Transcript/851: Erica Lafferty Returns
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N-N-N-N-N-N-N-Knowledge Fight
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Dan and Jordan, I am sweating.
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Knowledgefight.com, it's time to pray.
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I have great respect for Knowledgefight.
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Knowledgefight.
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I'm sick of them posing as if they're the good guys saying we are the bad guys.
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Knowledgefight.
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Dan and Jordan, Knowledgefight.
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Riddle her, riddle her, riddle her.
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Need, need money.
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Riddle her, riddle her, riddle her.
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Andy in Kansas, Andy in Kansas.
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Stop it.
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Andy in Kansas, Andy in Kansas.
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It's time to pray.
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Andy in Kansas, you're on the air.
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Thanks for holding.
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Hello Alex, I'm a first time caller.
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I'm a huge fan.
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I love your work.
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Knowledgefight.com.
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I love you.
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Hey everybody, welcome back to the show.
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I am here with Jordan and we're very excited to be joined today by a special guest who
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is a raptor princess has taken on that moniker and run with it or galloped with it.
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What would, what do raptors do, Jordan?
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How do they?
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How do they ambulate?
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Uh, raptors, raptor, dinosaurs and birds.
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So what do birds do?
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Do they hop?
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Birds do not hop.
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What do birds hop?
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What do you mean?
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How do chickens walk around?
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They like eat, here's what they do.
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They eagle.
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All right.
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That's what raptors, raptor princesses, they just eagle.
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You know, that's what they do.
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Counterpoint.
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Sure.
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Penguins waddle.
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What about that?
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They're birds, right?
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Penguins are not, but I don't think they're birds.
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I think that's the thing.
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I think they're fish.
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Fish birds.
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I think they're fish birds.
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Anyway, I'm excited to see what our guest has to say about what it's called when birds
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walk around.
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Erica Lafferty, thank you for joining us again.
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Google says that penguins are birds.
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Take that Jordan.
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I literally just googled it.
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To make sure they weren't fish?
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Yes, I was like, oh my God, you don't know this and I should know this.
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I like really love penguins.
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I feel like they would have made a bigger deal out of them being fish in March of the
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penguins if they were fish, seeing as they walk around on ice and they're out of the
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water.
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What a bunch of weird fish.
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Walking around.
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That would have been a fun, that would have been fun.
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They also give birth, right?
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They have live birth.
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It's not like eggs.
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Right?
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Penguins?
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No.
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What do they do?
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I fear Google search history right now.
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You're going to get some penguin anime, manga.
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It is kind of our thing to have on Erica Lafferty and be like, let's really Google penguins
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together.
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That's our show.
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You know what?
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There's no one I would rather do it with.
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I'm just saying.
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We broke through the sort of unfamiliarity the first time we talked and now we can just
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sort of, you know, mess around and talk about penguins and what they do when all three of
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us have zero ideas.
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I was going to say.
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Are they birds?
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Are they fish?
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Do they give birth?
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Are there just eggs?
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Like, do we know?
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I feel like I was the only person of the three of us who was totally confident they weren't
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fish.
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Oh no, I knew they weren't fish.
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I'm proud of myself.
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I'm proud of myself.
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I knew they were not fish.
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In another life, I was a successful comedian.
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When somebody says something with enough confidence and like sounding serious, oftentimes people
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just believe it.
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So that's what I think happened with you.
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You knew it wasn't a fish, but Jordan was just so like, matter of fact about it.
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It's terrible.
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It's a skill.
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I have to say very confidently not true things and it drives my wife insane.
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It drives her insane because it questions, you know, it's like, it's funny gaslighting
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to me.
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Is that not just the talent of a husband though?
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Ooh.
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No, I mean, I hope not.
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Is that what they do?
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Oh God.
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I mean, Steve does.
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I think it exists outside of marriages too.
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Because I once told a friend of mine that the butthole is the only part of the human
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body that doesn't grow as you age.
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And he repeated it to multiple people, including on a podcast that he was recording.
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He did not realize I was not being serious from that Google search.
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I will just settle that one for you.
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So Erica, how are you?
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How are things?
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I mean, I'm good.
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I'm alive, which is great.
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Um, I had made a comment the last time we spoke like, Oh, if I live to see my 38th birthday,
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which is in six days, friends, I know.
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So I think, um, the odds are in my favor.
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Uh, I feel like I got at least another six days in me.
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That's great.
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That's the kind of attitude we like to hear.
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I've got at least about a week in me and then tank for sure.
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Yeah.
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Like I, I will not do die in six days.
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Well, I mean, you know, the odds may not be in your favor and you might die in the hunger
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games in the next six days.
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So that is true.
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That is available on the future.
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Yeah.
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All right.
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Doesn't like, can you just volunteer as tribute and no matter what, I mean, I volunteered
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as tribute for so many things, I was going to say that was not your choice.
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A lot of it, a lot of it, um, so yeah, you, uh, I've seen some updates.
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We haven't really spoken much since, uh, we last, uh, uh, recorded a conversation, but
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I've seen some updates on the GoFundMe, uh, that you have of, uh, about the con about
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your condition and the, uh, the cancer treatments.
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Um, and, uh, seems like things are fairly, you know, positive most of the time.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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I feel like I've had pretty consistent, not so horrible news.
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Um, I was a little, little disappointed after my first scan post radioactive iodine treatment.
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Um, pretty much all that did was make me go crazy, locked in a room by myself with no
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humans and no dogs.
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Um, and then as soon as it was like out of my body, the tumor just started growing at
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this crazy rapid pace and yeah, the doctors were like, they gave it the hulk treatment.
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Yeah.
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They were like, all right, let's change course.
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And then like it got so big and so close to my frontal lobe, it's no longer considered
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an orbital tumor and it's classified as a brain tumor and I'm like less than two millimeters
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away from it connecting to my frontal lobe, which is fucking terrifying.
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Um, it's spread to two additional lymph nodes since I've talked to you guys.
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I take back what I said about mostly good news.
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Yeah, I was going to say, but like, but here's, here's the great thing, right?
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So I'm on two different forms of daily chemo.
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Um, one of them is the one, of course it's not covered by insurance that I'm taking like
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two times the normal dose for.
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Um, so that's a fun 40 to $45,000 a month.
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Um, yeah.
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Uh, the other one, however, is covered by insurance.
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That's only $1,500 a month.
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And I'm also on a neuro therapy, which is only $1,000 a month.
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Um, the great news about this like combo that we have going is that, um, the, the tumor
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in my, I guess, forehead at this point, um, has shrunk just under a half an inch.
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Um, since I started treatment in April, which is awesome.
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It seems like that's a considerable size for something inside your head.
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You know, like a half an inch kind of territory, it's like, nah, that's not that big when you're
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talking about like, I don't know, if you're running a large thing, exactly the inside
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your head.
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My current size of like the actual tumor is about a, an inch and a half in diameter.
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So I've seen a quarter shrinkage.
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Um, but since I've been on this like cocktail of medication, it's shrinking much more rapidly
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than it was at the beginning.
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Um, so that's positive.
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Yeah.
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And then the, even though I am up to four lymph nodes versus the initial, uh, well one,
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I guess I think it was two when I had spoken to you guys, um, those masses are getting
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much smaller, um, like to the extent that like one popped up, it was fairly big.
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I was scheduled to go for a biopsy, then my brother died.
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So I had to like cancel it cause it was like the day that my brother died.
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And I went for a scan that was prescheduled and they were like, oh, it's actually gotten
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so small that like we're not even going to biopsy it.
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And I'm like, I'm going to take that as good news, man.
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Yeah.
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That's either great news or a terrible doctor.
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One of the two, I want a half day.
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I'm not doing this.
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Great.
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I don't feel like doing this biopsy today.
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You'll be fine kid.
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Get out of here.
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He's like at least it's not another brain tumor.
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Yeah.
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It sounds like it's pretty like decent stuff for, in terms of manageability, you know,
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outside of expense type issues in terms of like the reality of what you're dealing with
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health wise, it's, it sucks to say it could be way worse, but that's, I mean, I'm also
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like incredibly fortunate that both of my key forms of chemotherapy are in pill form.
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So I have, let me switch you over, see my little, I have a Raptor on my little mini
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fridge and my chemo pills are in there.
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I don't have to have a port.
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I get to do all of my treatment from home.
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My immunotherapy therapy injections get mailed to my house.
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I do the injections myself.
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So I really only have to go to the doctor for my blood work scans and I haven't even
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had to go out and go back for a biopsy in several months.
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So I'm very, very poor and I have hair.
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Yeah.
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That's great.
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I noticed that.
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That's great.
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I'm not super observant, but I did notice hair.
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So actually I have, I have, I have, I had a thought.
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So with these expensive chemo things, have you tried GoodRx?
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I'm sure, I'm sure they don't have chemo on there, but I have some antidepressants and
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they were like $400.
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I went on there and they were 11.
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There was just a coupon that took it from 400 to 11.
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It's ridiculous.
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GoodRx takes me from $60,000 to $65,000 down to $40,000 to $45,000.
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It's ridiculous.
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Thanks.
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Erica, I have always enjoyed talking to you, but it's been a while and I've forgotten how
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much screaming I have to suppress.
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Like when we talk, like, I mean, it's, it's nice.
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It's it's, I mean, it's almost unfortunate, you know, cause normally Dan and I record
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full disclosure.
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Normally we record in the same room together and today we're in separate rooms and I feel
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fine screaming at the top of my lungs in his place, but these are my neighbors now.
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You know, I, I can't, I can't offend them with my fury.
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I'm sure your wife's at work and the dogs aren't going to tell you to be quiet.
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They're not going to stop me.
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But I do have some very kind neighbors and yeah, it'd be unfortunate.
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That is true.
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You hate your neighbor?
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I just moved in.
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Okay, sorry.
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The ones that I hate.
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They're listening.
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Oh, it's the old neighbors that you hated.
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The old neighbors.
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Gone.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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Gone.
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My bad.
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My bad.
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New ones are great.
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But yeah, Jordan, I mean, you know, it's a lot of this stuff does make a person want
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to scream.
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How could you not?
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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It's difficult along with any number of other things going on.
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I mean, how, how exactly are your, like, Erica, how is your interactions in the daily life
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going?
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Like, I, I have, I have such a hard time getting inside of your, your life experience, so I'd
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like to know exactly how you live now.
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Okay.
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So today I woke up and I'm just like, Oh, I feel really run down.
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Right.
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And like, that sucks.
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And I woke up, I started working at six.
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I worked six to two 30, um, got the kids on the bus, got one off the bus.
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Oh, you still have to work?
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Sorry.
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Sorry.
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Apologies.
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I'm getting off the bus in about 10 minutes.
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And like, for the most part, my days are like today, but Saturday I needed help standing
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up out of bed and was using a walker around my house.
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Um, there are days that I wake up and the tumors shifted back just a little bit and
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I have a super hard time with mobility.
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Um, I have a really difficult time with word recall frequently, even on like the better
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days.
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I'm like, Oh, what's the word?
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What's the word?
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And it's like, Oh, well that's a fucking computer, like just random things that like I just
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is a penguin, a fish.
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All right.
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I'm not, I, I feel like it would be really unfair to the cancer community to blame that
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on the cancer and not my sheer stupidity.
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This is, this is taking responsibility in the face of not absolutely.
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You don't need to, you don't need it.
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Anybody else would let you let you have cancer.
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I'm just dumb.
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This is the mark of nobility.
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Speaking of the market of nobility, instead of a walker, may I recommend a cane?
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Cause then you can have like all kinds of affectations with it and you could hide a
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sword.
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You need a sword.
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You need a sword cane.
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You do.
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And then once you're a raptor handle, I mean, come on and if you're feeling better, you
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can twirl it around and like it can be just like, I could be fire breathing.
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It could be fire breathing.
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It could be a lighter.
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Yeah.
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You could flick it.
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Erika, I need you to understand we are attempting to slowly turn you into a super villain.
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That is what's going to happen now that we've spoken this into the universe.
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Some listener is going to make this lizard skin jacket to go along with this.
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Have you considered an underground compound like maybe dug out of a cave?
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So actually I used to live about a mile from my sister and I don't even remember why, if
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it was like a snow thing or the fact that we're just both agoraphobes or if we were
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planning for the apocalypse or something.
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But we had at one point talked about digging an underground tunnel to get from her house
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to mine.
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Maybe it was a combination of all of those things.
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Anyway, I regret not doing that.
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Yeah, I regret not doing that.
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I think you probably made the right call.
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The city gets mad when you try and dig underground tunnels.
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I mean, what would that call before you dig ticket look like, right?
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It would be prohibitive.
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They would really, really.
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I mean, isn't the whole idea of digging though that you kind of think you're going to get
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away with it?
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You're underground.
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Where are they looking?
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You struck oil.
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Now granted, it was in a pipe that was going somewhere.
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No, because I'm a meteor.
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I could hit a fucking septic leech field.
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That's what I would do.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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It's easy to mistake that for oil though, I would assume.
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Ew.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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Sorry.
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I thought chemo makes me puke.
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Way to go, Dan.
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Way to go.
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Oh, well.
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I've ruined the vibe.
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So yeah, but continue.
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Are you quarantined still?
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Are you still being-
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No.
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No.
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I mean, it was really just that first week and a half, but I'm not doing the radioactive
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iodine anymore.
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I'm actually not doing radiation at all, which I guess is good.
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I mean, I like the not being locked in a room part, although I do kind of want to lock myself
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in a room sometimes.
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You don't need iodine to do it.
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You can make a choice.
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I'm just going to buy a deadbolt.
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Yeah.
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Here, I'll give you a I'm dumb moment.
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I didn't know that there was non-radioactive chemotherapy.
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Because I've not had a lot of exposure to it, I didn't know.
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I just assumed.
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He hasn't had a lot of exposure to radiation.
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So with the radioactive iodine treatment, basically I took three pills, and anything
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I touched would become radioactive.
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With traditional targeted radiation, it's not great to be around babies or immunocompromised
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people, but it's not as much of a risk, but you don't have to be isolated after it.
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My chemo pills are also radioactive, but it's not spewing from my pores, so I have this
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separate tiny little refrigerator with my little Raptor on it that's specifically for
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my meds because I don't want to put it in my normal fridge with the vegetables that
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the kids eat.
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So it's smaller precautions, but not super dangerous to the people around me.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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Sounds better.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Radiation is always interesting to me because I feel like it has almost the reverse cultural
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impact of quicksand or something.
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In the culture, when I was growing up, quicksand, the most terrifying thing, right?
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I swear to God, I was just talking to my husband about this.
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Radiation turns you into a superhero, right?
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These two things happen.
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In real life, quicksand, not really that much of an issue.
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Huge problem.
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Real issue.
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Well, quicksand is not a non-issue.
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It's just, you're not going to run into it.
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Why did they make us so fucking scared of it?
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Because it's kind of cool as an idea.
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I mean, as a way to die, it's not bad.
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No one warned me about the random sinkholes.
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That's true.
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There's nothing glamorous or exotic about a sinkhole.
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That can happen just in your backyard or somewhere where it's like, quicksand, it's part of an
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adventurer's story.
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Indiana Jones finds quicksand.
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There's artificial time limits involved.
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It's like the slowly descending spikes.
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It's that kind of thing.
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I just remember always having this fucking deathly fear of quicksand and like, I've never
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encountered it.
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I'm almost 38, man.
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Where's the quicksand?
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I have often been concerned as to whether or not quicksand is a fish.
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That's always been an issue for me.
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It's full of fish.
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They've learned to breathe in the quicksand.
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It's terrifying.
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I don't want to ruin the vibe again, but I can't not mention this.
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There is a very large quicksand fetishist community.
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I know this because a lady that I met at a party was regaling me with her exploration
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of it.
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There's a bunch of people who have quicksand videos.
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What kind of fucking parties do you go to?
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This was years ago, but not good ones.
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That's for sure.
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I make no bones about it.
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I would go where people would allow me to be.
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And it wasn't high society, I'll say that.
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But yeah, there's the tension of it, I guess.
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You're slowly sinking.
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I don't know.
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Anyway, I ruined the vibe again.
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I'm like pondering.
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It wouldn't be the worst way to die.
Unknown Speaker (00:21:20.559)
Wait, is that the fetish?
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Or are we...
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See this is the concern I have about the fetish community that you've just described.
Unknown Speaker (00:21:28.839)
You've just said quicksand fetish, which could mean so many fucking different things.
Unknown Speaker (00:21:35.359)
I don't think it involves people dying in quicksand.
Unknown Speaker (00:21:39.599)
I think it's the struggle of it.
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Is it dipping stuff into your quicksand?
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Is that what's going on?
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Is it like a jacuzzi kind of scenario?
Unknown Speaker (00:21:49.039)
No, it's my understanding that it's the people being in quicksand and trying to get out,
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I think.
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Right.
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Oh, it's like the people who have the eating fetish, where they're like, oh, I don't want
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to be eaten.
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That kind of thing.
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You're talking vore?
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Yeah.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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I thought people were just fucking quicksand.
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Once again, I feel like we all don't know enough about this subject to really get to
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the bottom of it, and we should not Google it.
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Oh my God.
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My search history is going to be like, are penguins burn?
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Do buttholes grow?
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Can you fuck quicksand?
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Do buttholes grow is almost a poetic Judy Blume novel.
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And it's less can you fuck quicksand and should you.
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Yeah.
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Right.
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Right.
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Who does?
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I mean, when I was growing up, we had American pie and that could easily be quicksand in
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a heartbeat.
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You just move the pie tin really.
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So I feel like we're still off track of your day.
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I feel like we're still on that.
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Yeah.
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So, well, I mean, yeah.
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So there's like the days like today where I'm kind of feeling like a normal human and
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can get through a full day of work and do the kids, go to the soccer practice and all
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of the things.
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And then there are the days that I'm just completely bedridden, barely know my own fucking
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name or if I know, no, I just don't know it.
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I'm like, I don't know, it's whatever.
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And just there's nothing, there's no function, there's no words.
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But I've been really, really, really lucky for the most part.
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I probably have only taken a combined week off of work that was specifically like sickness
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related.
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I did get an accommodation to my schedule.
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So instead of like the nine to six, I'm working a six to 2.30 because by three o'clock, 3.30,
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I'm dragging ass.
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And I'm just, I'm fucking tired.
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And sleep has been a really big problem.
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I just like can't get comfortable, I'm achy, I'm waking up to projectile vomit all over
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the place.
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I get like random, like burns.
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So I have like in between like these two fingers, there's like just like a little scar.
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And I have what my husband has started calling my tomato toes because my toes are always
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just bright red.
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And I have like, I mean, at this point, it almost looks like like scar burns on like
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the like knuckles of my toes.
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Weird.
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Yeah, super weird.
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But apparently it's like, I asked my oncologist, and he's like, oh yeah, like, that's a cancer
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toe.
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I'm like, what the fuck is a cancer toe?
Unknown Speaker (00:24:56.119)
Your cancer toe.
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Well, I was hoping when you said you have random burns, it was just that you sporadically
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insulted people.
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Well, I mean, I feel like that's just a personality trait of mine.
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Sure.
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With the burns like on your toes, is it like, what is, do you know how there's like a rub
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kind of burn?
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And then there's like a heat kind of burn?
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So think like the like the twisty burn, right?
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Like on the arms, like that was the thing back in the day.
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And it looks like that, but then it like hurts.
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And then there's like one brand of an oncology cream, just the one brand that makes it not
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feel like my toes are on fire.
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And it will last for like three days that I need like the constant oncology cream.
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And then it just turns into like scarring until it comes back again in a week.
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And it's just on my, I don't know, is it called a pointer toe?
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Like what are toes called?
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Yeah, it's a pointer toe.
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It is now.
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We have all had human bodies for like so long and yet it still is a fun pastime to just
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be like, what happens to this shit?
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What is going on?
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I'm going to give you, I'm going to fly the middle toe at you.
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Right, right.
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So it's like on my big toe and my pointer toe knuckles and like where the toe meets
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the foot.
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And it's like on that those like four creases that I get like my tomato toe and it turns
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and then like a little spot on my right foot.
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And then also like in between my pointer and ring finger on my right hand happens like
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here and then I get like splotches on the top of my hand and it's only on my right hand
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and my right foot.
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Sounds fun.
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That makes perfect sense to me.
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Yeah, I mean, it definitely tracks.
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So that's fun.
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But you got right hand, right foot burn disease reaction because I'm a fucked up left handed
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person.
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That could be punishment.
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It's good to know that there are like all these like weird side things that you don't
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know about unless you're experiencing this or someone you know is experiencing it.
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All the fun little added sort of kicks in the pants.
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Yeah.
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Water.
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Water is not the same.
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I can only drink.
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Water is not the same.
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I don't know just like spring water that's like flowing spring that like I'll go there
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and there's like a line of like four cars to like fill jugs from this spring by my house.
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Please let it be sparkling now for you.
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Like just I'm hoping that it's like you drink it tastes like I've never eaten a worm but
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I feel like it's what a worm would taste like.
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I can't drink pollen springs, I can't drink Fiji, I can't drink boff, I can't drink Dasani
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but the Aldi brand water only if it comes from the gallon jug tastes normal.
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We're doing a lot of plugs for Aldi lately.
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I've just started talking about my love of Aldi.
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We've seen a lot of Aldi positivity lately.
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It's a surprise.
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What's a water considering the amount of all the hate that I recall from 10, 15 years ago
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it's a remarkable turnaround.
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It's my jam, it's my jam, it's the only water I can drink.
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Everything else just tastes either too minerally or like worms or like dirt.
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I don't know.
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Was that one of the side effects on the pill bottles is like oh from now on only Aldi water
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will taste normal, every other water will taste like weird old stuff.
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I'm going to quadruple check but I feel like it's not there and then if it is not I will
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write to the manufacturer.
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Here's where things get messy.
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So crazy.
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Because that's the thing I should be mad at them for.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:07.599)
You are like 90% water and almost everything that you eat or other drinks are mostly water.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:15.279)
Does it affect other things too or is it just water?
Unknown Speaker (00:29:19.000)
No it's not just water.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:20.839)
I've always not been a fan of soda.
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I would drink the occasional ginger ale.
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Now from the time I wake up at 5.30 in the morning until the time I go to bed, Diet Coke.
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Like watered down non like.
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Water down.
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Water down.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:39.839)
Like probably with Aldi water.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:41.839)
Yes the ice made with the Aldi water melted down in the Diet Coke and I like leave it
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out so it's like not super carbonated and that I can drink but everything else is just
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like metallicy or it's weird.
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Coffee hot coffee tastes like pumpkins.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:00.720)
Doesn't that speak to the arbitrary nature of the brain right?
Unknown Speaker (00:30:04.480)
Like if you have a brain tumor it's putting pressure on different spots than what is normal
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and so it's just like poking.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:15.500)
It's bananas how it works.
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Let's all turn up in our own heads and cook things until, yeah see?
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I bet Aldi is working on a tumor specifically for that water.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:28.880)
Have you considered that this is Aldi's fault?
Unknown Speaker (00:30:32.240)
Those motherfuckers.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:33.240)
Right?
Unknown Speaker (00:30:34.240)
They put this in my brain.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:35.240)
This is what they were actually working on at the Wuhan lab.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:37.240)
This is from eating the Aldi food.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:40.240)
No, I love Aldi food.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:43.160)
I do.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:44.160)
I love to eat this.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:46.039)
I have this sauce that I get at Aldi, the Rojo sauce, still sitting right next to my
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computer because I use it all the time.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:52.839)
I love it man.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:53.839)
I just love it.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:54.839)
Love me some Aldi.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:56.839)
We are not sponsored.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:58.319)
What is happening right now?
Unknown Speaker (00:31:03.400)
Hello.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:06.599)
Okay Brooklyn.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:07.599)
Oh, I have a kid getting home.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:09.720)
That's the situation here.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:11.200)
I see.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:12.200)
So could you give us a little bit of an update on where you are with the case and all of
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that information?
Unknown Speaker (00:31:22.599)
Or just more dogs?
Unknown Speaker (00:31:24.400)
More dogs are fine.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:25.400)
Oh my god, they're insane.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:27.400)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:28.400)
So it is to the point, I think the last time we talked, you were like, Oh, what's going
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on with the bankruptcy?
Unknown Speaker (00:31:32.519)
And how are the families kept up to date?
Unknown Speaker (00:31:33.519)
And I was like, Oh, if there's something big, they'll be like, Oh, families, can you meet
Unknown Speaker (00:31:37.440)
at this time?
Unknown Speaker (00:31:38.440)
We have a standing weekly meeting at this point.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:42.519)
Oh, wow.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:44.519)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:45.519)
Frequently, it's pulled down because Jones pulls some shit and then poor Eleanor and
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the rest of the team are dragged into all of this other bullshit.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:56.680)
I've only been able to join a couple of times because again, work, kids, brain tumor, my
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god, crazy dogs.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:05.359)
But yeah, I don't know.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:09.079)
The updates are there and my legal team is fucking phenomenal.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:13.279)
I cannot say that enough.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:14.480)
I'm going to, I'm going to be, oh my god, with dogs, I can't.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:20.759)
The last thing that I saw was that Jones, it was actually one of the wonks sent it to
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me.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:28.400)
Um, but he requested a 15% pay increase and I was like, he's going through tough times.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:35.880)
You can only go to Hawaii for vacation like two or three times a quarter, right?
Unknown Speaker (00:32:41.440)
I'm like this motherfucker, bro, you owe me $111 million and I'm crowd funding because
Unknown Speaker (00:32:47.880)
I don't have enough money to pay for my chemo this year.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:51.440)
This is not a future treatment this year.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:55.079)
And you need more money at 11% or whatever you 15% or whatever you skim that off of whatever
Unknown Speaker (00:33:04.359)
he's getting paid.
Unknown Speaker (00:33:05.359)
And it probably goes a long way towards some of your expenses.
Unknown Speaker (00:33:11.119)
You know, I wonder, I wonder if like these people at the bankruptcy court are, you know,
Unknown Speaker (00:33:17.160)
like what does it feel like to receive this information without emotion?
Unknown Speaker (00:33:23.799)
You know, like what is it like to be one of those psychos?
Unknown Speaker (00:33:27.480)
Because that's unacceptable shit.
Unknown Speaker (00:33:30.279)
You know, like just simply for you to say that to out loud, let alone write it, let
Unknown Speaker (00:33:36.460)
alone put it in writing where it can exist forever is unacceptable shit.
Unknown Speaker (00:33:41.319)
So you have to be an insane person to read it and be like, let's consider this as to
Unknown Speaker (00:33:47.000)
whether or not this is okay in bankruptcy case law, right?
Unknown Speaker (00:33:52.200)
And then it gets pitched to like this committee of plaintiffs who have been tortured and traumatized
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at his hand.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:01.640)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:02.640)
And like, then they have to like, I don't know.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:08.000)
But I mean, like, if you, this committee of plaintiffs can't find it in your heart to
Unknown Speaker (00:34:12.340)
fund his fifth vacation to Hawaii this quarter, then you're just taking this too personally.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:19.900)
This is a work vacation.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:21.639)
He needs to go try and infiltrate Mark Zuckerberg's underground compound.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:25.559)
All right, now you have me thinking.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:28.519)
I really, I really need to do some self-reflection on the trauma that I am causing to Alex Jones.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:38.800)
I mean, what I find so interesting about this is that I really don't give a, like, this
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is one of those situations where I really don't blame Alex at all.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:48.840)
This is fuck.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:49.840)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:50.840)
Of course.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:51.840)
Ask for more money.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:52.840)
Who fucking cares?
Unknown Speaker (00:34:53.840)
He's rational.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:54.840)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:55.840)
He's going to scam.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:56.840)
I am mad that any, anybody is at all allowed to at all of this.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:02.760)
So like for me, for me, Alex is the only person here who I am not mad at in this story.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:10.239)
I mean, you obviously, obviously, obviously, no, but to me, this is a complete fuck up
Unknown Speaker (00:35:23.619)
for every lawyer.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:26.000)
And they should all be really disgusted with themselves for existing, you know, like just
Unknown Speaker (00:35:30.739)
to hear this story, you should say to yourself, Oh, if only there was something a human could
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do.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:36.760)
And then you should be like, the last time human said that was, you know, like, let's
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put people in ovens.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:40.880)
So it's like fucking insane to me that this is okay, but like, sorry, look at the population
Unknown Speaker (00:35:48.659)
of human.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:49.659)
We're talking about Jones fucking Patis is still in the mix.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:55.480)
I don't know, but that's what I'm saying.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:00.380)
Policy lawyers are psychopaths.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:02.079)
Norm's doing something though.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:04.360)
He's like a little finger just hanging around somewhere whispering advice.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:09.119)
God, he's so creepy.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:12.239)
I think he's more like the hanger on in a children's group story, like a stand by me.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:21.480)
I feel like I should do some advertising for Norm Patis, right?
Unknown Speaker (00:36:27.340)
Like he should hire me and pay, don't even pay me money, just pay for my treatment, right?
Unknown Speaker (00:36:32.960)
And I'll be your advertiser, right?
Unknown Speaker (00:36:35.440)
Like I am a defense lawyer, okay?
Unknown Speaker (00:36:38.539)
If you want to lose $1.5 billion, hire me.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:42.360)
If you want to go to jail for 18 years, hire me.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:46.019)
And I'll just like be there just speaking to what I know about Norm Patis, which should
Unknown Speaker (00:36:50.840)
be fair.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:51.840)
I've only known him for like a year, but I got some good material, I got some good material.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:56.599)
He's been crushing it this year.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:58.199)
Right?
Unknown Speaker (00:36:59.199)
If there was a year-
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Like he lost a motherfucker $1.5 billion and then got some dude sentenced to 18 years.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:05.159)
Great job, Norm.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:06.159)
You want a great defense hire, Norm Patis.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:09.159)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:10.159)
God, he's crushing it.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:12.679)
But hey-
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It scanges me out.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:14.679)
Considering the amount of like statistics that people keep track of, I really feel like
Unknown Speaker (00:37:17.920)
somebody has to be able to measure Norm's year against the all time, like a baseball
Unknown Speaker (00:37:23.840)
stats.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:24.840)
LZ replacement.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:25.840)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:26.840)
Absolutely.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:27.840)
How much worse than an actual lawyer is he?
Unknown Speaker (00:37:31.360)
You know what I'm saying?
Unknown Speaker (00:37:32.360)
I feel like that ponytail is going to do a lot of numbers for him.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:35.559)
LZ replacement is larping.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:36.960)
Wait, hold on.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:37.960)
Hold on.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:38.960)
In this past year, I've gone through the Alex Jones trial, right, survived the 10 year anniversary
Unknown Speaker (00:37:45.840)
of my mom's murder, got diagnosed with a fucking brain tumor, and my baby brother died.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:51.039)
And I still think Norm Patis had a worse year than me.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:54.320)
Oh, damn.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:55.320)
That's-
Unknown Speaker (00:37:56.320)
That's-
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That's-
Unknown Speaker (00:37:58.320)
That's-
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That's a grim picture.
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I-
Unknown Speaker (00:38:01.320)
Well, you know why-
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I feel like I have to start a war based on those sentences.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:05.079)
Let me justify why that might be true.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:08.039)
You still have a great amount of decency and humor about yourself and ability to cope with
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this positively.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:16.679)
Norm is very clearly in denial about how bad his year is.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:19.480)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:20.480)
He's living in an illusion where he did everything right and he did a good job and outside forces
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were what screwed him over.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:30.280)
And you didn't say the n-word in an open mic, so you've got that going for you for sure.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:34.199)
Or drop my pants.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:35.840)
True.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:36.840)
Both of those things are true.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:38.840)
It's a good bit though.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:40.440)
I mean, it's a good set.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:42.980)
He's very funny.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:44.239)
He should be booked at the Laugh Factory.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:49.880)
You know, of all the-
Unknown Speaker (00:38:52.719)
When I stop and think about it, throughout all of our years of open mic standup in the
Unknown Speaker (00:38:57.900)
Chicago scene, I have seen a lot of people with day jobs try standup comedy.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:03.480)
I have never met anyone sadder than Norm Pattis.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:07.199)
And I have met some truly sad people.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:09.800)
I have met a few.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:10.800)
I don't want to talk about specifics.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:13.360)
I was going to say, I feel like I know the names that we're bandying about silently in
Unknown Speaker (00:39:19.360)
our head.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:20.360)
Oh yeah, we do.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:21.360)
Sing up the diamonds.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:22.360)
I did have one time, though, a guy did pull down his pants, but it was an audience member
Unknown Speaker (00:39:29.800)
while I was on stage.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:31.800)
Really?
Unknown Speaker (00:39:33.099)
I've seen three pants pull down.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:36.119)
The first night I met- actually, I won't tell that story.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:40.079)
Good call.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:43.559)
I had a situation where a guy was calling me the F-slur for no reason while I was on
Unknown Speaker (00:39:48.400)
stage and then he was like, hey, do you want to see my dick?
Unknown Speaker (00:39:53.639)
And I was just like, yes, please.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:55.280)
Everybody here wants to see your dick.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:57.480)
And very clearly not serious.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:59.679)
And then he pulled it out and started doing the helicopter move with it and started walking
Unknown Speaker (00:40:05.320)
towards the stage.
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And I'm like, this is going to get real good.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:08.039)
And then security took him and he had to leave.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:11.559)
But you know, I wanted to see what his closer was going to be.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:15.079)
Like, where does he go from there?
Unknown Speaker (00:40:18.719)
Like what is the end to that?
Unknown Speaker (00:40:22.039)
Probably punching me.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:23.039)
I mean, I assume.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:24.039)
With what, though?
Unknown Speaker (00:40:25.039)
Good point.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:26.039)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:27.039)
Here's that.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:28.039)
Norm didn't do that.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:31.260)
And so I guess there's that.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:37.519)
One point, Norm Paddis.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:39.440)
It probably is really helpful for you, you know, in this really difficult time in your
Unknown Speaker (00:40:44.000)
life to be able to have someone like him, though, to look at as, like, a boob.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:48.719)
At least I'm not that guy.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:50.639)
Exactly.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:51.639)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:52.639)
At least I'm not that schlabiel.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:58.800)
All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:05.519)
So one thing that I think is really cool that I want to give a little bit of a plug to or
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talk to you about a little bit about your feelings about, because I'm really excited
Unknown Speaker (00:41:14.119)
about it, is I mentioned this before we started recording, but there's going to be a beer
Unknown Speaker (00:41:19.840)
in your honor that's going to be created.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:21.360)
That's what we were about to...
Unknown Speaker (00:41:23.360)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:24.360)
I'm so excited.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:26.719)
There is a Raptor Princess IPA that is going to be released from a small brewery that is
Unknown Speaker (00:41:34.360)
going to have proceeds going to your treatment fund and what have you.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:40.480)
But yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:41.480)
How do you feel about this?
Unknown Speaker (00:41:42.480)
This is exciting.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:43.480)
Right?
Unknown Speaker (00:41:44.480)
No one's ever made a beer for me.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:45.480)
Oh my God.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:46.480)
It's...
Unknown Speaker (00:41:47.480)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:48.480)
First of all, it's the coolest fucking thing in the entire world.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:50.320)
I...
Unknown Speaker (00:41:51.320)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:52.320)
So I have had, have, I don't, I still don't know how to say this.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:57.760)
Three brothers, right?
Unknown Speaker (00:41:58.760)
Well, I just held up the number four, but let's pretend that didn't happen.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:02.000)
So I have three younger brothers.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:06.019)
My baby brother died in August and literally in his obituary, I wrote like, you know, it's
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like talking about the things that he loved to do and it was like, you know, Brian loved
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trying new IPAs with his brother-in-law and best friend, Steve, because my husband introduced
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him to good beer and not bitch beer, which my other two brothers drink.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:26.760)
So we got the baby drinking IPAs with us.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:29.360)
The day after Brian dies, I get the mock-up for the artwork of the Raptor Princess beer.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:35.400)
And I was like, this is fucking amazing.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:37.360)
I love this.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:38.360)
Brian would have loved it.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:39.360)
What I didn't know though, when they, they approached me with this idea is that I was
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going to have some input on the taste of said beer.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:50.219)
You did.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:51.219)
I didn't notice either.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:52.219)
Oh, what?
Unknown Speaker (00:42:53.219)
Whoa.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:54.219)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:55.219)
Big reveal.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:56.219)
Now listen.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:57.219)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:58.219)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:59.219)
When you get mailed packets of booze.
Unknown Speaker (00:43:00.219)
No.
Unknown Speaker (00:43:01.219)
Can you make it taste like a worm water?
Unknown Speaker (00:43:02.219)
This is what worm water tastes like have a taste of cancer.
Unknown Speaker (00:43:10.860)
This is, this tastes pretty good.
Unknown Speaker (00:43:12.360)
I'm going to send you some, I'm going to send you a jug of Aldi water and see if you can
Unknown Speaker (00:43:16.400)
recreate that kind of vibe.
Unknown Speaker (00:43:18.280)
Just duplicate this Aldi water, but get me drunk.
Unknown Speaker (00:43:24.679)
That's actually a, that's something that I hope to say someday.
Unknown Speaker (00:43:28.019)
But on the real tip, what, uh, what, what did you go with?
Unknown Speaker (00:43:31.480)
How, what are, what were your thoughts on that?
Unknown Speaker (00:43:33.920)
So, so I have, uh, there's a very small, uh, brewery in Connecticut, um, that has, um,
Unknown Speaker (00:43:42.960)
this, this beer that's called fuzzy baby duck and, um, it's like very like citrusy and it
Unknown Speaker (00:43:50.880)
goes down smoothly, but gives you like a real, real hoppy kick.
Unknown Speaker (00:43:55.320)
And then I don't know.
Unknown Speaker (00:43:56.320)
Um, I know Dave's had it, um, but there's another one, a double IPA that's sip of sunshine.
Unknown Speaker (00:44:01.960)
I don't know if you've had that.
Unknown Speaker (00:44:04.719)
So anyway, he was like, Oh my God, I actually just had that.
Unknown Speaker (00:44:06.880)
And I was like, yeah, it's like really big on the East coast.
Unknown Speaker (00:44:08.559)
And I was like, if you could mush those two things together.
Unknown Speaker (00:44:11.000)
So like we were talking about all the different notes and all of that.
Unknown Speaker (00:44:13.599)
And he was like, all right.
Unknown Speaker (00:44:14.599)
All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:44:15.599)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:44:16.599)
I'm going to roll with this.
Unknown Speaker (00:44:17.599)
And I was like, Holy shit.
Unknown Speaker (00:44:18.599)
I had no idea that I was going to be able to like, have any kind of play and like, what
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is on the can?
Unknown Speaker (00:44:23.400)
Yeah, that's, that is so much fun.
Unknown Speaker (00:44:27.840)
I mean, it's a, it's new spring beer is the, uh, the company, right?
Unknown Speaker (00:44:32.599)
That's company.
Unknown Speaker (00:44:33.599)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:44:34.599)
Dave, Dave is the, uh, person who's, who's spearheading, um, it's, that's so awesome.
Unknown Speaker (00:44:41.440)
Like just, I mean, beyond just the, the name on the camp, but the being able to create
Unknown Speaker (00:44:45.980)
like input for the flavors, right.
Unknown Speaker (00:44:48.920)
That's just so fun.
Unknown Speaker (00:44:49.920)
It's like something that like in my wildest dreams, I never, like, I have always loved
Unknown Speaker (00:44:56.159)
IPAs.
Unknown Speaker (00:44:57.159)
People have always thought I'm crazy because like, you know, I'm like 2021 and all my friends
Unknown Speaker (00:45:02.679)
are like, Oh, I don't like beer.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:03.960)
Like they won't even drink a fucking Bud Light.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:05.440)
And I'm like, let me try the IPAs.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:06.760)
Right.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:07.760)
And it's like before they got super popular.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:10.360)
You were, you're a IPA hipster.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:12.559)
You're 2021.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:14.280)
So you're early 2000s-ing, right?
Unknown Speaker (00:45:17.119)
Yes.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:18.119)
Yes.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:19.119)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:20.119)
And they're all about, if I recall, this was when Zima is at its peak.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:25.159)
People were-
Unknown Speaker (00:45:26.159)
It was the Zima.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:27.159)
It was-
Unknown Speaker (00:45:28.159)
People were icing each other.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:29.159)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:30.159)
They were doing the Smirnoff laces.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:31.159)
We got the Smirnoff laces all over the place.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:33.239)
And like, if they did drink a beer, it's like, Oh, give me a Corona with lime.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:36.760)
Because like we always drank at this place called Señor Pancho's.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:39.920)
It was like our go-to.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:40.920)
They had karaoke every Wednesday and I'd be like a Corona with lime, like I would literally
Unknown Speaker (00:45:47.360)
bring my own beer.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:48.360)
Everyone needs to grow up with the Señor Pancho's.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:53.239)
This brings me to a very important question and that is, what is your karaoke go-to?
Unknown Speaker (00:45:57.079)
Or what was back then?
Unknown Speaker (00:46:01.760)
You just made a face that looks like you're embarrassed.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:05.099)
So Avril Lavigne?
Unknown Speaker (00:46:06.099)
Sure.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:07.099)
Nothing wrong with that.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:08.099)
Had that song-
Unknown Speaker (00:46:09.099)
Complicated?
Unknown Speaker (00:46:10.099)
Wasn't it just Girlfriend?
Unknown Speaker (00:46:11.099)
Hey, hey, you, you.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:12.099)
I don't like your girlfriend.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:13.099)
I don't like your girlfriend.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:14.099)
Yes.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:15.099)
That one.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:16.099)
I think you need a new one.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:18.559)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:19.559)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:20.559)
That was yours?
Unknown Speaker (00:46:21.559)
A lot of that.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:22.559)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:23.559)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:24.559)
There was this thing with like my best friend and her boyfriend who may or may not have
Unknown Speaker (00:46:26.639)
had a fiance.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:28.960)
So like that was kind of our go-to.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:29.960)
At the time or now?
Unknown Speaker (00:46:31.599)
No, now they've been, I was their maid of honor in 2008 and they are happily married
Unknown Speaker (00:46:36.519)
with four kids.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:37.519)
Just saying.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:38.519)
But at the time there was a full question of whether or not it could have, it could
Unknown Speaker (00:46:43.699)
have gone either way.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:45.599)
There was somebody that would have made her dad very unhappy available.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:49.000)
Probably.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:50.000)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:51.000)
Probably.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:52.000)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:53.000)
So like we, that was like our go-to song.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:54.000)
It worked.
Unknown Speaker (00:46:56.119)
Was it the normal one or was it the version with Lil Mama?
Unknown Speaker (00:47:00.559)
The rapper Lil Mama.
Unknown Speaker (00:47:02.119)
It was the normal one.
Unknown Speaker (00:47:03.599)
It was the normal one.
Unknown Speaker (00:47:04.599)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:47:05.599)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:47:06.599)
Do you remember that music video for that song?
Unknown Speaker (00:47:08.960)
Like she, I feel like that was where she got a lot of heat for like co-opting Japanese
Unknown Speaker (00:47:14.800)
culture in an insensitive way.
Unknown Speaker (00:47:18.000)
I feel like she really got, she really got taken to task for that.
Unknown Speaker (00:47:23.320)
Avril.
Unknown Speaker (00:47:25.119)
She might've been married to Chad Kroger of Nickelback at the time.
Unknown Speaker (00:47:29.119)
Nickelback.
Unknown Speaker (00:47:31.119)
Every fucking, I mean, we're living in a world now where every fucking thing I hear sounds
Unknown Speaker (00:47:36.760)
like Mad Libs.
Unknown Speaker (00:47:37.760)
Yep.
Unknown Speaker (00:47:38.760)
It really does.
Unknown Speaker (00:47:39.760)
It just sounds like-
Unknown Speaker (00:47:40.760)
Half of the reason that I bring these things up is to drive you insane with these data
Unknown Speaker (00:47:44.119)
points.
Unknown Speaker (00:47:45.119)
It feels like I'm crazy.
Unknown Speaker (00:47:46.840)
It really does because I don't have an awareness of these things and then they just pop up
Unknown Speaker (00:47:53.360)
and people are expecting me to have a, be okay with it.
Unknown Speaker (00:47:57.280)
It's wild.
Unknown Speaker (00:47:58.280)
No.
Unknown Speaker (00:47:59.280)
It's wild.
Unknown Speaker (00:48:00.280)
So you'd go with Avril Lavigne.
Unknown Speaker (00:48:01.280)
People are expecting to know.
Unknown Speaker (00:48:02.280)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:48:03.280)
So Avril Lavigne, definitely go to Christina Aguilera, Dirty by Jamz.
Unknown Speaker (00:48:08.280)
Want to get a little bit, ta-da.
Unknown Speaker (00:48:11.840)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:48:12.840)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:48:13.840)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:48:14.840)
And we would always-
Unknown Speaker (00:48:15.840)
Voice of an angel.
Unknown Speaker (00:48:16.840)
We were all off on Wednesdays and Wednesday was karaoke night.
Unknown Speaker (00:48:19.800)
So we would wait until the mall opened and go to the mall and we would buy our Wednesday
Unknown Speaker (00:48:24.659)
night outfit and it was always matching and it was like the land of, or the time, the
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era of the quote shirts.
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Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Oh, no fear.
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No fear.
Unknown Speaker (00:48:41.119)
Yeah.
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So I had one that was like, get in line and it had like a dude with flowers, a dude with
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chocolate and then like a dude with a ring and it just said like, get in line or just
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like random, we had one that said, I could be your alibi.
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We had alibi shirts.
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We straight up had one that said like, we don't like you.
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Deal with it.
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Yeah.
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Pickle.
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Those confrontational ass shirts.
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Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:49:09.840)
Yeah.
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So yeah, that was fun.
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But we would go to the mall, we pick out our Wednesday outfits, we would eat Chinese food
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at the mall and then start drinking at like four o'clock.
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This is very similar to a lot of my routines, except for the buying new clothes, the drinking
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early and then going to karaoke was a hallmark.
Unknown Speaker (00:49:27.159)
Yeah, no, but every Wednesday, how I got up and went to work on Thursday, beyond me, but
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I did it.
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See, exactly.
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Thursday being the day off is so much easier, you know, if karaoke night is Wednesday night.
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But you couldn't buy the outfit and eat the Chinese food if you were working.
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So we needed the Wednesday off to prep the outfit.
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Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:49:47.920)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:49:48.920)
You're right.
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You know, it's the whole thing.
Unknown Speaker (00:49:50.920)
Wait, so that's 52 outfits a year?
Unknown Speaker (00:49:54.559)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:49:55.559)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:49:56.559)
That's a lot of outfits.
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But there's a lot of shirts that say a lot of confrontational things.
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Do you sell them afterwards?
Unknown Speaker (00:50:02.480)
No, I think they're probably still living in Melissa's mom's basement.
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Interesting.
Unknown Speaker (00:50:07.920)
Yeah, like we like the thing with me and these two friends, like it was so intense that like
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my mom started calling us the Lems because she was sick of saying Lindsay, Erica and
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Melissa.
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So we were just the Lems.
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So here's what you do.
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We would walk into the bar and it would be like reserved for Lems.
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I have Lem tattooed on my foot.
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Like
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You needed to find an Olga and a Natasha so you could be the Lemons.
Unknown Speaker (00:50:32.719)
Lemons.
Unknown Speaker (00:50:33.719)
No, so there were like, there were some like grip ons like every once in a while, like
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we would find like a Stephanie and she'd be like, Oh, now your actual like Lems or there
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was a Y.
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Yeah, fuck you Stephanie.
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Get the fuck out of here.
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No, no.
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Sick of your shit.
Unknown Speaker (00:50:47.679)
No, you're not an OG Lem.
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Right.
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But then like we had like names for them.
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Like Stephanie couldn't just be Stephanie.
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It was like, Oh, the one with the teeth.
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You know what I mean?
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Like we got mean about it.
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I would prefer you scream at my face.
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Fuck off.
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I know.
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I was an asshole.
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I'm, I'm, I'm proud to say I have reformed and I have a nice soccer mom now.
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It's okay to have a little bit asshole past, you know, people learn lessons.
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That's what I've learned from watching so much of the real world road rules challenge
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in the past couple months.
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I mean, I do it.
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We have not gone, we have not gone one hour without talking about the real world world
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rules challenge for the past couple of months.
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It's just so easy to not watch works for MTV.
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I'm just saying, Whoa.
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Oh, one of the lambs let's lem this relative who work, uh, works at MTV.
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Yeah.
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Well, I tried to get a cameo from CT from the real world road rules challenge for Jordan
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and he declined.
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So CT, I said no him to send Jordan a message.
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No thank you.
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It was personal though.
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He really doesn't like me.
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The bean town prince, not a fan of Jordan.
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Apparently.
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I think he was a big podcast guy and he just thinks I'm loud and annoying, which is good
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on him.
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I think it was because I wanted him to call you a loser.
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Little titty baby.
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And I think he just thought like, maybe this is something I shouldn't say.
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Yeah.
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Maybe this is a weird sex thing or something like that.
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Or maybe this is offensive and I don't realize it.
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I don't want to see.
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He's like, I don't want to get canceled.
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Right.
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I was just going to say he's going to get canceled for it.
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Yeah.
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He's assaulted physically and sexually multiple people on MTV and he's worried about a cameo.
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I was in the past.
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It's true.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:39.239)
It's true.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:40.239)
What recordings of it?
Unknown Speaker (00:52:41.239)
It's what was it on TV?
Unknown Speaker (00:52:43.119)
It's just on Paramount Plus.
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No big deal.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:45.119)
Yeah.
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All right.
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Well, yeah, it is everywhere.
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So you were, you were an IPA person from way back.
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This leads me to the question.
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Did you steer towards the IPA for this Raptor Princess beer or was that already just sort
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of like, you know, that was already on the table.
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It was already just a thing.
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And I was just like, whoa.
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I mean, I thought it was like, no, no, no.
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I would have been like, take my name off that shit.
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If you put my name on a stout, I am going to come in.
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I am going to find you and you are going to be in trouble.
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I came for John.
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You are going to be in trouble.
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I'm going to Norm Paddis your life.
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When I'm done with you, you're going to be wishing you were Norm Paddis.
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The insults here.
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If there's, if there's anything that ever outlasts us, making fun of Norm Paddis should
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be it.
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That's what it should be.
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Yeah.
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I mean, he just makes it too fucking easy.
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He really does.
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He could have just not existed in all of our lives.
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We would never have known.
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We would never have known that this weird clown exists.
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And it's so funny that he's the only person in Alex's orbit who has actually said our
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name and talked about us.
Unknown Speaker (00:54:07.840)
Yes.
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It is funny.
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He talked about us on his podcast.
Unknown Speaker (00:54:11.639)
He has a podcast?
Unknown Speaker (00:54:13.880)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:54:14.880)
It's called like, uh, uh, justice and justification or something like that.
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It's law and normal.
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Defense hire me.
Unknown Speaker (00:54:23.679)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:54:24.679)
Uh, I'm not good at this, uh, law and legitimacy is the name of his podcast.
Unknown Speaker (00:54:33.559)
And I only know that because he talked about us and I wouldn't recommend the podcast itself.
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I think he called us.
Unknown Speaker (00:54:41.880)
I'm not fucking listening to it, but I got, I gotta, I got people who will like scan for
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me and give me highlights.
Unknown Speaker (00:54:48.320)
Oh yeah.
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He might've talked about you even, you know, who knows?
Unknown Speaker (00:54:51.639)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:54:52.639)
That's possible.
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He's, he might've had some fun words.
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He whines.
Unknown Speaker (00:54:58.039)
Yeah.
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He's a whiner.
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He whines quite a bit.
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He's known for whining.
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He whines in his, like in his cross examination, he was whining, which is like, he would like
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tried to say the name of the organization I worked for.
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I was like, uh, did you mean like, you can't even get simple facts straight dude.
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Like I don't know.
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To be fair, he had a lot of stuff he had to pretend not to know, you know, that takes
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up a lot.
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But if you're coming for me about my job, get the fucking name right.
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Or don't come for me because I'm going to shut you down and make you look more stupid
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than your ponytail.
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And that's, that is a high bar.
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So I steering back to like the bankruptcy stuff, like the picture that you get from
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watching Alex's show is that everything is going great for him.
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It's just a matter of getting a few details sorted out.
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And then everything is like, his life is going to be back to normal and wonderful.
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But then if you're watching the show itself, like not just listening to his words, you
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get the sense that there's trouble.
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And I w I wonder what your perspective is as, as someone who is watching, there's maybe
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a little bit closer, a little bit more, like, let me give you, let me give you an idea.
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Like, like if we were doing cross-referencing dates for an alibi, you know, like when you
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get news, is he calling for the death of all humanity on that day?
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You know what I mean?
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Like that kind of situation.
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I put extreme effort into not listening to a fucking word he says, not smart.
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I don't, I don't go to the website.
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I don't listen to a show.
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I don't watch a show.
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And any highlights I get come from the wonks who are like, yo, listen to this shit.
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Or from the lawyers who are like, yo, listen to this shit.
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Same word, slightly different meaning.
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So like, I just get like the highlights.
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What I know from what is, has been reported back to me from what's been said on the show
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is like, oh yeah, like there's this little bankruptcy hiccup, and these people think
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I owe them money, but they're not getting anything because there's nothing to give.
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But then he's whining to the fucking courts that he needs a raise because he can't live
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on, I don't know, whatever it is, $750,000 a year or some shit like that.
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And I'm like, oh, cool.
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He does not talk about that on the show for sure.
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The raise is not something that like, because obviously that ruins his, the image that he's
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trying to cultivate in the audience's mind of him being like a modest work a day kind
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of guy who's just trying to get by just like you and me, just to, you know, just to Joe
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lunchbox.
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Can you, let me throw this out.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:57.039)
Can you negotiate?
Unknown Speaker (00:57:58.039)
All right.
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So you'll give him a 10% raise, but he has to pay you 10% of that.
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And give me his desk.
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Like can, is there room to be like, Hey, here's what we're going to do.
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We're going to make a deal now.
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I mean, I don't even know.
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Like I know that there's like the process, right.
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That the bankruptcy has to go through and there's like mediation, but like to what end,
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like where is it going?
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Because he's just like, I have nothing.
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I have nothing.
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I have nothing.
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And they're like, you owe $1.5 billion and there's not a middle point.
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So it's like, I feel like everyone is just being forced to waste their time because Alex
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is an asshole.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:42.119)
Totally.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:43.119)
Yeah.
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But isn't that kind of the whole thing?
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Like that's the, that's the tail of the tail.
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That's where we are.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:47.519)
Yeah.
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The entire trial.
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It's literally what got us here.
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Like, so, so, but I mean, if Alex can make these, like, can I have a 10% raise kinds
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of things?
Unknown Speaker (00:58:57.079)
I don't understand why you can't make your own, like, okay, then you give me shit.
Unknown Speaker (00:59:01.880)
You give me, you give me your house, yeah, you give me your house.
Unknown Speaker (00:59:06.079)
One of those properties that's mine now that you think is worth $9 million or yeah, I don't
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understand how that's not available if you can ask for a raise, if he can ask for a raise,
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you get to ask for his fucking feet.
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I don't understand why he doesn't have tomatoes.
Unknown Speaker (00:59:29.119)
I would rather tomato toes than Alex Jones toes though.
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I'm just saying any day.
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Yeah, for sure.
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You never know that that toe might end up like committing crimes, like some kind of
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horror movie.
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I mean, I have a sister with nine toes.
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She's living, living fine.
Unknown Speaker (00:59:44.880)
Here's what I, here's what I would demand.
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The desk for me and then Norm's ponytail, because these are things that you can't get
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anywhere else.
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These are like one of a kind.
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Get Norm's ponytail, give it to locks for hate.
Unknown Speaker (00:59:58.079)
I don't want Norm's, I don't want Norm's ponytail.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:01.920)
I want to watch him cut it off.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:04.039)
Yes, exactly.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:05.039)
That's it.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:06.039)
Yeah.
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I need to get that desk and I'm in a blood feud with Bill Ogden from the Texas case because
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he has a claim on that desk and so I need to find another way to get it.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:17.199)
What he doesn't know is that I am always right behind him on all fours.
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So in any kind of situation, Dan can just push him and he will fall over.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:26.079)
You know, I did that to somebody once.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:31.119)
Did you also tie their fucking shoelaces together?
Unknown Speaker (01:00:33.280)
What's wrong with you?
Unknown Speaker (01:00:34.280)
No, it was yet another one of these weird parties that I was at.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:40.119)
It was at a house party and the host of the party was this guy who was kind of like a
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target of a bit of bullying from me and some of my friends, which I regret in hindsight.
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But you know, it was just kind of, he was a little bit of a nerdy kind of, he was nice
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and I don't know, I regret it.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:56.119)
We made up after this and you know, we've made peace and everything.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:59.360)
It's fine.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:00.360)
But, um, somebody, I had somebody duck for that hallmark movie that we just went through.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:05.880)
I have to clarify because I come out of this looking pretty bad.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:10.039)
I mean, I just own to someone calling someone T. We're all bad, but I had someone duck behind
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him and then I pushed him over and it, you know, you see it in movies and in cartoons
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and stuff, and it happens exactly like it looks.
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The person goes like, wah!
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It was hilarious.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:29.599)
And so he immediately throws me out.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:30.599)
Why don't you see my husband doing that to our kids?
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Well he will now.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:37.880)
Whenever whenever I tell somebody that it is hilarious, I run the risk of them doing
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it and they shouldn't.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:44.159)
They shouldn't do it.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:45.159)
It's very dangerous.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:46.159)
But he kicked me out of his house, obviously his right to do, but I still had a lot of
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beer with me.
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And so I sort of drank on the porch and then I was just kind of like, he came out and I
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was like, look, man, it's a classic move.
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I was arguing with him that he couldn't be mad because it's a classic.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:05.199)
I actually would, if, if you pull that out with me, I would totally be like, ah, you're
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not wrong.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:12.000)
It is a classic.
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It did work.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:14.000)
He let me back in the party.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:15.000)
See, this is what I'm saying.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:16.000)
It's a classic.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:17.000)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:18.000)
So when I was in high school, we had this like giant covered porch.
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So like rain, shine, sleet, snow.
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My mom would get home from work and there's 30 kids on my front porch.
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So she's inside one time, like I want to say making dinner, but like, let's be real, my
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grandma cooked.
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She didn't.
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But anyway, she hears my friend Zach swear and she was like, she comes out and she's
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like, Zachary, you're grounded.
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And she grounded him from the porch.
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So for the next several days, he had to sit across the street and we would like yell back
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and forth to him.
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And he just like sat there on the sidewalk, like, oh, poor me, I'm grounded and like literally
Unknown Speaker (01:02:57.219)
like followed my mom's rules and it was fucking hilarious.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:01.260)
So he got kicked off the porch.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:04.480)
Wow.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:05.480)
That's, that's, that's a level of respect that someone can garner to like be able to
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claim that boundary.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:11.599)
Can't even come on the porch.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:13.079)
Right?
Unknown Speaker (01:03:14.079)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:15.079)
That's bad ass, man.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:18.199)
I used to sit out on my porch at my old place and there was people across the street.
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There's a lady and her kid that would always be on the porch.
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And one day she sent her little kid over who was like, I don't know, maybe five or six
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to ask us for a beer because she wanted a beer but didn't want to come over.
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I was like, I don't know what I feel about this.
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I'm happy to give her a beer, but I don't want to give it to this kid.
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But I did.
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I gave it to the five year old, but I watched him go give it to the mom.
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I'm like, sure.
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Another story where I come out looking great.
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Cause you're a responsible adult.
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Of course.
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Erica, I don't think we want to occupy your entire day.
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Is there, is there anything that you would like to get out?
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You know, I mean, I just feel like this whole community of Wonks has, they've just been
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like my utter bright spot, man.
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Like I had a meltdown the other day.
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People were like showing up at my house because like somebody fucked up an address for like
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this construction situation.
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So I have like somebody come into like install countertops, somebody coming to drop off like
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a load of like milling for the driveway.
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And I'm like, they're coming after me.
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They've found my new address.
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Right.
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So I like call Ashley here, message Ashley, like one of the wonderful Wonks.
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And I'm like having this fucking meltdown.
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And she was like, Erica.
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There's almost the exact same address right around the corner from you.
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It's just like, you got to like, like remove one letter and the same as she's like talking
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me off the ledge.
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And I'm like, okay, cool, cool.
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So like, you know, she's like, who I go to for meltdowns or if I, you know, need to like
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vent about like the wonky legally shit that I don't understand.
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Like I know Morgan's going to be there.
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If I have medical questions, I go to John and feel like getting drunk.
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I called Dave, you know, they have just become like my go-to humans and I love that I'm here
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for it.
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It is basically like, there's a dirty dozen, you know, like you've got a specialty of bizarre.
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These people, uh, um, we're amazing.
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Yeah, they're absolutely amazing.
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And I, I don't know how I would have gotten through this past like six months without
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them and their love and the support and their fucking donations and that, I don't know.
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And they're fucking funny, man.
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And all the animal pictures, like, like I'm having a bad day and it's just like, here
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get flooded with animals.
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Here are the puppies and kitties.
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Like, yes, I'm living for this.
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It's almost like a, um, a seal team, but it's like of actual seal pictures, you know, like
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they just go into action and, and, uh, like, Oh, there's trouble.
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We need unlikely animal friendships, stat, mobilize.
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Right?
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It's so good.
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It's so good.
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And I mean, I've gotten like so many like hand knitted things and tees sent and they've
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just been, Oh my God.
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So loving and so supportive.
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And I don't know, I just, I don't, I don't know where the fuck I would be.
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Like if I didn't find this community and it's fucking amazing, man.
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It's so awesome.
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I mean, I feel like obviously, you know, Jordan and I are in a similar boat of like, where
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would we be without these wonderful people?
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Um, but yeah, it's just, I, I, I it's, it, it's bizarre how human people are as a mass
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of an audience.
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I don't know.
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I don't know how to put it other than that, but it's just, and it's like, I'll just like
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post like one thing and like this person's like, Oh, this is my specialty.
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Or if it's not them, it's my mom or my wife or they'll tag someone else.
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And it's like, they know everything about this situation.
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I'm just like, how do you find like this community of geniuses?
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Like the weirdest, you gotta be careful though.
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Cause some of them might just be feigning that confidence.
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They might try and tell you like a penguin's a fish or something, you know, trust, but
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verify that's the, that's the, uh, the name of the game.
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I really hope no one ever checks my Google history, man.
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I think that's, that's a very common thought that people have.
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Well thank you so much for joining us again.
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This has been a delight and I hope we'll talk again in the future and that in the interim
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time that everything goes, goes well with you and you have even better news.
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Yes.
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Maybe I'll be able to drink more than one kind of water next time I talk to you.
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Fingers crossed.
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What if it's, what if it's permanent?
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What if you're only an Aldi person for life now?
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Could be, could be.
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I wouldn't put it past me.
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Could be worse.
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Could be worse than having to go to Aldi.
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We are not sponsored by Aldi.
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I promise.
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I promise you.
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All right.
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Thank you so much, Erica.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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Andy in Kansas.
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You're on the air.
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Thanks for holding.
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Hello Alex.
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I'm a first time caller.
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I'm a huge fan.
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I love your work.
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I love you.
