungs of the ladder, it's not that hard and you can have poorly thought

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through hacky positions and maybe still coast through.

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As you go higher up the ladder, it becomes like malicious propaganda.

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And that's what he grew into.

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So I don't know.

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I don't know how to end this.

Unknown Speaker (01:42:01.180)

I don't know how to sum this up.

Unknown Speaker (01:42:04.239)

This was an attempt, I believe wholeheartedly, not to make a point.

Unknown Speaker (01:42:08.819)

It was I wanted to start the year on something that we could just laugh a bunch about and

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still have some conversation.

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Yeah.

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You're not just like, hey, this is all stupid.

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And I think Lionel's early work is definitely laughable.

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And so I think we I think we achieved that for sure with a small point about how he has

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also been a rank hypocrite.

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What I've always wanted to start the new year with, Dan.

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And what I feel like we missed last year, you know, with our secret of 2017.

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I think I know what it is.

Unknown Speaker (01:42:39.539)

Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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Lionel!

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IA

Unknown Speaker (01:43:09.520)

knowledge underscore fight, indeed. You can go to our Facebook group, go home and tell

Unknown Speaker (01:43:15.659)

Lionel you're brilliant. Absolutely. We're on iLionel. Leave a review comment. Download

Unknown Speaker (01:43:21.939)

a, leave a review that just says Lionel, Lionel, Lionel. God, I could do that all day. I fucking

Unknown Speaker (01:43:28.619)

love it. That is the worst theme song and I love it so much. It's so bad and it's so

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annoying, but it's so good. It's satisfying in a way that I did not know was possible.

Unknown Speaker (01:43:41.279)

It's so much like Icarus, like the hubris of that theme song. I know. It's amazing.

Unknown Speaker (01:43:46.619)

Oh God. And I wish, I'm going to show you as soon as we finish recording this, the video,

Unknown Speaker (01:43:51.680)

like the visual of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause it's just Lionel, like a fake yelling in a

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bullhorn. It's crazy. Everyone look it up. Tote bag crusher one, I believe is what it

Unknown Speaker (01:44:02.779)

was called. So good. We'll be back next time. But until then, get rid of your backpacks

Unknown Speaker (01:44:08.779)

indeed. But backpacks on the train, I don't think have ever killed anybody. I don't know

Unknown Speaker (01:44:13.560)

if that's true. I think, I think the chances are slim. The backpacks on the train have

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ever killed anybody. But one guy has technically probably killed a guy and that's Alex Jones.

Unknown Speaker (01:44:24.060)

Andy in Kansas. You're on the air. Thanks for holding.

Unknown Speaker (01:44:26.060)

Well, Alex, I'm a first time caller. I'm a huge fan. I love your work. I love you.