Transcript/170: Live In Austin
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Hey, everybody. Just wanted to stop in here with a quick introduction before we got into
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today's proceedings. What you are about to listen to is a live episode that myself, Dan,
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and my co-host Jordan recorded when we were down in Austin, Texas on Friday evening of
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the last week here, June 15th. Just such a great time going down there despite the ridiculous
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amount of travel in a very compact amount of time. Time was very tight, but everything
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was so delightful. I don't know, I want to thank everybody, but the list is so long of
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names of people to thank, so we'll get into some specifics later and discuss more of the
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details of the trip whenever me and Jordan sit back down for the next episode. But for
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now I just needed very sincerely to give a broad thank you to everybody who came out
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and made the event so fun and made it worthwhile to do all that ridiculous amount of traveling.
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Also thank you to everyone at Beerland. They were so spectacular and accommodating, and
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it's pretty absurd that they were able to record the show so competently and then also
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send it to me so quickly that we can put it out here on Monday. So a big thank you to
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them and everyone over there. But beyond that, thank you to all the Infowarriors for not
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coming, I guess. That's another thank you, because we'd rather not deal with y'all's
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asses. Anyway, I'm still exhausted, so at this point I think I'll probably take a nap.
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And you guys enjoy the episode. We'll see you soon for a regular in-studio one. Bye.
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We'll see you soon for a regular in-studio one. We'll see you soon for a regular in-studio
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one. We'll see you soon for a regular in-studio one. Bye.
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We'll see you soon for a regular in-studio one. Bye.
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We'll see you soon for a regular in-studio one.
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We'll see you soon for a regular in-studio one. Bye.
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We'll see you soon.
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We'll see you soon for a regular in-studio one. Bye.
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We'll see you soon for a regular in-studio one. Bye.
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We'll see you soon for a regular in-studio one. Bye.
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We'll see you soon for a regular in-studio one. Bye.
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We'll see you soon for a regular in-studio one. Bye.
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We'll see you soon for a regular in-studio one.
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We'll see you soon for a regular in-studio one. Bye.
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We'll see you soon for a regular in-studio one. Bye.
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We'll see you soon for a regular in-studio one. Bye.
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We'll see you soon for a regular in-studio one. Bye.
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We'll see you soon for a regular in-studio one. Bye.
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This clip is just great for reasons that I know because I've looked into it.
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I'm here, ladies and gentlemen, at 4.07 Central Standard Time.
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Many stations rebroadcast it in other time slots.
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We want to thank all of those affiliates, both the old affiliates and the new affiliates.
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I've been doing this syndicated radio broadcast for 20 years.
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And for about seven years, I've been broadcasting on Sundays.
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I figured that a lot of stations out there weren't ready to pick up the show weekdays.
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But if I could get them to try out the broadcast, that they would end up picking it up weekdays or weeknights.
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And that certainly happened. We went from about 70 affiliates seven years ago or so.
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Sixty-eight, seventy-something affiliates.
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And then with the Sunday show, almost every affiliate we've gotten has picked up the Sunday show.
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So, real quick, I just want to say, as a rule, I don't think that's a bad plan.
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I like to give Alex Jones his props when he deserves them.
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And that's a good plan. It's like, I could not get people on the hook for my dumbass show.
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But maybe they have a gap on Sunday.
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Maybe I could Trojan Horse this bitch onto your station.
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So that's good. I respect that. His numbers are way off, though.
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You give him a taste for free.
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One of the fun things is that the Wayback Machine exists. Archive.org.
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That's dangerous for people who lie. They don't like the Wayback Machine.
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There's lists of his affiliates that you can find from January 2015.
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And the numbers do not match up.
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How many did he say he had?
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It was like over 160 or something.
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It's nonsense. He has, even at the best estimate, like 100.
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And that's not accurate. I mean, I've gone through this.
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Two of them, just from Alaska.
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Two of them from Alaska, okay.
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Our Arco base camp. That's not a city.
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Wait, wait, wait, wait.
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That's a place where you start climbing a mountain.
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Wait, hold the fucking phone.
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Are you telling me that, of all the places, if you were to go to a base camp in Antarctica,
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or Alaska, you would suddenly hear Alex Jones.
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You might.
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That would be a bummer. That would be a bummer.
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More of a bummer, Jordan. Check this out.
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We're going to make it to the top of this fucking mountain.
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You're all going to die and everything is made of evil.
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Everything is made of evil and you are your children.
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You are your children and they will eat you alive.
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What?
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All right, let's climb Everest. Okay.
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I'm just not going to, I guess. Fuck it.
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If someone else has ever done it, I have done it too by the transitive property of all of us.
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Who cares?
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Where else would you find globalists but at the top of the mountain?
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You make a good point.
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And now I have a good point.
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Another one of his affiliates from Alaska is in Kuparuk, Alaska.
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If you Google Kuparuk, Alaska, you find that that is also not a city.
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That is the Kuparuk River oil field.
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One of his affiliates is a fucking river.
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It's just a yurt.
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So that's not great.
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I started looking through his affiliates that he had on just the Sunday show.
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And there's supposedly 83 according to the Genesis Communications Network.
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I'm sorry, 35.
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35.
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Just on Sundays.
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I started looking through them and man, first of all, they're all gone now.
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And also, not all gone, but I went through-
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This was two years ago. They're all gone.
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Oh, Jesus, yeah.
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Three years ago now.
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It's a disaster.
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It's rats getting off a sinking ship.
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Okay. All right.
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And it's not even impressive rats.
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It's like rats with a population of 2,000 and rivers.
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It's a lazy rat king is what it is.
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Yeah.
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So the reality on the ground is very, very clearly that he's losing affiliates.
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Right.
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It's not going great.
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Right.
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And that leads him to make this declaration, which basically amounts to,
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hey guys, don't be suspicious about the fact that all of the radio stations I'm on are going away.
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I can't tell you how many times I've been on a station in Orlando or in Corpus Christi or in New York City or in Los Angeles-
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New York City?
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Or in St. Louis or in Minnesota.
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St. Paul, I remember, and we're on for a couple of years, get great listenership.
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It's just that they sell or they change format.
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That's what happens.
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And that's why no one listening to this broadcast should take it for granted.
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Because these type of hardcore, pro-America, common sense, Americana constitutional views are very popular.
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They are common sense.
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But at the same time, the power structure and the entire system does not like to fund it.
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Okay.
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Like Denzel.
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Like all of the progressive radio that's been wildly marketed and very successful.
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Right.
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Right, right, right.
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So now might be the time of the show that I should just lay it out there and tell you that this is the last episode Alex broadcasted on KLBJ here in Austin.
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Yes!
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This episode is the last time Alex Jones was broadcast on the radio in Austin, Texas.
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So that explains kind of why his mood is in this fatalistic, doomed-
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So what you're saying is we are actually listening to the ghost of Armageddon's past.
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More or less.
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And he's describing it as the ghost of Armageddon's future.
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Well because he knows the contract is up and he's gone, but he doesn't want to say that on air.
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Right.
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He has to just lay the track of like, everything is great, don't worry about it, we've got tons of affiliates, one of them's a river.
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Admittedly, this was the day that Austin classified sheepdogs as service animals, right?
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I'm unclear on- that did not come up in my research.
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Cannot say one way or the other.
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Cannot confirm nor deny, I gotcha.
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So what's real fun is that the next week KLBJ began airing brokered programming in his time slot, a show about retirement planning.
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That's good news.
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That was one hour of it.
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And then the other hours-
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What retirement is there other than buying gold?
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Oh, it's a great retirement plan.
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Okay.
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And then the other show, the replacement for the other hour is called Seton Healthline.
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Seton Healthline?
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Yeah, so that is what ended up happening, but-
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All of them sponsored by Diamond Gusset Jeans, right?
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Oh, Random Jeans.
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Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Despite that, Alex is trying to keep a very sunny face on, and he goes into this about how everything is totally fine, don't worry about it.
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And we've had a lot of ups and downs in 20 years on air, but if you look at the graph, it just goes straight up.
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To frightening levels.
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It's frightening.
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It's frightening.
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It's terrifying.
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If it were true, that would be terrifying. I'm not lying about that.
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So now, according to him it's frightening, but according to archive.org in the wayback machine, you can go to Alexa and find out his stats.
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You can find his traffic.
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And Jordan, this is from January 2015. How would you describe that graph?
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I would call it down fast.
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Precipitous.
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Rah!
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I would call it like a ski drop, but instead it was the movie cliffhanger and they died at the end.
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I was really hoping that we could have a PowerPoint presentation going and everything, but I'll show anyone who wants to see this after the show, let's say.
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For the podcast listeners, fucking should have been here. That's all I'm saying.
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That's all I'm saying.
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Hey, we love Sonya.
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But in terms of rankings of global websites, what you see is that in about September 2014, Alex Jones was at about 1200 globally.
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The 1200th top website.
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October?
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Within a month, 3200th. He dropped 2000 rankings. It is a ski slope. It's a disaster.
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It's terrifying. It's terrifying how up it went.
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And mysteriously, if you go to Prison Planet statistics from the exact same time, same drop.
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Which leads me to believe something's a mess. Something's afoot.
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Something is up.
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So at this point, Alex talks about what he would like to present as his statistics are.
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Okay.
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My rank right now in the US is 544.
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Nope.
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Oh, I'm sorry. MSNBC is 544. We're 356 in the US. I thought we'd gone down. I'm sorry. We've gone up about 100 points. Sorry.
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Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. My bad.
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350-something. Sorry. So that's why they have George Soros' Media Matters doing investigations on us, sending private detectives.
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Private detectives?
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Literally digging through our trash cans.
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What are you going to find in that trash can?
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What are you going to find in that trash can?
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I like the idea of a Sheila Hammett novel written about Alex Jones.
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Like, we got a private eye and there's a whole film noir about it.
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The femme fatale is Alex's wife and then the kids get lost? I don't know.
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Femme fatale is Soros.
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Femme fatale is Soros?
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Yeah, that's what's going on.
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Soros. Gotcha.
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So as he's saying this, he flashes up on screen a dual view here.
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And again, if you want to see this, I'll fucking show it to you.
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But what it is is the Alexa page of his website and MSNBC's website.
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The MSNBC one is current in 2015.
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The one of his is from right before that massive drop in 2014, in September.
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He has very clearly manipulated this to make it look like that big drop never happened and is lying to his audience.
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And who cares? I care about this. I don't know why I care about this.
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Well, that's fascinating because he knows that there was a massive drop in traffic.
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Oh yeah.
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He cannot help but know that, especially because he's bringing up Alexa stats from another website.
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Well, he's saying that, but maybe, you know, you might, you might.
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Does he have a different Alexa than everybody else?
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He might argue that the Alexa statistics aren't accurate because he hasn't said that that was from the website Alexa.
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He's just flashed up numbers.
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All right.
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But unfortunately, he goes on to say this.
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Well, as we know, Soros controls numbers.
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Alexa.com and it'll, it's an Amazon company that does online ratings. It's pretty accurate overall.
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It matches our Google Analytics and other ad agency, Arbitron, wide spectrum analysis we have.
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And you look at it and it's scary how the numbers fit depending on the metric, whether it's Google Analytics or, or what Amazon uses.
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So you just admitted that what I've just told you is totally accurate.
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So, I mean, if you look into what I said, yes, it's not true, but don't worry about it because other websites can confirm it's not true.
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Don't worry about it.
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So anyway, he blows hard a bunch longer.
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He says he has 18 million listeners, but if you go to talkers, the, you know, it's, it's the closest that you come to actual ratings for talk radio.
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You find that Rush Limbaugh has 14 million.
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He's number one in the game for like 10 years.
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Jesus.
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And Alex Jones is coming in down at 13 with about 5.9 million.
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So, I mean, that's still a lot of listeners.
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I'm going to take that away.
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When did he start claiming that he had like 3.5 billion?
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When did he start claiming that he had 60% of the population of the whole planet Earth?
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That was, that was when that like a super male vitality psychosis kicked in.
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Oh, okay.
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All right.
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All right.
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That was when Buckley done mixed some nothing with his.
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What was that in February?
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Yeah.
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He put it on a burger and he's like, I guess the whole world listens.
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No, it's a, it's a slow acting sedative narcotic.
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Someone was putting in his super male.
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Right, right, right.
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Cause he doesn't.
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Hashtag me too.
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Cause he doesn't drink diet Cokes.
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So at this point, uh, we were going to jump away a little bit from just the bullshit about
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the statistics and I'm actually kind of kicking myself.
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Maybe I shouldn't have told you this was the last episode.
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Okay.
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LBJ.
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Maybe I tipped my hand too early, but, uh, here's a clip where, Hey, death comes to us
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all, but for you, you die without honor.
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You're not far off.
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And they should be because if a bumbling, stuttering hillbilly redneck with no college
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degree can be kicking your Ash worldwide right now, can you imagine when the other men greater
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than I stand up, it's game over.
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And let me give you a message that I've been given for 20 years because in my heart, I've
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always known this.
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So right there real quick, before we get to the message, it's a message he's been getting
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for 20 years, this message, because he knows it in his heart, which leads me to believe
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he has not been getting this message.
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It's just, it's just a delusion that he feels internally.
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But here's what that is.
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Pixies are real.
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I'm here to blow the alarm, to blow the trumpet, to get the real warriors up.
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That's all I'm doing.
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I got big lungs.
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I'm willing to scream out.
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Okay.
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The real warriors.
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He's got all you need.
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Mike Cernovich.
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Jack Posobek.
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I'm screaming, come out of the woodwork.
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Please.
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The real warriors.
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Please.
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Cool.
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Cool.
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Is Orange Troyer in the mix yet?
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This is 2015, right?
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I don't fucking know.
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All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:23:41.079)
Well, this is kind of your show, so you should know what fucking year it is.
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I'll tell you what, I do have a timeline working about Alex himself.
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I have not branched out to what Owen Troyer is up to.
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See, now I'm kind of interested in what Owen Troyer was doing before.
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Fine.
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The next six months, I'll just study him.
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Yeah.
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No, that's not what's good.
Unknown Speaker (00:23:59.079)
No, we're going to be happy about that.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:01.079)
I go down to St. Louis, try and find out what his real name is.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:05.079)
Not going to do that.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:07.079)
So at this point, Alex gets into some financials.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:10.079)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:11.079)
I'll say this, these numbers lead me to believe we got some problems.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:16.079)
So he's a billionaire, right?
Unknown Speaker (00:24:19.079)
No.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:20.079)
Or he's broke.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:21.079)
He's never what he is.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:24.079)
He's never like, I am a millionaire who owns a few boats and it's no big deal.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:29.079)
He's always like, I'm the richest fucking human being that's ever goddamn lived.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:34.079)
Or he's like, these lawsuits have made me fucking broke.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:38.079)
I don't know my own children's name anymore.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:42.079)
I'm not allowed to see my kids.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:45.079)
And if you don't buy this fucking pill, auto ship, auto ship gives you a 40% discount.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:54.079)
I need to know.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:57.079)
I love you.
Unknown Speaker (00:25:03.079)
That's fantastic.
Unknown Speaker (00:25:04.079)
Yep.
Unknown Speaker (00:25:05.079)
Yep.
Unknown Speaker (00:25:06.079)
Good work.
Unknown Speaker (00:25:07.079)
And I'm not looking for physical wealth, but I have raised, I did the math a few months
Unknown Speaker (00:25:12.079)
ago with the accountants, $187 million in 20 years to finance this operation.
Unknown Speaker (00:25:19.079)
That's an example of what one person can do.
Unknown Speaker (00:25:22.079)
Over 20 years.
Unknown Speaker (00:25:23.079)
Cost me tens of millions of dollars a year to run this operation and you, the listeners
Unknown Speaker (00:25:27.079)
have come and supported us with the high quality products and info war score.com.
Unknown Speaker (00:25:32.079)
And we've put 95% of that money back into the operation after taxes.
Unknown Speaker (00:25:37.079)
And it's had a huge effect.
Unknown Speaker (00:25:38.079)
So I salute you all.
Unknown Speaker (00:25:40.079)
You have helped forge this short.
Unknown Speaker (00:25:43.079)
Bone broth.
Unknown Speaker (00:25:45.079)
Tree bone broth, bro.
Unknown Speaker (00:25:47.079)
He goes on to talk about how that sword will stab globalists or something.
Unknown Speaker (00:25:51.079)
But, um, the sword of bones will stab globalists.
Unknown Speaker (00:25:54.079)
This is game of Thrones.
Unknown Speaker (00:25:55.079)
Absolutely.
Unknown Speaker (00:25:56.079)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:25:57.079)
Um, so the problem that I have is 180 something million dollars that he's raised over 20 years.
Unknown Speaker (00:26:02.079)
If you break that down, you divide it out.
Unknown Speaker (00:26:05.079)
That's $9 million a year.
Unknown Speaker (00:26:06.079)
If he's saying it costs tens of millions of dollars to run the operation every year, where's
Unknown Speaker (00:26:11.079)
the rest of them millions coming from buddy?
Unknown Speaker (00:26:13.079)
187 is not that much over 20 years to run the operation he's claiming to run.
Unknown Speaker (00:26:18.079)
And that's not including a salary for himself.
Unknown Speaker (00:26:21.079)
That's probably including a salary.
Unknown Speaker (00:26:23.079)
It's probably mostly a salary.
Unknown Speaker (00:26:26.079)
I talked myself full circle on that one.
Unknown Speaker (00:26:29.079)
I like it when you give up on a point on your own.
Unknown Speaker (00:26:33.079)
Well, I was saying something and now I disagree with me so we can move on.
Unknown Speaker (00:26:38.079)
Yeah, I suppose so.
Unknown Speaker (00:26:41.079)
You have spent months on this episode and you disagreed with yourself the moment you
Unknown Speaker (00:26:46.079)
heard the actual thing.
Unknown Speaker (00:26:47.079)
All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:26:48.079)
That happens.
Unknown Speaker (00:26:49.079)
All right, here we go.
Unknown Speaker (00:26:50.079)
We're never so clear about ideas as we are when we're in front of people.
Unknown Speaker (00:26:55.079)
William Shakespeare.
Unknown Speaker (00:27:00.079)
Figure that might save it a little.
Unknown Speaker (00:27:07.079)
So we all know that as of late 2015, Alex Jones jumped full hog into being a Trump propagandist.
Unknown Speaker (00:27:18.079)
We watched that happen in real time.
Unknown Speaker (00:27:20.079)
But you might be asking yourself like at January 2015, where were his allegiances?
Unknown Speaker (00:27:25.079)
He's back on Rand Paul, right?
Unknown Speaker (00:27:27.079)
You might think that.
Unknown Speaker (00:27:28.079)
You're wrong.
Unknown Speaker (00:27:29.079)
All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:27:30.079)
Palin says he's seriously interested in the 2016 campaign.
Unknown Speaker (00:27:32.079)
Hey, I'll say it.
Unknown Speaker (00:27:34.079)
Palin's a lot better than Jeb Bush or Chris Christie.
Unknown Speaker (00:27:37.079)
She's the real deal.
Unknown Speaker (00:27:39.079)
And that's why the system attacks her and says she's dumb because she's a woman with
Unknown Speaker (00:27:43.079)
these fake feminist dirt bags that are really just social controllers that want to dominate
Unknown Speaker (00:27:47.079)
women and lecture to them and not let them make their own decisions.
Unknown Speaker (00:27:50.079)
Every fake leftist feminist doesn't want a woman to be armed.
Unknown Speaker (00:27:53.079)
That right there shows you don't care about women.
Unknown Speaker (00:27:55.079)
I mean, Sarah Palin is so much better than the current so-called neocon leadership of
Unknown Speaker (00:28:02.079)
the Republican Party.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:03.079)
So real fun.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:04.079)
You know what's weird?
Unknown Speaker (00:28:05.079)
That actually might be true.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:06.079)
That's the weirdest part.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:08.079)
Yeah, but you know.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:09.079)
Neocon leadership at that time is fucking garbage.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:11.079)
At least Sarah Palin was just fucking stupid.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:13.079)
Like, you got to give her that.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:15.079)
You sound like one of these bumbly dumb liberal male feminists who don't want women to have
Unknown Speaker (00:28:20.079)
guns.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:21.079)
That's true.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:22.079)
That's true.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:23.079)
So you might be surprised to find out that in 2010, Alex Jones put out a video with the
Unknown Speaker (00:28:27.079)
title, Neocon Palin's Tea Party takeover will facilitate Obama reelection.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:32.079)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:33.079)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:34.079)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:35.079)
Calls her a neocon and saying she's taking over the Tea Party.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:36.079)
Also, in 2010, he put out a two-part video.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:39.079)
Two parts.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:40.079)
That was titled, Sarah Palin is not going to save you.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:45.079)
Three exclamation points.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:46.079)
Three exclamation points.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:48.079)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:49.079)
So that's a little bit.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:50.079)
Anything between two and four is disgusting.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:51.079)
Yeah, but this is even more disgusting.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:54.079)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:55.079)
Is she as good as Rand Paul or Ted Cruz?
Unknown Speaker (00:28:58.079)
No.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:59.079)
She'd make a hell of a VP.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:01.079)
That's a winning ticket right there.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:02.079)
Let's get down.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:03.079)
Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:04.079)
Can you imagine Cruz, Palin?
Unknown Speaker (00:29:06.079)
Or.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:07.079)
And I'm sorry if she was as smart or as constitutional as a Ted Cruz, I'd say her.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:16.079)
But I mean, I just, I've listened to them both, read their writings.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:18.079)
They're both really smart.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:20.079)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:21.079)
Real quick.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:22.079)
What writings?
Unknown Speaker (00:29:23.079)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:24.079)
All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:25.079)
What writings?
Unknown Speaker (00:29:26.079)
What?
Unknown Speaker (00:29:27.079)
What?
Unknown Speaker (00:29:28.079)
Like at the end of the day, what readings?
Unknown Speaker (00:29:29.079)
What if they're?
Unknown Speaker (00:29:30.079)
Who knows?
Unknown Speaker (00:29:31.079)
Hold on.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:32.079)
Hold on.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:33.079)
Hold on.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:34.079)
Wait for the end of the clip.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:35.079)
Wait for the end of the clip.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:36.079)
What?
Unknown Speaker (00:29:37.079)
Can you imagine that?
Unknown Speaker (00:29:38.079)
Can you imagine Cruz, Palin in 2016?
Unknown Speaker (00:29:40.079)
Yeah, kind of.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:41.079)
Can you imagine how great that would be?
Unknown Speaker (00:29:44.079)
I don't think in the law and giving slick speeches, I'm as good as Ted Cruz.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:50.079)
I'm sorry.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:51.079)
He's just more presidential.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:52.079)
It's just the winning ticket is Ted Cruz, Sarah Palin or Rand Paul, Sarah Palin.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:58.079)
I mean, just it cannot be beaten.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:00.079)
Look at every Democrat.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:01.079)
I'm sorry.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:02.079)
I'm salivating.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:03.079)
I'm sorry.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:04.079)
I'm sorry.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:06.079)
I'm having all they call them precipitation dreams.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:10.079)
I better stop right now.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:12.079)
Gross.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:13.079)
Gross.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:14.079)
All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:15.079)
All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:16.079)
All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:17.079)
Gross.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:18.079)
All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:19.079)
He just jizzed.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:20.079)
All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:21.079)
All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:22.079)
He just jizzed without touching himself.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:26.079)
There are so many problems.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:29.079)
All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:30.079)
One, who is he coming to?
Unknown Speaker (00:30:33.079)
And two, who calls them precipitation dreams?
Unknown Speaker (00:30:38.079)
I love the idea.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:39.079)
That's a dream about rain.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:42.079)
I love the idea that he's trying to clean up his language for radio so he can't say wet.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:49.079)
Got to call it precipitation dreams.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:51.079)
So real fun.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:52.079)
You know, some people call them wet dreams, but I'm not that kind of gross.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:55.079)
So I just call them coming in my pants all the time.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:59.079)
So it's real fun that he's super into Ted Cruz at this point, January 2015.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:04.079)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:05.079)
Would it surprise you to find out that in 2016 he put out a video, did Cruz drop out to cover up Kennedy assassination connection?
Unknown Speaker (00:31:17.079)
Also, would it surprise you that it gets worse?
Unknown Speaker (00:31:19.079)
He put out a video in 2016 with the title, Ted Cruz, a cross-dressing peeping Tom, question mark?
Unknown Speaker (00:31:28.079)
Yes.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:29.079)
Now, that is a good question.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:31.079)
Fair.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:32.079)
It may or may not be true, but that's a good question.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:35.079)
Inquiring minds want to know.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:39.079)
Very weird.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:40.079)
There's an episode of the Magic School Bus about it.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:43.079)
So that's pretty strange.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:44.079)
I think that to me is like, that's fun.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:48.079)
That's a real fun shift you made there, buddy.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:50.079)
Very not suspicious.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:52.079)
So at this point, Alex decides to jump into the news.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:55.079)
And at this point, the Patriots had won the Super Bowl under what some people describe as suspicious circumstances.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:02.079)
Ted Cruz.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:04.079)
Deflate games.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:05.079)
What's going on?
Unknown Speaker (00:32:06.079)
You remember this?
Unknown Speaker (00:32:07.079)
Zodiac killer, question mark?
Unknown Speaker (00:32:09.079)
Did Ted Cruz deflate the footballs?
Unknown Speaker (00:32:12.079)
I don't care particularly about sports or cheating in sports.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:16.079)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:17.079)
So I don't have a thought about this, and I've only kept this clip in to watch Alex Jones get really fucking bent out of shape about people making ball jokes.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:26.079)
And then 20 seconds later, make some really happy ass ball jokes.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:31.079)
Oh, he's definitely going to make a ball joke.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:33.079)
People love, oh yeah, the Patriots, they're involved in a conspiracy and everybody wants to email me and talk about it and go over every level of it and why the teams bring their own balls and everything else.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:47.079)
And there's all the ball jokes that go along with it.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:50.079)
Taking the high road on this one.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:54.079)
How is there a conspiracy here, but there's not with LIBOR and world interest rates?
Unknown Speaker (00:32:59.079)
That's a good question.
Unknown Speaker (00:33:01.079)
Or derivatives.
Unknown Speaker (00:33:02.079)
I mean, that's what really affects you.
Unknown Speaker (00:33:04.079)
That's where you're really being screwed over.
Unknown Speaker (00:33:06.079)
But it's boring suits and ties.
Unknown Speaker (00:33:07.079)
I mean, who cares?
Unknown Speaker (00:33:09.079)
So let's cover this right now.
Unknown Speaker (00:33:10.079)
Patriots say they follow the rules and accept no blame.
Unknown Speaker (00:33:16.079)
Belichick says 100% Patriots did nothing wrong.
Unknown Speaker (00:33:20.079)
Well, there's referees that you see handling those balls.
Unknown Speaker (00:33:24.079)
I mean, they love to squeeze on them and see if they're inflated or not.
Unknown Speaker (00:33:28.079)
You know, by the end of the game, I guess they, do they drain them before they sell them on eBay or whatever?
Unknown Speaker (00:33:38.079)
Or is that Obama?
Unknown Speaker (00:33:40.079)
Oh, shots fired at Obama draining balls.
Unknown Speaker (00:33:50.079)
So as a, I've quit doing standup, but as a, as you can see right now, you're sitting down the whole fucking time.
Unknown Speaker (00:33:58.079)
Absolutely.
Unknown Speaker (00:33:59.079)
I like to be casual from a stand.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:02.079)
Like if you were a judge on last comic standing.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:05.079)
Yes.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:06.079)
How do you, first of all, I would say cancel this show.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:09.079)
Fair.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:10.079)
How do you feel about them ball jokes?
Unknown Speaker (00:34:12.079)
That's pretty gross, right?
Unknown Speaker (00:34:13.079)
That's pretty bad.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:14.079)
Do they, do they, do they have a, is it like a star search thing?
Unknown Speaker (00:34:19.079)
I give them three and a half stars.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:21.079)
That's, that's hot.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:22.079)
I give them three and a half stars.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:23.079)
That's very hot.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:24.079)
You know why?
Unknown Speaker (00:34:25.079)
He had the balls to do it.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:34.079)
That's fair.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:35.079)
That's fair.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:37.079)
Give me one.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:38.079)
All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:39.079)
I'll put minus one on there for you.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:40.079)
God damn it.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:41.079)
Also, I like, I like as a new wrinkle in our show, me doing finger guns into the air and
Unknown Speaker (00:34:49.079)
yelling.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:50.079)
When we, when we finally get that soundboard with, uh, oh God, we're going to be amazing.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:56.079)
You know, what's really tragic.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:58.079)
Those are cheapest shit.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:01.079)
We could be doing that right now.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:04.079)
We can get 30 people in Austin on three months notice.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:09.079)
No big deal.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:11.079)
Hell yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:12.079)
Thank you guys so much for coming out.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:16.079)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:17.079)
Now I'd like to poll the audience.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:19.079)
Make some noise if you like the Renaissance.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:22.079)
Do you, do you, because if you know Dan, you know, he's going to take that from you and
Unknown Speaker (00:35:31.079)
steal it.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:32.079)
You don't love the Renaissance.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:33.079)
He's going to destroy it for you.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:35.079)
Oh, everybody had the fucking plague or whatever.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:38.079)
Fuck off.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:39.079)
Well, there were diseases, but, um, civilists, Alex believes that the primary motivation,
Unknown Speaker (00:35:47.079)
or at least he's expressing this opinion on this episode, that the primary motivation
Unknown Speaker (00:35:51.079)
for the globalists to want to crush everybody right.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:54.079)
Is that they fucking hate the Renaissance, which we kind of know that a little bit.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:59.079)
That's sort of, we know that that's sort of piece of his worldview, but he makes a very,
Unknown Speaker (00:36:03.079)
very weird, weird, uh, line here.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:06.079)
And I think, I think it might set off some historical buzzers.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:10.079)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:11.079)
And their stated plan is to end the Renaissance that started roughly 500 years ago with the
Unknown Speaker (00:36:19.079)
Gutenberg press.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:20.079)
That's not how that works.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:21.079)
That's the printing press, ladies and gentlemen, that first printed the Gutenberg Bible.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:25.079)
This is their own stated goal.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:28.079)
I'm going to get into Davos openly announcing this in a moment.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:31.079)
Understand?
Unknown Speaker (00:36:32.079)
What?
Unknown Speaker (00:36:33.079)
They're announcing this.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:34.079)
They're not allowed to say it's not happening.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:36.079)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:37.079)
What?
Unknown Speaker (00:36:38.079)
Where, where are your problems with that clip Jordan?
Unknown Speaker (00:36:43.079)
Hold on.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:44.079)
First off, uh, when did the Renaissance begin, Dan?
Unknown Speaker (00:36:47.079)
500 years ago with the Gutenberg press.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:49.079)
500 years ago.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:50.079)
All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:51.079)
All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:52.079)
That's not accurate at all.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:53.079)
Well, also do historians agree that the Renaissance didn't end until the globalists?
Unknown Speaker (00:36:58.079)
Yeah, it's still going baby.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:00.079)
Is it still going and the globalists are still like, Oh, we're going to stop this Renaissance.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:03.079)
From what I understand now, granted, I'm not an ancient or old timey European scholar,
Unknown Speaker (00:37:10.079)
but, uh, from my understanding, the Renaissance refers primarily to something that happened
Unknown Speaker (00:37:15.079)
in Italy.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:16.079)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:17.079)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:18.079)
And about like 13th century.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:19.079)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:20.079)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:21.079)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:22.079)
And spread across Europe.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:23.079)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:24.079)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:25.079)
But 500 years ago in the, in what?
Unknown Speaker (00:37:26.079)
The 1700s?
Unknown Speaker (00:37:27.079)
So I started, I started.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:28.079)
1600s.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:29.079)
I started to think about it.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:30.079)
1500s?
Unknown Speaker (00:37:31.079)
It went on a while.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:32.079)
I started to think about it and then I was like, maybe, maybe I don't understand what
Unknown Speaker (00:37:36.079)
he's talking about.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:37.079)
What Renaissance is he referring to?
Unknown Speaker (00:37:38.960)
So let the man speak.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:39.960)
We'll see if we can get down to some brass tacks.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:42.079)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:43.079)
Can you guys give me the date of the Gutenberg?
Unknown Speaker (00:37:45.400)
I think it's Tuesday 14, late 14s, if I'm right, maybe 15 early.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:51.039)
I forget.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:52.039)
Let's just see.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:53.039)
I wouldn't win.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:54.039)
Jeopardy's the point, but let's, let's just, but that's established by most historians
Unknown Speaker (00:37:57.880)
that the Gutenberg press, the printing press is the mark of the beginning of the Renaissance.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:04.400)
So the elites, the royalty, the church, they're all worried about it.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:07.880)
What do they do?
Unknown Speaker (00:38:09.280)
They begin to try to use licenses and other things to control the new Renaissance.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:13.440)
They try to take control of society.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:15.519)
They fund Malthus and they fund Galton and they fund eugenics in the last 200 years.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:20.719)
Hold on now.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:21.719)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:22.719)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:23.719)
We skipped over, we skipped over a lot of time, but don't worry about it.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:26.320)
We dah, dah, dah, our way to Francis Galton.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:29.480)
It was Gutenberg, then Galton, and then we're done.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:32.239)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:33.239)
And now we're here.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:34.239)
And then Soros fucking showed up.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:36.360)
There's fucking chimeras.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:39.840)
So I thought about it a little bit and he can't be talking about that Italian Renaissance
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like the philosophical and architectural and artistic aesthetic movement.
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So I did a little.
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Dan, you looked it up.
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What's the exact date of the Gutenberg press?
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It's pretty close to what he's talking about.
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It's like 14 something.
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I actually didn't care all that much to find it.
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Which is roughly a hundred years after the Renaissance as we know it.
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Well, a lot of it, I mean, I don't think it's the specific beginning point, but a lot of
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like Dante is part of the beginning of the Renaissance.
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Right.
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Right, right.
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It would be stupid of me to sit up here and say that the Gutenberg press was not a huge
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part of facilitating the spread of the ideas and what have you.
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Never heard of it.
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But also a movable type was invented in China way before that.
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But- Petty.
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Petty.
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So it's like, are there more Renaissance's and of course there are.
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The American Renaissance took place between 1876 and 1917 was a period where America rediscovered
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nationalism.
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Right.
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And I started smelling, oh, that could be what he's talking about.
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Okay.
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Might be shifting a couple hundred years.
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But that wasn't 500 years ago.
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No, but he could bring in Galton then.
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I'll tell you what Renaissance he wasn't talking about, the Harlem Renaissance.
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I'll tell you that right goddamn now.
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Jordan just beat me to my joke.
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Yeah.
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Take that racist.
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I think this might be 200 episodes in you finally beat me to a joke.
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That's not fair.
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It's probably happened before.
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And I just put my tail between my legs, pretended it didn't happen.
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All right.
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Also, there was an American Renaissance in literature that happened during just before
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the civil war.
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But I think Alex is illiterate, so I don't think he's talking about that.
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Right.
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Right.
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Right.
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Again, the Harlem Renaissance isn't what he's talking about.
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Oh, just fun.
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There's a white supremacist magazine called the American Renaissance.
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They claim to be out to, quote, protect Western culture.
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Oh, that's good.
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Yeah.
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But they don't have as much to lose as Alex.
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So they make it very clear they're talking about white people.
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Right.
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They make it absolutely clear.
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Why even say Western?
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Why even bother with it?
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It's fun code.
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Oh, okay.
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Probably gets you beat up less, I would assume.
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So the American Renaissance, the founder of it, a guy named Jared Taylor, paid for a robo
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call to go out before the Iowa caucuses that said, quote, I urge you to vote for Donald
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Trump because he is the one candidate who points out that we should accept immigrants
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who are good for America.
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We don't need Muslims.
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We need smart, well-educated white people who will assimilate into our culture.
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Vote Trump.
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So I'm not saying that Alex is talking about that American Renaissance, but boy, it's familiar.
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Yeah.
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It seems similar.
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Seems thematically very similar.
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Where are we getting all these white immigrants?
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I don't know.
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Where are they coming from?
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Eastern Europe.
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Eastern Europe?
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I don't know.
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Are we getting a lot of Russian immigrants?
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I want to know the numbers on it.
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I'd like to make that noise.
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The sound of a sheepdog in heat.
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I don't know.
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There might be some people who have never listened to our podcast and that might explain
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why I think this room got very uncomfortable during me reading about a white supremacist
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publication that bears shocking similarities to the rhetoric that Alex Jones puts out.
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If you've never heard our podcast before, we're just going to keep talking.
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It's a weird thing.
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This is the whole show.
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If you keep talking, Alex will say some more stupid stuff and then burlesque dancing will
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happen.
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So it's going to be a good fucking show.
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It's kind of like, you know, you take your medicine and that's this show.
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We can all have fun.
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Then you get a chaser.
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Yeah, I like it.
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Um, so at this point, Alex wants to talk a little bit about, uh, uh, nefarious villain.
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Which one?
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Al Gore.
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Oh, I thought it was Jafar.
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Here's another one.
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Al Gore spends 90 trillion to ban cars from every major city in the world daily caller
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and it's got his quotes and the GCEC study that says just ban cars entirely because the
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elite fly helicopters.
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Anyways, that makes sense.
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What do you, what, what, how's the smell test going for you on that one?
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All right.
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Is there $90 trillion period in the world?
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Yeah, I think so.
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Probably.
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Where?
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I mean, maybe not all dollars.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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If the entire wealth of humanity was put together, would it equal $90 trillion?
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Yeah, absolutely.
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You think so?
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Absolutely.
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I've never read a business insider article about this.
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All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:43:08.119)
Well, once again, you fucking researched it and now I look like an asshole.
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Aha.
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That's, that's the research equivalent of you beating me to a joke.
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This is the worst Harlem Renaissance.
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So he says that there's all, there's quotes from Al Gore in this daily caller article
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and there's not a, well, there's one quote in it.
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Ban cars cause I can fly a helicopter.
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Spoiler alert.
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This article is just about having more public transit for people.
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That's all he wanted.
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He was the most bad cars.
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Do you know the CTA is looking into helicopters?
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Oh, absolutely.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Very efficient.
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The red line is so slow in the morning.
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What's going on here?
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Is there a smoke machine?
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Is our fog machine gone?
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All right.
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Sorry.
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I might be having a stroke.
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Can I get another, can I get another beer?
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Yeah.
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What's up?
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There's a goth club?
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Hell yeah.
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Fuck yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Goths just celebrate death.
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All right.
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I don't know.
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That's me being petty.
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So the only quote- Now I want to do that Paul F. Tompkins joke
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in Alex Jones's voice.
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Just that, just that, I saw a goth running and I was like, where's the funeral?
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Now I'm going to be Alex Jones being a judge on star search.
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One and a half stars.
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So the only quote from Al Gore in that article is this, quote, it is absolutely crucial that
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we build public will for an agreement.
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The purpose is to have a billion voices with one message to demand climate action now.
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That's not even related to the issue that Alex is pretending that the article is about.
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And again, it's just about public transit in developing cities, trying to create more
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of it and improving public transit in existing urban areas.
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So I had to go further than the Daily Caller article because you always do.
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Oh, did you?
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Yeah.
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Oh, did you?
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Yeah.
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So I read this Business Insider article that quoted-
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Hey, Dan here.
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I just wanted to stop in.
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I needed to drop in here because we had a situation where the recording of the episode
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here filled up the card that we were recording on.
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And so there's a tiny little bit of a drop off in terms of just a little bit of the conversation
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drops out.
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And so I just wanted to step in here and fill you in on what we were talking about.
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This was in the middle of a conversation we were having about Al Gore wanting to ban cars.
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And I guess I don't need to set it up.
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You guys just heard it.
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But anyway, the Business Insider article, it goes on to explain that Felipe Calderon
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was quoted as talking about how there's a priority that we don't build up cities that
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pointlessly have low density just for the sake of people using cars and that it's much
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smarter and much more efficient that we should have higher density areas with mass transportation
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that services everybody in much more efficient ways.
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As somebody who lives in a city with amazing mass transportation and then also limited
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mass transportation out to the suburbs where a lot of people like to live, I feel very
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much in line.
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I very much agree with that.
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And then also, Alex's reporting on this, of the story, is him saying that Al Gore wants
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to spend $90 trillion in order to ban cars, which is a massive, massive misrepresentation
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of things.
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Jordan at the show would ask if there was actually $90 trillion in the world.
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And I said, I do know that because of this Business Insider article.
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And then it goes, here's why.
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Here's the quote from that Business Insider article.
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Quote, it turns out the $90 trillion is the total of infrastructure investment that is
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likely to be spent anyway building up and upgrading cities.
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Gore and Calderon are arguing that it be spent more wisely to produce cities that don't encourage
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people to burn fossil fuels just to get from point A to B. So the $90 trillion isn't something
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that Al Gore is encouraging people to spend.
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It's a reference to the amount that would be spent in infrastructure projects of this
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sort anyway.
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So there you go.
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That's what we were talking about.
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And now we will jump back to where the recording picks up with another full of shit story that
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Alex is telling.
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All the best, folks.
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So, now, minus one for you, I'll take it.
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So now we get to probably my favorite story that Alex is lying about on this show.
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It is the best and Alex loses his shit talking about it.
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He links through to the German newspapers.
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You can't make this up.
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I remember covering this last year.
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Oh, you can.
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German court rules man can urinate while standing up.
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Feminist groups had claimed that men urinating standing up was a privilege over women and
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was an act of male dominance.
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But a court has ruled that they will not pay a 2,855 pound damage for a feminist landowner
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apartment owner that said that her male renters might splatter on the seat.
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But remember last year, Michelle Obama said, don't say the word bossy because we're feminists
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aren't bossy.
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No, what you are is a bunch of hardcore totalitarian scumbags that want to control reality and
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lecture us how to live and operate while telling women that they shouldn't have a man in the
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house, so they're alone and the state's their husband and a woman shouldn't have a gun.
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Well, you know what?
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Everybody's done with you and we know who you are, Phil, and it's declassified your
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CIA funded second hour coming up, we'll be standing up.
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You can go to hell.
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I will be honest.
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I don't agree with anything he said, but I don't know what he said.
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I've never been more pumped than him going out to break declassified your CIA funded.
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We're going to piss.
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Stand it up.
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You can go to hell.
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Who declassified what, who is the CIA funding?
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Do Germans use pounds now?
Unknown Speaker (00:49:13.239)
Oh no, that's because it, uh, it, uh, he, there's a, uh, the article that he's going
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off of had a, uh, a transfer of, uh, what's it called?
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That's it.
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It had it converted.
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We are only doing live shows from now on.
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Absolutely.
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So, um, in the, this story that he's talking about is super fun.
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First of all, he's talking about it as being like some sort of feminist intrusion on men's
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rights to piss standing up and that's really funny because that happens all the time.
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This story is about, um, a dude, um, whose landlord was like, Hey, because you piss standing
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up, you have the urea that you spill has ruined the marble around the toilet and suing you
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because that's not covered by your, uh, you know, the deposit that you put down.
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Right.
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So that's the thing.
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And then that case, Hey, you ruined my tile.
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Fuck off.
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Right.
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But that case ended up being found in favor of the guy who did the pissing.
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But also I've found a bunch of stories about this.
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Every single story refers to the landlord as a man, male feminist.
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It's the same thing.
Unknown Speaker (00:50:20.239)
I'm saying that this woman landlord, what is, what is a male feminist, but a woman?
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Fair.
Unknown Speaker (00:50:26.639)
What?
Unknown Speaker (00:50:27.639)
Yeah.
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That's science.
Unknown Speaker (00:50:29.639)
The rhythm of your speech tricked me into agreeing with you.
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Uh, yeah.
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So the, uh, the, uh, here in this, it's a, the ruling comes after a landlord took his
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former tenant to court for refusing to pay for damage to the marble floor of the bathroom
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in his flat.
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And he said was caused by stray drops from the tenant's habit of relieving himself standing
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up.
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Now I do.
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You know what?
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I'm kind of like stray drops, did it?
Unknown Speaker (00:50:57.039)
It's a little dubious.
Unknown Speaker (00:50:58.039)
You have to pee all over the fucking floor.
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Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:00.960)
Oh yeah.
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You gotta really go for it.
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Yeah.
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It kind of has to.
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No, no, no.
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It is German.
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Don't get me wrong.
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Don't get me wrong.
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I'm not judging.
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I get drunk enough to pee all over the walls.
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Like I'm not worried.
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Undoubtedly.
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Yeah.
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Um, I do think that this is really funny and everybody, if you want to look into it, there
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is like a mo a little bit of a debate in Germany about whether or not it's okay to piss standing
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up at public urinals and public bathrooms because of the mess you make and stuff like
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that.
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How do you piss?
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How do you piss sitting down at a urinal though?
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Oh dude.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:33.559)
That's just, that's just a question I have.
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Don't fucking pretend you don't know how that works.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:37.880)
No, no, no.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:38.880)
What do you mean I don't know how that works?
Unknown Speaker (00:51:40.480)
You say you're drunk enough to piss on the wall.
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You're not drunk enough to squat in a urinal.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:44.239)
No, I'm drunk enough to shit in a urinal.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:46.960)
I'm not drunk enough to pee in one.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:48.880)
The same mechanics work.
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Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:51.519)
All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:52.519)
All right.
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I buy it.
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I buy it.
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So anyway, he's not done with this story.
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I've heard about feminists in public schools years ago.
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I didn't believe this when I first heard about like 20 years ago.
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I'll hear about it on conservative talk radio because they cover this.
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I think the feminists aren't trying to make boys in elementary school and then in high
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school pee sinning because it makes girls feel bad and I went and looked it up and they
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actually do that.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:18.239)
I, what?
Unknown Speaker (00:52:19.239)
I mean, these people want to tell you how to urinate.
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Yeah, so does Tim Allen.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:30.559)
I don't think anyone got that.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:31.760)
Yeah, I know.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:32.760)
It's a nineties bit.
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He wanted to tell you how to pee?
Unknown Speaker (00:52:35.239)
Yeah.
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He did a whole, like he had a whole year's worth of like men are supposed to pee with
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the seat up.
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Like it was ridiculous.
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I know.
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I get it.
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I get it.
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I'm a comedy nerd and we just had Jay make fun of nerds.
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Fuck off.
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You know what I have to say to that back back back back back.
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That's the worst Tim Allen I've ever heard in my entire life.
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I've never claimed to be an impression guy.
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That's Alex's Bernie Sanders writ large.
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What are you doing?
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That's writ large writ large writ large across the wall.
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So Alex is super excited when he wants to talk about people telling you how to piss.
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And that is fair because that's fun.
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That's really fun.
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It is kind of fun.
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But I love this next clip.
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It's probably one of my favorite things I've found question.
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Yeah.
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You pee sitting down sometimes, baby.
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I don't know if you know this, but I've made the point very clear already on this podcast.
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I like to be casual.
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All right.
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All right.
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I got zero problems sitting down to pee.
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Sometimes you have to take a load off.
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I feel like you should be wearing cargo pants while you say that.
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I feel like that's important.
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So, hey, I got to keep a place for my scissors along my leg.
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I don't know why scissors.
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Scissors?
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What are you doing with scissors in your leg?
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I was very close to saying bolt cutters.
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I decided to scale it down to scissor and I don't know why I came up with either.
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Who's the fucking centrist now?
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You're walking around with bolt cutters.
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God damn.
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Sounds like it's you.
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Oh, so this next clip is one of my favorite things.
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It's because if you really listen to this and you know that Alex knows that this is
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his last show on KLBJ in Austin, that you could just tell that's feeding into him and
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his heart is not into this at all.
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This is a sad clip?
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Towards the end, he's just sort of phoning this baby.
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Okay.
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We've got a bunch of epic videos and things to play.
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We'll get to all of them when we come back after this quick break.
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This is fucking droopy dog shit right here.
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This is...
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I'm not on radio anymore.
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Reality is so much more incredible than what Madison Avenue and Wall Street and Hollywood
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and the Times Square mentality could even imagine.
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The world is so much bigger than just dominating fellow humans and treating them like chattel,
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but bricks to build a wall of enslavement, humanity are burning souls, ready to be empowered.
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Go to break, go to break, get him to break, get him to break, go to break, go to break.
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Given the universe and that's what these tyrants seek to shutter and they will fail and humanity
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will rise.
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Too late?
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No.
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Okay.
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I don't know.
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I just...
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I reject the premise.
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I think that's my new catch phrase.
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I'm actually confused.
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What is the premise of this?
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Alex is tired.
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All right.
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I'm sick of the bullshit.
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That's not a bad premise.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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Yeah.
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So at this point, what he decides to do is like, I got to fill about another 40 minutes
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of radio.
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But I'm bummed.
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So I'm just going to take some calls.
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Ooh, that's not a good idea.
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While he's bummed?
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Fun trivia.
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This is like public therapy then.
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Fun trivia.
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It's two callers named Gerald.
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That's meaningless trivia.
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We're not going to listen to either of them.
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No, no, no, no.
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You know what that is?
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That is just more proof that his audience is white.
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Oh yeah.
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That's the most proof.
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And so is this clip.
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Well, I mean, let's just face it.
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A lot of cultures in Asia contributed to science and everybody contributed.
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But my God, I mean, the West made the civilization and what it is today.
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And by every, every other culture adopted it because it was the most efficient and dominant.
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And absolutely it's a threat.
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It's Renaissance.
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So it's under attack.
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The elite want the fruits of the Renaissance, but while denying us all, and by the way,
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this is in major news, hating whitey.
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That's the name of the course.
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Arizona has a course on how whites are bad.
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It's also in black sheep.
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Yeah.
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We can talk about that a little bit more here in a bit.
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That it's a, it's a, it's a class that this Arizona
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professor was teaching about the problem of whiteness.
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And as we've discussed, it's not about white people being bad.
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It's about the concept and historical implications of the idea of whiteness and exclusionary
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about people saying things like, uh, other people have contributed a society or whatever,
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but the West nailed it.
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So now just for fun, I have a list of the problem of being white.
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I have a list of things that Chinese, just the Chinese have, uh, attributed and given
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to culture paper, dogs, moving type, printing gunpowder concept of right.
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The compass, alcohol, the mechanical clock, T silk, the umbrella, iron smelting, porcelain,
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bronze kites, seed drills, toothbrushes, money, coffins, bells, fired bricks, noodles, artillery,
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cannons, ephedrine, ephedrine.
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That might not be right.
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I might've mistyped that I'm going to stand by it anyway.
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Yeah.
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Dry docs, handguns, incense, irrigation, parachutes, pinhole cameras, sunglasses, toilet paper,
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pinhole cameras.
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That's kind of perverted wells.
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They made wells.
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We didn't have wells before crazy.
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Where'd you put the water?
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Anyway, I deem that last clip, uh, fairly racist.
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Yeah.
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I'm going to go with that.
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I'm going to go with the top five.
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I feel like whatever you're like, all of these cultures that literally invented all the stuff
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we built off of, they contributed, but we're the fucking best because just because Arabia
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came up with the number zero, thus changing the entire scope of humanity from then on
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forth doesn't mean we shouldn't keep them out.
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Fair enough.
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So, um, we all love a big round of applause.
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If you love info wars supplements, bone broth, if you listen to our show, then you know that
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one of the things that Alex Jones is very wishy washy about, uh, to an extensive degree
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is whether or not super male vitality is a boner pill.
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He pretends it's not when he wants to be classy, but then he'll often do a little bit of a
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wink.
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Hey, uh, Hey, Rob, uh, you, uh, you take super male vitality, right?
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Uh, yeah.
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And, uh, my wife gets fucked a lot now.
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My wife done told me to stop.
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So I think we can put that debate to bed once and for all with this completely absurd clip.
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We only promote the very best hardcore over the top stuff.
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And yeah, super male vitality is all about energy stamina, but it's all about, I don't
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know if people know what that means, but let's just say that, uh, let's just say it's dramatic.
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It is dramatic.
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It's the real deal.
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Stay with us.
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Okay.
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I thought I originally thought he said traumatic and I was like, that makes perfect sense.
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Nailed it.
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Traumatic is right.
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I have a couple of really important thoughts.
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The first is that's, that's one of them that's important, but the more important part of
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that is who doesn't get what boy is in reference to the nine year olds who listen to a show.
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I God damn it.
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If there are any, that's a tragic existence of the other really important piece of this,
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uh, that I do not understand in any way is I have never had an erection that I've been
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like, thank God, this is dramatic.
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I've never been like my erection lacks drama.
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So we have one last clip to listen to here, whether it is nobler in the Dick or the mind
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to suffer the slings and pussies of outrageous misfortune to sleep, to fuck no more for everyone
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listening at home, a cascade of roses just hit the stage.
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So we've got one more clip and this is a, this is fun.
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Um, this is literally the last things that Alex Jones ever said on KLBJ global governments
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here.
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It's taken over.
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Don't ever take for granted hearing this radio show in your area real quick.
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I do need to stress that at no point in this episode does he say this is my last episode.
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So he's, he's preparing the audience.
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He's giving a farewell episode without ever being like, well, we're never going to be
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here again.
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It's 1000% okay.
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It's a support finale.
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Yes.
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Okay.
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Those local am and FM affiliates spread the word about our free podcasts and audio feeds
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and info wars.com.
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We're going upstream fast, but we're swimming upstream.
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We need your prayers and support and thank you all for your support, but don't take free
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open media for granted.
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You never know when it might not be there.
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The next time you tuned in, that's the same way.
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You gotta make hay while the sun shines and there's a battle going on worldwide for what
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will control the future destiny of the planet.
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So I went to info wars.com and I found Alex Jones's bio.
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I'd like to read you from it.
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I went to the website yesterday.
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Alex's mainstays is nationally syndicated talk news show produced from his studio in
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Austin and broadcast on the Genesis communications network based in Minnesota.
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The Alex Jones show airs on over 160 am FM and shortwave stations across the United States
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Monday through Friday from 11 to 2 pm central standard time.
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There must be a lot of shortwave stations then.
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Oh, tons of them, yeah.
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As well, and a lot of rivers, a lot of rivers.
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Maker breaker one conspiracy.
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As well, Alex's show is the largest draw for the talk genre on shoutcast and the internet.
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Alex does a syndicated and nationally broadcast Sunday show on MS communications, KLBJ 590
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am in Austin, Texas.
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It's still in his bio.
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Wow.
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Three years.
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What a bummer.
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I went confirmed, by the way.
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God, he was so sad at the end of that.
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I went and confirmed and checked out KLBJ's schedule and.
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When is he on today?
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He's not.
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But.
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Is he not on today?
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But interestingly.
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How about Sunday?
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Interestingly, that retirement show is still on.
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That retirement show is still getting play.
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Also really fun, I found this while looking around trying to figure out sort of the bottom
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line about this.
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And it turns out that the next week, the people at KLBJ were so kind and generous to quote
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Natalie merchant, uh, that they allowed, wait, were they, were they kind and generous to
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quote Natalie merchant or were they quoting Natalie merchant to be kind of generous?
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They quoted Natalie merchant needs us to quote her right now.
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This release is super weird.
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They just say Alex Jones must be one of God's own creation.
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I can't remember the rest of the lyrics.
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I gotta be honest.
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Yeah.
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You're fired.
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So, um, they allowed him to broadcast a message during the time slot that he was on.
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Uh, the week Larry Nichols, what he said was, Hey folks, Alex Jones here with an important
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announcement for all the great listeners of my show here on news radio, K 90 at KLBJ.
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The decision has been made to move the local programming on Saturdays and Sundays.
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And even though my show originates out of Austin, it's national news.
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Good spin.
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So for the time being, it will no longer be heard on Sunday evenings.
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My syndicated broadcast to over a hundred affiliates will continue.
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I really appreciate my relationship with news radio nine five 90 KLBJ.
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And the good news is that the info war continues.
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That's not good news syndicated to over a hundred stations and via the web that gives
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us websites.
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He had to in like five sentences, he had to mention a hundred stations multiple times.
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This is like when Phil Hartman died all over again, Dan.
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So also I found, I found an article that was posted on the internet by a guy named CJ Morgan,
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who was the guy who hosts the weekday 7 PM to nine 7 PM to midnight shift to KLBJ.
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He went so far as to post on their website in 2016 the following headline, quote, Alex
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Jones is a fraud, dangerous, and I'm ashamed we ever had him on this station from that
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article.
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Quote, I met him in person, in person at the station once ran a broadcast in which we interviewed
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him during South by Southwest and I would listen to the freedom nugget segments on Charlie
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Hodges show.
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Wait, wait, wait.
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I don't care.
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I don't know what any of that means.
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I don't care.
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There's a freedom nugget, freedom nugget?
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I don't.
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Freedom nugget.
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It might be Nugent misspelled.
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Freedom Nugent segment?
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That seems like a segment he would do.
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Nugent is trapped in the wilderness.
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That's a good show.
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Yeah.
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That actually is a good show.
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I don't want to read the rest of this quote.
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I would watch this shit.
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Let's fucking work out the beast.
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Discovery, Discovery channel.
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Come on.
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Naked Nugent and Afraid.
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Done.
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Done.
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Take it to series.
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I don't like the first word.
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I really don't.
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I do like the idea of Nugent and Afraid.
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Like what would make him afraid?
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Oh, not white people.
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Oh, shit.
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So, back to this quote from C.J. Morgan.
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He says, quote, he's a nice guy.
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Eventually it became too much.
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His blatant disregard for any rational truth, the way he capitalized on tragedy, Sandy Hook
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crisis actors, to profit off his listeners, selling fucking supplements, how he yells
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and bullies any opposition, our encounters with his truly mentally ill followers stopping
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by the station with their manifestos, needing his help.
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In parentheses, he hates his fans, by the way.
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It's too much, end quote.
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So I don't know how to wrap this up, but.
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I think he actually just summarized everything we've done our show about for a year and a
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half.
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I will say that, yeah, his quote passes my smell test, that seems very, very in line
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with the vibe of this cat that I've gotten over studying him for a year and a half.
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Within a paragraph, he summarized everything we've ever tried to do.
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I think that's what that is.
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I will say that I wish, you know, if we had do-overs, I wish I would have spent less time
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beating a dick about how low his ratings were and talked more about that German pee shit.
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I'm interested in that German pee shit.
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I would recommend everyone look into it.
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There's some very serious- I really wish I hadn't said that on tape.
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I'm interested in that German pee shit.
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Is that what I want?
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Now you said it twice.
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I don't want that out there.
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Everyone out there, if you're listening- It's not that I'm not.
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Make a techno remix of Jordan saying, I'm interested in that German pee shit.
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I'll do like four or five takes if you need one.
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So I mean, this is it.
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You know?
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This is it?
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Yeah.
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That's the end of Alex Jones' broadcasting on KLBJ and that's the end of our clips.
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All right.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:12.920)
I mean, this is still a podcast, right?
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This has been really fun.
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So do we do the thing where we tell people to follow us on Twitter?
Unknown Speaker (01:08:19.079)
I suppose we're supposed to.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:20.479)
Okay.
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We're on Twitter at knowledge underscore fight.
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Facebook.
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Facebook.
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We also have a website, knowledgefight.com.
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Everything is great.
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Indeed.
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Whose turn is it?
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I think it's yours.
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Oh, yeah.
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Do you go home and tell your mother you're beautiful?
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That's a weird thing to say.
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I love it.
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Close enough.
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I really love it.
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I kind of wish that was what we called it.
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If you Google that, if you Google that on Facebook, you'll probably find our group.
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Yeah.
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That's true.
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I don't know.
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Let's let someone in the audience choose.
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Oh shit.
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That's right.
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Now let's do this civilly.
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I don't know how to do that.
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I think actually, I don't think anybody, I don't think anybody in our audience is not
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civil.
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Who feels like somebody needs to go fuck themselves real hard.
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All right.
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Hold on.
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Before you answer, a big round of applause for the comics you saw earlier tonight.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Adam Serwa, J.Y.
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Cotton.
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Give it up for them.
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For everyone at the bar who's been so great in beer land.
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Everybody stick around.
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We have an amazing burlesque show coming up for you very shortly.
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Free empty round of applause for them and for yourselves.
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Thank you so much for coming out.
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Now someone yell out a person that Jordan will tell to go fuck themselves.
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I think there's only one answer.
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We nailed it right there.
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Wait, is this person possibly a cross-dressing peeping Tom?
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The zodiac killer, the son of the man who murdered JFK, a peeping Tom.
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Ladies and gentlemen, go fuck yourself, Ted Cruz.
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Andy in Kansas.
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You're on the air.
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Thanks for holding.
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Hello Alex.
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I'm a first time caller.
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I'm a huge fan.
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I love your work.
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I love you.
