Transcript/783: March 2, 2006 (Live)
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It's Thursday, March 2nd, the second day of March.
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On this Thursday, March 2nd, March 2nd, it's already March 2nd, the Ides of March.
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That's when they killed Julius Caesar at the middle of March.
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Beware the Ides of March.
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It's already Thursday, March 2nd, Red Alert!
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Red Alert!
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Red Alert!
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N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-knowledge fight.
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Dead!
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Dead!
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Dead!
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Dead!
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Dead!
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Dead!
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N-n-n-n-n-n-knowledge fight.
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Dead!
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Can someone pray?
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Have great respect for knowledge, one.
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Knowledge and fight.
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I'm sick of them posing as if they're the good guys, saying we are the bad guys.
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The knowledge we find.
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Dan and George!
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Knowledge.
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Fight.
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N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-knowledge.
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Need, saying we need money.
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N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-knowledge fight.
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N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-knowledge fight.
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end-end-end-end-end-end- grade.
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Andy and Nowmar.
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Stop!
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Andy and moss.
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Stop, yes.
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Andy and Janus.
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Andy and Janus.
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Andy and Chansa sure on the air. Thanks for holding.
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Hello, Alex. I'm a first-time caller. I'm a huge fan.
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I love your work.
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Knowledge Fight.
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Knowledgefight.com.
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I love you. I love you. I love you.
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CHEERING
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Hey, everybody!
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Welcome to Knowledge Fight. I'm Dan.
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I'm Jordan.
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We are a couple of dudes who like to sit on a stage,
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worship at the altar of Selene,
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and talk a little bit about Alex Jones.
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CHEERING
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Oh, indeed we are, Dan.
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Jordan?
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Dan!
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Jordan!
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Quick question for you, buddy.
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What's up?
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What's your bright spot today?
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My bright spot today, Jordan, is we are here at the famous X-Ray arcade.
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CHEERING
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Just a fantastic venue, lovely crowd here in front of us.
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We got DJ Dan Arkey on the ones and twos.
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Give it up for him!
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CHEERING
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Marty DeRosa telling some jokes.
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Marty DeRosa!
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CHEERING
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I mean, it's just bright as hell, you know what I'm saying?
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Yeah, I know. I think this is probably as good as it gets.
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Yeah.
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Let's get out of here.
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Yeah, no shit. Bye.
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LAUGHTER
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What about you? What's your bright spot?
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What's your bright spot?
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Because I stole the big audience popping one, you know?
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OK, I suppose my bright spot is tomorrow I'm going to go to Target with you.
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Yeah, I'm not coming.
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You're not coming?
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No, you're going to Target by yourself.
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OK.
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I've got to think of a new bright spot then.
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LAUGHTER
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All right, for the sake of argument, I'll come with you to Target tomorrow.
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OK, OK. All right.
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Well, then I'm going to get a pair of swim trunks.
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Yeah, that's true.
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Yeah, yeah, and then we're going to get into a hot tub.
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Well, I mean, come on, man.
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And then we're going to find another globalist.
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Well, look...
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LAUGHTER
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And then we will be three globalists in a hot tub.
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If I know anything, if the two of us get in a hot tub, a third will just show up.
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Yeah, that's true.
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Probably Soros.
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LAUGHTER
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I don't think we write Soros yet.
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Anybody tracking his plan?
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Listen, we've gotten bigger, but we're not Soros level yet.
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LAUGHTER
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I don't know. I feel like we could probably get a nod from Soros.
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You know what I mean?
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Maybe not a check, maybe not attention, but like a polite Midwest nod.
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I don't want a nod from a billionaire. Fuck off.
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Fuck you.
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So your whole bright spot is going to Target with me and getting a swimsuit tomorrow?
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No, obviously my bright spot is these motherfuckers out here.
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What do you want from me?
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CHEERING
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What do you want from me?
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Nothing is... Everything is anticlimactic to that.
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Like, oh, the drive was good.
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Yeah, the drive was nice.
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The drive was good.
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It was only an hour.
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We made it.
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It was good times.
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Such good times.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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You were all over the road.
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LAUGHTER
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Like Speed Racer.
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Yep, yep.
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LAUGHTER
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So...
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Do we do a show?
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This is surreal.
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I don't know why there are so many people here...
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LAUGHTER
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...who are fully aware that a large part of this show
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is going to be watching me read something from a Word doc.
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CHEERING
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I guess it takes all kinds.
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LAUGHTER
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But Jordan, we have an episode to go over today.
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Oh, do we?
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Yeah, we do.
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Yeah, what's it about?
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Well, I mean, I think there's always a little bit of a tension.
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If you're doing a live show, it's really difficult.
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You want to do a normal show because people are coming
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because they like the show.
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Well, I mean, we're going to release it as a podcast anyway.
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So these people...
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I mean, you guys are important.
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Yeah.
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But you're like 150 people or whatever, so...
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Damn, man.
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That's important.
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So much for you guys being his bright spot.
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LAUGHTER
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You guys are nothing compared to downloads.
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LAUGHTER
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Harsh.
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LAUGHTER
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But just doing a normal episode doesn't feel kind of right
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if we're doing a live show.
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It feels like there needs to be something special about it.
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Oh, absolutely.
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And so I was poking around,
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trying to find famous people from Milwaukee.
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Are there any?
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LAUGHTER
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Well, that's not fair.
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You have Dahmer, right?
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LAUGHTER
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Isn't...
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I'm not doing that one.
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No, no, no, no.
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That's not fun for a live show.
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There was William Rehnquist,
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Supreme Court Justice William Rehnquist.
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We were considering covering the episode where he died,
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the day after he died.
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But that seemed a little dark.
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That's a little bit on the nose.
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Kato Kaelin?
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I think Milwaukee gets to claim 50% of Mike Myers.
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OK.
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For...
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Like Canada gets the rest?
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Yeah, exactly.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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OK.
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Because he did Milly Wockay.
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I mean, if you even have that in your movie, then yeah.
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Sure.
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That's about as good as it gets.
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All right.
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That was an easy negotiation.
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You all get half of Mike Myers.
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You all get half of Mike Myers.
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Unfortunately, it's The Love Guru.
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It's...
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Ooh.
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Oof.
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Oh, man.
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So...
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The pentaverit!
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I was trying to find something to do, something that would be fun.
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And today is March 2nd.
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And you know what that day is, right?
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3-2.
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Yes, it is.
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23.
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It is also Texas Independence Day.
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No!
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It's a palindrome and an Independence Day today?
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The greatest holiday for a Texan.
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And as our show is about the world's greatest Texan, I thought,
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well, hell, let's go and see what he was doing on a Texas Independence Day.
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I mean, I assume he is still in the White House known as the Texan.
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Sure.
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Biden calls him that.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Well, I mean, it's grandfathered in.
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Yeah.
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It's printed all over the place.
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There's pictures of him.
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It's already on the stationery.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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You can't do anything about it.
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Yeah.
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And so, I mean, we recently talked about Texas Independence Day on the show.
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I mean, it was recently...
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It recently came up on the podcast.
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And so I was really inspired by the history that I learned of it at UT.
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And so I decided to really pull out all the stops.
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Okay.
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And we have with us here tonight the last living member of the 1896 Law School...
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We don't have that.
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I was going to try and get a fake cannon.
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I was going to try and support you in that bit, but I'm sorry, I just couldn't.
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Yeah.
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I understand.
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I don't either.
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No, no, no.
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It's good.
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So today we're going to be going over March 2nd, 2006.
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Okay.
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Interesting time in Alex's life, certainly, 2006.
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I had just dropped out of college for the first time.
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Hey, congratulations.
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One of four.
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What?
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We've been doing this podcast for many years and we've been friends.
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You know I've been doing it.
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But I didn't know it was four.
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I've dropped out of five colleges.
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I mean, technically, according to some people, I have a master's degree, but according to
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more important people, I have no degree.
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Yeah.
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It's a feat.
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Mm-hmm.
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So we're going to be going over this episode, but before we do, we should say hello to some
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wonks.
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Oh, that's a great idea.
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So as a little special thing, we have people have filled out wonk names.
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We did a thing.
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You know what I'm realizing right now?
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What's that?
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Is it a bad idea?
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I don't have the wonk sound effect.
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So I think people will have to say you're a policy wonk.
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I think that's got to happen.
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Yeah, yeah.
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I think that's-
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How many people can do the entire technocrat drop?
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We're not going to mess up.
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Wait, which one?
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How many people can do all of the technocrat drop?
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So first, Paige, just Paige, you're now a policy wonk.
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Thank you very much.
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Next, KG at home, you're now a policy wonk.
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Thank you very much.
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I'm guessing that's somebody who could not make it.
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They're one of the important people who will be listening later.
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Ooh.
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This one's blank.
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Thank you very much.
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Maxwell of the Poor Historians podcast, you are now a policy wonk.
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Thank you very much.
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All right, that's enough of that.
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I should have brought the sound effect.
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It was a 50-50 proposition at best.
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Yeah, in hindsight.
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So I'm going to spoil this right out of the gate.
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The Texas Independence Day doesn't even come up once.
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It's kind of a theme of these live shows.
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I don't find what I'm looking for.
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And in this case, we do not hear anything about Texas Independence Day
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or the wonderful law school students from 1896.
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But we do have some big news.
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And so we'll start the episode here with this.
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Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
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It is Thursday, the second day of March 2006.
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We're going to be live here for the next three hours.
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We're going to have wide open phones on any news topic, any issue, any item.
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You disagree with me.
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You agree with me.
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You have a question, a comment, 1-800-2599231.
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Ron Paul will be showing up sometime in the third hour.
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He is scheduled today.
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Yeah, no Texas Independence Day, but I heard that and I thought, Ron Paul, fuck yeah.
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You know who likes that guy?
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Crowds of young, non-insane people.
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I am just now realizing that as what amounts to the audience surrogate,
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I am no longer necessary.
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Once you guys are doing the awe in the middle of the clip, what do I do?
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What do I do? Someone help me.
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We'll get to that shortly, I assume.
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How do you feel about the prospect of talking about Ron Paul in front of a bunch of people?
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In 2006, what was Ron Paul most recently known for being racist against?
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That is a great question.
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He could run the gamut, really.
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I don't know.
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He hadn't run for president in 2008 and 2012 yet.
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He still kind of...
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Is he a House member now in 2006 still?
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Well, see, here's the thing. I don't know.
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Because he was...
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Well, now you're unnecessary to the show.
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Touché.
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He was for a long time and then he wasn't for a while and then he got in the House again.
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He got in the House again?
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I think he is back in 2006.
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Is he back now?
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In spirit.
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He's not there, but he is definitely... his presence is felt.
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He's represented.
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And, I mean, we are our ancestors, so...
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Ron Paul is Ron Paul.
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Yeah, that's true. That is true.
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But now he's switched over to the Senate, right?
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Ooh. I wonder what the next one's gonna do.
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Now, I was listening to this episode and I thought,
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Hey, Ron Paul coming up? Pretty exciting.
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But I got caught off guard by a lot of commercials in this episode that I found upsetting.
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So here is one of the commercials that Alex was playing in 2006.
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Protecta complete fuel system treatment.
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Protecta's unique synthetic fortifiers treat the metal and the oil to reduce friction like no other.
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Okay, I'll add some Protecta, but you'll have to perform.
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How about faster acceleration, more horsepower, longer lasting.
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I'll always be there for you.
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So if you want more, treat it right with Protecta by SFR.
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Okay, so...
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Dan, as your Ford Focus, if you do not take care of me, I will fucking kill myself.
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That's my ad.
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I kind of prefer that ad to be, hey, do you want to fuck your car?
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Do you want it to feel better when you fuck your car?
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Are you experiencing a weird abusive relationship with your car?
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And the other part too that's really bizarre is that there's some sort of an interpersonal relationship going on,
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but he has three more years of payment.
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Sure, sure, sure.
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He has bought this personified car he's fucking.
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See, now there's a whole host of questions that arises once you're there.
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You bet.
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Like, is indentured servitude okay if it's a car?
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These are the questions that transhumanism and robots are.
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Oh my god, Knight Rider. Knight Rider.
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Whoa.
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Knight Rider.
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Keep saying it.
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I'm just concerned.
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Like, is this the conversation we didn't hear on Knight Rider?
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You think that's Kit?
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I think that's Kit.
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Might have been Kit.
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Could be.
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So there's a lot of characters in 2006 who were there.
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There's a number of characters who aren't there.
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But as we know from monitoring Alex Jones over the years,
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Paul Joseph Watson is a pretty consistent presence on the show.
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That's fair.
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I mean, it was a little mild of a boo.
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Alright, I like that.
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So here, whoever yelled fuck him, what you don't know is that in 2006,
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Paul Joseph Watson was on fire.
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He was doing such a good job.
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So I don't forget and not cover this.
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Let's just do it right now.
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Two articles by Paul Watson, who is a man on fire.
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Paul is working.
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I can report to you 18 hours a day without being pushed and prodded
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because he knows the time is short.
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He knows the enemy is coming.
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He understands how serious things are,
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and he is now working as hard as I am, and I commend him.
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Steve's working pretty hard as well in between being a rock star in London
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and beating the women off with a stick.
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You ought to witness it when I was over there with him.
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But he's putting in about eight hours a day.
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He needs to get on fire like, I'm just teasing you, Steve.
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I'm just teasing you, Steve.
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I love Steve.
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He's a great guy.
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Alex seems fun to work for.
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Okay, I don't understand how it is that he can be proud of a guy
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who is obviously not working 18 hours a day
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and then shit on the guy who's traveled to work.
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Yeah, but you know what?
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It is fun to have these brothers, Paul Joseph Watson and Steve Watson,
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both work for Alex, and him go on air and be like,
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Paul's doing such a great job.
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That dude is so on fire.
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Steve sucks.
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He'd be good if he wasn't out trying to get laid all the time.
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Is this like a Japanese management technique
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where it's like you play the brothers against each other?
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I have to assume he thinks they would never hear this,
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but it's on a radio show.
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It seems like personal shit.
Unknown Speaker (00:16:37.000)
I mean, that just means he knows they don't listen to a show.
Unknown Speaker (00:16:40.000)
Right, or he really doesn't like Steve.
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That's fair.
Unknown Speaker (00:16:45.000)
So Paul Joseph Watson has these articles.
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Okay.
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He's working on them all real hard.
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This is so exciting.
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I've just got to commend Paul Joseph Watson right now
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because he's on fire.
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Let me just read this little article he wrote about the Simpsons situation.
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What is the Simpsons situation?
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In 2006.
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Can you guess what the Simpsons situation is?
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Homer Simpson wore a dress.
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That's interesting.
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No, would you like to make another guess?
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Okay.
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Lisa Simpson was like, maybe people should have healthcare.
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Ooh, that sounds like her.
Unknown Speaker (00:17:27.000)
Yeah, that does sound like that.
Unknown Speaker (00:17:28.000)
I feel like that's reasonable for in-character stuff.
Unknown Speaker (00:17:30.000)
Yeah, single payer.
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Sax break.
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When did they kill Mr. Burns?
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That was in the 90s, right?
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That was like 95.
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So that's not this.
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No, no, no.
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Also, Mr. Burns is still alive.
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Yeah.
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This is news.
Unknown Speaker (00:17:47.000)
Yep.
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So here is what the Simpsons situation is.
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Okay, what's the Simpsons situation?
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It's mildly disappointing.
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Why Americans know more about the Simpsons than the Constitution
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and why it is a benchmark of how much danger we are in.
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Most Americans can name Simpsons characters
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than they can the freedoms that the First Amendment upholds.
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Again, more Americans can name Simpsons characters
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than they can the freedoms that the First Amendment upholds.
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This is a benchmark of how much danger the country is in
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and the blame can be laid with public education.
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Damn.
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Damn.
Unknown Speaker (00:18:27.000)
Okay, so if I understand correctly.
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Yeah.
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People can name too many Simpsons characters.
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Too many.
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In comparison to the number of freedoms we have.
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Well, there's five protections of the First Amendment.
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Sure.
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And there's five primary family members of the Simpsons.
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That's a good point.
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So you can't just throw around like Smithers
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and Hans Moleman and shit.
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Right, right, right.
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Okay.
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All right, all right.
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What about Mo?
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Wait, nobody out there, help him.
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I'm sure you-
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Don't you dare ask me this.
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I'm sure you can name all five family members.
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Don't you dare do it.
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Right?
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I'm sure you can.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Homer Marge.
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Marge?
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Oh my God.
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You're so fancy.
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Homer Marge, Lisa, Bart, and Maggie.
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That's correct.
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Yes.
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Yeah.
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Yes.
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Now-
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Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness.
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What do you want from me?
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The First Amendment.
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Yes.
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Do you know all five of them?
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Freedom of speech, freedom of the press, freedom of religion, freedom to congregate, and freedom
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to masturbate.
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All five.
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All five, baby.
Unknown Speaker (00:19:33.000)
No, the fifth one is you have the right to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
Unknown Speaker (00:19:41.000)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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But that doesn't-
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The one everyone remembers because it makes so much sense.
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It doesn't feel like it fits in with the others, and so obviously people would mistake them
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or mess up that one.
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But also, The Simpsons are characters.
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Yeah.
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I think that if you had fun cartoons that were slightly offensive and really funny for
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20 years, and the characters in it were the amendment freedoms-
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No, no, no.
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People would be able to name them.
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What kind of proof of concept would you have?
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Like some sort of cartoon that is beloved across generations about how bills become
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law?
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There's no way that exists.
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This also was a poll that was carried out by the McCormick Tribune Freedom Museum, which
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is actually in Chicago.
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I'm sorry.
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I'm sorry.
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We should go visit it.
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I'm sorry.
Unknown Speaker (00:20:31.000)
Yep.
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Are they like an accredited poll?
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Nope.
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What's their bias?
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Are they like Rasmussen?
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Nope.
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Like what kind of-
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Nope.
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Five points republic?
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They're a freedom museum.
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That's what they are.
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Freedom museum?
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And it was basically like this whole article was just a click bait press release type of
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thing because the Freedom Museum was opening in April of 2006.
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Yeah.
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So this was just getting the word out about the McCormick Tribune Freedom Museum, and
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then they closed after three years because no one gave a shit.
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They should have opened a Simpsons museum.
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Clearly.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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The Simpsons museum still going strong.
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Where?
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What?
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I don't know.
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There's like four of them.
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Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:21:10.839)
Okay.
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It's an evergreen concept.
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It's basically in most people's homes.
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Anybody?
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Well, there's so many towns named Springfield.
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You put it anywhere.
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All right.
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I don't fault silence there because that was not anything that meant anything.
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It was just a sentence.
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Yep.
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Yeah.
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No, the silence is my fault is how this works.
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That's how this relationship works.
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So Alex gets to talking about how much these freedoms are.
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No one knows about them, and it's a public education's fault.
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And this launches him down a entire rabbit hole about how the globalists are intentionally
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making sure that no one gets a good education.
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Right.
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School is making you dumb.
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Right.
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And one thing to question is if you have freedoms, shouldn't you not know what they are by very
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virtue of you being free to do them?
Unknown Speaker (00:22:07.000)
That's interesting.
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So you're saying that-
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You can only know the boundaries of your freedoms.
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Right.
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You cannot know your actual freedom.
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You can only really know that it exists once it's been breached?
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Exactly.
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Right.
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So shouldn't you not know your freedoms if you were free?
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Maybe.
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And you're really smart because you didn't have those public education.
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A degree?
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School didn't have a chance to make you dumb.
Unknown Speaker (00:22:31.519)
So anyway, Alex talks a little bit about this.
Unknown Speaker (00:22:41.640)
I don't know what you mean by that.
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Similarly, the Rockefeller Education Board, which funded the creation of numerous public
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schools, issued a statement which read in part, and in my first film, American Swim
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by Design, I go show a model UN brainwashing session at UT with high school juniors and
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seniors, and I'd been researching at the UT library and had read quotes by the Rockefeller
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Brothers Foundation saying this.
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And guess what?
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I went and pulled the actual report by the Rockefeller Brothers Foundation and actually
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read it from their own report.
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When I read this 10 years ago, I did not believe it.
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And back in the day, you couldn't find this stuff on the web.
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I spent every week I was down there for hours at UT.
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And every time I read a quote somewhere, saw it in the newsletter, I said, that's not true.
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And I'd go down and every time.
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Penny treats have been so honest, especially back in the day, I mean, it was just all true.
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No matter how horrible it sounded, no matter how horrible it was, it was true.
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See, that's my experience too.
Unknown Speaker (00:23:42.240)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Back when they were like, aha, the shape of your forehead means you're evil.
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They knew what they were doing back then.
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The Patriots back then were so honest.
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They just said everything was so correct and true.
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Absolutely.
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That's why they edited their Bibles.
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So Alex pretends that he's reading a Rockefeller document here that he has said that he's gone
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to libraries and found.
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So let's enjoy a little bit of that.
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Okay.
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You're beginning to realize how bone chilling this is.
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Let me read to you from the Rockefeller foundation, Rockefeller brothers report, quote, it continues.
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Similarly, the Rockefeller education board, which funded the creation of numerous public
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schools issued a statement, which read in part.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:28.099)
So he's not actually reading a Rockefeller.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:30.359)
I was about to say that doesn't sound right.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:32.160)
Yeah, no, he's reading off like a conspiracy blog.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:36.079)
That's what he's doing.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:37.079)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:24:38.079)
That sites, or I should say miss sites, a Rockefeller adjacent.
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I just read Moby Dick.
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And now to quote a book report by somebody who didn't read Moby Dick, gotcha.
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So he talks a bit more about this here.
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He goes on and he has a passage from this Rockefeller document.
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Continues.
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Similarly, the Rockefeller education board, which funded the creation of numerous public
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schools issued a statement, which read in part.
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Now hold onto your hats.
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And I have read this from the report in our dreams.
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People yield themselves with perfect docility to our molding hands.
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The president educational conventions, intellectual and character education fade from our minds
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and unhampered by tradition.
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We work our own good will upon a grateful and responsive folk.
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We shall not try to make these people or any of their children into philosophers or men
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of learning or men of science.
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We hate, and it goes on, we have not to raise up from among us authors, educators, poets,
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or men of letters.
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We shall not search for the embryo of great artists, painters, musicians, nor lawyers,
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doctors, preachers, politicians, statements of whom we have ample sublime.
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The task we set before ourselves is very simple.
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We will organize children and teach them to do in a perfect way the things their fathers
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and mothers are doing in an imperfect way.
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Did you hear that?
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And then David Rockefeller, in another speech he gave paraphrased this and said, the public
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schools are helpless people yielding themselves to our molding hands.
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Molding hands.
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He just gave like a fucking four paragraph quote.
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And then his paraphrase is like, hey, public schools need help.
Unknown Speaker (00:26:32.640)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:26:33.640)
But also, that last part, not true.
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Not real.
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He was paraphrasing the thing that he had just said.
Unknown Speaker (00:26:41.319)
So that wasn't written by any Rockefeller, nor was it from a Rockefeller Brothers Foundation
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paper.
Unknown Speaker (00:26:47.000)
It's a quote that's found in a paper called The Country School of Tomorrow, written by
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Frederick T. Gates in 1913.
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Gates was the chair of the general election board, which John B. Rockefeller did donate
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to generously, but passing this off as a statement by the Rockefellers is kind of dishonest.
Unknown Speaker (00:27:03.839)
It's also a completely butchered quote with pieces removed in order to give it a completely
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different context than its original meaning.
Unknown Speaker (00:27:10.440)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:27:11.440)
I mean, the problem is that it didn't make sense at all.
Unknown Speaker (00:27:15.440)
Like I understand giving it a different context, but you removed anything that would make it
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mean anything in words.
Unknown Speaker (00:27:20.480)
Yeah.
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I feel like that's what happens.
Unknown Speaker (00:27:22.480)
You know?
Unknown Speaker (00:27:23.480)
Things make less sense when you take pieces out of them.
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When you remove meaning from words, they can mean whatever you want.
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Yeah.
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Alex and all conspiracy theorists present this quote as proof that the schools are designed
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to dumb people down, but they leave out one important point, which connects to the larger
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context and that is, this is about country schools in 1913.
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The problem that the text is- When the marm enters the room.
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The problem that the text is presenting is that the education that takes place in rural
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schools is disconnected from the concerns and real life experiences of the children
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in those schools.
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Observers visited schools and found some where everyone, quote, teacher and pupils alike
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were suffering from hookworm disease and even estimated that as many as 40 to 60% of the
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children had disabilities that would be easily preventable with the correct interventions.
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You should learn about hookworm then.
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Stop with the schooling.
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Just tweak the schooling a little.
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Start with hookworm and then move forward.
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Simultaneously, quote, the farm demonstrators of the general election board of which there
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are several hundred in the south, complete with a series of pictures of rural life in
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the more neglected sections of worn out soil, inefficient cultivation, scanty crop, abandoned
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field overgrown with bushes, deeply washed and gullied hillside, rotten orchard, sprawling
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fence, tumble down house with unkempt and littered surroundings.
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They liked lists back then.
Unknown Speaker (00:28:51.519)
Yeah, that was a hell of a sentence.
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This paper proposes that the state of affairs was not good for the state of agriculture
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nor for the people living in those communities and the educational system as it existed wasn't
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helping anyone.
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Thus, you have the passage where Gates says the stuff about, like, we will not try to
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make these people or any of their children into philosophers or men of learning or science.
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It's not about creating a school to make people dumb.
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Instead, quote, we are to try to make that life just where it is, healthful, intelligent,
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efficient, to fill it with thought and purpose and with the gracious social culture not without
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its joys.
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Right.
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Also, this sentence is literally always cut out of the quote when it's posted on conspiracy
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sites.
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Quote, with respect to these high things, all that we shall try to do is just to create
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presently about these country homes an atmosphere and conditions such that if by chance a child
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of genius should spring up from the soil, that genius will surely bud and not be blighted.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:54.279)
So it's not about making people dumb, it's about, like, give everyone a chance.
Unknown Speaker (00:29:57.980)
So this was written in 1913, right?
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Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:00.839)
Yeah, they were so bored they had to write like this.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:04.160)
Like they couldn't just be like, okay, we're going to teach them practical shit.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:07.319)
You heard that list.
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Do you think that was like a first draft or?
Unknown Speaker (00:30:10.240)
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:11.880)
See, but that's the thing.
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I can take out this part about the fence.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:14.960)
See, in the things that I didn't get a degree in, I learned that writing at that time, lists
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were really, really important and you only added onto them.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:23.799)
I don't know if you've ever read a book by Salinger.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:26.599)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:27.599)
That seems to be like that was a time when you got paid by the letter too, right?
Unknown Speaker (00:30:30.799)
You did.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:31.799)
You did get paid by the letter.
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You're not wrong.
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And L. Ron Hubbard made a religion out of that.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Good on him.
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It worked.
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I can't argue with the results.
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So anyway, Alex is lying about this stuff.
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He's just trying to bullshit about schools.
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And I think essentially the connective tissue is he's complaining about schools and how
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they make you dumb because more people know the Simpsons characters than the...
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Was that the connection?
Unknown Speaker (00:30:55.119)
We're still on the Simpsons?
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That's where it's sprawled from.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:57.440)
Yes.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:58.440)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:30:59.440)
All right.
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So because children in 1913 learned practical things and now we know Simpsons characters,
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no one will become a philosopher ever again.
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Here's a fun game.
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What's the most obscure Simpsons character you can name?
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This is impossible for me to judge, by the way.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:19.279)
I never watched much Simpsons.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:20.880)
You could just make up a name.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:22.839)
I don't even know what obscure means.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:25.279)
You should have gone to college.
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Oh shit.
Unknown Speaker (00:31:30.200)
To be fair, much like Side Show Bob, you walked into that rink.
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Absolutely.
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Happily.
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Yeah, I don't know.
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Side Show Bob.
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Who fucking cares?
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Nailed it.
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I mean, with Simpsons characters, it's like we've been together too long.
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That's true.
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I know it too well.
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It's like a brother that I don't want to see except for on holidays.
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Sure.
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So I think maybe after that lying about public schools, maybe we should cleanse our palette
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and hear another weird commercial.
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Here's another thing that Alex is hawking back in 2006.
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Months now, you've been hearing about the incredible health benefits of Zango, the functional
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health beverage made from the whole fruit of mangosteen.
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What you probably didn't know is that Zango joined forces with the leading manufacturer
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and distributor of functional health beverages like Capri Sun, Sobeys, Mystic, and Red Bull
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to create the fastest growing business opportunity in America today.
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Are you sick of barely having enough money?
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Are you tired of working so hard yet feeling like you're never going to help?
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Are you ready to start investing in your own business instead of somebody else's?
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Whatever it is you seek, Zango could be the special company that helps you achieve your
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hopes and dreams.
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So take matters into your own hands.
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Create a future that doesn't depend on a fickle 401k and lateral promotions.
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Zango is what you are looking for.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:49.279)
Yeah, I was confused by that commercial.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:51.680)
What does this business do?
Unknown Speaker (00:32:53.440)
Yeah, I thought I was getting juice at first and then it's a pyramid scheme.
Unknown Speaker (00:32:57.079)
What is going on?
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All right.
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We started with mangosteen.
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Then there is a conspiracy of people working together to destroy us.
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How did we get to 401ks?
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What's the journey there?
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Hey, are you tired of aspiring to have a 401k?
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That's what I thought.
Unknown Speaker (00:33:13.599)
Join my MLM.
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All of your problems will be solved with mangosteen?
Unknown Speaker (00:33:18.839)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:33:19.839)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:33:20.839)
So this was a company called Zango starting with an X.
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And there's a couple of fun things about this company.
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The first is that they at this point were making completely unsubstantiated health claims.
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And they would go on to get a cease and desist warning letter from the FDA about this just
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a few months later in September 2006.
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The list of claims they were making is actually pretty impressive.
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They were trying to pull this off.
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They claimed that their mangosteen drink could do everything from working as an antidepressant
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to preventing gum disease.
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It would lower your fever and also prevent cancer.
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It's honestly a little over the top even in the realm of products that are sold on Infowars.
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Their corporate structure is a huge mess too.
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A couple of years after this point in 2006, they would completely implode with lawsuits
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from investors making allegations of corporate looting where the founders just were siphoning
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off funds like a pyramid scheme.
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They claimed it could do everything.
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What did you think?
Unknown Speaker (00:34:21.920)
Yeah, I'm not going to try and like, if there's money, I'm going to get it for me.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:26.760)
I'm not going to leave it there in the company.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:28.559)
You don't understand the go away part of this transaction where I am going to go away.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:33.880)
It's dangerous for that money to be sitting there because this business could implode
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at any moment.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:38.360)
Listen, you've got so many health problems, I can see that I need to keep this money away
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from you.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:42.480)
You'll get it sick.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:43.480)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:34:44.480)
So Alex is trying to like get his audience into a mangosteen MLM.
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A lot of really helpful ads is what I'm saying on this episode.
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Again, I was looking for Texas Independence Day and I got weird commercials, mostly.
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I'm confused.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:04.760)
What did Texas declare independence from exactly?
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From your shit?
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Oh boy, I am even annoyed with myself.
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I like that you've come out of your shell and become more annoying than me.
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What was it?
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Like, uh, was it Mexico?
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Spain?
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France?
Unknown Speaker (00:35:38.599)
It has to have been Mexico, right?
Unknown Speaker (00:35:39.599)
Sure.
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Cause they stole it.
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Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:35:42.599)
We wouldn't know if Alex talked about it, but he didn't.
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It would be a little bit different if they called it, we own your shit day.
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That would change the context.
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It's a potato, potato.
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So there's some secret documents that Alex is going to be reporting on and this is exciting
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and then gets really dark.
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A former dissident who was in prison in Soviet gulags for a total of 12 years has warned
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that he personally saw secret documents in 92, which outlined a conspiracy to turn European
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union into a socialist dictatorship.
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Well, look what they're trying to do right now.
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In a speech in Brussels, 63 year old Vladimir Bovatsky described the contents of the still
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classified Polterburo and central committee documents.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:28.440)
Sorry, what?
Unknown Speaker (00:36:29.440)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:30.440)
It's kind of worrying that Alex doesn't know the word Pol-it-buro.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:32.440)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:33.440)
Did he say Pol-tah-buro?
Unknown Speaker (00:36:34.440)
Yup.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:35.440)
Yes, he did.
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He seems confused.
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First off, I want to eat a Pol-tah-buro.
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Right now I just got hungry.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:44.880)
Yeah.
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Get it spicy.
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And I don't know what it is.
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I mean, look, there's a lot of words I don't know.
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Plenty of them.
Unknown Speaker (00:36:54.039)
I mean, but even if you've never heard, it's even, okay, so it's a word that Pol-it-buro
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is a word that even if you've never heard someone say before, you still won't go Pol-tah-buro.
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You can if you're cold reading.
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You cannot do that.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:07.599)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:08.599)
If you're just like.
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All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:10.599)
Fair.
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But also Alex claims to be like the world's foremost expert on communism.
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And a great cold reader.
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Yeah.
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Also, this guy's name is Vladimir Bokovsky, not Blavatsky.
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We all know who Blavatsky belongs to.
Unknown Speaker (00:37:24.760)
Well, that's the theosophist folks.
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Oh, now I'm confused.
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But see, Blavatsky in Bokovsky is an easy mistake to make when you're cold reading,
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but if you're someone like Alex who claims to be an expert on the evils of the Soviet
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Union, you should know who this dude is.
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He was a major dissident voice and a big part of the anti-Soviet Union community throughout
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the years.
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He claimed that he was shown these documents in 1992 when he was an expert witness against
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the Soviet Union.
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This has never been corroborated and is almost certainly made up.
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It's particularly damning that he's coming out with these allegations now at this point
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in time, considering two years prior he'd written a pamphlet titled the EUSSR and he
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didn't include this juicy tidbit then.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:06.000)
Oh, that's unfortunate.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:07.000)
Kind of seems like it would have helped his argument at that point.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:09.840)
Yeah, it's always trouble whenever four years after an event happened, you're like, I totally
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saw it coming.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:17.679)
Oh.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:18.679)
Also, in 2015, Bokovsky was arrested in the UK for possession of child exploitation material.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:25.000)
Well, well, come on.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:28.920)
One story doesn't end there.
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Yep, yep, yep.
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I told you, not great, dark.
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He had been gathering stuff between 1999 and 2014 and he, quote, said, in essence, he didn't
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see what harm he was doing.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:45.400)
This guy sucks.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:47.719)
Yep.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:48.719)
Yep.
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He died before he was able to stand trial.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:53.920)
So it's sort of a small victory, I mean, you know.
Unknown Speaker (00:38:59.679)
So let's move along from that, because now that I've said it, I almost feel like I shouldn't
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have.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:07.539)
So let's get back to commerce.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:09.880)
In the past, I feel like in front of a crowd, my transition game might not be as strong.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:21.079)
You know, it may make you feel, for some reason, like all of these years where I've said, that's
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a great transition.
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Alone, alone in my room, my transitions are growing.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:35.000)
It's great, no, no, no.
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So anyway, back in the past, Alex always used to have his water filter sponsor on, pretty
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much every day, and Texas Independence Day is no exception.
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Got some new specials and new Berkeys out.
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Tell us about those different units and what they do and why folks need them.
Unknown Speaker (00:39:51.599)
Well, we have the new travel Berkey, which I think is really, really a good product,
Unknown Speaker (00:40:00.119)
because it's a smaller Berkey than the big Berkey, it only holds a gallon and a half,
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it's made out of stainless steel, it's available everywhere except Iowa, and you can hold two
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black Berkey purification elements in it.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:19.559)
That always struck me as weird, because I've heard her say that a lot.
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It's everywhere but Iowa.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:24.760)
What is it about Iowa that makes this particular Berkey unacceptable?
Unknown Speaker (00:40:29.880)
Well, it's actually all Berkeys.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:32.280)
All Berkeys are, what?
Unknown Speaker (00:40:34.599)
In Iowa, no Berkeys.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:36.360)
Iowa is staunchly anti-Berkey.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:38.039)
Did they?
Unknown Speaker (00:40:39.039)
Okay, okay, let me throw this out to you, let me throw this out.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:42.199)
Berkey has a war hump.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:44.000)
Listen, I know a lot about Iowa and I know what they outlaw.
Unknown Speaker (00:40:46.960)
Are you sure they didn't misunderstand how to spell Berke?
Unknown Speaker (00:40:50.480)
Oh, I'm not positive, but I can tell you what the situation is for the water filter.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:01.920)
So Iowa is the only state in the United States that does not allow third party testing of
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claims made about water filter efficacy.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:10.960)
That's actually great, right?
Unknown Speaker (00:41:12.559)
Isn't that good?
Unknown Speaker (00:41:13.980)
I mean for other states.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:15.800)
On the other side, wait, third party meaning neutral, or third party meaning like the company
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is-
Unknown Speaker (00:41:22.199)
They can hire somebody to do it.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:23.199)
Yes, yes, yes.
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So it's good for Iowa to not allow that shit.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:25.840)
No.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:26.840)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:27.840)
No.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:28.840)
They allow you to put a water filter on the market if you just buy somebody to do the
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testing for you.
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Whereas every other state requires an independent certification.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:36.960)
Oh, okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:37.960)
Oh, well then, yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:38.960)
What?
Unknown Speaker (00:41:39.960)
What the fuck is wrong with Iowa?
Unknown Speaker (00:41:42.800)
Wait, no, I feel like you might be misunderstanding.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:47.239)
Iowa has a higher standard.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:48.239)
I don't understand.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:50.239)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:51.239)
So pretty much every other brand of water filter has this certification.
Unknown Speaker (00:41:58.559)
That's the NSF ANSI certification, and it is the mark of quality.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:03.880)
So if you're in the market and any other... Wait, hold on.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:10.639)
I was confused.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:11.639)
Wait.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:12.639)
Wait, hold on.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:13.639)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:14.639)
Now we're going back and forth.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:15.639)
I was taking it out on you, and I was the one who was wrong.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:16.840)
See, that's what I thought.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:18.840)
But then now I don't even know.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:20.360)
I don't either.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:21.360)
I can't trust you.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:22.559)
Should we put it to a crowd vote?
Unknown Speaker (00:42:26.480)
Am I wrong?
Unknown Speaker (00:42:29.920)
That didn't work.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:32.360)
Look, here's the bottom line.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:36.360)
Yes.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:37.360)
Berkey water filters do not have this independent certification, and therefore they're not allowed
Unknown Speaker (00:42:41.880)
to be sold in Iowa.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:42.880)
That's what's important.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:43.880)
They can sell them in every other state.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:44.880)
They can't sell them in Iowa.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:45.960)
That's the bottom line.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:46.960)
We've established the thing that we knew five minutes before this whole thing started.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:50.920)
You bet.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:51.920)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:42:52.920)
In 2002, the New York Times Wirecutter did an analysis of Berkey filtration systems,
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and they found that they were very effective at removing lead from water, and that was
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a strong indication that they would do the same with other heavy metals.
Unknown Speaker (00:43:04.239)
That's great.
Unknown Speaker (00:43:05.239)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:43:06.239)
However, they removed way less chloroform than Berkey claimed they did, which calls
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into question how good the filters are at removing organic material in the water.
Unknown Speaker (00:43:15.000)
Or if they had other intentions for the installers of these water filters.
Unknown Speaker (00:43:20.880)
I don't think the testing for the New York Times was a prank.
Unknown Speaker (00:43:23.880)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:43:24.880)
Well, that's fair.
Unknown Speaker (00:43:25.880)
So their test for the New York Times showed a 13% drop in chloroform after filtration
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compared to a 99.8% decrease that's advertised by Berkey.
Unknown Speaker (00:43:34.800)
What did they do?
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So the Times compared their findings with other available results from lab tests with
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Berkey's and found that the numbers were all over the place, and none of the tests performed
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even came close to the rigor that's required for that full certification, which is a cause
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for concern.
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It's unclear from any available information, but the inconsistency definitely makes a person
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think that maybe Berkey knows that they could not pass that certification requirement, so
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they just decide to say, fuck it, we're not going to sell anything in Iowa.
Unknown Speaker (00:44:05.159)
I appreciate that.
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It's not a terrible plan, honestly.
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Their target customers are all people who hate the government.
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I mean, adjust your expectations accordingly is a fair business strategy.
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Sure, sure.
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You have all these people who are anti-regulation.
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It's like, oh, this isn't certified.
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Who gives a shit?
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Yeah, I can sell them all kinds of bullshit.
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Yeah.
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They don't want to know if it's evil.
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Yeah.
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How many people are going to be buying their water filters in Iowa anyway?
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Two?
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I don't know.
Unknown Speaker (00:44:31.519)
I know nothing about the water filter market.
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They're also too big for most countertops.
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They're supposed to be countertop water filters.
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They're 19 inches tall and the standard countertop is 18 inches.
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There's a lot of-
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Pretty fucking tall.
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I don't even want to read some of these because they involve like slime buildup and what have
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you.
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Slime buildup?
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I have some bad reviews of Berkey water filters that I have decided to go ahead and punt on.
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Yeah, the other day these turtles suddenly became fucking ninjas.
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The secret of the ooze, it turns out-
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That's what it was about.
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Is the big Berkey.
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You might be onto something.
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So Jordan, we heard earlier in the episode, Alex said that he was going to take some calls
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and it's always nice when we go to the calls and we hear a friend.
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Oh, is Dan from Illinois up here?
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No.
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Oh.
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Old man house phone?
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Sorry.
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I need to leave if you're already there.
Unknown Speaker (00:45:40.000)
I'm sorry to disappoint.
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It is not old man house phone, but it is a man that you have recently dubbed Louisiana
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dentures.
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Oh, Louisiana dentures is back.
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All right.
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And I can confirm that his name is Charles.
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Oh, okay.
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I don't want to mention no names, but I got four phone calls this morning, one by a retired
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policeman on another program, they're saying on a defense department of defense that this
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month they're supposed to go into Marshall or some cities or all the cities.
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I'm not sure I didn't get on it that they're going to shut it down.
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George Bush has got a lot of heat on him right now and he's got to do something because they
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are made here in Louisiana.
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They really mad.
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They're really upset about this tape out.
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They really are upset.
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I'll be getting phone calls all morning.
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And another thing, what happened to this $85 million?
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I think it's 85 million that George Bush senior and Clinton collected for the storm.
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Nobody has gotten nothing.
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Sure.
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The UN is given almost none of the money they got.
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They're about the crooks.
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Yes, sir.
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Well, do you think that it's possible that this month here they will shut the United
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States down?
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Well they've been saying for six months that they were going in in late March to strike
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on Iran on election day.
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What is it, the 27th or 28th in Israel?
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Yeah.
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Look, I don't know.
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They said they were going to go into Iraq in 2002 of March.
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They went in in 03.
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So I don't know, sir.
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I mean, certainly the preparations have been made.
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I don't think they're far enough along.
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I almost want to give them a round of applause for saying I don't think they're going to
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do martial law this month.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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That takes restraint.
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What a very specific level of restraint though.
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Not this month, dude.
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Yeah.
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They're not ready.
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Come on.
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Not enough plans.
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Come on.
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What are you talking about?
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What month are we in?
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We're in March.
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The global history.
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You start martial law in June.
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Right.
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June.
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Summer months.
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People want to be inside in the AC anyway.
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It's a summer of rage.
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It's a summer of lockdowns.
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Right.
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It's a summer of all of these things.
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I do love the way that Charles from Louisiana says storm.
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I like how he's very noncommittal about some or all cities will be under martial law.
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All cities would be tough.
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There is a huge gap between some or all cities.
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Some could be two.
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Yeah.
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Wait, wait, wait.
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So, okay.
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So, is Minneapolis shut down, but St. Paul is fine?
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Uh-huh.
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Yeah.
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St. Paul becomes the globalist base camp.
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Right.
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Right.
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To enslave Minneapolis.
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Right.
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Fuck knows what happens to the Quad Cities.
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Two of them, globalist base camp.
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The other two.
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They have to fight each other to the death.
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It's a game theory thing.
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It's a whole mess.
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Right.
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But who?
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Quad City DJs.
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Damn it.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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Two claps.
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Exactly correct for the Quad City DJs.
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I do appreciate the enthusiastic clap of somebody who got it, followed by the slower, less committed
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clap of people who are like, maybe I should have gotten it.
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Or I have been emboldened by the first person clapping.
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Exactly.
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Yes.
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I wasn't going to say anything.
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What a great genre of music that was, though.
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Them and the 69 boys.
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What fun.
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Oh, boy.
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69 boys with a Z.
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So you know it's good.
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Yep.
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So, good news, bad news.
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I got to move quicker so everybody can get on.
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I'm going to take five calls right now.
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Oh, shit.
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As fast as I can.
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I'm going to get back in the news.
Unknown Speaker (00:49:11.280)
Thank you, man.
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And Ron Paul's floating next hour.
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He's in a meeting with a general right now, with his liberty committee, and they had to
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move it back.
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But he said for some time in the next hour, and 90% of the time he joins us on the day,
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he says he will.
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But he's in DC right now in some committee meeting with the military.
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So as soon as he comes out of that meeting in the next hour, he's scheduled to join us.
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Yes, Ron Paul's in the wind.
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We might not be getting anything from that old racist after all.
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Listen, I understand that he was a Congress person.
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Yeah, sure.
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But he genuinely had that power.
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But there's a hard...
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In my mind, Ron Paul meeting with a general is like, what if we killed them all?
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That's all I hear.
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It's opposite Smedley Butler.
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In my head, it's not like, oh, what's a good op sec?
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I don't get any of that.
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I hear meeting with a general and I say, whoopty shit.
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I don't know how often people in the government meet with a general, probably often.
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Does it help or hurt?
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What does a general do at a meeting?
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Tells you the lay of the land.
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Look, I think that it's very funny.
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It's very funny for Alex to say Ron Paul is in a meeting with the military.
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He's in a meeting with the military.
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Because that sounds like what a child says.
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Yes, it does.
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I'm going to meet with the military.
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All right.
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I will become king of the military.
Unknown Speaker (00:50:44.480)
Sure you will, little Alex.
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Yeah, I think you will.
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So anyway, Ron Paul may or may not show up.
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But in the meantime, we have another commercial.
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Do you know the truth about breast cancer?
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Did you know that the race for the cure is over?
Unknown Speaker (00:51:01.039)
The best kept secret in the country today is that it is now possible to kill cancer
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without personal suffering, mutilation and poisoning of your entire system.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:09.159)
Now it's cancer's turn to die with Lays Med Inc's patented methodology.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:13.539)
Without cutting, bleeding, drugs or damaging radiation, we can destroy tumors of any size
Unknown Speaker (00:51:19.039)
without adverse side effects at a physician's office.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:21.960)
Star Wars technology at its best.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:23.880)
For more information, call 702-953-0267, that's 702-953-0267.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:34.119)
Or visit www.laysmedinc.com Something doesn't sound right about this.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:40.280)
This isn't the cancer you're looking for.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:43.880)
Was that technology?
Unknown Speaker (00:51:44.880)
I guess maybe it was.
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Star Wars technology.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:47.559)
Based on...
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So I assume that they're going to put you in a bacta tank.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:51.719)
Uh-huh.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:52.719)
Yep.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:53.719)
All right.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:54.719)
They're gonna make you drink blue milk.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:55.719)
And then you'll wear the thing and you'll do the, okay, all right.
Unknown Speaker (00:51:58.500)
So I mean, wow, look, we have not had cancer since 2006 and...
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I have one problem.
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Just one?
Unknown Speaker (00:52:09.119)
There's a lot of things and that is if somebody says, we can cure your cancer and you don't
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have to do anything, it's just not good.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:17.360)
We got magic.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:19.360)
Hey, you walk in, we cure your cancer, you get out.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:22.719)
Also, Big Macs are free.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:24.519)
Whoa.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:25.519)
That's the sketchiest fucking commercial I've ever heard.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:29.719)
So that was an ad for Lays Med Inc, which is a company that pushes a treatment they
Unknown Speaker (00:52:34.239)
developed called Laysh Therapy.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:36.440)
It's spelled L-I-E-S-H and it's all abbreviated like all capital letters, all dots.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:42.360)
It stands for Light Induced Enhanced Selective Hyperthermia.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:46.599)
And I'm not sure what that means precisely, but I can tell you that it's fraudulent.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:50.239)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:51.239)
So read that one more time for me.
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Light Induced Enhanced Selective Hyperthermia.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:56.880)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:52:57.960)
So that means that light induces a selective hyperthermia.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:05.000)
So it's heat.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:06.000)
So it means that you are going to feel, it's not even heat.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:10.119)
You're just going to feel a temperature, a lot.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:13.360)
And a laser is going to do it.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:14.360)
So it could be like, oh man, you're going to feel the shit out of this 65 degrees.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:18.679)
It is so temperate in here.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:21.760)
Oh shit.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:25.679)
Light induced hyperthermia.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:27.679)
Yes.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:28.679)
So they put you in a sun lamp.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:31.679)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:32.679)
They put you in a tanning bed.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:33.679)
Well, not really.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:34.679)
That's what it is.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:35.679)
It's a tanning bed.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:38.079)
You might be too generous.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:39.480)
That's fair.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:40.480)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:41.480)
It's a tanning bed that they can't afford to turn the lights on.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:43.679)
Because a tanning bed, you come out with a tan.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:45.920)
Yes.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:46.920)
That's fair.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:47.920)
It does something.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:48.920)
In this one, you come out with cancer.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:49.920)
Yes.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:50.920)
Still.
Unknown Speaker (00:53:51.920)
Lays Med, Inc. was owned by a woman named Antonella Carpenter, who was found guilty
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of 29 charges involving defrauding cancer patients who she claimed she could cure, resulting
Unknown Speaker (00:54:02.199)
in her getting five years probation and $1.1 million she had to pay in restitution.
Unknown Speaker (00:54:08.639)
Has anybody ever noticed how, for a lot of these characters, Dan has a habit of putting
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a comma right before, was found guilty for, the founder of said blah, blah, blah comma
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was found guilty for.
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It's a lot easier to tell the tales of these horrible people when we're alone in a room
Unknown Speaker (00:54:28.760)
because there's not the very understandable groans and no.
Unknown Speaker (00:54:36.079)
She was also successfully sued in civil court with a jury awarding the family of one of
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her victims $2.5 million.
Unknown Speaker (00:54:44.960)
Carpenter told these suffering people that her treatment was 100% effective with no side
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effects, which of course was bullshit.
Unknown Speaker (00:54:51.599)
What she actually did was inject their tissue with a, quote, mixture of saline solution
Unknown Speaker (00:54:56.199)
and dye composed of either ordinary food coloring or walnut hull extract.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:01.480)
Was that a quote from her or from someone else?
Unknown Speaker (00:55:05.320)
From the lawsuit.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:06.320)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:07.320)
Was it a quote from her?
Unknown Speaker (00:55:08.320)
No.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:09.320)
Like, here's what I got for you, baby.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:10.320)
No.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:11.320)
She would then heat the tissue with a laser and then boom, they're cured.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:16.920)
She would discourage patients from seeing other doctors for examination after their
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treatment, which that should raise some red flags, I think.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:23.119)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:24.119)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:25.119)
So I get it.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:26.119)
It lights up under the...
Unknown Speaker (00:55:27.960)
So when you...
Unknown Speaker (00:55:28.960)
No, because it's injected.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:29.960)
It just looks...
Unknown Speaker (00:55:30.960)
No, no, no.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:31.960)
But you get injected with the dye, right?
Unknown Speaker (00:55:32.960)
And then you put it under the light and then you see a thing and you're like, oh, I'm healed
Unknown Speaker (00:55:36.079)
as fuck.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:37.079)
Maybe.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:38.079)
That's got to be it.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:39.079)
No, because I'm imagining she just has the vials of the liquid and because it has food
Unknown Speaker (00:55:42.280)
coloring in it, it looks like it's something other than a saline solution.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:47.099)
I'm imagining a whole psychodrama where somebody comes in and they're like, I need another
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hit.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:52.719)
And I'm like, no, you don't take this if you don't give me what I want and it smashes it
Unknown Speaker (00:55:56.519)
on the ground.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:57.519)
No.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:58.519)
No.
Unknown Speaker (00:55:59.519)
So any negative experiences that the patients had after the treatment, like pain or other
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effects of untreated cancer, were explained away as the body, quote, ridding itself of
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cancerous tissue in a natural and normal way.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:12.119)
Such a good...
Unknown Speaker (00:56:13.119)
100% effective rate.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:14.119)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:15.119)
She told these people that the treatment she performed had worked and that they were cancer
Unknown Speaker (00:56:18.519)
free.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:19.519)
She's awful.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:21.239)
Carpenters non-treatment has led to at least one death, that of Cindy Babeka, who sought
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treatment for breast cancer and continued to get worse as Carpenter took her money and
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provided fake medical care.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:31.760)
It's hard to precisely pin down how many other people that could have been hurt or killed,
Unknown Speaker (00:56:36.639)
partially thanks to this fraudulent scheme.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:39.380)
People who are diagnosed with cancer are often scared.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:42.480)
Oncologists aren't the types to throw around false hope.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:44.980)
So if you get a diagnosis and it doesn't look good, it only makes sense that you'd be thrilled
Unknown Speaker (00:56:49.000)
to hear any confident voice that's like, hey, I got the solution for you.
Unknown Speaker (00:56:52.920)
It's one of the lowest things people can do to each other to exploit another person's
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pain and desperation, which seems like the only explanation for what she's up to.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:01.480)
Do you know what I think of?
Unknown Speaker (00:57:02.519)
I think of immediately Daria.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:06.519)
That's the type of psychopath this is where I bet if you scratched her, she'd be like,
Unknown Speaker (00:57:12.199)
isn't it better for these people to believe that they're cured?
Unknown Speaker (00:57:15.800)
I mean, it's in line with her logic.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:17.559)
I mean, it really does seem like there's a good psychopath test there.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:22.239)
Like John Ronson can go fuck himself with all that other bullshit.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:25.519)
Just like, is Daria a psychopath?
Unknown Speaker (00:57:27.380)
If you think no, then you're a psychopath.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:31.400)
I look forward to reading your transcript.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:33.119)
It's going to be a short book.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:34.119)
It's going to be a short book.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:37.699)
So Alex is taking money to promote this woman to his audience.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:41.199)
And I think there's only two things that can come from airing a commercial like this.
Unknown Speaker (00:57:44.639)
One, people with severe cancer get funneled towards Lays Med, Inc.
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People scam a few grand off them while providing fake hope and colored water injections.
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Or two, people with treatable cancers don't go to get appropriate care and choose something
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like colored water injections, leaving them far more vulnerable to die.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:02.840)
And Alex is taking money for doing that.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:05.920)
Why would you run that commercial?
Unknown Speaker (00:58:07.719)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:08.719)
When I was a hearing aid specialist, I had a woman come in one time who was like, actually,
Unknown Speaker (00:58:15.880)
I can't hang out today.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:17.039)
My daughter and I both have Lyme disease.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:19.400)
So we're flying to Florida to see this homeopathic doctor.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:23.760)
And I want, like, what do you do?
Unknown Speaker (00:58:26.199)
You know, like at that point, like I'm theoretically supposed to be an authority in some fashion.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:31.199)
What do I just, no!
Unknown Speaker (00:58:34.599)
Like what do I do?
Unknown Speaker (00:58:35.599)
Just like, oh, let me explain why homeopathy is stupid.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:38.599)
They have Lyme.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:39.599)
Like what do I, what do you, you just go, sorry.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:44.440)
So that's a bad commercial.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:46.440)
It's a bad commercial.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:49.320)
I think we, I think we've seen a number of like profiting off like tragedy.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:54.480)
It's a nightmare so far.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:55.880)
The best commercial is the guy who wants to fuck his car.
Unknown Speaker (00:58:59.360)
That was a great one.
Unknown Speaker (00:59:01.119)
I've warmed up to the Ford Focus trying to kill itself to exploit my love.
Unknown Speaker (00:59:06.079)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:59:07.079)
And in the beginning everyone was like, oh, that's so fucked up.
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Now it's like, that's a perfectly normal commercial.
Unknown Speaker (00:59:11.800)
So great.
Unknown Speaker (00:59:12.800)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (00:59:13.800)
So great.
Unknown Speaker (00:59:14.800)
So I don't know if Alex is listening to his own show for the first time, but I found this
Unknown Speaker (00:59:18.199)
moment incredibly bizarre because this is exactly, I guess what he should be saying.
Unknown Speaker (00:59:24.920)
Before I go back to your calls, let me just say this.
Unknown Speaker (00:59:29.199)
If you hear my voice endorsing a product on this radio show, that means I believe in it.
Unknown Speaker (00:59:35.400)
Don't do this.
Unknown Speaker (00:59:36.639)
I don't want people to get in trouble when they hear some of the folks saying, we've
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got get out of debt systems that are a hundred percent bulletproof.
Unknown Speaker (00:59:44.119)
I don't know if that's the case.
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I'm just saying I don't endorse that and I don't just sell any magic products that are
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sure to cure you of this or sure to cure you of that.
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I don't want you to believe that may not be the case.
Unknown Speaker (00:59:55.000)
Something bad happened to you and I morally can't have to say this and you hear it all
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over talk radio.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:00.719)
I'm not blaming anybody here.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:02.519)
It's just that's the way the society is and I'm just separating myself from it right here
Unknown Speaker (01:00:07.400)
on air.
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When I talk about real made in America, water filters that are top of the line industry
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standards.
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Water's full of poison.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:15.599)
You need to go.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:16.599)
I've arrived in Iowa.
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There we go.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:18.599)
There we go.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:19.599)
That is so fascinating because I'm listening to this episode and I'm hearing like, what
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the fuck are these commercials?
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This is a tragedy.
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And then Alex out of nowhere is like, Hey, look, these commercials are fucked up.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:30.760)
No.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:31.760)
I got a distance.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:32.760)
No, no, no.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:33.760)
I'm not going to give you magic products.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:36.400)
Anyways, these water filters that don't do what I say they do buy that shit.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:42.280)
These things that are advertised on the network, that is my primary sponsor and money trickles
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down to me through the payment for my airtime.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:50.679)
I don't endorse these things.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:53.079)
These things are nutty.
Unknown Speaker (01:00:54.719)
Why don't you get Ted Anderson on the phone and tell him not play the fake cancer ad.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:01.639)
It seems like he has that kind of pull, right?
Unknown Speaker (01:01:05.000)
All Info Awards ads should be limerick based.
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That is my true belief.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:09.199)
I agree.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:10.199)
In all things.
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If you can't turn it into a limerick, it doesn't go on Info Awards.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:15.239)
And it's gotta be dirty.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:16.239)
It's gotta be dirty.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:17.440)
There was a Cal-Bend soap commercial on this episode, but it did not involve limericks.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:22.659)
So yeah.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:23.659)
Well then who fucking cares?
Unknown Speaker (01:01:25.199)
Cutting room floor.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:26.639)
He doesn't get to be in the show if you don't do a limerick.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:29.079)
No, it wasn't Marty Schachter.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:30.079)
It wasn't the guy.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:31.079)
It was Alex.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:32.079)
Gotcha.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:33.079)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:34.079)
He wasn't being forced into that situation.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:36.039)
So Alex, he has this standard now that he's established and that is that if he's reading
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this, then he believes in it and he is endorsing it.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:44.199)
Well, here's a little commercial.
Unknown Speaker (01:01:49.420)
It's not Alex reading it, but it's technically Alex's boss reading it.
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Which is weird.
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Folks, this is Ted Anderson.
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You've all heard me on the radio talking about the importance of investing in precious metals.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:02.360)
I feel it's time for me to talk about the importance of investing in your health.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:06.239)
I was presented with the opportunity to try Trivibes from TriVortex.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:10.159)
I was a bit hesitant of the idea of absorbing vitamins by wearing them rather than ingesting
Unknown Speaker (01:02:15.079)
them.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:16.079)
I'm sorry, what?
Unknown Speaker (01:02:17.079)
I'm sorry, what?
Unknown Speaker (01:02:18.079)
I was convinced that the product might actually work.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:21.440)
I now wear my TriVibes bands daily and I'm feeling better than ever.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:25.719)
Not only physically, but also mentally.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:28.159)
TriVortex also offers amazingly beneficial and beautiful jewelry worn by the women around
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the office daily.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:33.920)
TriVortex is amazing.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:34.920)
No, no, you're absorbing the chair.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:36.920)
Try TriVortex yourself and have fun and learn with the test found on TriVortex.com.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:44.400)
So TriVortex, huh?
Unknown Speaker (01:02:46.119)
TriVortex.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:47.119)
Wait, okay.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:48.119)
What?
Unknown Speaker (01:02:49.119)
Shouldn't they tell you what vitamins you are wearing though?
Unknown Speaker (01:02:55.000)
I would like to know.
Unknown Speaker (01:02:56.000)
Like right now?
Unknown Speaker (01:02:57.000)
No, I mean, they're going to, okay, I'm going to wear some vitamins.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:00.239)
What vitamin?
Unknown Speaker (01:03:01.239)
B12.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:02.239)
Am I going to wear vitamin D?
Unknown Speaker (01:03:03.239)
What are we talking about?
Unknown Speaker (01:03:04.239)
These are the questions you answer on the credit card page.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:07.760)
That's how they get you.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:10.039)
That's how they get you.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:11.119)
So TriVortex is a company scam that's run by this guy named Brian Anderson.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:17.639)
This website is amazing.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:19.119)
There's a bunch of magical bullshit on there.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:21.519)
He sells these discs that you can put drinks on like a coaster.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:25.079)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:26.079)
You can't sell cures and discs.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:28.199)
It's a disc that you put a drink on and it's like metal or something and it magically makes
Unknown Speaker (01:03:33.159)
the contents taste better.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:34.480)
No, you can't do that.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:35.880)
No, you can't sell vitamins you wear and discs that make your shit taste better.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:41.199)
That's not how it works.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:42.340)
Do you want to hear the beginning of one of the testimonials for the discs?
Unknown Speaker (01:03:47.119)
Of course.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:48.119)
I love your products and so far I'm impressed with how real they are.
Unknown Speaker (01:03:54.639)
And I definitely didn't write this, the owner of the company.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:01.920)
The discs have eight testimonials and there's two of them that are like, there's one that's
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by name X and then there's a second-
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Name X.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:13.320)
No, no.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:14.320)
I don't remember what the name is.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:15.320)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:16.320)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:17.320)
So the same person wrote two testimonials-
Unknown Speaker (01:04:19.039)
Of course.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:20.039)
For the same product.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:21.039)
It's very sketchy.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:22.039)
No, no, no.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:23.039)
It's very normal.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:24.039)
It's definitely not the guy who owns the product losing track of his own.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:28.599)
So not only do they make liquids taste better, but they also heal body pain and they make
Unknown Speaker (01:04:33.639)
cold body parts warm and cool down body parts that are too hot.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:37.519)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:38.519)
I don't understand.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:39.519)
Stop it makes liquids taste better.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:41.719)
Everybody's fine with that.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:42.719)
No, it's magic.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:43.900)
Everybody's fine with that.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:44.900)
It doesn't also have to cure cancer.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:46.340)
They also seal wounds.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:48.079)
Oh, well actually I'm back in.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:51.159)
Here is another very real customer's testimony.
Unknown Speaker (01:04:54.480)
Quote, I went in to get my haircut last month and my stylist had just cut her finger while
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clipping hair on the previous customer.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:02.559)
She sliced a portion of her skin off rather than the stabbing type of cut and it wouldn't
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quit bleeding.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:08.440)
She had gone through several bandages without a veil.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:11.280)
When I realized what had happened, I found the stainless steel plate in my purse and
Unknown Speaker (01:05:14.880)
told her to hold it on the bandage for three minutes.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:19.820)
She did this without question and the bleeding stopped immediately.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:22.880)
I mean, she was quite impressed.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:25.400)
I mean, you know, I was, I was all ready to be like, Oh, this is clearly a fake review.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:31.900)
And then after it was like somebody who put a disc on a wound for three minutes and then
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it stopped bleeding, it's like, that would have happened with anything you put on that
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wound.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:41.639)
I mean, it's really just applying pressure.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:42.639)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you could have put, you could have put a doorstop on that wound.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:46.679)
Magic doorstop.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:47.679)
Still would have stopped bleeding.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:50.440)
I think it's a fake review because of the part where he describes that it's not a stabbing
Unknown Speaker (01:05:54.519)
type of cut.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:55.519)
Yeah, that one's definitely, that one's definitely like-
Unknown Speaker (01:05:56.519)
Getting a little too specific about the type of cut.
Unknown Speaker (01:05:58.559)
Listen, I've gotten a couple of people who emailed me saying that they're worried that
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it's a stabbing type pain.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:04.559)
So I'm just going to put this out there.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:06.159)
So they also have like a pouch that you wear around your neck that has like herbs in it.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:12.559)
And then you absorb them through this magical amulet.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:15.440)
That's how it works.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:16.440)
That's how it works.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:17.440)
And there's jewelry that you can get herbs in.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:18.440)
Oh God, it's so cool.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:19.440)
I hate how much people who hate witches sell witch shit.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:23.679)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:24.679)
That's one of the things that makes me so mad.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:27.760)
Preach.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:28.760)
I do not get a pause, right?
Unknown Speaker (01:06:35.519)
Burn the witches, but let's sell the things we find in their homes.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:38.360)
Listen, they don't have bad ideas.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:40.199)
Right, right, right.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:41.199)
They're just women.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:42.199)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:43.199)
Full stop.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:44.199)
Oh, so unfortunately, folks, we have only one last clip.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:51.639)
Oh no.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:52.639)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:53.639)
Holy shit.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:54.639)
How long have we been doing this for?
Unknown Speaker (01:06:55.639)
About an hour and 10, hour and 15.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:57.639)
Hour and 10?
Unknown Speaker (01:06:58.639)
Jesus.
Unknown Speaker (01:06:59.639)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:00.639)
I know you think you want that.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:05.320)
Listen, here's what's great about our three hour episodes.
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Two commutes, not one commute.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:13.360)
And you can listen to them at your leisure instead of sitting in a chair.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:16.880)
Listen to half on the way to work, listen to half on the way back.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:21.480)
Look, I would love if this was a six hour episode.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:24.480)
Don't get me wrong.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:25.480)
Actually, I wouldn't.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:26.480)
I'm sweating quite a bit already.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:28.679)
That was a good bluff though.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:29.679)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:30.679)
You shouldn't have given up on it immediately.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:33.000)
I've got a full house.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:34.000)
No, I don't.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:35.000)
Nah, I got shit.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:36.000)
I had a pair of tunes.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:37.519)
You win.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:38.519)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:39.519)
One time, I was playing poker with a buddy of mine and I had a pair of twos.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:43.559)
And I love the twos.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:45.559)
The doofs.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:46.559)
Sure.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:47.559)
Loved it.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:48.559)
Two twos.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:49.559)
It's science.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:50.559)
Well, even if I have one, I like it because it's funny if you beat someone with twos.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:53.480)
So he had a pair of Kings.
Unknown Speaker (01:07:55.199)
I go all in.
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He calls and he's like, what, do you have three of a kind?
Unknown Speaker (01:07:59.519)
And I flip over my twos and I say, not yet.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:01.960)
And then the next card is a two.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:04.139)
And he threw, just threw the table.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:06.639)
You're so mad at me.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:10.980)
You know, there's, there's always that.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:12.599)
So I recently...
Unknown Speaker (01:08:14.400)
It's one of the only times my like cocky response like that has ever materialized into it.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:19.399)
No, no, no, no.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:20.399)
I, there's, I, I, for a short period of time, I got weirdly into closeup magic on YouTube.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:25.199)
Like I spent like three days just being like, oh shit, how did they do that?
Unknown Speaker (01:08:29.079)
That's very normal.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:30.079)
So there's every time on like a, the Penn and Teller Fool Me show, all the closeup magic
Unknown Speaker (01:08:36.340)
guys will eventually do this thing where they're like, uh, what's your card?
Unknown Speaker (01:08:40.000)
And then they'll pull it completely blind.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:42.640)
Like wouldn't it have been cool if I pulled this card?
Unknown Speaker (01:08:45.479)
Like if that happened on TV, it like, if it really happened, you'd have to end the show.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:50.800)
Like you'd be like, no, we can't, we'll start over.
Unknown Speaker (01:08:53.399)
This, what do you do?
Unknown Speaker (01:08:55.680)
Everybody just stops and goes.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:01.159)
Three people like jump off a roof.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:04.880)
I can't live in this world.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:06.439)
It's coming true.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:08.439)
So we've got one last clip.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:11.319)
Was that the point?
Unknown Speaker (01:09:13.319)
What?
Unknown Speaker (01:09:14.319)
Um, so we get a little bit of closure.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:16.960)
Ron Paul was meeting with the military, the whole military, and he does show up for like
Unknown Speaker (01:09:24.579)
the last few minutes of the show and they talk about basically nothing.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:28.560)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:29.560)
We're at the get him up next week.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:30.800)
We got him for five minutes right now.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:32.399)
I'm twisting her arm to get them on, just the listeners batter me to get him on.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:36.600)
So I lobby him and he's such a great American.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:38.760)
We got him five minutes.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:39.760)
Congressman, will you join me again next week for the customary 20?
Unknown Speaker (01:09:43.119)
We'll do everything possible to do it.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:45.159)
I will give you almost an absolute.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:49.119)
That sounds like maybe not.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:50.760)
That's a big old no.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:52.640)
Maybe Alex in 2006 didn't have as much pull.
Unknown Speaker (01:09:55.359)
Hey, uh, are you going to, are you going to, are you going to click yes on this Facebook
Unknown Speaker (01:10:00.640)
and really Ron Paul, do you like, you clicked maybe you've clicked maybe.
Unknown Speaker (01:10:05.760)
And I don't think I can handle the maybe, but I think oftentimes maybe actually really
Unknown Speaker (01:10:11.359)
means no.
Unknown Speaker (01:10:12.359)
It's a big old no.
Unknown Speaker (01:10:13.359)
Is that Jack Johnson?
Unknown Speaker (01:10:16.159)
It seems to me that maybe he was asking that guy, are you Jack Johnson, sir?
Unknown Speaker (01:10:20.640)
Jack Johnson.
Unknown Speaker (01:10:21.640)
Jack Johnson.
Unknown Speaker (01:10:22.640)
Okay.
Unknown Speaker (01:10:24.640)
Someone's staring at me like I made up a musician.
Unknown Speaker (01:10:30.920)
Has no one heard of Jack Johnson?
Unknown Speaker (01:10:35.079)
Did I get the name wrong?
Unknown Speaker (01:10:39.439)
What's up?
Unknown Speaker (01:10:40.439)
Oh, shit.
Unknown Speaker (01:10:43.840)
My 23 year old self is going to get his ass kicked by you.
Unknown Speaker (01:10:47.760)
Wait, wait until we talk about how he badgered me to play Tim McGraw on the drive over here.
Unknown Speaker (01:10:53.760)
Tim, two people in the car had not heard the song Indian outlaw, which is an incredibly
Unknown Speaker (01:11:02.119)
offensive song.
Unknown Speaker (01:11:03.920)
And then two people heard one minute of the song Indian outlaw and then refused to hear
Unknown Speaker (01:11:08.880)
any more of the episode.
Unknown Speaker (01:11:11.439)
It was a different time when Tim McGraw wrote, no, it was still offensive.
Unknown Speaker (01:11:14.560)
It was about there.
Unknown Speaker (01:11:16.560)
Yep.
Unknown Speaker (01:11:17.560)
So Jordan, what, what, uh, what do you feel you've learned today?
Unknown Speaker (01:11:22.479)
I don't know.
Unknown Speaker (01:11:23.479)
I feel at the end of this, here's the weird thing at the end of this, what I really take
Unknown Speaker (01:11:27.779)
away is a lot of pathos for that car.
Unknown Speaker (01:11:31.840)
Like as, as we've gone along, like the more I've thought about the car and the way that
Unknown Speaker (01:11:37.119)
the car might feel in the context of this episode is that if the car were an anthropomorphic
Unknown Speaker (01:11:44.079)
device and it were forced to participate in an info Wars commercial, right?
Unknown Speaker (01:11:51.039)
This makes perfect sense.
Unknown Speaker (01:11:53.000)
And it's like, that is, that is a great takeaway.
Unknown Speaker (01:11:57.399)
I'm worried about this car.
Unknown Speaker (01:11:59.560)
So Texas independence day is, um, not celebrated.
Unknown Speaker (01:12:03.239)
Nope.
Unknown Speaker (01:12:04.359)
I do like that there's a narrative arc with the Ron Paul, will he, won't he?
Unknown Speaker (01:12:08.720)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (01:12:09.720)
That was a nice thing that teased throughout.
Unknown Speaker (01:12:12.000)
Yep.
Unknown Speaker (01:12:13.000)
Took some boring calls.
Unknown Speaker (01:12:14.000)
We got to hear from Louisiana dentures is always great to hear from.
Unknown Speaker (01:12:17.000)
Hey, I mean, it's a good day at the office.
Unknown Speaker (01:12:19.479)
Alex, a clock out after that, pretend that Ron Paul's going to come on next week.
Unknown Speaker (01:12:25.319)
I think go make some more money, uh, making money from people who scam cancer patients.
Unknown Speaker (01:12:30.840)
Hey, you know, this is a show people came to see live.
Unknown Speaker (01:12:35.800)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (01:12:36.800)
Thank you all so much.
Unknown Speaker (01:12:39.640)
We've all been wonderful.
Unknown Speaker (01:12:41.640)
Um, I guess I think we're going to have to do a little bit of an ending.
Unknown Speaker (01:12:45.640)
What's up?
Unknown Speaker (01:12:46.640)
We're going to have to do a little bit of the close out, right?
Unknown Speaker (01:12:47.960)
Yeah.
Unknown Speaker (01:12:48.960)
We're going to need DJ Danerkey up here.
Unknown Speaker (01:12:49.960)
Ladies and gentlemen, DJ Danerkey.
Unknown Speaker (01:12:50.960)
So give it up one more time for Marty DeRosa.
Unknown Speaker (01:12:51.960)
Please take care of the bar staff, tip them well, treat them right.
Unknown Speaker (01:13:06.500)
And until next time, uh, we have a website.
Unknown Speaker (01:13:09.319)
We do indeed.
Unknown Speaker (01:13:10.319)
It's knowledgefight.com.
Unknown Speaker (01:13:11.319)
We're also on Twitter.
Unknown Speaker (01:13:12.319)
We are.
Unknown Speaker (01:13:13.319)
It's at knowledge underscore fight.
Unknown Speaker (01:13:14.960)
Yep.
Unknown Speaker (01:13:15.960)
We'll be back.
Unknown Speaker (01:13:16.960)
But until then, I'm Neo.
Unknown Speaker (01:13:18.079)
I'm Leo.
Unknown Speaker (01:13:19.079)
I'm DZX Clark.
Unknown Speaker (01:13:20.439)
I am the juiciest ice cube.
Unknown Speaker (01:13:49.159)
So thank you so much.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:05.479)
We're going to be.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:19.260)
Left next, go check the water line.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:21.260)
Watch your step.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:22.260)
But you're weren't in your way to drive.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:23.760)
So while you're here, pull the tape.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:25.260)
If you want to see how the world works,
Unknown Speaker (01:14:27.260)
watch all of this from the start of the month
Unknown Speaker (01:14:29.260)
of the day.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:29.760)
James West, Taylor West.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:31.260)
So who comes in late?
Unknown Speaker (01:14:32.260)
Now who's gonna call?
Unknown Speaker (01:14:33.260)
G.B.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:34.260)
Now who you gonna call?
Unknown Speaker (01:14:35.260)
J.B.E.G.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:36.260)
If you want to wrestle, then you want to look.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:38.260)
Get out.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:39.260)
Before we get bump-rushed into the wild, wild west.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:41.260)
I am holding on to sleep right now.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:43.260)
Let's ride.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:44.260)
Let's ride.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:45.260)
To the wild, wild west.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:46.260)
Go fast in the wild, wild west.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:48.260)
We goin' straight to the wild, wild west.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:52.260)
We goin' straight to the wild, wild west.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:57.260)
Now, now, now.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:58.260)
Once upon a time in the west.
Unknown Speaker (01:14:59.260)
That man was a damn mob in the west.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:01.260)
12 of us didn't have a dime, none of us.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:03.260)
Now all of us, somebody's behind to the test.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:05.260)
I thought we'd finished.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:06.260)
Move through the shadows.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:07.260)
Ready for battle.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:08.260)
Bring all your boys in.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:09.260)
Here come the boys in.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:10.260)
Behind the back, roll the rims begin.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:12.260)
Front and center.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:13.260)
Now where you left back in?
Unknown Speaker (01:15:14.260)
Who that is?
Unknown Speaker (01:15:15.260)
It's a queen, brother.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:16.260)
Mad for your health.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:17.260)
If they're good, too.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:18.260)
If I can say it myself, they've been talking love and system.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:20.300)
Have me.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:21.300)
But I don't feel that.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:22.300)
DJ uh, DJ, DJ, DJ, DJ.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:23.460)
I need you to hear me.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:24.760)
Can't be it.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:26.260)
I'm speaking to you.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:27.260)
For an hour before I leave you.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:28.300)
This is just for you.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:29.300)
I'm a sticker stand, of your cricker stands.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:31.279)
Can I say I'm a sticker stand?
Unknown Speaker (01:15:33.279)
There's your variable play.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:34.260)
Don't treat me coming.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:35.260)
Don't you start crackin'.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:36.260)
Get your partner comin'.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:37.260)
That's your chance, wild west.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:38.260)
Can't stand the heat.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:39.260)
Then get out the wild, wild, wild, wild west.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:42.260)
Wild, wild, wild west.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:43.260)
Wild, wild, wild west.
Unknown Speaker (01:15:44.260)
Come on!
Unknown Speaker (01:15:45.260)
Come on!
Unknown Speaker (01:15:46.260)
I'm the policy walk.
