Transcript/No One Is Mad At The Crew

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N-N-N-N-N-N-N-Knowledge Fight

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Dan and Jordan, I am sweating.

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Knowledgefight.com, it's time to pray.

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I have great respect for knowledgefight, knowledgefight.

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I'm sick of them posing as if they're the good guys, saying we are the bad guys.

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Knowledgefight.

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Dan and Jordan, knowledgefight.

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Riddle her, riddle her, riddle her.

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Need, need, need money.

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Riddle her, riddle her, riddle her.

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Andy and Shandless, Andy and Shandless.

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Stop it.

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Andy and Shandless.

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It's time to pray.

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Andy and Shandless, you're on the air.

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Thanks for holding.

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Hello Alex, I'm a first time caller.

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I'm a huge fan.

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I love your world.

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Knowledgefight.

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N-N-N-N-N-Knowledge Fight.com.

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Knowledgefight.com, I love you.

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Hey, everybody.

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Welcome back to a little intercontinental sneaky,

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sneakiest snakes of all, perhaps.

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I forgot how to say snake in French.

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My French is a bit rusty.

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Have you picked up a snake, a loose snake?

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No, and every time, that's my favorite part of being here.

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Every time, because my partner, she grew up in Canada

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and learned French through Quebec.

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Every time she's tried to even come close

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to saying a French word, they just immediately go like,

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English, OK.

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So they don't even, they cut you off before you even

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come close to being like, bonjour.

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They're like, nah, nah, nah, nah, get the fuck out of here.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Don't fuck up my language.

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They have a fair amount of disdain for people who

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try to speak French, which I think

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is the opposite of what I've heard of in Canada,

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where they have disdain if you don't try.

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Give it a shot.

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Yeah.

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So anyway, I'm Dan.

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I'm Jordan.

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We are recording this over Zoom.

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I am in Chicago.

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You are in Paris, France.

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I am in the nicest bathroom in Paris, France

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that I could find.

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The lighting looks terrible in that bathroom, I will say.

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Well, I could turn it on, but it's about 6 o'clock here.

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So about 30 feet away, somebody is asleep.

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Fair enough.

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It is a, I don't want to get too,

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this is going to sound incredibly depressing,

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but it's like about midnight on Christmas for me.

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It's the day after Christmas at 6 in the morning for you.

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And here we are.

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And here we are, yeah.

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Like totally normal people who do totally normal things.

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God damn it.

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More gradifications.

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Yeah, yeah, super good at it.

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Well, see, here's the thing.

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You left, and then everything happened.

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I know.

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It was like, hey, it's just going to be a week.

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Jordan will be back, no big deal.

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Alex sues the government.

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It was over Christmas.

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Yeah, he turns on Trump, decides

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he has to deal with Trump saying that he got the booster

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and it's great.

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It's kind of amazing.

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It is kind of amazing that we have

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spent two months in the present in almost a holding pattern.

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Very much.

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Just COVID, COVID, blah, blah, blah, blah.

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And then the moment I'm gone, fireworks.

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Yeah, whenever it's possible to cover the present, it sucks.

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And then as soon as it's not possible,

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I'm listening to some of it.

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I'm getting it ready for whenever we can record again.

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And it's fucking sweet.

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Some of it is real fun.

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There's some real schadenfreude.

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We'll get in there.

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Yeah, so that'll be fun.

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But that actually kind of brings up

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why we're doing this little Zoom thing.

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And that is because who knows when you're

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going to be back, honestly?

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Given the state of the world and international travel,

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we'd hoped that Wednesday you'd be back in time for us

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to have an episode for Wednesday.

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But that probably isn't going to be the case.

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Doubtful, very doubtful.

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We're looking probably at Friday.

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And we can't leave people with a whole week till Friday.

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We've got to come in with a little something.

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Yeah, it'd be crazy to leave people with only, what,

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one episode when we promised them zero?

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Right, right.

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It's just not our style.

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No, no, no.

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If we promise you zero, you're getting two episodes.

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Yeah, so I guess before we get into something

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that I have prepared for fun, do you have a bright spot?

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Oh, I do have a bright spot.

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It is being in France.

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Le spot du Soleil.

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Nice.

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Isn't that sunspot?

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Yep.

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It's as close as I can tell.

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Le spot du brilliance.

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No, it's fantastic.

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Everybody in this place is amazing.

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It really is.

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Paris is crazy.

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Incredible.

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I love it here.

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Have you gotten out to the countryside at all?

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No, you literally cannot do that.

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You cannot leave Paris and re-enter it without

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quarantining for like 10 days.

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So it's like, that's made me feel safer than otherwise.

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Sure.

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The countryside is gorgeous, but maybe not that gorgeous.

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Not worth it.

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You don't need it that bad.

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I'm an indoor kid anyways.

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I like cities, man.

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This is a good city.

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This is the first city I've been to outside of, let's see,

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San Francisco felt like a city.

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And then a lot of other places have.

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And Paris feels like a city.

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Yeah, I love it.

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Are you taking in any outdoor cafes?

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Oh, yeah.

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Check out that scene.

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Every outdoor cafe, you can't avoid it.

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I did not believe there would be this much bread.

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I knew there was going to be a lot of bread.

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Depends.

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There's going to be a lot of bread.

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Oh, it's three million, the pan.

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Frankly, they're famous for it.

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Le baguette, le croissant.

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God damn, man.

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All of these breads, they're there.

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Walking down the street, people are hitting me

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in the streets with it.

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You get a croissant du bois, the butter croissant.

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Oh, no, you want to chocolat del pan.

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Oh, so good.

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Yeah.

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I can't think of any more French words.

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We'll get more in-depth on your trip when you get back,

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and we'll be able to decompress and everything.

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I have an actual bright spot, and that is some presents

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that folks have sent.

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But I want to wait until you're here to actually give shout outs

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to them.

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But just preemptively, thank you to those folks,

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and we'll zip up the mailbag whenever you're back.

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But my other bright spot is that with you out of town,

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a little bit of a lighter workload.

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So I took the time to finally do something

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I've been meaning to for a while.

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And that is I went and I got an eye exam,

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and I got some glasses coming.

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So I'm very excited about that.

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Yep.

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I've been putting it off a bit.

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All the time glasses or readers?

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What's up?

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All the time glasses?

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Yeah, yeah, all the time glasses.

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Gotcha.

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I think, I mean, look, I sit here at the screens

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a lot of the time, and I don't know.

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I'm just going to wear the glasses.

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Look, I'm looking forward to it.

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Yeah, I noticed a little bit of a diminishing in my eyesight

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over the last couple of years.

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And it's better to be proactive on that than not.

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Absolutely.

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And I'm excited to really work on this professor look.

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Like the look is going to, it's starting

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to come together a little bit.

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So no, I'm telling you, when we do all,

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you know how we do all of our live appearances,

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when we do those, it's going to make

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me feel so much more comfortable if we're

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both wearing glasses.

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Sure, all of those live appearances we do.

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We can't stop doing live appearances, honestly.

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We've done two or three ever.

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So Jordan, here's the deal.

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In your absence, I've been trying

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to get a bit of stuff done.

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And so like I've been hitting some bases,

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like Reset Wars, obviously.

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I've been going through the Reset Wars stuff.

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But also I've been digging into some of the old files

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that I've found on various real player things on websites

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that are long gone.

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Sure, cold case files.

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You can still find the little audio files.

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So today, what I've got for you is a couple of clips

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from Alex's show on June 30, 1998 that I think are so funny.

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So at this point, Alex's show is called Exposing Corruption.

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Really?

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Yes.

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He also is part of another show in Austin

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called The Freedom Report.

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But that's not every day of the week.

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I think this is just a weekly show at this point.

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But anyway, he takes calls sometimes.

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And so that's what we're going to listen to today.

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We're going to listen to a guy who's

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calling in and wanting to talk to Alex about like, hey, man,

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what are you doing?

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Are you serious?

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And so this is where we will start with this caller.

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I'm a very passive person.

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I watch you practically every week, Alex.

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I got to admit, a lot of you is entertainment as far

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as the reason why I watch you.

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But I mean, I think you've got a lot of good things to say.

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On the other hand, I'm one of those people that go, OK,

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settle down.

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Everything's going to be cool.

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I think everything's, you know.

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Really?

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I think there's.

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What are you going to do?

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Do you have any elderly people that live around you?

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Uh, my, you know, neighborhood just recently, my, my,

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my grandparents, not the ones that not my father's parents,

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but my mother's parents live in a humble home

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with a nice backyard.

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And they worked hard their lives.

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And they're not rich.

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Right.

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And the IRS are to steal their house.

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Personally, I haven't seen that type of thing.

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You know, I did a story on Mr. Willis,

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78 years old World War II veteran, lives in South

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Austin in a humble home.

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I have to stop here.

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Does humble home mean something like,

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is that something really specific

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or is it just like it's not that big of a home?

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I, I think the idea behind humble home

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is the person who lives in it is not embarrassed,

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but also not going to tell people all about it.

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You know what I'm saying?

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It's not like ostentatious.

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It's not.

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Right, right, right.

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There are no minarets.

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Okay. So Alex is grandpa.

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Oh yeah.

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I'm just, I'm just picturing the moment young Alex

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says the IRS tried to steal my parents' homes.

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I am picturing jackbooted thugs breaking it

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in the middle of the night and trying to put like little,

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little suspenders underneath the house to lift it up,

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put it on the truck and get it out of there.

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You know what I'm saying?

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I'm seeing people coming from black helicopters,

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repelling down ropes and attaching the house to the helicopter.

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We'll take it off.

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Yeah.

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Uh, yeah.

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I think it's probably just that they didn't pay their taxes thing.

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Wouldn't make sense.

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Yeah.

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So anyway, Alex's grandparents have befallen this fate

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and also some other guy that Alex knows.

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He's had a stroke.

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Oh, I think that's all part of that.

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Bureaucrats target old people.

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You know, you sit here, they target them

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because a lot of times they can't stand up to themselves

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and they just get sucked dry by the bureaucrats

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because they're getting a little bit old.

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You take Roland Ellingson, another World War II veteran,

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living out there on West 37.

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$2,000 a day fines for three inch grass.

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I showed you the ticket.

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I saw that.

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I saw that.

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Well then what do you want from me?

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Don't you tell me this is entertainment.

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Oh, come on, man.

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Come on.

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Don't you tell me this is entertainment, buddy.

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This is real.

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Alex, I called you up to be, don't, don't, don't do that, man.

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No, I'm sick of it.

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I'm sick of it.

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I'm standing up for the people, damn it.

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Oh, I understand that, man.

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This isn't an act.

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I'm a real person.

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Come on.

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OK, well now I understand.

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There's some civil relations in this country, buddy.

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I haven't had my soul sucked out.

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I think it's wrong that people can't sell their houses because

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of the environmental crap the corporations can

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go around and lobby the politicians to get out of it.

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Alex, man, I did not call you up to this.

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Man, you don't have to get in people's face like this, man.

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I'm the fifth person here.

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I don't want you to kiss my ass.

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I want you to get up and do something.

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I want you to get up and do something.

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And don't you tell me I got a problem because I

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care about this country.

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Alex, I'm all right, man.

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I mean, I, you know, it's all like I can go out and confront

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those IRS people, but I'm afraid to.

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But as I grow stronger, someday I may do what it takes.

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I'm defending this Constitution.

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I'm defending this country.

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Thank you, man.

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You can believe the mass psychology if you want to.

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No, I love this so much because it's like Alex's monologuing

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and his nonsense stuff works so much better when he has

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a cough button and he could just not let people respond.

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This guy's like, come on, man.

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Oh, great.

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The last line there is, Alex, I'm OK, man.

Unknown Speaker (00:13:26.360)

That's my favorite.

Unknown Speaker (00:13:28.080)

Alex, Alex, calm it down.

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I'm just trying to tell you that you're screaming too much

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and you're an alarmist.

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What are you talking about?

Unknown Speaker (00:13:37.039)

Yeah, so unfortunately, the file that I have

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doesn't have like everything surrounding this.

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But from all the context you can get,

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Alex is talking about the IRS trying to steal people's homes.

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And this guy is saying that maybe he's

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being a little bit over the top about it.

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And so he's.

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Alex, there's a lot of injustice in this world.

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I get it.

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I'm with you.

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But screaming about it isn't going to do too much good,

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is it?

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Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah.

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OK, I'm starting to see that this might be an issue

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for further conversations.

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I think that there's something so awesome about just

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the juxtaposition too that makes Alex's yelling so much funnier.

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Having a straight man to his yelling,

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it's exactly what you kind of need

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to pierce the reality of it.

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Totally, totally.

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Amazing.

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The more calm the straight man is,

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the funnier it is to see Alex lose his mind.

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For sure.

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So this caller brings up that Alex doesn't really

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use a whole lot of sources in his reporting.

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This is where the conversation veers off towards.

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And this kind of makes Alex angry a little bit,

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you might say.

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You rely on a source when it tells you

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something you want to know.

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That's when the source is good.

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Otherwise, the source is crap.

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No, no, we have children around here.

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I talk about it, everything's children.

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Saving play for a rainy day.

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What are the looks to the future of China?

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Cheaper age regime may save thousands of children.

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Children, children.

Unknown Speaker (00:15:22.399)

Oh, today's paper.

Unknown Speaker (00:15:24.159)

Oh, I'm sorry, the chip page.

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Children, the DNA chips are going to help children.

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Here.

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OK, I'll go one more time.

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Oh, I'm not through.

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I'm not through smoking.

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I'm not through saving the children.

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I'm not through China, the failing year.

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We got to help the children.

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Oh, God, this guy's taking his kids with his children.

Unknown Speaker (00:15:41.399)

Oh, look, look, look, this is a wholesome Disney

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movie for your children.

Unknown Speaker (00:15:46.159)

Yeah, yeah, I answered your question.

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Let's go to video and I'll be back.

Unknown Speaker (00:15:52.279)

You are a child.

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That's what they want you to be.

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That's what the word child means.

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They want you to be the babies of the state.

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We're the children, dumb ass.

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We'll be right back.

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I'll take your phone calls.

Unknown Speaker (00:16:07.240)

It's full of corruption, damn it.

Unknown Speaker (00:16:09.279)

Yeah, so Alex stormed off his own show.

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Even back in 1998, he couldn't control himself.

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Andrew just stormed off his own show.

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1998, we have gone back 23 years only

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to discover that he's not mad at the crew,

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but he just can't do this for a while.

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I'm going to have to go to rebroadcast.

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This caller is being too much of a dick.

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I got to play a video and get the fuck out of here

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because this guy is a child.

Unknown Speaker (00:16:40.440)

I like that.

Unknown Speaker (00:16:42.639)

Hey, Alex, do you realize that everything you do

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is built entirely upon confirmation bias?

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What the fuck are you talking about?

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You're a child.

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That's fair enough.

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I like the sign of an artist, I think,

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is somebody who will do the same thing when

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they're rich and when they're struggling.

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And to see Alex freaking out and storming off his own show

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when he's a millionaire and when he's on public access

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is pretty awesome.

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I think the real hallmark of an artist

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is to never evolve in any significant way.

Unknown Speaker (00:17:19.400)

Well, speaking of evolution, you made a point

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that in the present day, Alex, he's not mad at the crew.

Unknown Speaker (00:17:26.960)

No.

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And here's what happened right after this video

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that Alex played in 1998.

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Hello, Austin, Texas.

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Totally hope you're enjoying the show tonight.

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We're making a new rule.

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Nobody goes in the control room or we have no reason

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to even do this show.

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Because every time five or six people come up and hang out

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in the control room, this happens.

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And I don't understand why.

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And look, I know this is all volunteer,

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but I mean, we got to bring the public.

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This is important.

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And I'm not mad at y'all.

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I just got to show it to the show.

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You can still do a good job, which you do do.

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We just got to keep people out of the control room.

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It's not your fault.

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He literally said he's not mad at the crew.

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Does he exist outside of time?

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Is he right about one thing, which

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is that he's beyond the fourth dimension

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and that no matter what era we see him in,

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he will be doing exactly the same thing?

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But it's not like what's remarkable about it

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is it's not the same thing in terms of the content

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that he's putting out.

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It's not the same thing in terms of even like a lot

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of the beliefs that he has.

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The things that are the same are the like petulant outbursts.

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He's a shitty child.

Unknown Speaker (00:18:45.759)

Yeah.

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I think this is a cautionary tale

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about people who are very suspicious about mental health.

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I think there's, I think the explanation of all of this,

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like when you get down to it, is Alex

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had some sort of mental and emotional issue.

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His parents didn't help him grow up.

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And he's not experienced any consequences for his behaviors.

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And that's how you get a violent sociopath on the radio.

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I imagine it was years and years of him

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yelling at his parents and then coming back and being like,

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I'm not mad at the parents.

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No, right?

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It's got to be the same.

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That's your only conclusion now after watching him

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on the show 23 years ago.

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He must have been doing that 33 years ago when he was 12

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or whatever.

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Scream at the teachers and then storm out of the room

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and come back after talking to the counselor

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and be like, look, I'm not mad at the teachers.

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I'm sorry.

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I'm not mad at the math.

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All right?

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I get it.

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I understand the math.

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Every time I try to do math, we wind up doing this.

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So I guess.

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But we got to fix math.

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Yeah, I found that.

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And I thought like, well, we cannot bring this to the world.

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I can't sit on that.

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When I hear 1998 I'm not mad at the crew, the world must know.

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It's got to be broadcast and then rebroadcast

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whenever you get real angry.

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So Jordan, I hope the rest of your trip goes well

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and you have a safe return.

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As do I.

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Thanks for making time in the bathroom to do this.

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Of course.

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It's odd to say, but this is maybe

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one of my favorite, if not my favorite thing to do.

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Sit in the bathroom and talk to Dan.

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I feel honored.

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And I will talk to you soon, man.

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Be safe.

Unknown Speaker (00:20:46.720)

Love you, buddy.

Unknown Speaker (00:20:47.599)

Love you, man.

Unknown Speaker (00:20:48.319)

We'll see y'all on Friday, probably.

Unknown Speaker (00:20:52.200)

Oh, hopefully.

Unknown Speaker (00:20:54.359)

Andy in Kansas, you're on the air.

Unknown Speaker (00:20:55.839)

Thanks for holding.

Unknown Speaker (00:20:58.400)

Hello, Alex.

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I'm a first time caller.

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I'm a huge fan.

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I love your work.

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I love you.